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WEEKEND OF STOMP

I will soon set forth to parts unknown aboard a Volvo XC90, an unusual V8-powered Swedish SUV. Hopefully it’ll eat massive slabs of environment so I can properly celebrate no environmental footprint weekend:

We’ve all heard about global warming and most of us have now experienced the first effects of climate change. There’s no longer any argument to the cause - the human burning of fossil fuels to create energy is emitting copious amounts of greenhouse gases …

This is an invitation to stop consuming energy for two days and to think about it. It’s also about the joys of getting back to basics and finding out what you can do when you’re not using power. Hey, you might even find yourself spending more time with family and friends. Crazy, huh?

On Friday December 8 at 8pm, turn off your house electricity. Switch off your gas hot water heater. Put your car keys away. Switch off your mobile and any other battery-powered devices, and unplug your landline phones. Don’t step foot into any powered site, shop, house or building. You can, however, use public transport, buy ice and use beeswax or soy candles, which aren’t made from petroleum.

If you’re working that weekend, see if your employer will join The Big Switch Off.

As Andrew Bolt points out, employers who join the Big Switch Off will have no work for their employees. Please offer in comments your own plans for this weekend’s environmental footprintism.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/06/2006 at 10:33 AM
  1. I’m rendering Minke whales for their oil so I can read my collection of papyrus Tom Clancy novels.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 12 06 at 10:41 AM • permalink

  2. Not this weekend but next I plan to be repeatedly pulled up a hill in a country powered 80% by nukes in order to enjoy going back down again.  To get there I will be using cheap air-travel.  Apologies for using “public” transport to get to the Airport.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 12 06 at 10:47 AM • permalink

  3. I will drive to the mall—by myself—and do some Christmas shopping. Bwahahaha!  Consume carbons and support the consumerist mindset.

    Don’t consume energy?  Do these dolts not realize that their food was produced with energy?  Or are they planning on fasting as well; that actually would fit in with the eco-religious mindset some of them have.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2006 12 06 at 10:47 AM • permalink

  4. I’ll join in only if I can figure out a way to keep myself at 37C without consuming energy. Someone’s going to have to be around here on Monday to deal with the frozen pipes.

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 12 06 at 10:50 AM • permalink

  5. If all goes well, I’ll be boarding a Gaia molesting wide-body aircraft, plowing a carbon laden path through the skies of Iraq all the way back to Germany.  Once there, we’ll climb aboard a diesel powered carbon generator bus and spew fumes down the autobahn all the way home. And after I get home, I’ll crank up the heat, turn on every light in the house, turn up the stereo AND TV, and leave the back door open while cooking some big juicy steaks on the grill. Hey, does burning propane count? If so, you can throw that into the total.  All in all, I plan on about a 5 year carbon credit deficit earned in less than 3 days!

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 12 06 at 10:57 AM • permalink

  6. Turning off the lights and using candles instead will result in just how many house fires releasing CO2 into the atmosphere?

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 06 at 10:58 AM • permalink

  7. Your employer might not wish to join the big Switch Off, but they may wish to include you in the big ‘You’re Fired, Asshole’.

    Posted by Amos on 2006 12 06 at 10:58 AM • permalink

  8. And the reason why using public transport is acceptable is?  Is flying a governmental airline OK? Shouldn’t you have to walk or bike?

    I’m flying 11,000 KM in two weeks, so I’m glad somebody is compensating for my immorality.  (On the other hand, where I’m going is sometimes -40, so I’m doing my part to try to warm things up there.)

    Posted by kpom on 2006 12 06 at 11:04 AM • permalink

  9. Global warming is caused by hairballs, not footprints.

    It’s no wonder, with the songbird explosion powering these creatures, that the temperature has gone up.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 12 06 at 11:05 AM • permalink

  10. They shouldn’t be drinking any water, either.  Large amounts of energy are produced while making water fit for consumption, and if they’re the kind of weenies who get their water in plastic bottles it’s even worse.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 12 06 at 11:16 AM • permalink

  11. You can’t out-irony something as intrinsically and deeply stupid as this concept. We are becoming dumber by the minute. I weep for my country.

    Posted by boxofmatches on 2006 12 06 at 11:17 AM • permalink

  12. Via the Volokh Conspiracy:
    “Yesterday’s Wall Street Journal reported (link for subscribers) on how the boom in biodiesel and other renewable fuel sources is having unintended environmental consequences around the world. On the island of Borneo, for example, Indonesians are setting forest fires to clear land for palm oil plantations (palm oil can be used to make biodiesel).

    Posted by rbj1 on 2006 12 06 at 11:20 AM • permalink

  13. Wasn’t it Einstein who said energy is merely converted to matter, and vice-versa?  Shoots a hole the concept of “consuming energy.”  Of course, the only Einstein quote lefties are fond of is this one.

    Moreover, lefty writers are soooo proficient at glib solutions to complex problems.  One columnist at my college paper urged us all to invite aggressive panhandlers “back to the condo for a shower and a meal.”  I never heard from him after that.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 12 06 at 11:21 AM • permalink

  14. I plan on absconding with ten million dollars worth of carbon credits and fleeing to Brazil, where I will burn down sufficient rainforest acreage to build a modest, 7,000 s.f. ranch-house from exotic trees and commence open-pit mining for emeralds. In my spare time, I plan on hunting the endangered giant armadillo and perhaps marketing their shells as the latest thing in cricket helmets.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 11:22 AM • permalink

  15. Good plan, Paco. And I hear Armadillo shells are completely impervious to mind-control rays, too. So it’s all good.

    Posted by mojo on 2006 12 06 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  16. I’m going shopping for a big-honkin’ Gas Hot Water Heater. Although I’m not sure why I need to heat hot water.

    Posted by Arty on 2006 12 06 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  17. Friday 8pm? Okay, the boss won’t know. Well, not until after the arson squad give the all clear and they remove my charred corpse from the video arcade I work in. Teenagers these days - they’ll cheer me for doing something about global warmening, then burn down the premises as soon as they realise it’ll impact on their entertainment! What is the carbon impact of a burning corpse anyway?

    Posted by Justin on 2006 12 06 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  18. I shall spend 48 hours contemplating a Green hero—my Indonesian counterpart who has 120 descendants, each of which will breed like he has, while pretending to be carbon-neutral and crapping in his own drinking water.

    His tribe of 150 million will soon be casting a covetous eye on Oz, which has a fine infrastructure, wide-open spaces and benign weather. It’s inhabited mostly by Infidels, to boot.

