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WEDDING TO BE MEMORABLE

An unfortunate double booking at England’s Alton Towers theme park:

A couple’s plans for a £5,000 wedding at Alton Towers were thrown into confusion yesterday after it emerged that the theme park had double booked them with a fun day for 20,000 Muslims.

On the bright side: at least this’ll keep the bar tab down.

Posted by Tim B. on 07/12/2006 at 02:03 AM
  1. The article says “...[the couple] have been told that if they go ahead with the ceremony they will not be allowed to go on celebratory rides together.

    “Furthermore, Miss Morris and her female guests will have to cover up to be in line with guests of Islamic Leisure wearing hijabs.”

    It’s not Aprils Fools Day or something?

    Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 07 12 at 02:19 AM • permalink

  2. Stuff that for a joke.

    The bridal party and wedding guests should wear whatever they like on the day and go on whatever rides they like together - anything less is discrimination.

    Alton Towers should be sued and so should Islamic Leisure (an oxymoron?)

    If the Muslims don’t like it, then they really should have made a complete private booking of the theme park.

    Frankly, I’ve had enough.

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2006 07 12 at 02:36 AM • permalink

  3. Amanda Morris, 30, and her fiance, Scott Lee, 31, have been told that if they go ahead with the ceremony they will not be allowed to go on celebratory rides together.

    Pull all of your troops back to England Tony Blair, you will need the for the defense of the homeland, that is if your people haven’t convinced you to sign the dhimmi form.

    We in the U.S. aren’t any better, are we George. Geneva Convention rules for WHAT?

    Filthy death cultists? George, you once had balls, better find them again, elsewise the same dhimmi form next signed, will be by you.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 12 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  4. This probably means the pig-on-a-spit is off the cards too, right?

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2006 07 12 at 02:46 AM • permalink

  5. I was so hoping that I’d read that this was a same-sex marriage. THAT would have made the situation perfect.  The Brits are seriously in a state of confusion about this topic. Its breaking their leftist model. What to do, what to do?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 12 at 02:55 AM • permalink

  6. Is Alton Towers anywhere near Stonehenge? Let’s add a few Druids to the mix.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 07 12 at 03:00 AM • permalink

  7. Hey TB, how’s things at the office?

    I’ll answer as well, YOU...fine, just fine. Await my return home to see my lovely wife, family and country. Oh yeah, how’s that damn beer fund coming along?

    ME... Yes and you will be welcomed as a hero by your lovely wife, family and country. Beer fund is great it has passed the 20 U.S. Dollar mark, I’ll have you know…LOL.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 12 at 03:11 AM • permalink

  8. El Cid,  I read that SecDef said that the Geneva Convention has always been followed in Iraq.  Iraq is a country, America is a country, so Geneva applies.

    I don’t agree that this is the way it ought to be the case once the government of Iraq fell.  Especially when we found foreign compatants in the place.

    That doesn’t mean that I don’t agree that Bush has lost his nerve.  His better instincts have been blunted by those “practical” career bureaucrats and officials.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 07 12 at 03:18 AM • permalink

  9. saltydog

    That doesn’t mean that I don’t agree that Bush has lost his nerve.  His better instincts have been blunted by those “practical” career bureaucrats and officials.

    ‘Tis true good person, ‘tis true. One could see it coming for a while. The constant and vicious whipsaw (didn’t do enough and/or leave now, you’ve lost GWB) attacks by the Left, didn’t help either.

    Maybe a good strong John Howard, giving the good strong Margaret Thatcher, “now is not the time to go wobbly, George” speech will reverse the course.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 07 12 at 03:28 AM • permalink

  10. Well, for a start, the bride wont be the only one wearing a white dress. Secondly, will the couple in question be getting married in a Christian ceremony? Surely thats not very culturally sensitive of them. What will the Guardian say?

    Posted by Nic on 2006 07 12 at 03:38 AM • permalink

  11. Then some of our guests started getting letters saying they would have to cover up because it was a Muslim event.

    Bet they’re glad it wasn’t gay pride’s turn to book the park.

