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WEEKEND QUIZ

Guess the source of this doomstruck Gaian fantasy:

Southern Britain is drowning. Torrential rain has been hammering down for days, floodwaters saturate road networks and BBC News 24 is back-to-backing footage of families being airlifted from their homes. It feels like the end of the world, an apocalyptic payback for all those pillaged oil reserves and raped rainforests and X5s parked at school gates when our obese children could have staggered home.

And perhaps it is. Maybe Al Gore’s worst case scenario isn’t so far from the inconvenient truth; that we really are deep into a vicious cycle of melting ice caps and brooding, vengeful weather systems. Maybe there’s already no way back ...

Google won’t help you; this was a print-only deal. Commence guessing. Answer in a few hours.

ANSWER: It’s the introduction to a lavish 13-page Ben Barry piece in the October edition of Britain’s CAR magazine, comparing a £94,280 Porsche with a £152,000 Lamborghini. Coverline: “HARDCORE LAMBO & 911 GT3 RS. Head-to-head.”

I used to read CAR quite often. Not so much these days.

Posted by Tim B. on 09/29/2007 at 01:36 PM
  1. I’ll put money on Hurricane Wolcott!

    I love the bit about pillaged oil reserves, as if the planet needs the oil to stay underground in order to keep the gears of the biosphere well-lubricated.

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 09 29 at 02:13 PM • permalink

  2. Bin Laden?

    Posted by Clubbeaux on 2007 09 29 at 02:13 PM • permalink

  3. Hysterical, overwrought, and exaggerated? Fisk.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 09 29 at 02:15 PM • permalink

  4. The Venerable Bede ?  Sam’l. Pepys ?

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 09 29 at 02:21 PM • permalink

  5. I agree with Dave S. Sounds like Fisk.

    Posted by paco on 2007 09 29 at 02:25 PM • permalink

  6. Fisk. But perhaps The Times or the BBC.

    Posted by McAnzac on 2007 09 29 at 02:26 PM • permalink

  7. Hang on. It might be Moonbat. Yeah, or Wolcott.

    Or the Archbishop of Canterbury?

    Posted by McAnzac on 2007 09 29 at 02:28 PM • permalink

  8. Overwrought and hyperbolic imagery with raping and pillaging? Certainly does read like Fisk’s work.

    I’m going to go out on a limb and nominate another wingnutted moonbat. Liz’s #1 son, Prince Charles, future ruler of Englandistan.

    Posted by CB on 2007 09 29 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  9. You’ve pirated the new novel by J.K. Rowling!
    A fantasy tour de force.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 09 29 at 02:44 PM • permalink

  10. Some sick, dumb, demented moonbat fuckwad. Who has no children. And probably hasn’t had sex since the Clinton administration.

    Posted by Latino on 2007 09 29 at 02:47 PM • permalink

  11. #10 Your talking about Bill Clinton here, aren’t you?

    Posted by CB on 2007 09 29 at 03:02 PM • permalink

  12. #11 It sure ain’t Hillary Clinton.  She probably hasn’t had sex since the Reagan administration.  Or was it the Carter administration.

    Posted by David Crawford on 2007 09 29 at 03:40 PM • permalink

  13. This is an addendum to the IFCC report. 

    It’s interesting how atheists can describe an impersonal force like the weather as brooding and vengeful.  I guess everyone believes in something.

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 09 29 at 03:58 PM • permalink

  14. Mr. Slippyfist?

    Posted by docweasel on 2007 09 29 at 03:58 PM • permalink

  15. “X5s parked at school gates when our obese children could have staggered home.”
    BwaHaha!
    It just gets better. And we’re called “Denialists” as if that’s a bad thing.

    Posted by Observer on 2007 09 29 at 03:59 PM • permalink

  16. I vote for Moonbat Monbiot.  Wolcott would having multiple orgasms over the plight of the humans.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 09 29 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  17. Wolcott’s a good guess. The writing’s a little too lucid for Fisk and, besides, this sounds like a Londoner and doesn’t Fisk hang his hat elsewhere? How ‘bout John Pilger?

    OT—want some good news (really, really good news maybe) for a change? A Quiet Triumph May be Brewing. Enjoy.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 09 29 at 04:30 PM • permalink

  18. It’s hysterical, overwrought and extremely silly, but it is reasonably well written.

    Is it Germaine Greer?

    Posted by Ross on 2007 09 29 at 04:31 PM • permalink

  19. Yes, I know: “What, O/T again, Paco?”

    But I don’t think you’ll mind. Huzzah! for a Digger victory.

    Posted by paco on 2007 09 29 at 04:32 PM • permalink

  20. I see the next thread’s about Pilger and Fisk, so I’m betting it isn’t either of them. Although Moonbat’s a good choice, didn’t he already decide that it was the end of the world?