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2006 12 06 at 11:51 AM • permalink

  19. You can, however, use public transport, buy ice and use beeswax or soy candles, which aren’t made from petroleum.

    Does this idiot even hear himself?  As if public transport, making ice, and making frickin’ candles don’t use up any fossil fuels.

    I’m going to go out this weekend and just drive around for hours until I’ve burned up enough fucktard-loathing frustration.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 06 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  20. An XC90, huh?  That’s badass.  Check if the Australian version has the pull-forward rear middle seat so mom can easily distribute Cheerios to the baby buckled in the back.  HOOAH!!

    Posted by Matt in Denver on 2006 12 06 at 12:09 PM • permalink

  21. If I have to go into the office this weekend, I’ll frequently take the elevator down to get snacks from the vending machine.  I’ll take efforts to make sure I’m using the elevator just by myself, just to get a Snicker bar or another snack of an unnecessarily delicious nature.  (It won’t be granola bars).

    If I decide to stay home, I’ll burn through much of my stack of fireplace logs.  I’ll focus on those woods that generate the greatest amount of smoke and CO2.  I’m thinking the old growth woods are a good candidate.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 06 at 12:09 PM • permalink

  22. Hmmmm.

    Frankly this whole global warming nonsense is irritating the hell out of me.

    What doofus scientist really believes, even for a frigging second, that humanity is responsible for any sort of global warming?  Just total idiotic nonsense with a side order of stupdity.

    Here’s a fun Gaia-slaying fact: The earth tilts a few times each year and this gives us our seasons.  The combination of greater thickness of atmosphere combined with the extended, or reduced, duration of sunlight causes a temperature range, depending on latitude, of anywhere from zero to 100 degrees.  So just how much does the earth tilt?  What is the range of this awesome tilt that causes such a drastic temperature change?

    22 f**king degrees.

    That’s right.  22 f**king degrees.  Though in all honesty I must admit that the “f**king” is optional.  Unless you’re living in St. Louis right now.

    So the earth tilts 22 degrees one way and Siberia is an ice cold hell where modern steel will shatter from the cold.  Or it tilts 22 degrees the other frigging way and Siberia is a hot mosquito-laden misery on earth suitable for inclusion in Dante’s vision of Hell or the lobbyist circuit in Washington.

    Sooooooo.

    I’m supposed to believe that increasing the overall world-wide CO2 emissions from the entire host of humanity from 3.2% to 3.3% will somehow magically overcome the powerful effects of the sun and trump all of the existing mechanisms of climate, weather creation and solar energy absorption?

    Go ahead.  Pull my leg.  The middle one.

    Posted by memomachine on 2006 12 06 at 12:22 PM • permalink

  23. #15: Thanks, mojo. Paco’s Armadillo Cricket Objet trouvé helmets seem very promising. And they do ward off mind control rays. I was wearing one this morning, and, for some reason, people kept their distance, so they couldn’t even get close enough to try to exercise control.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  24. wronwright, have you ever considered burning old car tires. Wow! Do those babies crank out some heat or what?!  And talk about smoke and CO2? Fugetaboutit!

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 12 06 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  25. I plan to pay for the sterilization of 10 Palestinian women of child-bearing age.  That will prevent 100 babies from being born, thus helping relieve the over-population which leads to global warming.

    Posted by miriams ideas on 2006 12 06 at 12:30 PM • permalink

  26. #25 miriams ideas

    I plan to pay for the sterilization of 10 Palestinian women of child-bearing age.

    Just how much would 10 suicide bomb belts cost these days?

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 06 at 12:47 PM • permalink

  27. I too am going skiing, in Fernie BC.

    I will retreat to my mountain cabin and burn several hundred pounds of wood in the woodstove to keep me warm. I also plan a fiery and alcohol laden torture of that fat rotund c**t, mother Gaia, because she always tries to kill me, what with storms, snow, pestilence, earthquakes, tsunamis, predators etc. etc.

    I intend to invite neighbours and friends for a bonfire at my firepit where I hope to dispose of perhaps another ton of wood.

    My target: at least half a ton of CO2 into the atmosphere.

    My reasons: I hate chicken little. I hate the voodoo witch doctors who make their living exploiting chicken little. I live in Canada and I am in favour of global warming - not that there is anything I can do to get it.

    Posted by fred z on 2006 12 06 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  28. I’ll fly a 737 from Salt Lake City to Denver to Chicago, burning 21000 pounds of jet fuel in the process.  I’m doing my part to lessen the impact of the upcoming global cooling caused by decreased solar output.

    Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 12 06 at 01:34 PM • permalink

  29. I’m flying from New York to Sydney.

    It’s going to take an awful lot of people putting their keys away to make up for that…

    Posted by sam on 2006 12 06 at 01:50 PM • permalink

  30. For some reason whenever I hear lefty fools do things like Gaiamass I think of this tune

    http://www.allspirit.co.uk/commonpeople.html

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 12 06 at 01:53 PM • permalink

  31. I plan a fine electricity free weekend of 4-wheelin’ in ‘virgin bush’ punctuated by dynamiting me some dolphin, or maybe even shooting some wild pig…You know to protect the environment for enviro-hippies foraging for their roots and shit.

    Posted by monkeyfan on 2006 12 06 at 02:06 PM • permalink

  32. I will be testdriving a GMC 2500 4x4 Duramax Diesel extended cab with mudders and ladder rack.  Burning pure fossil Gaia goo. 

    You know what they say about the size of a man’s environmental footprint….

    Posted by stokes on 2006 12 06 at 02:06 PM • permalink

  33. Anybody up for some propane-container skeet shooting this weekend?

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 02:07 PM • permalink

  34. 5 Texas Bob

    If all goes well, I’ll be boarding a Gaia molesting wide-body aircraft, plowing a carbon laden path through the skies of Iraq all the way back to Germany.

    Most excellent, Sir. Oh and say if you should have to pass some…GAS during or after eating “big juicy steaks” and consuming copious amounts of Bier, dash outside and let’em rip. That should help the Weekend Warrior Society of Turners Off In the Defense of Gaia, immensely.

    Andrew Bolt, the below I doubt will do anything to change even one mind of this group of lice. I wish that it could be different, but…

    But all this could be a very interesting exercise for global warming worshippers - to realise how much harder life will be if we make even this insignificant cut to warming emissions. Maybe by next Monday they’ll start at last to consider the arguments of Bjorn Lomborg, Nigel Lawson and others that it makes more sense to simply cope with global warming than it does to try to stop it. 

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 12 06 at 02:16 PM • permalink

  35. The Big Switch Off or the Big Turn-Off? 

    No matter.  Rousseau’s noble savage/ Palestinian jihadist is now Gore’s global savage.  I myself am going to hunt down the neighbor’s yappy dog and spit him over a fire fueled by another neighbor’s shade tree this weekend.  I will gnaw its meat in a half-naked state, since a gal’s gotta eat and the grocery store is a Joo-Christo mercantile oppressor of free spirits and Gaia rapist almost on par with Duke lacrosse players. 

