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YOU READ ‘EM HERE FIRST

Achmed, Farouk and Ali go mainstream. So does uncovered meat.

UPDATE. Fashion experts at Muslim Village discuss recent trends in t-shirt design.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/09/2006 at 11:03 PM
  1. Royalties?

    Posted by anthony_r on 2006 11 09 at 11:25 PM • permalink

  2. Both are brilliant and show how humourless the left really are.

    Posted by Nic on 2006 11 09 at 11:27 PM • permalink

  3. I wonder…will he remember the little people?

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 11 09 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  4. That was most very well done Mr. Critt.

    Next time though, you need to have a Star Trek style “red shirt” in there as background to the main cast.

    Once a Red Dot of Death appears on a man’s chest… yeah, you need some red shirts in there to take the hits for the Faroukers.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 09 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  5. ‘Ali: No. No “Kumbaya” singing.’
    ‘Farouk: But Ali, I like this song. It is fun to sing!’

    I gotta go along with Ali on that one.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 11 09 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  6. Some of their buddies bit off more than they could chew: The flying jihadi brothers.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 09 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  7. A little OT, but the “uncovered meat” link has a “other stories” link with the somewhat…umm, puzzling, title: Sex scandal: 50,000 with no member

    For some reason the name John Wayne Bobbet came to mind.

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 11 09 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  8. Or, John Wayne Bobbitt

    Google first, write second.

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 11 09 at 11:59 PM • permalink

  9. #8, rinardman:

    yeah, order is everything, innit?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 10 at 12:02 AM • permalink

  10. Things seem to be getting hot for the Three Jihadis.  How long before they move to Amriki and open convenience stores?  Well, maybe Achmed and Ali will open convenience stores.  Farouk will end up driving a cab, probably in Minneapolis.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 10 at 12:06 AM • permalink

  11. What is this?  Who is this Christian dog Crittenden?  Farouk, if there something you would like to tell me?

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 10 at 12:29 AM • permalink

  12. Kree-tin-din! Kree-tin-din! It sounds like the noise insects make at night, so loud sometimes it keeps me awake!

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 10 at 12:31 AM • permalink

  13. Wow. And to think I knew them back when they were just getting started out.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 10 at 12:32 AM • permalink

  14. TV ALERT! Sheik Hilaly talks to Ray Martin on 60 Minutes this Sunday

    You have been warned! I heard Ray talking on Sydney radio hyping the show and he was asked, “does the Sheik regard himself as Australian?”. Ray answered, “Oh definitely Chris, definitely, his daughters are as Australian as you and I. I would be proud to be their neighbor”.

    I’m not kidding. So 60 Minutes is a <u>DEFINITE TURN OFF THIS SUNDAY</u>. Do not watch or a severe vomiting attack will strike you.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 11 10 at 12:32 AM • permalink

  15. Don’t change the subject, Farouk.  Who is this pork-gobbling infidel and how does he know these things?  ...His knowledge is very detailed.  But you must admit, do I not come off looking good?

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 10 at 12:33 AM • permalink

  16. Kree-tin-din ...  it is an odd name.  You know, I think I remember hearing this once before.  At Shuhada Square in Baghdad.  Great fight up the street!  Bullets everywhere! RPGs screaming around! It was magnificent!

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 10 at 12:37 AM • permalink

  17. Just wait until Crittenden, lays the big bomb on Achmed, Farouk and Ali, by telling them that they really are the offspring of Jewish Immigrants that made it big in Amerikiyah. Last name, Marx.

    What a kick in the hookah, that will be….:). Get ‘em Crittenden.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 11 10 at 12:37 AM • permalink

  18. Yes, I remember this, Farouk.  You were huddling in the corner of my mother-in-law’s apartment, bubbering like a girl, and I dragged you over to the balcony!

