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WORMS DENIED

Noah Greenwald, conservation biologist with the Center for Biological Diversity:

Denial of protection for the earthworm is all too typical of the Bush administration ...

(Via Lee M.)

Posted by Tim B. on 03/05/2008 at 12:06 PM
  1. Who Said That?

    “In order to solve the climate crisis we have to solve the democracy crisis, and we have one.”

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 03 05 at 12:10 PM • permalink

  2. Key quote…

    “This is absurd! This is the same agency that told me that our petition contained more data on this earthworm than any other source. They are playing political games at the giant Palouse earthworm’s expense, and we are spitting mad.


    ...considering that it deals with the spitting earthworm.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2008 03 05 at 12:30 PM • permalink

  3. It’s the early bird lobby pressure.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2008 03 05 at 12:37 PM • permalink

  4. Denial of protection for the earthworm is all too typical of the Bush administration ...

    He does have a point.  It is typical.  Very typical.

    Posted by wronwright on 2008 03 05 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  5. The giant Palouse earthworm belongs to a group of earthworms, called Anecic, which are the largest and longest-lived earthworms. The giant Palouse earthworm was reported to attain a length of three feet, to have a peculiar flowery smell (Driloleirus is Latin for “lily-like worm”), and to be cream-colored or pinkish-white. It lived in permanent burrows as deep as 15 feet and has been reported to spit at attackers and move quickly through the soil to escape predators.

    And one of them almost ate Kevin Bacon in Tremors.

    Posted by Merlin on 2008 03 05 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  6. Giant earthworms.  Can we ride them?

    The spice must flow

    Posted by Room 237 on 2008 03 05 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  7. “Denial of protection for the earthworm is all too typical of the Bush administration, which has protected the fewest number of species under the Endangered Species Act of any administration since the law was passed.” To date, the Bush administration has protected only 58 species, compared to 522 under Clinton and 231 under the first Bush president.

    Color me skeptical on this assessment.  Bush 41 left office in 1992, 16 years ago.  An alternate explanation is that the list of potential candidates for endangered species is finite, and most of the others have been listed already, hence the lower number.  It’s possible that Mr. Greenwald is, ummmmm, digging pretty deep here. 

    I’d also like to point out that the Palouse region is a major source for wheat, and is sometimes referred to as the breadbasket of the Northwest, with world wide exports.  A point that a lot of environmentalists ignore in their various attempts to curtail human activities here.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 05 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  8. A three-foot earthworm?  Man, you could go whale fishing with that!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 03 05 at 12:51 PM • permalink

  9. i just don’t understand these people.  they believe in the ‘survival of the fittest’ yet cry when some species doesn’t fit the criteria and disappears? 
    i am very confused here and that’s not a pretty picture with lassruaid
    please pour me a double of lagavulin, barkeep

    Posted by missred on 2008 03 05 at 12:53 PM • permalink

  10. “An alternate explanation is that the list of potential candidates for endangered species is finite, and most of the others have been listed already, hence the lower number.”

    Well, there’s an obvious solution for that. The Bush administration needs do everything it can to endanger more species, so that it can then protect them. This will greatly increase its score on the Species Protect-O-Meter, which is apparently the sole measure of how environmentally noble a President is. Praise and awards from environmental groups will follow, I’m sure.

    Posted by sundog on 2008 03 05 at 01:07 PM • permalink

  11. #6

    Damnit. I knew I’d be too late for a Dune referrence.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 03 05 at 01:09 PM • permalink

  12. Excellent find, Tim (and Lee M.)! One of the most uproarious examples of BDS, yet.

    Posted by paco on 2008 03 05 at 01:09 PM • permalink

  13. Do you suppose the last giant Palous earthworm was eaten by the last ivory-billed woodpecker?

    Posted by paco on 2008 03 05 at 01:19 PM • permalink

  14. If these worms aren’t allowed to burrow and thus relieve stresses in the earth’s crust, it could lead to earthquakes! And it’s all George W. Bush’s fault.

    I haven’t yet worked out how these worms help prevent climate change, but I’m sure that they do.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2008 03 05 at 01:20 PM • permalink

  15. Praise and awards from environmental groups will follow, I’m sure.

    Woo hoo!  What a wonderful idea, sundog! 

    And before you know it, this insidious species will be on the endangered species list, thereby ensuring the eventual destruction of humanity.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 05 at 01:22 PM • permalink

  16. Re #13, paco, that would be the spotted owl in this neck o’ the woods. 

    And I hear that spotted owl is mighty tasty; perhaps it’s from their diet of giant worms?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 05 at 01:25 PM • permalink

  17. #16: That’s right, RJ! Spotted Owl under glass is the epitome of hoot cuisine.

