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WHAT IS KINKO?

Kofi Annan is alarmed to learn of a rival warlord:

When asked by a staffer if U.N. jobs will be farmed out to Kinko’s from now on, Mr. Annan showed how out of touch he has become from his underlings and from his fellow New Yorkers. “What is Kinko?” he asked.

Bring this Kinko to Kofi! Kofi destroy Kinko!

(Via Tom Pechinski)

Posted by Tim B. on 03/09/2006 at 02:52 AM
  1. Kinko! More Kinko!

    Posted by Scott W on 2006 03 09 at 03:02 AM • permalink

  2. Excuse my ignorance but what is ‘kinko’ anyway?

    Posted by DropDeadUgly on 2006 03 09 at 03:07 AM • permalink

  3. It is a worldwide organisation dedicated to the production and distribution of printed materials for the betterment of humankind, and to the enabling of all peoples to access said production and distribution without fear or favour.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 09 at 03:20 AM • permalink

  4. Michael Jackson is Kinko. And Whacko!

    Posted by splice on 2006 03 09 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  5. Kinkos played a key role in Dan Rather’s take down.  Well, Kinkos was involved, and not by choice, but they were involved.  But is Kinkos an ill omen for Kofi as well? 

    One can hope….....

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 09 at 03:35 AM • permalink

  6. Kinko is also a clown:

    Kinko, Kinko, the kid loving clown, if the kids just love me back, I’ll never wear a frown. Kinko’s in his kinko car, pockets full of change, lots of dirty pictures and sticky candycanes. All the kids love Kinko for the presents that they get, silly leather clothes to wear and happy cigarettes.”

    Posted by Nic on 2006 03 09 at 03:39 AM • permalink

  7. #3 That would be the gubernatorial candidate from the Great State of Texas, Kinko Friedman.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 03 09 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  8. Nic, you bastard, you beat me to it.

    Is Dr. Demento still around?

    “Hey, kids, let’s go in Kinko’s crawlspace.”


    Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown,
    The parents want to beat me up and run me out of town…

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 03 09 at 04:07 AM • permalink

  9. What other functions can the U.N. delegate and to whom?

    Confilct resolution to Relationships Australia?

    Posted by gubbaboy on 2006 03 09 at 04:19 AM • permalink

  10. I remember Kinko’s Copies in Harvard Square, MA

    Posted by Voyager on 2006 03 09 at 04:25 AM • permalink

  11. Just goes to show that Kofi didnt get the U.N gig on merit - he got it because he was black -
    Hello ‘Token’!

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 03 09 at 05:02 AM • permalink

  12. Other words alien to Kofi:

    MacDonald’s
    Democracy
    Brittany Spears.
    Pizza
    Honest Government.
    Tourist Class

    Posted by perfectsense on 2006 03 09 at 06:42 AM • permalink

  13. The UN is full of kinkos. That is its problem.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2006 03 09 at 07:05 AM • permalink

  14. That’s Pinkos (they either wave a red flag or a white flag)

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 03 09 at 07:38 AM • permalink

  15. Here are the lyrics, the dashes are speaking parts:


    Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
    if the kids just love me back I’ll never wear a frown
    Kinko, Kinko, the kid loving clown
    if the kids just love me back I’ll never wear a frown!!!

    Kinko’s in his Kinko car, pockets full of change
    lots of dirty pictures and sticky candy canes.
    All the kids love Kinko for the presents that they get
    silly leather clothes to wear and happy cigaretts.

    -Hi boys and girls, my name is Kinko the clown!!!
    -Hi Kinko!!!
    -And I really love you boys and girls!!!
    Really, really….
    -Awwww
    -But my legs get tired standing out in the parking lot handing out
    stale tootsie rolls to you rugrats, so if anyone wants to come back
    to Kinko’s trailer and massage his legs, he’d really really like it.
    Really, really…..

    Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
    if the kids just love me back I’ll never wear a frown
    Kinko, Kinko, the kid loving clown
    if the kids just love me back I’ll never wear a frown!!!

    We go to Kinkos clubhouse, sometimes after school
    we play in Kinkos crawl space, there’s never any room
    We have to sit on Kinkos lap there’s never any chairs
    Kinko likes to tickle us and give us funny stares.