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 09 29 at 04:34 PM • permalink

  21. Well, it can’t be Galloway; he’s never had anything against pillaged oil reserves. How about Flannery?

    Posted by paco on 2007 09 29 at 04:38 PM • permalink

  22. Sounds like Monbiot to me. What’s my prize?

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 09 29 at 04:44 PM • permalink

  23. I’ll go with The Queen of Global Hysteria Monbiot.

    See, that’s what happens when southern Britain doesn’t maintain its levees and they bre… er… never mind.

    Although… are they raping and eating each other in the shelters yet?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 09 29 at 04:57 PM • permalink

  24. #8, CB,

    You beat me to it; I was going to say Prince Charles.  He’s as big a nutter as all the rest mentioned here.  I don’t know if he can write, however.

    Kyda, thanks for the link.  I hope it is all true.

    Good on ya, diggers.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 09 29 at 04:58 PM • permalink

  25. Perhaps it’s not someone normally associated with gerbil warfing such as Jeremy Clarkson.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 09 29 at 05:22 PM • permalink

  26. It’s interesting how atheists can describe an impersonal force like the weather as brooding and vengeful. 

    It’s called animism. The most primitive religion.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 09 29 at 05:33 PM • permalink

  27. In fact, I think I’ll just call the more Gaia-invoking global warmenistas “animists” now. Call a spade a spade.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 09 29 at 05:34 PM • permalink

  28. #19
    Video of this incident here:
    Diggers defeat Taliban in heavy fighting.

    Posted by CO² max on 2007 09 29 at 05:44 PM • permalink

  29. Whoever he is, he needs a drink. Stat!!

    Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2007 09 29 at 05:50 PM • permalink

  30. It’s obviously a lost prophecy from the book of El Lune Batte, the actual author of the Nostradamus predictions who was written out of history because she was a deaf black chainsaw-wielding lesbian.

    The great Batte, second only to Agnes Nutter in stunning accuracy, unfortunately had her second sight trained on a television playing The Day After Tomorrow. Ah well, even Homer nods.

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 09 29 at 06:02 PM • permalink

  31. #18, My first thoughts too. Germ Angrier.

    Posted by Toosmoky on 2007 09 29 at 06:08 PM • permalink

  32. It could be the Algore citing himself.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 09 29 at 06:12 PM • permalink

  33. #13 Mystery Meat

    It’s interesting how atheists can describe an impersonal force like the weather as brooding and vengeful. I guess everyone believes in something.


    You’re right. I believe I’ll have another drink.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 09 29 at 06:15 PM • permalink

  34. The English PM?

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 09 29 at 06:21 PM • permalink

  35. I read on another blog an opinion that the gerbil warmenistas have, over the last year or so, become even more shrill and doomsaying, an opinion I agree with.  Why would this be, do you think?

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 09 29 at 06:23 PM • permalink

  36. Whoever wrote that is obviously unhinged.
    Pass me the envelope, and the unhinged contenders are:

    Germs Greer
    Robert Hughes
    David Suzuki
    Ken Livingstone

    ... and the award goes to Mad ‘Red Ken’ Livingstone, the unhinged Mayor of London.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 09 29 at 06:26 PM • permalink

  37. #8 and #24 CB and Salty,

    I’ll take a piece of that.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 09 29 at 06:34 PM • permalink

  38. Gordon Brown?

    Posted by ann j on 2007 09 29 at 06:38 PM • permalink

  39. Gordon Ramsay from Kitchen Nightmares?

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 09 29 at 06:43 PM • permalink

  40. O/T’ish. For those not aware, the link at #17 corresponds to the increased levels of Taliban action seen at #19. The lowlands around the southern provinces (Helmland,Oruzgan) are where the Taliban ‘s last tangible source of cash is. Opium poppy plantations. These are being systematically destroyed by coalition forces, the reason that the Taliban is now attacking with greater desperation than before. It’s not safe anywhere for a jihadi now, all their regular supporters have sold them out or are being pressured with annihilation. No thanks to our progressive ‘enlightened’ brethren amongst us.

    Posted by CB on 2007 09 29 at 06:43 PM • permalink

  41. The French?

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 09 29 at 06:43 PM • permalink

  42. Vladimir Putin’s third daughter, Rutin Tutin Putin.  Final answer.

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 09 29 at 06:45 PM • permalink

  43. I’d go with #18, Ms Greer.

    Although I have a horrible, horrible suspicion it could be David Cameron, leader of the Conservative party in the UK.

    Posted by Kobaal on 2007 09 29 at 06:50 PM • permalink

  44. Actually no, it couldn’t be Cameron. Even he wouldn’t talk about obese kids waddling home from school. That’s much more Greer’s style.