    Posted by Nic on 2006 07 12 at 03:41 AM • permalink

  12. That Islamic Leisure sounds like both an oxymoron AND a bunch of morons… 

    i wonder what that collection of fanatics do to kick back and enjoy themselves….  i’m sure the odd faux stoning of some effigy of well known western leaders must get a geurnsey…  (or however its spelt)    flag burning would also be popular of course…  along with other fun and games such as molotov cocktail throwing contests…

    u have to do do these things to not only bring your community together, but to stay in practice in case some infidel really steps out of line or the odd embassy needs torching…

    of course holding some sort of potentially christian ceremony in the midst of these unbalanced cranks is probably not the most sensible thing to do…  i hope this Alton Towers has some good insurance in case it ends up looking like Baghdad or something…

    Posted by casanova on 2006 07 12 at 03:53 AM • permalink

  13. Go thing they didn’t double book with these events.

    NEW! The BN Alton Towers Naturist Weekend

    17th – 19th November 2006

    NO NEED FOR CLOTHES ALL WEEKEND!
    ACTIVITIES AND EVENTS THROUGHOUT THE WEEKEND!
    KIDS UNDER 12 FREE!

    The Alton Towers Hotel and adjoining Splash Landings Hotel. The theme park itself will be closed for maintenance in November and Alton Towers have therefore offered the resort for this one weekend only to members of British Naturism. The resort includes the Cariba Creek Waterpark, Spa, restaurants and bars, and conference and function rooms. We will have the entire place to ourselves and nudity will be permitted throughout.

    JULY 11TH 2006 : ARE YOU A GAYDARDAYS EARLY BIRD?

    http://www.gaydardays.co.uk/RITA.jpg

    Posted by Ductilis on 2006 07 12 at 03:58 AM • permalink

  14. Spread a few pounds of bacon strips around the park, and they will have the place to themselves.

    Posted by perfectsense on 2006 07 12 at 03:59 AM • permalink

  15. Alton Towers presents - Four Stonings and a Wedding.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 07 12 at 04:01 AM • permalink

  16. The last time Muslims crashed a wedding, people died. Still… Lovely decor.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 07 12 at 04:07 AM • permalink

  17. and so lets get this straight, this couple booked the place months ago if not a year or whatever, and this bunch of johnny-come-lately fruitcakes comes along and thinks they can just impose their requirements on all the other booked guests of this place do they???

    Believing that they and their own guests had the complex almost to themselves, Islamic Leisure drew up a list of requirements.

    so they knew they didn’t have an exclusive booking, but just expected that whoever else was around would conform to their archaic restrictions???

    this really is the thin edge of the wedge…  you know its total BS when you try and think about any other groups in the community who tried this crap and how many lawsuits for discrimination they’d be hit with, or protests they would provoke….

    Posted by casanova on 2006 07 12 at 04:11 AM • permalink

  18. I reckon the happy couple should sue for peace.

    Alton Towers obviously were too busy looking at the $ signs (can’t do pounds or euros on my kb)instead of the calendar.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 07 12 at 04:24 AM • permalink

  19. i guess in the grand tradition of dhimmitude, perhaps they could pay this Islamic group to be allowed to proceed with their day as they choose, and it not have unpleasent repercussions???

    in O/T news in a sign that these Islamic militant groups must think the rest of us are just as big a pack of gullible fools as the brain washed masses they claim to represent, Lashkar-e-Taiba have claimed they had nothing to do with the mumbai train bombing:

    “These are inhuman and barbaric acts. Islam does not permit the killing of innocent people,” a man who identified himself as “Doctor Ghaznavi”, spokesman of the Lashkar-e-Taiba said.

    dah!!!

    hmmm, i hope there isn’t a miniature train thing at this fun park…  these mussies start frothing at the mouth these days when trains and infidels start being mentioned….

    Posted by casanova on 2006 07 12 at 04:33 AM • permalink

  20. What would happen if they built a theme park in Iraq?

    Posted by MarshallD on 2006 07 12 at 04:48 AM • permalink

  21. with no music, drinking, gambling or fun in general allowed, i doubt it would cause Disney execs, or any other potential competitors, to lose much sleep????

    Posted by casanova on 2006 07 12 at 04:52 AM • permalink

  22. #20

    What would happen if they built a theme park in Iraq?

    Depends if it was built by Americans or Arabs.

