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YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ...

... you don’t know how to use a possessive apostrophe.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/06/2005 at 09:39 AM
  1. well that suck’s

    (ok ok, that wa’s predictable)

    Posted by benson swears a lot on 2005 06 06 at 10:46 AM • permalink

  2. Your right, but its’ the thought, not it’s result, that matters.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 06 06 at 10:50 AM • permalink

  3. That’s not a possessive apostrophe. That’s a glottal stop.

    Posted by Scott Ferguson on 2005 06 06 at 10:52 AM • permalink

  4. pa’the’tic!

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2005 06 06 at 11:13 AM • permalink

  5. O’T -Hanoi Jane Fonda’s encroaching on Robert McNamara’s personal space and forcing him to shake hands(tonight’s news) strongly put me in mind of Biff’s chinese burn attempt on John Howard, pre election.

    Posted by crash on 2005 06 06 at 11:13 AM • permalink

  6. Yikes - redneck jokes from down under.

    Two redneck tidbits:

    - The plural for “y’all” is “all y’all”

    - Typically, the last words of a redneck are “hey y’all - - watch THIS!”

    G’day y’all!

    Posted by dc981924 on 2005 06 06 at 11:14 AM • permalink

  7. Hello and welcome to Media Watch, I’m Liz Jackson.

    And I failed elementary grammar.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2005 06 06 at 11:41 AM • permalink

  8. First Margo, and now Liz. What the hell is going on down there?

    Posted by ErnieG on 2005 06 06 at 12:05 PM • permalink

  9. As a person of sturdy red neck lineage myself, I only have two things to say about all of this: (1) what the hell is an apostrophe?, and (2) thanks to encountering dc981924’s joke at a very inopportune moment, I’m now cleaning RC Cola and Moonpie off my shirt.

    Posted by paco on 2005 06 06 at 12:13 PM • permalink

  10. “This week Australia embarrassed itself with the hoax terror attack on the Indonesian Embassy.”

    Let me get this right.  ALL Australians are COLLECTIVELY responsible for a stunt?  Imagine the reaction to anyone stating, “This week, Islam embarrassed itself with an ACTUAL terror attack on (insert your attack specifics here).”

    We’d be deafened by a wheezing calliope of faux-outrage and charges of ‘Islamophobia’ from media and political dhimmis.

    Posted by cosmo on 2005 06 06 at 12:28 PM • permalink

  11. R.C. Cola sounds like the name of a redneck.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 06 at 12:28 PM • permalink

  12. She must have learned it from the Margo Handbook of Style, Chapter 5, Redneck’s and Yankee’s.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 06 at 12:29 PM • permalink

  13. We must all learn to embrace our inner Redneck, y’all.

    Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2005 06 06 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  14. “This week, Islam embarrassed itself with an ACTUAL terror attack on (insert your attack specifics here).”

    That’s the problem, it would be nice if a few Muslims were embarrased!

    Even better if they were a majority of Muslims.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2005 06 06 at 01:09 PM • permalink

  15. On the other hand, to do my people credit, most of the troops I’ve heard interviewed here and there on television do seem to talk with a southern drawl, so while the rest of you folks crack wise about hillbillies, just remember that the odds are it’s a red neck who’s out there right now kickin’ terrorist butt so “all ya’ll” can retain the freedom to, among other things, have a little fun at his expense.

    Posted by paco on 2005 06 06 at 01:18 PM • permalink

  16. Right on, Paco.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 06 06 at 01:45 PM • permalink

  17. They gets real uppity when they take the wheel’s off the house, don’t they?

    Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2005 06 06 at 03:14 PM • permalink

  18. And all this time i thought a red neck was someone who believed muslims actually go out and kill infidels.

    Posted by davo on 2005 06 06 at 03:20 PM • permalink

  19. Correction, dc981924 - It’s “Hey, y’all - hold my beer and watch THIS!”  ;-p

    Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2005 06 06 at 04:18 PM • permalink

  20. I welcome you all (y’all?) to the Proud to be Pedants Club.

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 06 06 at 05:13 PM • permalink

  21. This is pretty petty, Tim. Not your usual line-for-line rebuttal. I’ll wait for your defense of Ackerman and Bolt.

    Posted by nwab on 2005 06 06 at 05:52 PM • permalink

  22. “This week Australia embarrassed itself with the hoax terror attack on the Indonesian Embassy.”
    This week Australia embarrassed itself because howard could not accept the “blame’ fast enough on behalf of Austral;ia quoting Anthrax or other deadly agents of bioterrorism without even waiting for the resukts of the analysis.
    Quoting a Letter that the redneck public is not worthy of seeing , he refers to this as reliable information.
    Show us the letter Johnny or shut up!

