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WOO-WOO NOISE HEARD
A giant owl attacks Middlesbrough:
Craig Smith told how the bird swooped on him from behind as he ran through the station car park to catch a train from the Teesside town.
He recalled: “I heard a loud woo-woo noise and looked over my shoulder to see this creature with silver wings, claws stretched out.
“I ran as fast as I could on to the platform and it flew away.
“On Christmas Eve I saw it go for a man coming out of a pub and chase him down the street.”
Read the whole thing, especially for this chilling line, brilliantly italicised by London Sun sub-editors: “It was perched on the side of a building, watching me.”
harry is compulsory reading to stay abreast of the world today
Posted by Astonished on 2007 01 14 at 09:43 AM • permalinkOh, oh no. They told me they were all taken to the Pyrenee Mountains. They swore it to me. Karl will be angry.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 14 at 09:53 AM • permalinkOperation Death Owl is a success!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 14 at 10:19 AM • permalink“On Christmas Eve I saw it go for a man coming out of a pub and chase him down the street.”
So the owl is a member of the Women’s Christian Temperance Union?
Posted by Major John on 2007 01 14 at 10:31 AM • permalinkCould be worse. Could be a Russian killer squirrel. Personally, I don’t trust that bitch Mother Nature.
Killer squirrels? Cmon now, you cant be serious.
Oh wait, the report is from the BBC, I guess it must be true then.
Man thats a bad way to go, getting eaten from the nuts up…
Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 01 14 at 11:33 AM • permalinkAre the cops busy looking for the pecker?
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 14 at 11:58 AM • permalinkBUAWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The Killer Owls™ are coming, and they coming for us.
Well, I’ll worry about it when they starting snatching children going to school. Then I’ll volunteer for skywatch with a bird gun.
Pets are a different matter, apparently, as Snopes points out.
I posted this link because if the birds are coming for us, maybe we can placate them with the deliberate sacrifice of chihuahuas and similar minature yapping mutts.
And before you chihuahua lovers jump over all me, this is for the children.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 01 14 at 12:59 PM • permalinkBefore we decide to blame this on our feathered friends, I think we should explore the possibility that Craig Smith may have provoked the attack. For example, did you know that he was dressed like this? The owl probably saw this as a once-in-a-lifetime chance to secure food for the entire winter in, er, one fell swoop.
What, no mention of gloabl woomering?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 14 at 03:28 PM • permalinkgloabl ... ooops, spilt some entropy of the keyboard.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 14 at 03:29 PM • permalinkInteresting to read that the bird is believed to have escaped from a travelling show. If that’s true, then the locals should hope that it’s not one of these:
Many moons ago I worked for a few years in British Guiana (now Guyana) and often saw Harpy Eagles in the wild. I later saw one up close in a private zoo which weighed nearly 30lbs - the size of the thing was awesome. The owner told me that a couple of years earlier it had been startled while on the arm of its handler and had instinctively closed its talons. Despite a leather gauntlet, the guy’s forearm was so badly crushed that it was later amputated.
So does the hulking hooter get carbon credits for any humans it eats?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 14 at 07:28 PM • permalinkHmmm.
This is what an umbrella is for. Hear the soft flapping of wings and a faint “whoo whoo”?
Turn around and give that rat with wings a gold ol’ bash in the face.
Posted by memomachine on 2007 01 14 at 09:23 PM • permalinkIt’s a Lesser Spotted Wizard Delivery Owl.
Obviously it has missed the deadline for delivering a letter to some wizard and in a fit of bloodymindedness, it is trying to offload its mail on some unsuspecting person passing by.
Owl: “I’m going to offload this fucking broomstick on someone before the end of the day even if it kills me.
“Oi, you - I’ve got a delivery for you. Hang about, where are you going? Come back here you bastard, this thing weighs a tonne.
“How about that prick over there - you with the funny looking umbrella, just sign here and it’s yours. Where are you going? I’m not a Mormon. For Christ’s sake. Sod this for a joke.”
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 15 at 07:26 AM • permalink
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I heard a loud woo-woo noise
They’re attracted by trains.