    Posted by Kobaal on 2007 09 29 at 06:51 PM • permalink

  45. I’ll see that David Cameron and raise a pair of celebs, David Attenborough and Nobbo   Bono

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 09 29 at 07:00 PM • permalink

  46. Deductions:

    *It’s from someone experienceing “torrential rain in the UK

    * the most recent torrential rains in the UK were in June/July this year.

    At around that time, a bunch of nutter bishops (including the Bishop of London) in the UK said the floods were judgement from God, for, amongst other things, the support of “gay rights”

    I have a horrible feeling this is from the Archbishop of Canterbury. The top theologian in the UK.

    Posted by wanglese on 2007 09 29 at 07:03 PM • permalink

  47. I’m guessing Monbiot. I’m assuming it’s a UK moonbat because it’s about the UK, Wolcott is U.S.

    Posted by Amos on 2007 09 29 at 07:20 PM • permalink

  48. Germaine Greer is a clever call, but she wouldn’t refer to “our” obese children.  The author manages to write two consecutive sentences without talking about herself, so I rule out Germaine.

    Anything there about second-hand Renaults?

    Posted by cuckoo on 2007 09 29 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  49. I blame wronwright.

    Its actually a verbatim transcription from an ancient text printed on a sumerian mead jar.
    Sort of an in joke, most pottery makers left a mark, wron got the poor potters to print out a whole article, it wont bewritten till well into the future when scientists have the bold idea of actually creating a media hive mind. (cutting out the middleman)
    They combined all of the above mentioned allong with dan rather, and a portion of every daily kos poster.
    It wasnt pretty.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 09 29 at 07:31 PM • permalink

  50. Southern Britain is drowning. Torrential rain has been hammering down for days, floodwaters saturate road networks and BBC News 24 is back-to-backing footage of families being airlifted from their homes. It feels like the end of the world ...

    Look, all I’m saying is Michael Lonie is running the orbital weather machine, not me.  And maybe that wasn’t a sound decision by Karl.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 29 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  51. Like #18 I’m also going for Germaine Greer.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 09 29 at 07:34 PM • permalink

  52. Lakemba?

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 09 29 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  53. The morning weatherman on BBC 2, trying to one-up his global-warmening denialist colleague on BBC 1?

    Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 09 29 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  54. Tex, I never listen to the BBC -are you trying to tell me they actually EMPLOY a denialist?

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 09 29 at 07:47 PM • permalink

  55. Whoever it is has a career as the next Stephen King. I wonder what they’ll use for a background musical score?

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 09 29 at 07:54 PM • permalink

  56. I’ll have the Ben-ster’s job if he doesn’t want it.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 09 29 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  57. I’m leaning towards the Greer camp as this has a definite feminine hand (I know, I know), but can’t help feeling she have included something like: It feels like the end of the world, an apocalyptic payback for all those pillaged oil reserves and raped rainforests and X5s parked at school gates when our obese children could have staggered home and the feminized women who castrated themselves on the alter of marriage, family and monogamy.

    #40—No thanks to our progressive ‘enlightened’ brethren amongst us.

    The Mideastern skies could be full of nothing more menacing than childrens’ kites, all the troops could be home and Iraq and Afghanistan could be the very models of democratic and economic stability and they still would be bitching about no WMDs, illegal wars, quagmires and Abu Grab while reminding us yet again that Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9-11. They better Impeach Bush Now because after the surge and current actions in Southern Afghanistan prove successful, it will be too late.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 09 29 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  58. I always admire contortionists:

    ...and BBC News 24 is back-to-backing footage ...

    In modern parlence, clearly someone is inputing when they are accessing their output port.  In old fashioned speak, they have their foot in their mouth and their head up their arse.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 09 29 at 08:07 PM • permalink

  59. Well, the answer revealed as I was doing the above. Never would have gone there, but we should have guessed it would be something to do with cars. Why is it anymore that everybody from sports writers to food critics to movie reviewers to fashion columnists assumes we’re interested in their lame political commentary. Everybody, it seems, wants to be a pundit.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 09 29 at 08:17 PM • permalink

  60. Tim, this writing is obviously a piece of crap. The word rape suggests a feminist hand (or ... but we won’t go there)

    I am inclined to Kyda’s view of a Greerist, but then, generally after work, I am inclined. The hysteria fits but the rhetorical maybes are a bit too sophisticated for Germains.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 09 29 at 08:18 PM • permalink

  61. ANSWER: It’s the introduction to a lavish 13-page Ben Barry piece in the October edition of Britain’s CAR magazine, comparing a £94,280 Porsche with a £152,000 Lamborghini. Coverline: “HARDCORE LAMBO & 911 GT3 RS. Head-to-head.”