    And I’ll get a poodle pillow to boot.

    Posted by Cat on 2006 12 06 at 02:19 PM • permalink

  36. I presume they’ll be buying ice from a refrigerator powered by a monkey running on a treadmill, or shipped down from the Arctic by an ice-powered ship. Then with the light of their beeswax candle, they’ll read the part of The Wealth of Nations where they talk about economies of scale and reflect on how it applies to light generation.

    Posted by Behemoth on 2006 12 06 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  37. No serious plans, although I will be hitting Wal-Mart for my Christmas shopping.  That will involve assorted petroleum products (gas, plastic).

    I may hit the range this weekend, and send copious amounts of lead against an innocent hillside, thus involving more gas, lead, etc.  If I had a black powder pistol, I could really influence Mother Gaia™!

    On the other hand, thanks to my remodeling, half of my house is completely uninsulated.  While that will be changed next week (just passed the inspection and ordered the new insulation yesterday), in the meantime, a much larger than usual amount of heat is escaping into the winter air here….and over the weekend! 

    Coincidence?  I think not.  I see Shaitan’s firm hand in this. 

    Oh, and I love this reply Andrew made to a comment in his blog:

    Please don’t tell them that their breathing causing carbon dioxide emissions. We don’t want any deaths on our hands.

    BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 06 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  38. “This is an invitation to stop consuming energy for two days”

    And, this is an invitation to kiss my ass.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 12 06 at 02:34 PM • permalink

  39. You can, however, use public transport

    Pulled by oxen fed on open-range grazing, no doubt.

    buy ice

    From a fellow who cut it out of a frozen pond and kept it from melting with sawdust, of course.

    and use ... soy candles, which aren’t made from petroleum.

    Made from wild soy harvested with hand tools, naturally.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 12 06 at 02:35 PM • permalink

  40. I’m fed up with these half-assed “back to simpler times” plans by the envirotards. They need to go full in. They always stop short of the appealing last step of “die of cholera by age 30, burying 25% of your children along the way.”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 12 06 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  41. Looks as if the unsuccessful males amongst us (none at this forum, of course) are going to have a gala weekend.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 12 06 at 02:49 PM • permalink

  42. My plans?  Tootle 200 miles (in my SUV, thanks) to the ranch in North Texas, where I will perforate at least one deer and every pig and coyote I see.  And then tootle back, of course. 

    Query;  does burning gunpowder produce appreciable amounts of CO2? 

    My CO2 production will be enhanced by some Tex-Mex-fueled methane output, as well.

    Its all For the Children, of course.

    Posted by R C Dean on 2006 12 06 at 03:07 PM • permalink

  43. #33 - Pull!

    Pull hell - RUN!

    Posted by mojo on 2006 12 06 at 03:08 PM • permalink

  44. Switch off your gas hot water heater.

    It was 29% here this morning.  Hell with you tossers.

    Posted by Mark V. on 2006 12 06 at 03:18 PM • permalink

  45. I see lots of those cars in my hometown.  They’re a sweet looking ride and hope it has enough power for Tim.  I suspect Tim would be happy driving a luggage cart as long as it was fast enough and handled well. 

    I light a wood burning fireplace whenever it is colder than -2 or so and it is supposed to be that cold this weekend. I don’t need to light the fireplace but i do it because I like to and because Mother Earth can kiss my ass.  Maybe i’ll drive my SUV instead of my small car when i travel 600 km this weekend as well.

    Posted by matty-o on 2006 12 06 at 03:18 PM • permalink

  46. (Oops.  Meant 29 degrees… FAHRENHEIT)

    Posted by Mark V. on 2006 12 06 at 03:19 PM • permalink

  47. I hope this environmental footprint thingie applies only to warm and sunny climes. Where I live I’m afraid my testicles would retract to my sinus cavity if I turned the power off for two days.

    Posted by ManitobaTim on 2006 12 06 at 03:32 PM • permalink

  48. Just a few thousand years ago, the place where I’m sitting (Chicago) was under a glacier nearly a mile thick. F’ing global warming made it disappear.

    And the f’ing global warming raised the sea levels so high that you couldn’t walk from Siberia to Alaska any more. What a terrible loss of such a unique ecosystem!

    And the f’ing global warming sent played bloody hell with the mammoth hunting too. In fact, it drive the mammoth and the mastadons and the giant ground sloth extinct!

    And you know what? All this happened, and Gaia, the old bitch, didn’t give a damn. Just like she didn’t give a damn when she dropped the dinosaur killer on the planet 65 million years ago.

    So, I will continue to burn natural gas this weekend - the alternative is to freeze my ass off. And I will eat meat. And use my electric lights. And otherwise enjoy 21st century technology.

    Because I care about as much as Gaia does.

    Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2006 12 06 at 03:45 PM • permalink

  49. Well, my plans involve a chainsaw and a diesel tractor. If I can just get Al Gore to fly over, snowmobiles will be involved as well.

    Posted by moptop on 2006 12 06 at 04:01 PM • permalink

  50. Why aren’t these tax-payer funded
    Moonbats, up helping fight the bush fires. Or, are they just all limo watermelons, from the leafy inner suburbs.
    Thanks to the tools in the ‘Department of Namechanges’, (DSE) and their restrictions as far as the bush goes, we now have too much deadwood etc and have to import firefighters, who along with the locals, will do more to protect the bush, than some green trendy-leftie, who thinks its fun to be stylish.

    Posted by BJM on 2006 12 06 at 04:11 PM • permalink

  51. If you’re working that weekend, see if your employer will join The Big Switch Off.
    I wonder if the staff of The Age, the SMH and the ABC will encourage their employers to ‘switch off’ for 48 hours?

    No The Age or Herald this weekend
    No ABC TV - stations blacked out
    No Radio National
    No ABC Shops open all weekend (a fortnight before Christmas). Wow!

    Or do you suspect this might be just another ‘do as I say not do as I do’ hypocritical airheaded empty gesture from the usual loonies?

    I don’t know about you, but I’ll be tuned to ABC TV this Friday night at 8.00pm to see if the satff managed to convince their Green preachy employer to ‘switch off’.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 06 at 04:16 PM • permalink

  52. One can’t help feeling that there is a kind of Gore-Effect thing happening when No Environmental Footprint Weekend will coincide with a stupendous bushfire that will release millions of tonnes of co2 into the air.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 06 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  53. This weekend I plan on putting up my Christmas lights.