    Posted by davo on 2005 06 06 at 06:06 PM • permalink

  23. Davo, are you a web-editor at MediaWatch? ;)

    Posted by nwab on 2005 06 06 at 06:45 PM • permalink

  24. “Another definition is the use or threatened use of violence for the purpose of creating fear in order to achieve a political, religious, or ideological goal.”
    So why was it a hoax terror attack.
    So many disasters have occurred as a result of the minimising of risk. The underground fire in UK resulted from the dismissal of the many fires that had occurred previously where the particular circumstances hadn’t resulted in a major fire. Flashes I think they were called. So now we have “hoax” terror attacks.
    Interesting that only News Limited papers appeared as worthy of attention from Old Media Watch.

    Posted by Ros on 2005 06 06 at 07:01 PM • permalink

  25. ‘Pretty petty’? Is she related to King Richard Petty all y’all?

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 06 06 at 07:13 PM • permalink

  26. Isn’t the Ozzie equivalent of a redneck a “yobbo?” Or have I not watched enough Paul Hogan?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 06 at 07:36 PM • permalink

  27. Here is the text of johnny’s hoax letter, source of Australia on bended knee apology to Indonesia , where every child has the opportunity to graduate to a career in slavery.

    Y’all read this carefully now!
    When our lil darlin was unjustly sentenced by them devils in that godforsaken island, we knew it was time to show you barbarians that we will not take your infamy lying down.

    Signed
    Brett Burke. AKA (Omar Bakri)

    Posted by davo on 2005 06 06 at 07:43 PM • permalink

  28. R.C. Cola sounds like the name of a redneck.

    Hey!  Watch whose (‘scuse me, make that “who’s”) relatives you’re dissin’ there!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 06 06 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  29. Isn’t the Ozzie equivalent of a redneck a “yobbo?” Or have I not watched enough Paul Hogan?

    Yobbo is more loutish bogun than redneck, but close enough.

    Posted by RhikoR on 2005 06 06 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  30. My former employer in a desperate rush to obtain Politically Correct Status decided that us rednecks needed to be taught how to correspond sensitively with our Ethnic subjects.A suitably warm and fuzzy consultant was engaged for a one day indoctrination session for the princely sum of $20,000.During the course of the day the use of the apostrophe was canvassed with the apostrophe enthusiasts taking the opportunity to bore the rest of the class with their knowledge. At the end of the day all the bullshit to which we had been subjected could be distilled down to “write it like you would say it” and the high priced brain-washer agreed that that was the essential message we needed to grasp to avoid offending.Inevitably the question was posed;“How do you say an apostrophe?”

    Posted by Lew on 2005 06 06 at 08:52 PM • permalink

  31. No thappy, Liz!

    Posted by SheikYerbouti on 2005 06 06 at 09:20 PM • permalink

  32. Liz Jackson and Margo belong to the generation who missed out on a pedagogic education: anyone who was at school between about 1965 and 1980, when teachers decided that grammar shouldn’t be taught anymore. “Say it how it us” resulted in a whole era of students whose careers were stunted because they couldn’t write English.

    Posted by mr magoo on 2005 06 06 at 09:27 PM • permalink

  33. Wow!! An apostrophe that shouldn’t be there! Scoop. Of. The. Year.

    Keep up the good work you pedant.

    Posted by thanasi on 2005 06 06 at 09:50 PM • permalink

  34. Somebody take a screen shot.

    Posted by murph on 2005 06 06 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  35. Blackadder:  Thanasi, have you no idea
    what irony is?

    Thanasi: Yeah, it’s like goldy and bronzy, only it’s made of iron…

    Posted by murph on 2005 06 06 at 10:33 PM • permalink

  36. It’s the Arabic influence.  Apostrophes all over the place.  That’s what happens when you spend all those years sucking up to the jihadis…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 06 06 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  37. Hello my dear Australian friend’s, (at least, I would like to think the feeling i’s mutual)...  Excuse me, but I’m wondering just what the heck y’all know about redneck’s???  Surely you can’t claim to know what a redneck i’s any more than I am familiar with wombat’s?

    I was fairly surprised to see not only that redneck’s figured in the title of that piece, but indeed there i’s also a reference to a Daily Telegraph article:

    Angry redneck army roaring at the gates
    Piers Akerman

    The level of sexism, racism and ignorance reflects poorly upon Corby’s supporters…The rednecks need to be reined in.