    Sure.  That’s what they want you to think.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 09 29 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  62. I am taking the prize for being nearest the pin with my answer at #25.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 09 29 at 08:24 PM • permalink

  63. Sheesh…no one could have guessed that….talk about a non-sequiter.

    Posted by debi L. on 2007 09 29 at 08:29 PM • permalink

  64. #26 DaevS, so true.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 09 29 at 08:30 PM • permalink

  65. Odd that this Barry guy isn’t penitently reviewing kayaks, which are obviously the wave of the future in the permanently-flooded countryside of Gaia’s Official Whipping Boy, England.

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 09 29 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  66. #57 I posted #60 before your #57 showed up ... so gthe “hand” reference is my Intellectual Property OK,. so KEEP OFF :^)

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 09 29 at 08:34 PM • permalink

  67. So it was a guy talking about cars, supposedly.  The feminization of the Western male is further along than I knew.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 09 29 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  68. John Cadogan in this months Wheels Magazine trots out a very similar turgid, breathless ‘world is doomed’ scientific consensus says so spiel.
    I’d suggest you stop testing cars for a living John, the dichotomy of burning hydrocarbons whilst at the same opposing their use must be internally destructive. Quit whilst your behind, and go work for the ABC. You’ll fit right in.

    Posted by CB on 2007 09 29 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  69. I read on another blog an opinion that the gerbil warmenistas have, over the last year or so, become even more shrill and doomsaying, an opinion I agree with.  Why would this be, do you think?

    Because acolytes always turn up the fanaticism when they see their religions getting killed by facts.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 09 29 at 09:33 PM • permalink

  70. #68
    In the infotainment biz they must only strive to do better for Gaia whilst burning mega hydrocarbons.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 09 29 at 09:55 PM • permalink

  71. With the EU and the UN both straight-jacketing the western countries with Political Correctnes and moonbattery, this sort of narrative will eventually find its way into commentary on everything you can buy, or people you might vote for.
    The same people who write this crud are likely to spout the other stuff too: “it’s wrong to wage war, but you can’t blame those jihadi/insurgent/hezboes for using weapons/bombs/AK47s/violence when they get mad at you.”
    We are being white-anted. As with Churchills best efforts in the 1930s, nobody wants to recognise where the real threats are, and those who do are without honour in their own countries.
    Bruce Thornton has a very scary article on how free speech is already being negated in the EU, with benefits not to the good citizens of EU countries, but to interlopers with attitude.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 09 29 at 09:57 PM • permalink

  72. This misinformed gearhead’s opinion on global warming is of no greater validity than the opinion of the worst Vice President in history. Stick to cars, Ben; leave the warmaganda to the professionals.

    Posted by paco on 2007 09 29 at 10:07 PM • permalink

  73. Paco, Clinton version 1 brought Al Gore with him into the White House. Does it give you shivers to think what Clinton version 2 could bring with her into the White House if she was to *shudder* become President?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 09 29 at 10:46 PM • permalink

  74. I guess there will soon be similar articles appearing in magazines devoted to private jets.  Algore, rockstars and Democrat presidential candidates would not only subscribe, they’d contribute the apocalyptic gerbil warming articles with bon mots about their current favourite method of offsetting their carbon emissions including flatulence.

    Posted by Ubique on 2007 09 29 at 11:11 PM • permalink

  75. Only a car magazine journalist would use back-to-backing as a verb.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 09 29 at 11:56 PM • permalink

  76. blogstrop
    Good article.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 09 30 at 12:15 AM • permalink

  77. I was so close to saying it’s from a CAR magazine, not American, possibly British.  I really was.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 09 30 at 03:11 AM • permalink

  78. I believe you Wronwright.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 09 30 at 03:59 AM • permalink

  79. Ben is saying, watch out for Lambos and Porsches. They’re going to go Christine on us for our rape of the pristine oil fields.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 09 30 at 04:52 AM • permalink

  80. Global warming means slick roads.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 09 30 at 06:33 AM • permalink

  81. How short British memories have become. Part of the Southeast of England are the Fens, a low, marshy area (now mostly drained). Here’s a web site with a bit of history. They used to always get flooded and I believe are still vulnerable to floods. In fact, just this weekend (in between trying to get my “new” car home from North Carolina), I read Dorothy Sayers’ The Nine Tailors, a Lord Peter Wimsey mystery set in the Fens area. The story climaxes with a big flood caused by a dam breaking under the stress of a storm. The story was written some time in the 1920s.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 09 30 at 05:49 PM • permalink

  82. brooding, vengeful weather systems?

    Does he order that purple ink in boxcar lots, do ya think?

    Posted by mojo on 2007 09 30 at 09:57 PM • permalink

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