    (Ok, ok; I realize that joke is a “bannable” offense. Won’t happen again).

    Posted by paco on 2008 03 05 at 01:30 PM • permalink

  18. Popular signage in logger-heavy (and cash-poor) No. Cal. forest town watering holes:

    “When you run out of toilet paper, try wiping your ass with a spotted owl.”

    Posted by mojo on 2008 03 05 at 01:36 PM • permalink

  19. Here we have a POTUS that is letting our forces plant as many people in the ground as they can lay their hands on, which adds greatly to the available food sources for worms, and the envirotards still say it’s just not enough.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2008 03 05 at 01:38 PM • permalink

  20. “This worm is the stuff that legends and fairytales are made of.  A pity we’re losing it.” 

    Puff, the magic Anecic.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2008 03 05 at 01:55 PM • permalink

  21. Call me sentimental, but it’s kind of touching when enviro-loons leap to the defense of their fellow invertebrates.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2008 03 05 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  22. Center for Biological Diversity

    Sounds like it’s a bestiality-promotion organisation. Is that Peter Singer anus on its board of directors?

    And #6 LOL, Room 237. But would Al Harkonnen Gore approve of exploiting them as transportation?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2008 03 05 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  23. Don’t know, I think the methane emissions might be a deal-breaker.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 03 05 at 02:19 PM • permalink

  24. The planet is worm food!

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 03 05 at 02:19 PM • permalink

  25. “Stop Groeble Wormening.”

    “I mean start Glow Ball Wormening.”

    “I mean… kill George Bush.”

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 03 05 at 02:36 PM • permalink

  26. Something needs to be done. I propose a grant of $50,000,000 be made to the nonprofit organization Earthworm Relocation Now In Emergency (with a modest consulting fee of 10%) to relocate these earthquake-inhibiting worms to sites along the San Andreas Fault.

    If this funding effort fails, the San Andreas Fault should be renamed the George W. Bush’s Fault. That way, when the Big One comes, we’ll know who to blame.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2008 03 05 at 02:41 PM • permalink

  27. #26: Sounds like a completely fair and objective organization to me, Ernie.

    the San Andreas Fault should be renamed the George W. Bush’s Fault.

    Oh, man that’s good!

    Posted by paco on 2008 03 05 at 02:45 PM • permalink

  28. Denial of protection for the earthworm is all too typical of the Bush administration

    Utter rubbish. GWB has gone above and beyond in the protection of all our worms.

    He even visits Ted Kennedy on occasion, just to make sure.

    Posted by El Cid on 2008 03 05 at 02:54 PM • permalink

  29. These guys aren’t thinking clearly.  It’s time for a Sponsor a Worm campaign!
    I happen to think that giant earthworms sound pretty cool, so I’d sign up to sponsor one.  Especially if they send me periodic pictures of my adorable, sad-eyed worm with updates of how well he/she/it is doing in school.

    Posted by Mary in LA on 2008 03 05 at 03:01 PM • permalink

  30. A three-foot earthworm?  Man, you could go whale fishing with that!

    Yeah, but picture the fight you’d have getting it on the hook.

    Posted by Achillea on 2008 03 05 at 03:03 PM • permalink

  31. “This worm is the stuff that legends and fairytales are made of.  A pity we’re losing it.”

    This sums up the current environmental activist movement quite nicely, don’t you think?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 03 05 at 03:05 PM • permalink

  32. #11, Spiny, me too.

    Btw, this comment is for you and Reese.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 03 05 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  33. #8 RebeccaH,

    “A three-foot earthworm?  Man, you could go whale fishing with that!”

    pphhtt! Three footers. Here in Australia we don’t protect anything under ten feet long. ;)

    Posted by Pogria on 2008 03 05 at 04:17 PM • permalink

  34. Eh, this worms stuff is for the birds.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2008 03 05 at 04:18 PM • permalink

  35. I’m sure that Oz would be up to helping us out, wormwise. We could import some of their Giant Blue earthworms, or maybe some of their Giant Gippsland earthworms.

    If that’s not on, maybe we can head for the Andes and some Giant Andean earthworms, instead.