    -Gee I haven’t had this much fun since Christmas when I got
    to play Santa Clause and all the boys and girls got to sit on Kinko’s lap-
    -Mommy mommy! Kinko hurt me!-
    -But that was in Indianapolis and thanks to the liberal reciprocity laws here
    Kinko can be with you boys and girls today or anytime.

    Jimmy Johnson ran away and didn’t say goodbuy
    Kinko went to look for him to help the FBI
    But Kinko has some handcuffs on his eyes were full of tears
    said “I’ll be back to play with you sometime in 20 years!”

    Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
    the parents wanna beat me up and run me outa town!
    Kinko, Kinko, the kid-loving clown
    tar and feather Kinko and run him out of town!

    -Bye boy’s and girls!!!!
    -Bye Kinko! See you at the turn of the century!
    -Kinko really love you boys and girls!!
    Really, really….

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 03 09 at 08:06 AM • permalink

  16. Hmm.  Maybe we should make Kinky Friedman Secretary General of the UN rather than Governor of Texas.

    That wouldn’t be comedy gold.  That would be comedy platinum.

    Posted by R C Dean on 2006 03 09 at 10:02 AM • permalink

  17. With the way the UN has been going, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kinko was also the under-aged love slave of some United Nations bigshot.

    Posted by PW on 2006 03 09 at 10:18 AM • permalink

  18. The printing/copying store chain in question is actually called FedEx Kinko’s now. (FedEx bought Kinko’s two years ago.) But I’ll bet that Annan doesn’t know who FedEx is either.

    Posted by sundog on 2006 03 09 at 12:07 PM • permalink

  19. They could probably outsource the entire UN to Kinko’s and get a much more efficient operation.  Kofi would have to be let go, though, unless he takes up a new skill, like janitorial services.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 03 09 at 01:38 PM • permalink

  20. Kinkos played a key role in Dan Rather’s take down.

    Not only that, but…

    Federal authorities believe that some of the 19 hijackers involved in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks were using computers in all-night Kinko’s stores and cybercafes in South Florida to coordinate their activities in the weeks before the assaults.  Link

    The omen gets ill-er.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 09 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  21. @19 funny….

    Or the United Kinky Nations.

    Speaking of Kinky, here’s a Jesus Cartoon.

    The University of Saskatchewan student newspaper, The Sheaf, has published a cartoon depicting Jesus performing oral sex on a pig with the caption reading, “Go on, it’s ok, it’s kosher if you don’t swallow”.

    The decision to publish the outrageously offensive “Capitalist Piglet” cartoon comes after the same newspaper refused to print the cartoons mocking Mohammed out of respect for Islam.


    http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2006/mar/06030604.html

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 03 09 at 06:31 PM • permalink

  22. But I’ll bet that Annan doesn’t know who FedEx is either.

    Sure he does, that’s the company that delivered his most recent suitcase full of UAE money.

    Posted by PW on 2006 03 09 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  23. #21:

    In keeping with the theme of this thread: What is Saskatchewan?

    Posted by PW on 2006 03 09 at 07:12 PM • permalink

  24. mm..Saskatchewan is a Canadian prairie province.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 03 09 at 09:46 PM • permalink

  25. So I guess the paper printed a “Saskatoon”?

    (I kill myself, I really do…..)

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 09 at 10:28 PM • permalink

  26. Hint: what’s the capital of Saskatchewan?

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 10 at 12:24 AM • permalink

  27. 25: LOL,

    26: Er - Regina

    Posted by rml on 2006 03 10 at 01:21 AM • permalink

  28. My bad.

    At least the joke still works.

    Criminy, you’d think I’d of remembered that that—hitched through Regina (rhymes with “mulva”) in the ‘70s and lost a pair of fur lined gloves in late November….brrrrr.

    Been to Saskatoon as well saw the Aurora Borealis.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 10 at 01:41 AM • permalink

  29. U.N. Staff are revolting…
    against Kofi and his wish to “outsource”.

    Posted by crash on 2006 03 10 at 11:29 AM • permalink

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