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Sunday, December 18, 2005

PRECIOUS RESOURCES TO BE DEVOURED

Environmentalists hate it when people make fun of their religion. Speaking of profound ecological issues, a bunch of us are planning a trip to Western Sydney International Dragway on December 26-7 to see that bitch goddess Nature take one between the eyes. Please email me if you’d like to come along; even if you have no interest in motorsport, it’s worth attending just for the delightful environmental activities. Listen carefully during a Top Fuel race and you can almost hear the planet screaming.

UPDATE. “Shame on you,” writes David Crawford. “Dragsters make Mother Gaia cry.” Yes. Yes, they do. And here’s why:

77: Gallons per minute the fuel system can pump at wide-open throttle. The engine will consume 22.75 gallons of fuel during warmup, burnout, staging, and the quarter-mile run.

28: Quarts of oil used during warm-up and quarter-mile run.

1082: Greenbacks you’ll need to buy a pair of new Goodyear R36x17.5 rear slicks. If you’re lucky, they’ll last you a bit over a mile.

165: Temperature in Fahrenheit of the 14-71-type supercharger after just 4.5 seconds of maximum boost.

Nice numbers. But we must always remember that the War on Nature won’t be won until the last rainforest is harvested, the last glacier melted, and the last panda eaten.

UPDATE II. Enviro-guy Brian S.: “One criticism I’ll make of parts of the environmental movement is showing insufficient desperation over global warming.” Maybe they don’t actually believe in it.

UPDATE III. AussieJim: “Actually, doesn’t Nitromethane burn pretty hot and clean? I think that Tim should stop all this political point scoring and start doing something to help the environment. He can start by converting his MX-5 to this promising alternative energy source.”

UPDATE IV. Environmentalista Stephen Gloor—who posts here as Ender—is gloomy. Or possibly gloormy.

UPDATE V. Lambert reader Scott Church: “Blair has a long history of making far stupider statements than these, and then trying to sue anyone who publicly attempts to correct him.”  I think he’s getting me mixed up with someone else (Wayne Sanderson, possibly). Scott also comes up with this brilliant line: “If Blair is joking, he has a funny way of showing it.”

Posted by Tim B. on 12/18/2005 at 10:09 PM
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