    Posted by steveH on 2008 03 05 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  36. And, let’s not forget our worm’s Carnivoruos Cousins that are waiting to greet you when you take that romantic stroll on the beach! heheheh

    Posted by Pogria on 2008 03 05 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  37. #7 ‘the Palouse region is a major source for wheat, and is sometimes referred to as the breadbasket of the Northwest.’

    Typical of Bush - sustaining pointless sunset industries while ignoring the enormous clean potential of Worm Export.

    He has learnt nothing from Mugabe.

    #7 andy, we exported Peter Singer from Australia. We thought the whole world needed to know how annoying he really is.

    Posted by Barrie on 2008 03 05 at 04:32 PM • permalink

  38. Sorry, the second #7 should be #22.  Too early in the morning.

    Posted by Barrie on 2008 03 05 at 04:33 PM • permalink

  39. The Bush blaming is referred guilt (read down). The last living lily worm was hacked to death with a shovel in 2005 by an environmental student in an opportunist frenzy to “collect” a rare specimen (she may also have been motivated by concerns about the worm’s carbon footprint…).

    Other worm hunting safaris are described in the linked piece, including organised gangs of children (organised by enviromental scientists) tearing up a remnant sliver of natural prairie for a chance to bag an endangered species.

    The shame of it.

    Posted by PJF-UK on 2008 03 05 at 04:45 PM • permalink

  40. haven’t you people read James Schmitz?  The worms have their own freaking world.

    Besides, no worm ever donated to a Congressional campaign. 

    well, that’s biologically true, anyway.

    Mind you, plenty have held the office.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 05 at 04:50 PM • permalink

  41. James Sch—holey moley, I thought I was the only one who’d read the Hub books.

    Posted by Achillea on 2008 03 05 at 05:01 PM • permalink

  42. First they came for the earthworms, but I was not an earthworm, so I said…

    “Fuck them earthworms and the nematodes they rode in on”

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2008 03 05 at 05:05 PM • permalink

  43. (Leans away from Joe in anticipation of the inevitable lightning strike…)

    Posted by mojo on 2008 03 05 at 05:11 PM • permalink

  44. Denial of protection for the earthworm is all too typical of the Bush administration ...

    All I can say is typical neo-con, anti-environment, right-wing thinking. Here in Australia Kevin Rudd hasn’t made the same mistake and a representative of the giant gippsland earthworm community will have a place at Rudd’s 2020 extravanaganza.

    A gyrating Rudd Government Environment But not Climate Change Minister Peter Garrett said yesterday “that for too long the opinions of Australia’s bio-diverse fauna were ignored by the Howard Government. We will talk to the animals.”
    “And fuck you, you yellow slant eyed whale killing Nip arseholes,” he added diplomatically.

    Posted by Contrail on 2008 03 05 at 05:26 PM • permalink

  45. Here in Australia Kevin Rudd hasn’t made the same mistake and a representative of the giant gippsland earthworm community will have a place at Rudd’s 2020 extravanaganza. 

    I hope that it is a girl earthworm! The 2020 extravaganza is currently a little skewed towards the XY chromosome.  A bit of a PC gaff for the 100 day old Rudd Labor govt….still many worms are hermaphrodites so that might fix things up a bit.

    Posted by Apparatchik on 2008 03 05 at 06:13 PM • permalink

  46. 3 foot worm? Pfft. We have a 6 foot slug known as Phatticus Adammus.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 03 05 at 07:39 PM • permalink

  47. Hey, I thought Bush was an earth worm, no? The lefties seem to think it.

    For the educated out there, is there a word that means unintentional self-parody
    you know, like schadenfreud, etc.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 03 05 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  48. To answer my rhetorical question:

    auto-derision
    burlesque
    buffoonery
    auto-satire
    self-mimicry
    self-imolation
    laughingstock

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 03 05 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  49. Further to #26: the Earthworm Relocation Now In Emergency - Group. If it is to be a proper NGO, the organization conference will have to be held in some place like Bali. Spare no expense. This is absolutely necessary to assure the Group’s credibility.

    After the conference, we will roll into the Prairie village in our black Escalades, with pith helmets and epaulets. Lower grade staff, drivers and whatnot, will wear turbans.

    I understand that one of these worms was accidentally killed by a researcher when it was cut in half by a shovel. That should have made two worms, but never mind. We need an environmentally responsible way to dig up these worms. The fact that we will have Escalades suggests a solution.

    Does anybody here have experience “digging doughnuts?”