    A theme park in Egypt was voted Worst Theme Park Ever. See why here.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 07 12 at 05:42 AM • permalink

  23. #20 MarshallD what the hell for? Have you ever seen this country? Its a shit hole. It has 5 kinds of weather and all of them suck (wet and muddy, still, cold and windy, hot and windy, hot windy and sandy) Its filthy, the local food sucks, and every building is made from mud. Men openly have sex with farm animals.  The people sit and wait for the Coalition to do EVERYTHING for them and bitch because things aren’t being done quick enough to suit them. What kind of theme park would you suggest and who would go to it?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 07 12 at 05:43 AM • permalink

  24. It would be more fun if it were a stag party. Boozing and strippers would go so well with the muzzies. I hope those people film the Islamo-fest and release it on the internet.

    Posted by Andrew Ian Dodge on 2006 07 12 at 06:11 AM • permalink

  25. So i’m guessing no cocktail weenies at the reception either? damn.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 07 12 at 07:24 AM • permalink

  26. I was at a wedding in Cairo, pleny of beer, and
    Hash!!!!.

    Posted by Torontosteve on 2006 07 12 at 07:33 AM • permalink

  27. well Alton Towers there’s also that other western tradition - the law suit.  Upsetting a bride’s wedding day, solicitors must be rubbing their hands in glee

    Posted by spyder on 2006 07 12 at 08:17 AM • permalink

  28. Just imagine if a bright-eyed Muslim couple got hitched at the Alton Towers theme park on an ordinary day.

    To soothe native sensitivities, they’d be obliged to peel off their robes for sure… and join the bikini mud-wrestling, hog hollerin’ and boozy BBQ camaraderie of any other anglo-yankee-skip multicultural event.

    Wouldn’t they?

    Posted by splice on 2006 07 12 at 08:40 AM • permalink

  29. Spyder,

    I agree, the compensation payable will be big. Over here in the UK you need to book a year ahead to get a wedding venue, and with the first year of the gay civil partnerships in full swing, there will be an even bigger strain on capacity.

    The question is: who sent the guests letters telling them to cover up? When I got married (over here), I don’t remember giving the reception place the names and addresses of guests. Is that normal practice? If Alton Towers claim that the wedding party were exempt from covering up, who sent the letters?

    Remember the line from the Office:

    Interviewer (to David Brent): have you ever had a major disappointment in your life.

    Brent: yeah, Alton Towers. It’s rubbish.

    Posted by Effing & Blinding on 2006 07 12 at 08:54 AM • permalink

  30. #22

    Dan, that was the most breathtakingly bad “amusement” park I have ever seen. And I’ve been to rundown, low-rent, graffiti-covered, garbage-filled parks in Jersey and New York. But nothing compares to that.

    I don’t know; maybe you just can’t run rides in the middle of the Sahara.

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 07 12 at 08:55 AM • permalink

  31. Believing that they and their own guests had the complex almost to themselves, Islamic Leisure drew up a list of requirements.These included the provision of prayer areas and bans on music, alcohol and gambling. In the Muslim tradition, women would also need to cover their bodies, as well as going on rides separately to their menfolk.
    Oh, the sheer, Babylonian wantoness of it all! I suppose there will be clowns for the kiddies? A little car filled with tiny caliphs, all decked out in mock suicide belts that “explode” with paper streamers and confetti?

    Truth to tell, sounds more like “Puritans Take Wrong Turn, Land in Vegas”. Picture, say, the men-only “Corkscrew of Death” roller coaster ride, filled with scowling, bearded faces, whirling mirthlessly through the air. Or the women-only Merry-Go-Round, suggesting an equine supply train laden with pup tents. Good times!

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 12 at 09:23 AM • permalink

  32. Well done, Paco. I’ll remember all that on my trip to Six Flags Great Adventure on Splodeydope Day.

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 07 12 at 09:43 AM • permalink

  33. Political correctness removes gender:

    An Alton Towers spokesman said staff would be discussing “the options available” with the couple.

    She claimed it was a condition of the Islamic Leisure booking that wedding and hotel guests would be exempt from the Muslim dress code.

    Apparently the “spokesman” is a spokeswoman (or spokesperson, or spokesentity). Or perhaps [s]he is transgendered, in which case I hope she shows up at the park on Leisure-suited Muslim day.