    The Griswold’s in Christmas Vacation have nothing on me! If I try hard enough I reckon I can pump about 20 tons of CO2 into the atmos over the next few weeks.

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 12 06 at 05:35 PM • permalink

  54. #53 Bonmot: Don’t forget to burn the tree at the end of the season.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 05:39 PM • permalink

  55. Factoid:

    Assuming the bushfires in Victoria are as bad as the NSW bushfires of Christmas 2001 (and forecasts are grim) this will release more than twice as much CO2 into the air as the entire NSW transport sector does in a year (reportedly 22.6 million tonnes) in 2004.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 06 at 05:44 PM • permalink

  56. Switching off for the weekend, uh huh.  I used to work for a university.  Computer labs, medical labs, biology labs, dorms, dining halls, trysts in the faculty offices, not to mention all-night beerfests, D&D wars in the steam tunnels, and water pipes in all the buildings.  Turning off, probably not.  Come to think of it, that one university alone will be contributing TONS of atmospheric goodness to Glortal Warbling in just one weekend!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 06 at 05:52 PM • permalink

  57. Temp outside house 5 C, Temp inside house 35 C.  Turn on car(s) in garage and leave it running. Borrow a friends power truck to drive to mall on other side of state to buy a box of chocalate (small box, I don’t the calories).  Try to convince a wealthy green to take me up in his Lear Jet for a couple hours just for grins and giggles.

    Spend most of my time bemoaning that fact that OTHER rats are producing WAY to much CO2.

    Oh wait, that’s what I would do if I were Barbara Streisand.

    Posted by David A on 2006 12 06 at 05:52 PM • permalink

  58. Well, I was planning a quiet, low-wattage weekend at home, but now, I think, ROAD TRIP! In the Caddy.

    Should I end up at home, what are the rules exactly? Am I supposed to unplug the refrigerator (is that what the ice is for?)? Am I allowed to provide sustenance and heat with fire? What am I allowed to burn exactly? Burning wood, after all, emits copious amounts of CO2 (as does rotting wood, come to think of it. uh-oh). Does this mean my husband and I will have to spend 48 hours talking to each other?? ROAD TRIP

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 12 06 at 06:17 PM • permalink

  59. We’ve all heard about global warming and most of us have now experienced the first effects of climate change.

    If we shut down the whole world at 8:00PM Friday….won’t it be hard to get it started again?

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 12 06 at 06:18 PM • permalink

  60. If the figures in this article are correct, and so are the figures in this one, the Victorian bushfires have the potential to release as much CO2 as Portugal admits to every year, or indeed, twice as much as New Zealand annually.

    Yay for No Environmental Footprint Weekend!

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 06 at 06:41 PM • permalink

  61. Was this organized by an Australian group?  I find it suspicious that the date coincides with mild weather in Australia.  If they expect people in the northern hemisphere to participate, they’d better pray for global warmening.  9 degrees fahrenheit in SLC last week.  ‘Course I’m in California this week where it’s 65 degrees, but to get here I had to drive a 15 passenger van 700 miles at 16 mpg.  I’ll be making the return trip on Friday, but before the 8 pm switch-off, alas.

    Posted by zyzzx on 2006 12 06 at 06:47 PM • permalink

  62. Wow, without realising that this weekend was ‘no environmental impact weekend’, I had already booked a weekend in Singapore touring WW2 sites. Serendipity! The trip is an unneccesary, self indulgent waste of resources. And, I can’t wait. The flight alone is 18 hours (return) of squandered energy. 

    I’ll have to go to extra effort though, to ensure that I do more than just counteract one enviro-retard. Let’s see, my hotel room airconditioner, well that will have to stay on all day and night, particularly while I am out. Lights, TV, same. I will now hire a bigger car than I intended, merely to enjoy the luxury. Aaaaaah I know, I’ll also run the shower and taps continuously - yeah that’s a goodie, no cost to me, all borne by Gaia. Hey, the stuff falls from the sky - seems to me that we’re supposed to waste it…..

    Posted by Penguin on 2006 12 06 at 07:01 PM • permalink

  63. I’ll be chucking as much stuff out of the house as possible, as I don’t want the landfill to feel neglected. Then, even though I have a lovely grill out back I will get in my car and drive around town searching for places to have dinner. I’ll take as much time as possible and drive back and forth. And then I’ll have to toodle about the parking lot until I find the perfect spot.

    Oh yes, we will use gas.

    Oh yes, we will.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 12 06 at 07:02 PM • permalink

  64. Well, there go my plans this weekend to eat baked beans and alot of lentil soup. Oh, pooh!

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 12 06 at 07:03 PM • permalink

  65. Oh, and Paco, I’ll take that franchise, but only because the alternative seems a little well, irreversible. My only other option was some other suspicious looking guy wearing a viking helmet inviting me into a blue police box. The time tested principles of stranger danger have saved me from that one.

    Posted by Penguin on 2006 12 06 at 07:08 PM • permalink

  66. Setting fire to my house with “bees wax or soy candles” and thus contributing more CO2 to the environment then if I were to maintain my normal habits.

    Posted by LaVallette on 2006 12 06 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  67. Switch off your mobile and any other battery-powered devices, and unplug your landline phones.

    Does this include my pacemaker too?

    And I guess the wife shouldn’t plan on her dialysis on Saturday either, eh?

    Is it Ok to plug in my landline phone to call for emergency services? Or the police?

    I can see there is a lot of planning to do before Friday PM.

    Posted by gajim on 2006 12 06 at 07:17 PM • permalink

  68. #58 - Ix-nay on the alk-tay, Kyda.  That releases CO2 (damn, how do you do a subscript?)

    And #60, MM, those figures are fine so far as they go, but you need to rewrite your presentation to mention a grim milestone.  How else can you convey the seriousness of it all?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 12 06 at 07:19 PM • permalink

  69. Right you are Steve - a very grim milestone.

    Here’s another grim milestone

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 06 at 07:21 PM • permalink

  70. #33

    Paco, here in Milwaukee, we aren’t joking about propane containers right now. A 165,000 pound propane tank sprung a leak, and the resultant explosion did a lot of damage, including blowing out my living room window a mile away. Three confirmed dead, forty five injured, lots of carbon released into the atmosphere.

    Posted by triticale on 2006 12 06 at 07:41 PM • permalink

  71. Take an organically grown hemp rope and hang yourself using Earth-friendly gravity, and then be buried under a tree, so you fertilize Gaia’s children in a carbon-negative way.

    Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2006 12 06 at 07:46 PM • permalink

  72. if i could set fire to the enormous pile of coreflute posters from the election without being dobbed in by the neighbour from hell it would add considerably to melbourne’s particle index.  but i’ll have to make do with putting leftover how to vote cards in the rubbish bin instead of the recycling.  and admiring the solvent fumes from my newly sealed kitchen floor.  sadly not baby sealed

    Posted by KK on 2006 12 06 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  73. #70 Triti

    Hope you and yours are okay.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 12 06 at 08:08 PM • permalink

  74. #70 Triticale: I am sorry to hear of that tragedy. I was, of course, talking about the small containers one finds outside of the 7-11. However, better safe than sorry, so we shall cancel the exercise.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 06 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  75. I’m going to club a baby seal to death with a spotted owl. Then I’m going to freeze the baby seal corpse and launch it from a harpoon gun at a humpback whale. Then I’ll stuff the dead whale full of burning tires and catapult it at the Rainbow Warrior.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 12 06 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  76. While my eco-friends are lying on the floor, trying not to breath too hard, and not cook food and just sweat (at least in Australia) or freeze in Canada, they will be smelling bad after two days of not washing themselves.

    Meanwhile, I will be driving my jeep a couple of hundred miles to go scuba diving, scootering through St. Lawrence. I will then party, consuming copious amounts of food and drink. The next day, I will put up a hundred Christmas lights, outdoors, and heat my house.

    Oh, and I was lying about my non-existant eco0-friends; they were a rhetotrical device.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 12 06 at 08:11 PM • permalink

  77. #22 Ed,

    Here in my secret hide out, Ottawa, Canada, the temperature varies 60 Centigrade every 6 months. I’ve been here 25 years and I can’t say I’ve noticed the 0.03 (?) degree Centigrade warming that is supposed to have occured during that time.

    Honestly, -30 to +30 in six months, excluding wind-chill and humuidex; unfortunately, over the following six months, it goes the other way.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 12 06 at 08:27 PM • permalink

  78. I plan on removing the top from as many beer bottles as I can, in order to release their sweet carbon dioxide fizz skywards.

    Disappointingly, I will have to walk home after my mission.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 06 at 08:27 PM • permalink

  79. I’m going to ride my ripping powerful precious topsoil shredding 300cc Austrian two-stroke off-road dirtbike around, and vaporizing into airborne flecks a meaty hunk of knobby former-rainforest manufactured rubber, all while emitting a fearful blend of noxious asthma-inducing pollutants in an audibly ear-shattering and habitation mauling and small-animal sterilizing ring-a-ding-ding-ding.
    Then I’m going to percuss scores of metallic lead styphnate primers, inducing ignition of
    a chemical stew of nitroglycerin, diphenylamine, and ethyl centralite that in confined and roaring flame dispatches a savagly mined combination of tungsten alloys, steel, iron, brass, bronze, beryllium copper down a chromolly metal tube beyond the speed of sound towards an harvested timber-frame support containing an invasively manufactured paper-pulp target.  And if you don’t like it, as the Greek said, Molon Labe.

    Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2006 12 06 at 08:39 PM • permalink

  80. #39 Dave S,

      “buy ice… from a fellow who cut it out of a frozen pond and kept it from melting with sawdust, of course.”

    Ah, the traditional Canadian way. But, Dave, this will not produce cooling. This is merely transfering cooling from one part of the year to the other; it does not eliminate the warmering; the “average” temperature of the planet will remain the same.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 12 06 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  81. What if you try really really hard to turn off all your switches even earnestly hard but find no matter what you do they remain “stuck on stupid”

    Actually more seriously I hope a lot of the “latte set” do try this and finally realise what it is they are proposing. The ferals will do it anyway because the power has already been cut off to their hovel by the capitalist pig utility company but lets see the “Doctor’s Wives” do it.

    Posted by the nailgun on 2006 12 06 at 08:49 PM • permalink

  82. Have they given thought too, to what usually happens when there is a power blackout, especially as they propose over an entire weekend and couples are stuck for anything else to do? It manifests itself 9 months later and they use a lot of energy and generate a lot of those nasty disposable nappies.

    Peter Costello should probably get on board with this idea and call it his “One for the Country Weekend”

    Posted by the nailgun on 2006 12 06 at 08:52 PM • permalink

  83. A freakin’ Volvo???!!!

    Hand in your Man Card and take out membership at Fernwood.

    I don’t care that it’s got a V8. It’s still appalling.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 12 06 at 09:02 PM • permalink

  84. If the green idiots are not using any power this weekend then will all of the single fat, greenie lesbians have to stop using their vibrators too?

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 12 06 at 09:09 PM • permalink

  85. Tim,

    Loved the pic of the XC90 for lots of reasons but an urgent warning! With global warming and rising sea levels please don’t leave it parked where it is.  I mean you saw the SMH photo of the Spit.

    Posted by allan on 2006 12 06 at 09:10 PM • permalink

  86. I’ve got two Chinese wedding banquets to attend in the next two weekends. No squeamishness about Gaia’s goodies there I can assure you, sharks fin, roast young pig, Goose web.

    I might suggest that Panda paw be served.

    Posted by Nic on 2006 12 06 at 09:10 PM • permalink

  87. DOUBLE Chili with lunch…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 06 at 09:16 PM • permalink

  88. #84: Fraid it’s been designated a dildo only weekend.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 06 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  89. Didn’t have any plans for the weekend, but now that I’ve heard about No Environmental Footprint Weekend, I’ll have to make some. Sadly, here on-campus in Cedar Rapids, IA, it’s virtually impossible to do anything harmful; we take all our meals en masse and walk everywhere, because everywhere is within five minutes.

    To make up for my sad lack of CO2 production, I think I’ll hassle some envirotards. It’s not hard to find a pep talk on some kind of anti-Bush environmental topic around here; all you have to do is turn around. The C02 thus produced by all the people calling me a Nazi will serve to counteract the Footprint Weekend and serve the cause of Roveathrog, Master of Ultimate Darkness and Not Brushing Properly. Muahahaha!

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2006 12 06 at 09:24 PM • permalink

  90. Soy candles?!. Fucking soy candles!??.

    Posted by Daniel San on 2006 12 06 at 09:24 PM • permalink

  91. I’m going to fill up my car and then drive down the coast for a surf.  On the way there I’m going to support my local global corporation by stopping off at a Maccas to buy a bacon and egg McMuffin or two for brekkie.  Lunch will be fish and chips, torn screaming from the bleeding belly of poor weeping Gaia.  And after I’ve ripped a few waves to bits on my plank of mother earth destroying surf board I’ll head straight to the pub for a few coldies along with everyone else who enjoys western civilisation and couldn’t give a fuck about mythical quasi-religious environmental catastrophes.

