Sunday, May 06, 2007
IT KILLTH ANIMALTH
The New York Times reports the latest evidence of green child abuse, following several recent cases:
The children are all too familiar with the apocalyptic warnings of climate change. “A lot of people are going to die” from global warming, a 9-year-old girl from Harlem announced at one point. And a 7-year-old boy from Park Slope said with a quiet lisp, “When you use too much electricity, it kills animals.”
Well, it does if you hook up the electrodes right. The rest of the Times piece focuses on some warming-afeared chap who’s been eating Central Park plants for 25 years:
Mr. Brill found the premature blooming of Central Park’s flowers a cause for alarm.
“The violets have been coming up early,” he said, charging through the park’s back alleys and byways. “The wild raisins are already budding. And the dandelions were flowering in February. They wouldn’t have dared to do that back in the ’70s.”
Because Mr. Brill would’ve eaten them, presumably. He must be on a diet these days.