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WOMAN ALLEGEDLY HIT; NO BIG DEAL

A fascinating PR strategy from Sydney lawyer Chris Murphy:

The lawyer for Matthew Newton today described assault charges against the entertainer as a “very minor matter” …

“Ninety people died in Iraq today, most of them kids,” Newton’s solicitor Chris Murphy told reporters outside. “This is a very minor matter.”

Relative to loss of life, Murphy’s fees are also a very minor matter. His clients should point this out after they decline to pay him.

(Via Pearcey and infidel tiger)

Posted by Tim B. on 01/16/2007 at 11:10 PM
  1. “Newton won a Logie award in 2002 . . .”

    Oh, is that how you spell it?

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 16 at 11:18 PM • permalink

  2. “entertainer”. Hmmm, thats a pretty loose term. A bit like ‘celebrity’.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 16 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  3. Well, from a newsworthy point of view, he’s right. From a trying-to-stop-my-client-from-going-to-jail point of view, it’s the worst defence I’ve ever heard of

    Posted by Matthew Lawrence on 2007 01 16 at 11:25 PM • permalink

  4. I guess the young woman’s fear as Matt allegedly beat and stalked her is also a “minor matter” to Chris Murphy.

    And just what have the tragic deaths of 90 people in Iraq today have to do with a case in a local court in NSW?  I’m surprised that Mr Murphy didn’t manage to draw John Howard into his argument.

    Posted by ann j on 2007 01 16 at 11:28 PM • permalink

  5. OT but also in the SMH - What will be Castro’s legacy?

    One commenter:

    He will be remembered as a strong person who stood up to the Americans and survived. Interesting Cuba is one of the most sought after places to visit this year.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 16 at 11:31 PM • permalink

  6. “Ninety people died in Iraq today, most of them kids,” Newton’s solicitor Chris Murphy told reporters outside. “This is a very minor matter.”

    There’s a word for people who use reasoning like this….oh, you know.

    Ah, I remember!  Stupid!!

    Posted by rinardman on 2007 01 16 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  7. Oh, well then.  Ms. Satchwell should just suck it up and realize that being smacked around is no big deal compared with the fate of the Children™ who were sent to Iraq.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 16 at 11:36 PM • permalink

  8. Re link at #5 brings to mind the quote of Jack Marx:

    I’ve worked at some of the most allegedly foolish periodicals in the nation - The Truth, Ralph, The Picture - but it’s only at Fairfax that I’ve received such stupid correspondence from readers.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 16 at 11:41 PM • permalink

  9. Reminds me of Lionel Hutz, “This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story”.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 16 at 11:41 PM • permalink

  10. O/T
    Huge wankfest on ABC Local (just finished) on, wait for it, gardening and having a waterless garden (try green concrete), and preserving plant species from global warming.

    ARRRGH

    Back on topic: Matthew Newton, I heard he’d disgraced himself but didn’t know what he’d done. Good he’s given Chris Murphy an opportunity to bring up Iraq.

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 16 at 11:44 PM • permalink

  11. I believe Mr Murphy is using The Chewbacca Defence.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 16 at 11:48 PM • permalink

  12. Dammit! The Nuremburg defence is no good to us in this one, let’s try the Baghdad defence!

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 16 at 11:51 PM • permalink

  13. Ahhh…........ Brooke Satchwell, if you are reading this and you need a place to stay then feel free to email me. No pressure.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 16 at 11:53 PM • permalink

  14. #10, I know the bloke (and his prices). You too can have a waterless non-global warmening garden for the eminently reasonable price of A$25,000.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 01 16 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  15. In my day we’d beat the shit out of one another, commit suicide, and that would be the end of it.

    Posted by Pig Head Sucker on 2007 01 17 at 12:10 AM • permalink

  16. I don’t care what that leftoid grub Murphy says, his client Matthew Newton, is a gutless no talent little worm and will forever carry the reputation as a women beater. I know if it were my daughter, by the time I was finished with him he would not even get a job as a voice over artist. Let the ‘celebrity’ (probably only got there because of Mummy and Daddy) fade into obscurity.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 17 at 12:14 AM • permalink

  17. Poor old Moonface must be rolling in his grave.
    What? He still alive…?
    Sure ‘bout dat?

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 17 at 12:35 AM • permalink

  18. Policeman: Sir, did you realise you were doing 78 in a 70 zone?

    Blandwagon: What? Did YOU realise that 90 people died in Iraq today? You’re worried about 8kph when BABIES were being blown up, probably by AMERICANS!?

    Policeman: I’m… I’m sorry, sir. I had no idea. I apologise for wasting your time.

    Blandwagon: Next time, please think of the children before pulling people over.

    Policeman: I… I will. Thank you, sir.