    Posted by bondo on 2006 12 06 at 09:26 PM • permalink

  92. Would solar power be enough to power the dildo?

    Say One panel on each inner thigh?

    Posted by Rob Read on 2006 12 06 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  93. #75 - Dave S, I am in the process now of cleaning Earl Grey out of my keyboard, because sick as it may be, that was DAMN funny!

    My mechanic’s dropping a new engine in the KID’s ‘97 Exploder, so we can have a total of 6 petroleum-wasters in a family of 3! (2 Exploders, a Harley, a BroncoII, a Yamaha dirt bike & a Tundra) Riches beyond belief! I’ll be baking cookies all weekend, too. Doing laundry. Just to be helpful to the cause, I’ll use the dryer instead of the clothesline, even though the clothes won’t smell as good. Sacrifices must be made.

    Posted by KC on 2006 12 06 at 09:33 PM • permalink

  94. It’s seems there is some confusion over the difference between a vibrator and a dildo and what our eco freak friends can use this weekend when the lights go off.

    Vibrator is usually powered by batteries and on rare occasions is hooked up to the mains: Non-Gaia friendly

    Dildo is powered by inner angst and elbow grease: Gaia safe.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 06 at 09:38 PM • permalink

  95. Run the aircon 24/7 for the comfort of dogs, pour gallons of decayed dinosaur detritus through the induction systems of three vehicles, two turbocharged and one a 500ci V8, immolate several members of the world’s declining fish stocks on a gas grill, run the oven just to bake ‘taters, switch on a third fridge (with 2 fridges and 2 freezers already running, all for 2 people and 2 dogs) to handle the extra booze and meat being acquired for the holiday depravity, drunkenly twang away into the night on my just recieved Fender Stratocaster (hopefully made from rainforst timber) plugged into my ageing valve-powered 100watt Hiwatt and 4x12 box, run several widescreen TVs with dvds playing even though only the dogs are watching, and they’re asleep, prbably go out to eat a few times in airconditioned restaurants, even though we’ve got plenty of food at home and are both fatsos, take the dogs over to the park where they can torment local wildlife and poison the grass, and I might croak a couple of trees that are blocking my view of town. No rest for the wicked resource wastrel and Gaiea rapist.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 12 06 at 09:49 PM • permalink

  96. #94,

    And just how was that Dildo made? Plastic? (tut tut), Wood? Stone? Either way it comes from Gaia.

    No wanking this weekend. Won’t anyone think of our planet?

    Posted by Nic on 2006 12 06 at 09:53 PM • permalink

  97. There’s no longer any argument . . .

    Ah, the all-purpose preemptive termination of discussion tactic—used to avoid the hassle of dealing with all those bothersome differences of opinion.

    Click through Bolt’s commentary to the ecoshout site.  Its slogan is:

    “The planet needs you to give a shit”

    The planet also needs these people to stop taking themselves so seriously.

    Posted by cosmo on 2006 12 06 at 10:21 PM • permalink

  98. The planet needs you to give a shit

    OK, I’ll be doing that Saturday morning…

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 12 06 at 10:32 PM • permalink

  99. Oh, “give a shit”

    Nevermind.

    Posted by rinardman on 2006 12 06 at 10:34 PM • permalink

  100. Have lots of sex—stimulating rapid exhalations of copious CO2.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 12 06 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  101. Well, I can’t really compete with Habib, but I will do my modest best.

    Flight from Pittsburgh to Dallas, then drive home (75 mi.) makes a small contribution. I have several errands to do in my ‘74 Ford pickup, sadly only 390 cid (6.6 liters, more or less) but making up for lack of displacement by having a badly-slipping automatic transmission.

    But I have a couple tonnes of clearance slash, largely mesquite, scrub oak, and hackberry, which has been sitting around awaiting a good time for disposal. Sometime on Saturday I’ll splash it with half a gallon of Diesel fuel, toss a match, and stand back in satisfied appreciation. If we add in running the heaters (both propane and electric) all weekend, I figure I can make up for ten or twenty people “switching off.”

    Hmm. I can also justify running the chain saw. Do I get extra credit for residue from a badly-tuned two-stroke?

    Regards,
    Ric

    Posted by Ric Locke on 2006 12 06 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  102. rinardman:

    I was soooo tempted to go (oops!) there, but didn’t dare.  But now that you’ve done it (oops, again):

    Talk about a renewable source of energy.  I can see the campaign now—

    The planet needs you to give a shit by taking a shit!

    Posted by cosmo on 2006 12 06 at 10:39 PM • permalink

  103. Considering that I live in the middle of rural western Pennsylvania, and it’s goddamn December, if I turn off my heat my plans will include slow loss of sensation in the extremities, followed disorientation and confusion, leading to possible hallucinations. Then death, All for mother Earth!

    I think I’ll get shitfaced instead…I can get all of those conditions without the nasty ending.

    Posted by Thomas Foreman on 2006 12 06 at 11:06 PM • permalink

  104. Thomas,

    Coincidence, perhaps?

    At the moment I’m in Johnstown. I come once a year about this time, and the staff at my customer’s place swear that I always bring bitter weather. For which I apologize most profusely, especially as it might suggest something uncomplimentary about possible relatives.

    It looks as though I may be able to leave a day early, and if so you may expect an early return to sunshine. Don’t know that I can do much about the temperature as such, but it’s my experience that it’s much more bearable in the daytime, yes?

    Regards,
    Ric

    Posted by Ric Locke on 2006 12 06 at 11:32 PM • permalink

  105. Tim, can you please do a review.  I am going to buy an XC90 for Mrs Razor this summer (her choice over the BMW X5, Audi Q7, Merc etc etc) but can’t decide on the V6, V8 or Diesel model. (I am driving a 5.7 litre SV8 Commodore and Mrs Razor likes driving it so I think she will want the V8 XC90).

    #20 - yeah, they have the pull forward middle seat but in Oz it isn’t Cheerios, it’s either milk arrowroot biscuits or vegemite sandwiches.  Hopefuly with the new leather seats Mrs Razor will stop giving the Razorette vegemite sandwiches (Doesn’t bother me in her current Elantra).

    Posted by Razor on 2006 12 06 at 11:37 PM • permalink

  106. A quick guide to a Zero Environmental Footprint weekend:

    Step 1.  Locate a convenient area of frozen wilderness. Start hiking, ensuring that you allow sufficient time to arrive at your destination before Midnight on Friday evening.  You may be tempted to use some alternate form of transportation, but resist this urge.  Even the purchase of carbon credits to offset your travels would violate the spirit of the weekend.  Carbon neutrality isn’t going to cut it, not this weekend.