    Posted by achmed on 2006 11 10 at 12:39 AM • permalink

  19. Nothing of the sort!  As I recall, you were under the bed, baaing piteously like a sheep!  I was bravely at the window with your pistol, shooting at the Crusaders!  Then, something strange happened ...

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 10 at 12:42 AM • permalink

  20. “FBI, please. Smedley? Paco. I think I know where you can collect Mohammed, Larry and Curly.”

    Good work, Jules! Terrorists need to be defeated, but there’s no reason, meantime, we can’t give ‘em the horselaugh!

    Posted by paco on 2006 11 10 at 12:43 AM • permalink

  21. For the love of Allah, get on with it, or you’ll both be blubbering soon!

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 10 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  22. Pa-koh.  This name I know also from that day.  Something strange happened.  The Crusaders occupied the square, but when I shot with your pistol, Achmed (a very poor quality and small calibre, if I may say so) at first they ducked but then they walked around ignoring me, and this of course made me angry!

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 10 at 12:47 AM • permalink

  23. Farouk!

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 10 at 12:49 AM • permalink

  24. Yes, well ... in the middle of the square, among the large Ameriki vehicles of Shaitan, a big puff of smoke!  I thought, “Good! I have hit one!”  But then the smoke cleared, and there was a telephone booth.  And I thought, “Strange, I don’t remember a telephone booth in the middle of Shuhada Square!”

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 10 at 12:51 AM • permalink

  25. Someone, please, make me shaheed now ...

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 10 at 12:53 AM • permalink

  26. Here’s a thread over at Islamic Sydney:

    “Quality infidel clothing”? I think not.

    Fair enough. I think they’re pretty crappy too.  Someone extended the idea:

    I didn’t know that an infidel could be quality irrespective of who’s calling who an infidel.

    OT, an opinion piece in The Bulletin on Lebanese in Sydney contained this spaff:

    Perhaps it is time to examine how we know certain things, particularly when it’s the government telling us to be scared. Did anyone ever tell you that among the victims of Bilal Skaf’s gang were an Aboriginal, an Italian and a Greek. So much for the racially motivated hate crimes!

    You’re right! They’re actually culturally motivated hate crimes.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 10 at 12:57 AM • permalink

  27. Out from this telephone booth came three men.  They were angry at one another. They were dressed very funny, in skirts with big wastebaskets on their heads, like Nebuchadnazzer the Babylonian idol worshipper in my school book!

    Also, I think they had been drinking devil water that one of them kept in a large earthen pot he held very tight.  He was the one they called “Wrong Right.”  What kind of name is Wrong Right, Ali?

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 10 at 01:00 AM • permalink

  28. What Farouk says is true, Ali!  I also have seen this.  I believe they were Djinn!

    Posted by achmed on 2006 11 10 at 01:02 AM • permalink

  29. An entrepreneurial Sydney man is cashing in on the controversy…

    Oh why don’t they just come out and say it. They mean a Jew, don’t they?

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 01:02 AM • permalink

  30. Yes, I believe someone has been hitting the devil water all right.  Continue, Farouk.

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 10 at 01:03 AM • permalink

  31. Thank you.  They began shouting at each other.  The one with the jug said, “Kree-tin-din, where the hell have you brought us! This ain’t no Ancient Sumeria and these ain’t no ziggurats and those there damn sure ain’t no chariots and bows and arrows!”

    The Kree-tin-din said, “Wrong Right, I believe it was YOU who stuck the zulu spear into the works!  Now give me that jug!”

    The Wrong Right said, “Stay away from my mead! Pa-koh, get him off me!”

    The Pa-Koh, “This is what happens when you trust a dame!”

    I don’t know what is a dame.  Ali, what is a dame?