    Blandwagon: You’re welcome! (roars off with all the raw unfettered power of his mighty ‘94 Volkswagen Golf)

    Posted by blandwagon on 2007 01 17 at 12:42 AM • permalink

  19. Murphy’s previous clients have included the Bandidos motorcycle gang, a punchdrunk Sydney timepiece fancier who isn’t Paul Keating (his defence was reputed to be “I loves ‘em all, Your Honour”) and Bilal Khazal (terrorism charges).

    Boy’s case must be a tough one to make.

    Posted by C.L. on 2007 01 17 at 12:43 AM • permalink

  20. Matthew Newton, his father, Bert Newton looking alive, and not (he’s the puffy one on the right).

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 17 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  21. So, Mr. Murphy, how many free smacks on Australia’s womenfolk should this Newton fellow be allowed until the Bush/Blair/Howard occupation of Iraq is over?

    Posted by SoCalJustice on 2007 01 17 at 12:45 AM • permalink

  22. Slightly O/T,M/S Satchwell’s latest opus,“Dangerous”,debuted on FOX 8 last night.Reality TV it aint! It purports to tell the story of a gang of ATM ramraiders from South Western Sydney,the problem is with the exception of a doubtful token Leb and a token Asian the gang appear to be run by and for Skips.M/S Satchwell plays a press secretary working for a crime-fighting Government Minister (the mind boggles,this is NSW and Labor is in power).She has been given the task of getting the good-guts on these ramraider blokes and starts off by wandering around Haldon St.Lakemba asking likely looking lads where she can find the ramraiders,amazingly she isn’t bashed,stabbed,shot or raped and is finally taken pity on by a Social Worker who directs her to Ali’s Cafe.After this unpromising start it just goes downhill and there are another seven episodes to go.The highlight for me was two appearances by the fattest lady Copper I’ve ever seen on the screen or in the flesh and that includes Commissionerette Christine Nixon.

    Posted by Lew on 2007 01 17 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  23. Blandwagon:

    roars off with all the raw unfettered power of his mighty ‘94 Volkswagen Go

    I understand that. I used to have a Daihatsu Charade. 998 cubic centimetres of screaming power.

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 17 at 12:46 AM • permalink

  24. I’m going to try this one on my boss next time he complains about my blogging all day…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 01 17 at 12:53 AM • permalink

  25. Mr Murphy, would it also be a minor matter if it were you that was assaulted? god knows you’re in need of decent bitch slappin

    Posted by larrikin on 2007 01 17 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  26. # 23 - welcome back kae!

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 01 17 at 01:03 AM • permalink

  27. Ninety people died in Iraq today. I presume he means by violence and not natural causes. If so, this represents a significant decrease in the number of daily violent deaths and this good news should be reported to Lancet ASAP. The paper they published gives 100000 such mortalities between March 2003 and September 2004 amounting to an average of about 200 per day.

    But then again, maybe there will be 310 tomorrow…statistics…(sigh)

    Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 01 17 at 01:07 AM • permalink

  28. But the defence has so much promise. Bush could argue that “somewhere in the universe, a star went supernova today, and quite possibly a planet nearby was swallowed up. In the scheme of things, 90 dead Iraqis is a very minor matter.”

    Posted by Behemoth on 2007 01 17 at 01:18 AM • permalink

  29. Small potatoes maybe when compared to defending some of the stuff his hit-men friends and the like get up to. Chris’s take on behaviour standards is as out of step as Big Al Hilaly..

    Posted by Henry boy on 2007 01 17 at 01:42 AM • permalink

  30. Will we now see Steven Chaytor, the western Sydney ALP MP charged with bashing his girlfriend, use this defence?

    Posted by mr magoo on 2007 01 17 at 01:55 AM • permalink

  31. #30 not if he’s innocent…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 01 17 at 02:00 AM • permalink

  32. “Ninety people died in Iraq today, most of them kids,” Newton’s solicitor Chris Murphy told reporters outside. “This is a very minor matter.”
    Pfft 90 people a day, who cares millions were killed in the holocaust.

    Posted by Mattofact on 2007 01 17 at 02:11 AM • permalink

  33. #16

    if it were my daughter, by the time I was finished with him he would not even get a job as a voice over artist.

    As a sometime voiceover artist myself, you’re utterly wrong BJM. There’s actually quite a market for novelty voices and I’m sure a permanent falsetto would be in demand.

    Let the ‘celebrity’ (probably only got there because of Mummy and Daddy) fade into obscurity.

    You’re speaking of a country which spends money on a series which offers a ground-breaking, hard-hitting, in-depth expose of the way a bunch of third rate celebritiesnever-beens train their dogs.

