Saturday, October 27, 2007
RANDI VS TRACEEEE
California vs Victoria! Blackwater vs Bracks water! Yes, fight fans, we’ve got ourselves a leftoid paranoia battle between American Crazy Randi Rhodes and Australian challenger Terrified Traceeee Hutchison. Who will claim the title of Dumbest Media Blonde of the Week? Show us what you got, Randi:
I started just doing Google searches to try and figure out. You know, arson, arson, it was like crazy trying to figure out why is that being downplayed? Why is that, you know, just a small part of the story? And you know, every time I look for it what comes up, believe it or not, is that Blackwater wants to move to San Diego and build this giant complex in San Diego right where most of the evacuations are taking place and you know.
Yes. And you know. Now over to Traceeee, who sees all manner of conspiracies emerging in Melbourne:
I’ve been mulling this over for a while. That and the increasingly large freighter ships coming out of China heavily laden with steel made from Australian iron ore. The kind of steel one imagines might be useful in making bloody big warships ...
It just made me scratch my head and contemplate what on earth might be going on. And it made me ponder whether all this manoeuvring and attempted fast-tracking of the channel-deepening project had anything at all to do with getting things done within a certain time.
Randi:
It just spooks me, I can’t explain to you how creepy this whole thing is that you know, you’ve got these fires. Some of them are thought to be the work of arsonists and in the same breath you’ve got a community that’s on fire that just recently protested Blackwater West. Just recently said no to Blackwater and apparently you don’t do that.
Traceeee:
And it made me wonder why it looks like state Planning Minister Justin Madden is being pushed into approving the channel-deepening project ...
Randi:
I mean, I don’t even know what to think. You know, nobody is saying Blackwater set the fires, that is nobody that doesn’t want their house burned down. Nobody is saying that, but it is all so bizarre that this is America and you have to sort of sit there and wonder ...
The pair are almost inseparable at this point, trading blow for paranoid, evidence-free blow. Breaking the “wonder” deadlock, Traceeee now takes things to the next level:
And then it occurred to me that all of it put together had the creeping, yet unmistakable, odour of an unwanted paper mill in the Tamar Valley.
Can Randi match her? Can she counter Traceeee’s perfectly-deployed “and then it occurred to me” delirium? Oh, yes. Oh, yes, she can:
And then you find out that some of the guys that used to work for Blackwater are now in Schwarzenegger’s administration.
It’s all so creepy.
Clear win to Rhodes. Should the contest have gone to a tie-breaker, Randi’s vertebrae-snapping compassionate head tilt would still have seen her over the line.
*PLEDGE WEEK* Now in its final days! Kick in some dollars, Traceeee fans, and let’s see if the decision can be reversed.
UPDATE. Contrail:
A car rear ends another in heavy traffic on Sydney’s Parramatta Road, creating traffic chaos. One of the drivers involved is a small businessman who voted Liberal in 2004. On the other side of the world, in New York City, a dog barks savagely at a man in a dark suit and turquoise tie. The dog might have seen Kevin Rudd the night he went to a strip club because the dog was living in NYC at the time. In Afghanistan, a roadside bomb tears apart a bus, killing all on board. The bus is similar to one used by a mysterious Liberal candidate in a Victorian rural electorate. The candidate knows the local party branch chairman, who knows the state director of the Liberal party who talks regularly to the party’s federal director who in turn has links to the Prime Minister himself.
Is it just me and Traceeee or can others see the pattern?