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Monday, June 13, 2005


Michael Gawenda, The Age’s man in Washington, reports:

The majority of Americans believe in creationism rather than evolution.

And I bet Gawenda can’t name a single one of them. Also, his data may be a little astray; according to this round-up of polling on the issue, creationism—although widely supported—is yet to reach majority-belief levels. Gawenda’s assertion puts him in the same dumb club as John Quiggin: “The great majority of climate change sceptics, globally speaking, are also creationists”.

Those gullible, Jesus-believing sceptics! Gawenda’s piece, which he appears to have extracted from a posterior zone located within the panted region, includes this claim about a recent speech delivered in Washington by Australian foreign minister Alexander Downer:

It is possible that even an Australian breast or two swelled a little with pride as Downer explained how we had “punched above our weight” in all the wars in which we had been involved.

Downer mentioned in a recent profile (not available online) how much he hated that phrase. Sure enough, it doesn’t appear in the speech Gawenda has quoted. The former Age editor’s difficulties with basic facts continue. Professor Bunyip examines Gawenda at greater length, although he became sickened before noting this:

The Australia of vast empty spaces still to be settled and conquered, fabulous beaches, perennial sunshine, gorgeous women, incredibly friendly, uncomplicated people and unlimited opportunity, doesn’t exist.

Sure, Mike. Australia is a crowded land with skanky beaches and sunless skies, populated by ugly chicks and tormented hateful idiots who crave opportunities denied them. Speaking of whom, here’s Lucy Ellmann in The Guardian:

American sentimentality may once have seemed endearing, but now we know it’s just another instrument of evil. Every aspect of American culture has begun to stink of the grave. The pizzas and hamburgers: this is how world tyrants fuel themselves. The cars, the drugs, the music, the TV: this is how they distract themselves from their crimes. But how can they still think they’re right about anything? Their children are deep-fried, drug-soaked numbskulls, the adults hapless lemmings in their SUVs, heading straight into the back-end of the American dream. Where is the guilt - and where the apology?

Naturally, Ellmann’s work has been praised in The Age.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/13/2005 at 12:51 PM
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