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 10 at 01:10 AM • permalink

  32. Irony - Shirts are covering the meat that gets the nuf-nufti all hot and bothered?

    Posted by curious george on 2006 11 10 at 01:47 AM • permalink

  33. Just wait until the left loons see Jules’ piece ridiculing the noble jihadist savages (and their ethnicity).  They’ll be howling for his blood by noon tomorrow.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 11 10 at 01:48 AM • permalink

  34. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. That village is overstocked with idiots.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 02:05 AM • permalink

  35. Thanks for lifting my poor sagging spirits.  Loved the piece and can’t tell you how happy I am to see the jihadi three-stooges go mainstream!  Bloody marvelous.  Made my day!

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 11 10 at 02:27 AM • permalink

  36. #26 MuzzieZapper,

    Yet more proof that there is no humor in Islam.

    Losers.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 10 at 02:41 AM • permalink

  37. From Muslim Village o’ Idiots:

    “The font used on the front is Comic Sans. Talk about lack of inspiration.”

    Yeah, they should show the cat getting its head sawed off. That’d be inspirational.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 10 at 02:49 AM • permalink

  38. #36 Spiny Norman. Oh there is some humour. (BTW, is it easier to turn an infidel’s frown upside down if you behead him first?) Was just reading this thread on the acceptability of sharing a lift with a member of the opposite sex and found this:

    Your only option brother is to hit the emergency stop between, call security and ask for her to be removed.

    Classic piss-take (hopefully).

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 10 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  39. So much for the racially motivated hate crimes!

    Italians and Greeks are different races? Interesting concept!

    Posted by Quentin George on 2006 11 10 at 02:57 AM • permalink

  40. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. That village is overstocked with idiots.

    You win “Comment of the Thread”.

    I tip my hat to you, fellow infidel.

    Posted by Quentin George on 2006 11 10 at 02:58 AM • permalink

  41. #38 - What’s the uncovered harlot doing out unaccompanied? Further signs of moral decay in our car re-birthing community.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 03:00 AM • permalink

  42. #40 - Thank you indeed. I’ll probably be living in nursing home for Dhimmi’s before I reach Dave S. comment appreciation level.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 03:03 AM • permalink

  43. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. That village is overstocked with idiots.

    That was a good’un. I just hope in my latest spate of running my pie hole I havent landed myself full splat into that catagory.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 10 at 03:09 AM • permalink

  44. #26

    Yes.  I think that it should be made public that, as well as Skippies, they’re into raping Boongs, Dagos and Wogs.  That would make the situation so much more palatable.

    Posted by murph on 2006 11 10 at 03:10 AM • permalink

  45. haha, that’s great.  :-)

    Excuse my immaturity, but I feel just like when you’re a kid and you know ‘something’ (anything!) before everyone else did!

    I’ll be chuckling all day about this. ;-)

    Posted by ekb87 on 2006 11 10 at 03:25 AM • permalink

  46. Well, what else could crittenden do?  What with Bill Whittle (who is Bill Whittle?) nominating some slow-down-or-you’ll-miss-it blathering by Dave S as Sentence of the Year and Reynolds giving his nod and trophy.  It’s a ratcheting up of writings without UN permission, that’s what it is.  It’s got to stop!

    Once upon a time it was just Tim Blair doing some fair Aussie bleating.  Then a few of us started following Tim’s lead and offering our own funny renderings.  Now some of you are trying for that Post of the Year every freaking time.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 10 at 05:58 AM • permalink

  47. Thanks crittenden - just the tonic neded after a bad day

    As for the Muslim Village site

    I’m recommending this as the comment of the week for over there:

    From Jamal

    “Wow man wow”

    How’s that for brilliance eh?

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 10 at 06:10 AM • permalink

  48. Now some of you are trying for that Post of the Year every freaking time.

    sheesh, I’m mostly trying to not get banned.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 10 at 06:14 AM • permalink

  49. Crittenden, that did not happen (quite that way)!  And put down my Sumerian mead!  Brandy my ass.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 10 at 06:16 AM • permalink

  50. By the way, McEnroe, we still haven’t heard from Stoop Davy Dave.  I still suspect he’s taken the Tardis II and is travelling back in time.  MarkL and I have scoured the ages, going back to Sumeria (you know, just in case), pre-dynasty Egypt, and 13th century France (never again).  I’ve also talked to Ipnapishtu or whatever his name is.  He hasn’t seen him and he’s still pissed off about the slight flooding that was inadvertently caused by a neocon project.  I told him it was probably caused by global warming.  Please don’t tell crittenden about this because I still don’t trust the guy.  He’s from Boston.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 10 at 07:08 AM • permalink

  51. #26 Muzzie

    That Bulletin article was tripe.