    Step 2. You should have now arrived at your destination, a very cold place out in the middle of nowhere.  If you brought supplies appropriate for such an occasion, then you’re cheating, you filthy gaia-murdering scum.  Ditch the supplies, and head out further into the wilderness.  Be sure to leave all items requiring the use of energy to create (yes, even the organic hemp underwear) behind, and proceed further into the wilderness where you won’t be tempted to use them.  DO NOT TELL ANYONE WHERE YOU ARE GOING, lest they send out all sorts of snowmobiles, helicopters and other fossil-fuel burning search-and-rescue vehicles out to look for you, squandering the planet’s precious resources.

    Step 3. By now, you have probably noticed that it is rather cold, and you are probably approaching a state of advanced hypothermia.  It is important that the cessation of all life processes be completed by Midnight to prevent the use of energy during this weekend.  If necessary, find a convenient rock to bash yourself over the head with repeatedly (but keep in mind that doing so would be altering the pristine state of the wilderness, and thus be considered CHEATING. 

    Step 4: Once this has been completed, you have stopped using energy, and once the snowfall covers up your frozen remains, you will leave zero environmental footprint.  It is important that an extremely cold environment be used for this exercise, lest you begin to decompose, emitting carbon and other gases in the process and warming up the planet.  If the place you have chosen is sufficiently cold, you should be able to delay the decomposition process until after your zero-footprint weekend has been completed.

    (Excerpted from page 73 of 50 Simple Ways To Alleviate Your Existential Guilt From Your Presence on Earth, Copyright 2005 Published Articles for Communist Orthorexics, Inc.  Used without permission.)

    Posted by Vexorg on 2006 12 07 at 12:27 AM • permalink

  107. #105- look at a nissan stagea, they make the volvo seem like a, well, volvo. they’re an import, but you can get a gtr vasriant which has the (godzilla) skyline running gear, including the automatic fwd/traction control etc and come standard with dvd (screens fitted to rear of front seats) twin sunroofs, leather trim, satnav and all that crap.  One would smoke an XC90.

    If I’ve got time, I’ll switch on the spa (pity it’s too hot to run the heater, but I can leave the pump running so it’s bubbling before I get in, thus hiding any trouser trumpets), then jump in and drink beer that’s got a bigger carbon footprint than a burning Toyota Prius, having been made from heavily subsidised primary products (causing crippling 3rd world poverty) then carted all the way from krautland in a diesel chomping, fume spewing, whale colliding containership. And whatever I eat and drink this weekend will be extra farty, so I can add my personal signature to my warming/consuming/venting effort.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 12 07 at 12:35 AM • permalink

  108. Eco-friendly SUV: Ford Territory Gaia?

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  109. BTW- writeup on the Stagea here.
    I reckon the volve was a rip-off of the concept, and even the rear treatment is nearly identical. I drove a GTR Stagea a few months ago, and blew a 911 turbo into the weeds- if you’ve got to drive a pram, it might as well be a hoony one. when we get rid of the old bat’s Mitsubishi RVR (EVO Lancer running gear in a wagon) we might get her a stagea- she needs a wagon to cart critters.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 12 07 at 12:44 AM • permalink

  110. Gaia/God help the power grid at the ‘Big Switch (back) On’ Sunday night ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 12:47 AM • permalink

  111. If the supposedly Gaia-friendly ecoidiots go camping this weekend and get into trouble then are they not allowed to use their battery powered EPIRBs to call for help?

    One can only hope so.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 12 07 at 01:43 AM • permalink

  112. I will be driving a small, eco-friendly car. Sorry, but I have to compensate for a large penis.

    </humour>

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 12 07 at 02:02 AM • permalink

  113. I for one hope this event is a roaring success. It will reduce the chances of a power grid overload when the mercury hits 37+ in the next couple of days. Thank you, little green men and women of the planet Gaia.

    Posted by Contrail on 2006 12 07 at 02:07 AM • permalink

  114. Ric,
    Johnstown is down in the valley. I live in the Gaia-forsaken mountains up the road a ways. If it is in fact you are bringing the bad weather, I hope you’re up for an early and impending retirement.

    If you have some spare time, you’re free to join my communal warmth huddle to offset the fact that it was 17 f’in degrees last night. If not, I suggest you find one of those non-earth loving valley folk, slit them open like a tauntaun and crawl inside for warmth. Unless it happens to be Jack Murtha. Ye gods, we’d never find you!

    Posted by Thomas Foreman on 2006 12 07 at 02:12 AM • permalink

  115. Habib - thanks for the advice but Mrs Razor has her heart set on the volauvant. I really thought she would go for the BMW X5.  Fortunately for the wallet she is saving me about +20k.

    Posted by Razor on 2006 12 07 at 02:30 AM • permalink

  116. Do the enviroretards want the fire brigade to ‘put their keys away’ with the appalling bushfires here in Victoria at present?

    Hopefully, their environinny bretheren that live up in the affected areas will already have disconnected their phones so that they can become one with Gaia when Nature’s fury arrives.

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 12 07 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  117. Pop Quiz - how long will it be before the meteorological geniuses in the media start blaming the bushfires on Glowball Warmening?

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 12 07 at 03:09 AM • permalink

  118. #113
    Peak load vs (hypothetical, TIC) monumental load step ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 03:11 AM • permalink

  119. SUV? SUV?  Is it a stick? Well, close the hood so I can step on the frickin’ gas.

    Posted by slammer on 2006 12 07 at 04:22 AM • permalink

  120. #117, they did that some time ago:

    Severe bushfires linked to global warming

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 12 07 at 06:28 AM • permalink

  121. True Green, Kim McKay


    Kim McKay: ... the No.1 thing you can do is in terms of a motor vehicle, is look at driving a hybrid vehicle.

    ...

    Robyn Williams: And what about the costs; for instance, getting a new battery for $4000 after five years?

    Kim McKay: I mean, I think the costs weigh out anyway; in terms of normal maintenance on a motor vehicle, I’m seeing no difference in that. I just don’t think that it does cost you more; I think it costs you less in the long run and I’ve immediately made an enormous impact in terms of my personal carbon emissions. Of course, the other bad thing that I do is, because I fly around the world quite a bit for my job, which means I have to offset my emissions, you know just to fly from here to London is about 10 tonnes of CO2 emissions.

    ... yeah right!

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 07:41 AM • permalink

  122. We won’t be doing anything environmentally halal ourselves, but we do plan to watch footage of Tubgirl and Veronica Moser doing their bit for water recycling.

