Saturday, March 03, 2007
NO REGION WILL BE SPARED
Der Spiegel has der scoop:
Global climate change is happening faster than previously believed and its impact is worse than expected, information from an as-yet unpublished draft of the long-awaited second part of a United Nations report obtained by SPIEGEL ONLINE reveals. No region of the planet will be spared and some will be hit especially hard.
I was at this card game the other night, and ... oh, sorry. Got distracted. Back to global warming:
The main conclusion of the report is that climate change is already having a profound effect on all the continents and on many of the Earth’s ecosystems. The draft presents a long list of evidence:
* Glacial lakes are increasing in both size and number, potentially leading to deadly floods
Potentially. Or it could just lead to a few more harmless lakes.
* Permafrost in mountainous regions and at high latitudes is warming increasing the danger of land slides.
Note to self: do not relocate to an area beneath permafrosted high-latitude regions. (Reply to self: it’s a deal, Timmy!)
* As the temperature of rivers and lakes rises, their thermal stratification and water quality is changing.
The thermal stratification is changing? Hand me some frickin’ cyanide capsules, already.
* River currents, affected by melting glaciers and ice, are speeding up during the spring.
Gasp! Faster river currents, you say?
* Springtime is starting earlier, causing plants to bloom earlier and changing the migrations of birds.
Considering that birds evolved from dinosaurs, the relatively minor matter of altered migratory schedules should be easy enough for them to cope with.
* Many plants and animals are expanding their habitats into mountainous regions and higher latitudes that are becoming milder.
Expanded wildlife habitats are a problem now? Man, this eco-crisis deal is hard to keep up with. Maybe Al Gore can save us all by buying more carbon credits from his own company.