    #13 Sorry Penguin, since Maria Sharapova didn’t take up my offer of shelter from warring Serbs and Croatians, by rights I have first dibs on stray actresses. It’s in the Local Government Act (and if you’re going to read it just to prove me wrong, then god knows you deserve to win).

    Posted by RexW on 2007 01 17 at 03:15 AM • permalink

  34. So, is the number of deaths in Canada this last week sufficiently high for me to skip paying my utilities bill this month?

    That’s how that’s supposed to work, aint it?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 01 17 at 03:29 AM • permalink

  35. Brooke Satchwell has magnificent breasts.

    Why are their never any good news stories on TV?

    Posted by Hump B Bare on 2007 01 17 at 03:38 AM • permalink

  36. O/T

    I’ve just got home and emptied my letter box. I have a question.

    WTF has happened to The Bulletin?

    Jimmy Barnes and the Veronicas?

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 17 at 03:45 AM • permalink

  37. #33 RexW.
    I had to smile. Of course you are correct. Just how many, really talented people, we the consumers, are missing out on, because of the “old boy network” or nepotism. I hope the usual offenders in the MSM do not do a PR job on this thug, just to get him back up there. My 12 and 14 year old girls have been worded up on this moron, just to cover the effect of certain media outlets, shoving him on mobile phone commercials etc. We have alot more talented people, who need the work, without this coward getting a look in.
    One more point, I resent, paying for Foxtel, to watch a third rate comedy with this idiot in it (Stupid Stupid Men), the femonazis would have a fit if it were titled ‘Stupid Stupid Women’. And tonight we have two lots of this replacing Seinfeld. Repeats,(Seinfeld) they maybe, but they are better scripted. Go Larry David.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 17 at 03:49 AM • permalink

  38. ‘Pugnacious Sydney solicitor Chris Murphy, who once sported VERBAL vehicle number plates and raced greyhounds Constable Plod and Oink Oink, has been held during a confrontation with police.’(SMH 11/6/85) 

    he had a bingle back in June ‘05 and chose to live up to his numberplate by abusing the cops on the scene.

    as for newton jr.- celebrities are bad enough- their no talent kids are worse.

    child labour laws should be extended to cover all children of celebrities no matter how old they are.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 17 at 03:58 AM • permalink

  39. sorry i laned that one-(SMH 11/6/05)

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 17 at 04:13 AM • permalink

  40. #38 Thanks eeniemeenie, more information comes to light about this wannabe for pre-selection in what ever political party that will have him (note; the ballader Garrett for the ALP). When the public get bored with his antics, the taxpayer will pick up the slack.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 17 at 04:32 AM • permalink

  41. He has a point. Why is this news?

    Posted by hayesy on 2007 01 17 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  42. I’d just like to say that Chris Murphy is hereby expelled from the clan.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 17 at 06:47 AM • permalink

  43. It’s news because talentless “celebrity” suckholes like Matthew Newton and his dickhead family have shoved themselves down the nation’s throats for the past 40 years.

    Posted by murph on 2007 01 17 at 06:49 AM • permalink

  44. All lawyers go to hell in the end. It comes with the territory. Like crippled knees for tilers past fifty. No big deal.

    But in lawyers’ hell there is a place reserved for lawyers who did not know when to shut their mouths. And in the hottest spot of that reserved place there is a special room. That room is kept for the lawyers who could not resist a smartarse soundbite for the benefit of the cameras and microphones outside the court. At the expense of their clients.

    Chris Murphy has the keys to that room.

    Posted by geoff on 2007 01 17 at 07:26 AM • permalink

  45. Ramsey Clark has a matching key chain.

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 17 at 07:48 AM • permalink

  46. #43. Well, this situation of third rate talent, and script writing (with one or two exceptions) would best be blamed on the Federal Labor Government’s sop to the “Yartz” community in the early nineteen eighties, by introducing the ‘compulsory local content’ legislation. But they get by it, by stealing from New Zealand, and calling it their own. Cheap production values, without breaching Federal Broadcasting legislation. As previously posted, I resent paying my Foxtel bill, only to see the local crap content, to satisfy, the prejudices of the “Yartz” community. The Brits and the Yanks do it a lot better anyway, which makes putting up with “3” swarmy tout advertisments for mobile phones, at least tolerable. That is why the Australian public has to put up with forty years of the Newton mob, long after Don Lane left with dignity, a more talented performer anyway.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 17 at 07:49 AM • permalink

  47. AFAIK, while flamboyant, Murphy is a top criminal solicitor and so Newton must need one ...

    A Lefty hook?
    How many Newtons of force?
    How bright is the new girlfriend?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 17 at 08:07 AM • permalink

  48. How bright is the new girlfriend?

    I believe she’s nineteen years old.

    Posted by JAFA on 2007 01 17 at 02:27 PM • permalink

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