    Posted by Jim Geones on 2006 12 07 at 08:34 AM • permalink

  123. Rob Read:

    “For some reason whenever I hear lefty fools do things like Gaiamass I think of this tune

    http://www.allspirit.co.uk/commonpeople.html”


    I like this one better:
    http://www.lyricsdepot.com/steely-dan/only-a-fool-would-say-that.html

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2006 12 07 at 09:16 AM • permalink

  124. Let’s see:  Friday I’ll go home, turn on all the lights, and begin hanging the inside Christmas decorations;

    Saturday, the window replacement people, the electrician to install outdoor receptacles for my new outside Christmas decorations, and a installer for the new back screen door which was made with lots of petrochemicals will be coming to the house.  Then at 6:00 p.m. I’ll be driving a 2005 diesel ambulance; we’ll make lots of unnecessary trips to ensure a lot of fumes. 

    Sunday, I’ll be home, basking in the warm glow of Mother Gaia’s pain. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2006 12 07 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  125. The furnace man came today, inspected, and found it good.  There’s snow on the ground outside, so we’ve got that baby fired up.  No stopping it now until spring.  Sorry, Gaia.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 07 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  126. Just wait till these guys get of load of my new 14-ton coal-fired steam car! Man, I’ll be the SHIZZNAT!

    Posted by mojo on 2006 12 07 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  127. To reduce the environmental foortprint at Chez Aussiemagpie this weekend we will do the following:

    No dishes - we’re eating out

    No lawn mowing - let the weeds reach up to the roof

    No telly - we’ll be out and the Test cricket won’t be on

    We’ll leave the car in the garage and catch public transport - a taxi

    No cleaning anything - so no chemicals used

    No candles - as we don’t have the regulation soy ones and no porch light - we’ll just use moonlight to find the keyhole when we stagger home from the club

    Wonderful tiny footprint weekend really ahead

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 12 07 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  128. if you’ve got to drive a pram, it might as well be a hoony one.

    Does anybody else suspect that Habib just makes words up?

    He’s a slithy tove, that one. Mimsy as hell.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 12 07 at 12:19 PM • permalink

  129. #128 And articulable, too.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 12 07 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  130. Well, I’m giving him full credit for “hoony.”  I like it, whatever the hell it means.  And I’m still trying to snort the last of my tea from my nostrils after reading “trouser trumpets.”

    As far as maximizing my footprint, I’m going to be shooting my new BB gun a lot this weekend.

    BB gun?, I hear you asking yourselves.  What is that wacky M14 shooting Steve doing with a silly BB gun?  Well, check this out:

    null]Drozd[/url]

    Fully automatic, but the best thing (so far as the weekend is concerned) is that it’s powered by CO2!!!  Hoony, huh?

    Whoo-hoooo!  In your face, Gaia!

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 12 07 at 03:07 PM • permalink

  131. Oh, forgot to mention that instead of the copper clad steel BBs I got two thousand lead ones because I read they are much more accurate in this model (it actually has a rifled barrel).  So CO2 into the air, lead into the Earth… if only somebody made depleted uranium BBs that’d be the shiznit.

    Paco?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 12 07 at 03:11 PM • permalink

  132. Habib may well be coining new words, but they’re coin of the realm, as far as I’m concerned, great, gawdy, pieces of pure gold.

    #131 Steve: the depleted uranium BB gun is still on the drawing board, but you may be interested in the Junior Street-Sweeper or the Kidz Karbine or maybe even Baby’s First Flame-Thrower, all from the line of fine educational toys offered by Li’l Paco, the toy division of Paco Industries.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 07 at 03:32 PM • permalink

  133. I plan lighting my farts to heat my house this weekend.  To insure adequte fuel I will consume massive amounts cheap beer and chili.  Who’s with me?

    Posted by Ohio Matt on 2006 12 07 at 03:39 PM • permalink

  134. #133: Well, in spirit, old top, I’m with you.

    Posted by paco on 2006 12 07 at 03:43 PM • permalink

  135. Paco, you still have the Kiddie Minigun?  And any of those nifty remote control gunship gliders would be cool.

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 12 07 at 07:18 PM • permalink

  136. I recall seeing an ad in an american motorcycle magazine for a BB greasegun which was powered by a CO2 cylinder inserted into its belly- the spiel was something like perfect gift for the rugrat, and ideal if you want to pepper the cat. sprays BBs around like a showerhead.

    It immediately went on my must have list, but the spoilsports in the federal govt here ruled them to be an automatic weapon, and therefore illegal.

    I would’ve thought “hooney” was a legitimate adjectival variation of hoon, which for northern hemisphere readers is a descriptor for a bogan with a motorised conveyance, usually a heavily modified domestic sedan that makes more noise than an Islamic vegan who’s discovered bacon in his felafel.

    Posted by Habib on 2006 12 07 at 07:32 PM • permalink

  137. Volvo, Boxy but good!

    Buy one today!


    Blair news today at three….....

    Posted by 1.618 on 2006 12 07 at 08:10 PM • permalink

  138. How’s this for a great way to enrage the eco freaks?

    A helicopter has been hovering in one spot for nearly two hours at an obscure little sports ground in Perth called Lilac Hill.

    Why? You ask.

    It is because England is playing the Australian Chairman’s XI in a cricket match today, and it rained overnight, so the pitch needs to be dried out before play starts.

    Gaia raping at its best. Outstanding effort.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 12 07 at 08:40 PM • permalink

  139. The bad old days:

    Nigel Dick: The one thing technologically that happened in those early days was using OB links to bring the cricket down from Sydney to Melbourne, and using a DC3 aircraft flying in figure-of-eights to bring the tennis from Adelaide to Melbourne. Those are the sorts of technological experiments that occurred back in the late 50s and early 60s.

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 07 at 10:34 PM • permalink

  140. Unfortunately, my errands and such on Friday will be completed before 8pm.  On Saturday, we’ll be driving out to the market, driving back home, driving an hour+ north to do some Christmas shopping, heading back.  Maybe we’ll also drive over into New Jersey to get some cheap gas and alcohol.  Plus, as somebody else noted, it’s getting cold here in PA (although Philly is warmer than the godforsaken center of the state), but that means the heat will definitely be on this weekend as will my Christmas lights.

    I was wondering, if you work in a hospital, should you get your boss to participate and shut it all down?

    Posted by BeckyJ on 2006 12 07 at 10:48 PM • permalink

  141. Past the 2000 AEDT mark ... will the power grid ever recover?
    Better keep those soy candles handy just in case ;)’

    Posted by egg_ on 2006 12 08 at 05:34 AM • permalink

  142. Has it started yet?

    Posted by Contrail on 2006 12 08 at 07:39 PM • permalink

  143. Page 1 of 1 pages

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