    Posted by ErnieG on 2008 03 05 at 08:02 PM • permalink

  50. #8 I’d like to see the hook, rebeccaH :-)

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 03 05 at 08:03 PM • permalink

  51. #13 Which came last, the chicken or the egg?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 03 05 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  52. #39 ppsshffssshplssshh They have their own web site!!

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 03 05 at 08:11 PM • permalink

  53. #26 So when the Big One gives us a new coastline, we can applaud GW for the new jobs in real estate, sun tan oil, surf boards, bikinis, etc? Great plan!

    Hot tip: buy real estate in Riverside! Guess they’ll have to rename that.

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 05 at 08:32 PM • permalink

  54. MASSIVE VOTER FRAUD IN WASHINGTON.

    Democrats caught cutting worms in two to double voter turnout…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 05 at 08:33 PM • permalink

  55. O/T

    Urban guerrilla falls while liberating imperialist billboard:

    A MAN is lucky to be alive after falling from a billboard in Melbourne’s inner north this morning.

    Paramedics were called to Newmarket Railway Station in Flemington about 2.40am after a man in his 20s fell four metres.

    Clearly the Indymedia politburo should be jailed for its criminal neglect of the occupational health and safety regulations.

    Posted by monaro on 2008 03 05 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  56. #28 Now you’ve done it El Cid! The Giant Palouse Protection Society is filing a suit for defamation!

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 03 05 at 08:43 PM • permalink

  57. Those bastards in the Bush Administration have forced the earthworms underground.

    Posted by rob w on 2008 03 05 at 08:43 PM • permalink

  58. I read the report, and I can picture it now.
    As the worms rear up from the soil, spitting at anyone including small children, their strong smell invades the nostrils creating an unforgettable experience.

    These things should be a tourist attraction! Forget whale/dolphin/bird watching.
    Worm watching is the way of the future.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2008 03 05 at 08:45 PM • permalink

  59. Oh that Bush really is a monster!

    Posted by Brian on 2008 03 05 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  60. Worms ignored, Spiders on Drugs

    Biodiversity gone to the pack..

    Posted by Pickles on 2008 03 05 at 09:23 PM • permalink

  61. #6 (having not read any further yet…)
    Dune?

    Posted by kae on 2008 03 05 at 09:47 PM • permalink

  62. Even a worm will turn. - John Heywood (c.1497-1580) “Treade a worme on the tayle and it must turn agayne.”

    Which way a worm will turn, probably awaits a government science research grant.
    The tale will probably takes years to be finalised.

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 03 05 at 10:10 PM • permalink

  63. achillea… you realize we’re THIS CLOSE to getting you to admit you read Andre Norton, yes?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 03 05 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  64. As the other thread mentioned

    “Rise up against these elitist scum! Demand plastic bags with pride. If your snooty vendor hestitates, request a bag for every single item purchased.”

    Ban on bags can’t carry weight

    They might not do much for marine animals, but someone is making a lot of money out of them.

    Who is making money out of the worms?

    Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 03 05 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  65. Quote of the year, Tim!

    Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2008 03 05 at 10:55 PM • permalink

  66. What a coincidence this thread has mentioned both Peter Singer and Phatty Adams, when apparently last night one of them fellatedinterviewed the other last night on the ABC.

    Posted by entropy on 2008 03 05 at 11:01 PM • permalink

  67. #53

    Hot tip: buy real estate in Riverside! Guess they’ll have to rename that.

    Atlantis II?

    Posted by kae on 2008 03 05 at 11:12 PM • permalink

  68. you realize we’re THIS CLOSE to getting you to admit you read Andre Norton, yes?

    *coughs*

    *quickly shoves the entire Witch World series behind May’s Metapsychic Rebellion*

    I have no idea what you’re talking about.

    Posted by Achillea on 2008 03 06 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  69. #5 thuis sounds like the right type of earthworm to send down the Hizbollah and Hamas tunnels, thru which they smuggle weapons.
    Wouldn’t they be surprised!

    Posted by carpefraise on 2008 03 06 at 12:18 AM • permalink

  70. “...you realize we’re THIS CLOSE to getting you to admit you read Andre Norton, yes?”

    What’s wrong reading Andre Norton?  SO long as you do it in private, and wash you hands afterwards, I mean.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 03 06 at 02:31 AM • permalink

  71. $41 Achillea,

    ames Sch—holey moley, I thought I was the only one who’d read the Hub books.

    Nope, you’re not. All his Hub stories, and a bunch more have been reprinted by Baen Books recently, both in paper and ebook formats.

    Posted by steveH on 2008 03 06 at 04:23 PM • permalink

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