    — pg 20, The Daily Telegraph, May 31 2005

    I looked up redneck, expecting perhap’s to find that y’all Aussie’s had appropriated the term to your own use’s, but it doesn’t seem to be so—that entry directly refer’s to the Southern U.‘S. and say’s nothing about Down Undah…

    What give’s?  Y’all been watching _Duke’s Of Hazzard_?

    dc9….: - The plural for “y’all” is “all y’all”.

    I’m not an expert at linguistic’s, or the South for that matter, but I think what happened i’s thi’s:  everybody got sick of “thou”, so “you” became both singular and plural, just about everywhere.

    Then those in the South started using “y’all” to distinguish the plural.  So for awhile it wa’s unambiguou’s:  “you” wa’s singular,  and “y’all”, (id est, “you all”) wa’s plural.

    But then “y’all” got so common that it suffered the same fate as “you”—it became singular and plural.  So here come’s “all y’all”, to once again distinguish the plural from the singular “y’all”.

    So “y’all” is either plural or singular, depending on who you are, where, when, and it i’s paired with “you” or “all y’all”, respectively.

    I think’s.

    Posted by zeppenwolf on 2005 06 06 at 11:35 PM • permalink

  38. This week Australia embarrassed itself with the hoax terror attack on the Indonesian Embassy.

    Just like America embarrassed itself with the attacks on the WTCs?

    The person (people?) behind this mailing could have been in Australia for less than a week, for all we know.

    For a program supposedly designed to combat things such as unfounded accusations, this is pretty dodgy.

    Posted by Andjam on 2005 06 06 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  39. This week [Media Watch] embarrassed itself with the [stipid] attack on [Australia]

    Posted by lingus4 on 2005 06 07 at 12:24 AM • permalink

  40. Down here we use ‘yous’ for the 2nd person plural pronoun. Like ‘y’all,’ it’s considered low class, but it’s really too useful to do without.

    Posted by SteveGW on 2005 06 07 at 02:03 AM • permalink

  41. Magoo, my mother was at school during the period you mention (60s to 80s) and writes and spells impeccably. She attended a state school in suburban Melbourne. I didn’t suffer for grammatical instruction either - during the 70s and early 80s - and attended only public schools (in NSW and Qld). My career has hardly been stunted, either (quite the opposite), nor have those of my school mates.

    Perhaps my experience across a number of years and at half a dozen different schools is exceptional, but I don’t see how you can qualify your remark about teachers deciding “that grammar shouldn’t be taught anymore”. I gather this is part of the rightist theory that socialists took over the country a few decades ago and screwed things up.

    Posted by nwab on 2005 06 07 at 06:23 AM • permalink

  42. “This week Australia embarrassed itself with the hoax terror attack on the Indonesian Embassy.”

    Yeah, right. A rogue element in Australian society posts a probably/possibly harmless powder to the Indonesian ambassador. I wonder how embarrassed Indonesia was when a rogue element of their society actually blew up our embassy?

    Posted by James Waterton on 2005 06 07 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  43. Nwab, why have you turned into such a tosser of late?

    Posted by James Waterton on 2005 06 07 at 12:33 PM • permalink

  44. So what the heck do you do with a wombat?
    Play wom with it?

    Posted by SgtMom on 2005 06 07 at 01:21 PM • permalink

  45. OK nwab, you and your mother are the exceptions; you had a perfect education in grammar. By the way this has nothing to do with private vs public education.

    To test my argument, ask anyone over 40 and under 65, the following htree questions:

    1. parse a sentence - any sentence.
    2. give an example of: the past perfect continous tense.
    3. give examples of a)modal verbs; b)phrasal verbs. 

    In fact you’ll probably find plenty of people under 40 who can’t answer them either. The people most likely to give the right answers will probably be non-native learners of English.

    Posted by mr magoo on 2005 06 07 at 11:53 PM • permalink

  46. Denying that state schools have problems is like denying that hospitals have problems, or asserting that the Sydney trains run well. Individual students will do well if they work and can ignore the handicaps imposed on them by sub-standard teachers and classmates who detract from the classroom experience.
    Being a contrary prick trolling here seems to be an attractive pastime for nwab, who probably thinks he is demonstrating some form of prowess to his own personal peanut gallery. It does not impress anyone else, due to the fact that he really has nothing of substance to offer. Heed Andrea’s warning.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2005 06 08 at 07:05 AM • permalink

  47. Phonetics were not taught during that time’

    Posted by crash on 2005 06 09 at 12:35 AM • permalink

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