Saturday, July 29, 2006
HUG WARNINGS
Teenager Erica Hei-Yuan Chan, a student at the same private school attended by John Howard fan Stephen Battaglia, writes to the Age:
I wonder whether schoolchildren would flock to [Howard] so readily were he drenched in the blood of those who have died in Iraq. Or covered in the greasiness of the “business deals” in East Timor. Or if his lips and eyes were sewn up.
Erica raises an important subject. How many of us, hug-crazed as we are, would hug people if they were drenched in blood or grease? Or if they’d sewn their eyes shut? Not many, I bet! Before you hug anybody, please check that they are not:
* Only minutes old and covered in bloody birth-slime
* A grizzly bear
* Your elderly patrician boss
* Concealing a suicide bomb
* Coated in atomic sap from hugging nuclear saplings
* The zombie Prime Minister, advancing on you with sewn-up eyes