    Poor misunderstood Lebanese Muslims, good citizens. Can’t get jobs if they tell prospective employers that they are Lebanese.

    #37 Showing the cat getting it’s head sawn off, well, that’s humane, isn’t it, and so perfectly acceptable.

    #39
    Italians and Greeks must be different races to people descended from Brits. It’s all racialism, y’know.

    Posted by kae on 2006 11 10 at 08:01 AM • permalink

  52. Perhaps it is time to examine how we know certain things, particularly when it’s the government telling us to be scared. Did anyone ever tell you that among the victims of Bilal Skaf’s gang were an Aboriginal, an Italian and a Greek. So much for the racially motivated hate crimes!

    Here in the US, if a bunch of white guys went out and attacked a Cherokee, an Italian, and a Greek, there’d be some strong suspicions that, yes, they were racially motivated.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 10 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  53. Oh my, that was the best Three Jihadi short yet!  And the Tardis Trio showed up right in the middle of it.  Life doesn’t get any better.

    That Muslim Village site doesn’t let you register anymore, or at least not where I could find.  Of course, I didn’t look very hard.  But I couldn’t see the comments, oh well.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 10 at 01:04 PM • permalink

  54. #49, Wron, OH SHIT!. I just realised that I’m Baldrick…

    Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 10 at 02:18 PM • permalink

  55. I’ve also talked to Ipnapishtu or whatever his name is.

    Glenn Reynolds.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 10 at 02:42 PM • permalink

  56. I thought of the meat shirts first darn it, there’s someone in sydney making them.

    Re daily telegraph.

    I wanna make glitsy burqa’s that are plastic and have bling. michelle leslie can model them

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 11 10 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  57. DAMMIT!! Team America on the telly, Tim Blair and Achmed, Farouk and Ali on the pc. No wonder my desk is a mess.

    I’m going to have to stop reading at lunch time! ROFL, guys.

    Jules you are priceless - keep it up.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 10 at 09:23 PM • permalink

  58. Achmed, I have been reading of our exploits on al-Internet.  While the portrayal of myself is in fact quite flattering, it is haram for an alcohol-swilling infidel to create images of Muslims. In fact, I believe this Crittenden may actually MOCKING us.  Tell Farouk to run over to Cave 342D and fetch me Fatwa Requisition Form AQ-666. No, two copies.  This Tim of Blair Al-Strayliyah also has offended Islamness.  While you’re at it, get one for the Wrong-Right, because he is a mead-guzzling pig, and al-Paco, he of the infidel airline policy of inflight Islamo-fascist tossing.  Fatwas all around!

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 11 at 09:13 AM • permalink

  59. Fatwa! Fatwa! FATWA! ...It is fun to shout this!

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 11 at 09:15 AM • permalink

  60. Let’s see, four Fatwa requisition forms. Would you like effigies with that?

    Posted by achmed on 2006 11 11 at 09:18 AM • permalink

  61. Yes.  Also, Farouk, I want you to stop by Cave 362A, and pick up the painted flags of Al-Straliyah and the Great Satan.

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 11 at 09:21 AM • permalink

  62. FATWA! FATWA! FATWA!  ... can I light the effigies, Ali?

    Posted by farouk on 2006 11 11 at 09:22 AM • permalink

  63. You are still here?  Get al-move on, you goat!

    Posted by ali akbar on 2006 11 11 at 09:24 AM • permalink

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