    Interesting if true that the “condition” that was required of the Muslim group was so quickly ignored in writing up their list of requirements. And yeah, who sent the letters?

    Posted by bobpence on 2006 07 12 at 09:58 AM • permalink

  34. Speaking of doubling up..and I do humbly apologise if I am wrong..
    7.30 Report had as a guest expert to comment on the sad and shocking Mumbai train bombings, Dr Samira Yasmeen -an academic representing U.W.A.
    I rather thought Ms Yasmeen was a muslim.
    Would that not make her an unusual choice to seek out for her views?
    Incidentally,deepest sympathy to family and friends of the victims.

    Posted by crash on 2006 07 12 at 10:03 AM • permalink

  35. One Christian wedding, 20,000 Muslims.  They’ll hear the explosion in Edinburgh.

    In the US, the couple would OWN that park after the lawsuit.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 07 12 at 10:53 AM • permalink

  36. #23

    Well, how about “slackerback mountain”.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 07 12 at 11:02 AM • permalink

  37. o/t A young Irish couple scaled THREE safety barriers to get up close and personal with three tigers in Dublin Zoo.
    The woman then pushed her arm through a heavy chain link fence and the tiger (said the keeper)“did what tigers do” and bit her.
    The keeper said the woman was lucky to be able to withdraw her arm because tigers normally do not let go.

    Posted by crash on 2006 07 12 at 11:17 AM • permalink

  38. Wow #22, I’m in Brisbane listening to John Lee Hooker on the ipod and pissing myself laughing at the link on your post.  Firstly how did you know a theme park review blog existed?  Secondly how did you find out about the Egyptian theme park?  As we say in some parts of Oz, what a pisser!  For the few who know what it means, that place looks like Ack and Beer block after the great bish of Romani in 82!

    Posted by platey mates on 2006 07 12 at 11:19 AM • permalink

  39. Yaseen Patel, the organisation’s director, confirmed: “The body will have to be covered, (though) they do not have to wear the hijab.”

    How delightfully vague.  I suppose it means no shorts or tank tops (for the women, men get a pass), but after all it will be September in England, so shorts weather is iffy at best.  Obviously it also means no form-fitting jeans or slacks for women.  So, it’s the shapeless Palestinian overcoat for you, ladies.  No hijab?  How tolerant.  Of course that could mean they want you to go for the full burqa.

    My litigious American heart says sue the pants off Alton Towers and bad-mouth them forever after to anyone who will listen.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 12 at 11:23 AM • permalink

  40. So they signed a contract saying all other guests would be exempt from their restrictions, yet the Muslims went ahead and sent out threatening letters anyhow.  Push, push, until you get what you want.

    BTW I thought Muslims weren’t supposed to have fun anyway.

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 07 12 at 11:57 AM • permalink

  41. Mayhap NBC could send in a few NASCAR fans with hidden cameras.

    Posted by bovious on 2006 07 12 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  42. #39, RebeccaH,

    They said that the women’s bodies must be covered.  They didn’t say covered in what.  Sounds like a challenge to the women in the wedding party.  If it were my wedding, I’d make sure the challenge was met.  Since they don’t have to wear the hajib, it could be gold paint, a la Pussy Galore.  Or spandex.  Or delicate Irish lace.  Remember that see-through outfit Cher almost wore to the Oscars several years ago?  Put a veil over the butt, and it would make a nice wedding dress/thingy. 

    Just a thought. 

    It is time to take a stand for every individuals rights against privileged underdogs.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 07 12 at 12:55 PM • permalink

  43. Why is it that when I read Alton Towers, I think of Fawlty Towers?  At least, I do now.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 07 12 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  44. #41: Excellent suggestion!!

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 12 at 01:37 PM • permalink

  45. As a Catholic, my wedding reception involved the downing of large amounts of wine.  We even forced my wife’s Protestant relatives to drink wine.

    I DEMAND that on my anniversary, everyone on the planet multi-culturally acknowledge my culture and drink large amounts of wine!

    Posted by Room 237 on 2006 07 12 at 01:43 PM • permalink

  46. Mrs. Doctrine weighs in:

    I want to see an episode of Bridezilla taped on the next “Fun Day” at Alton Towers! That really is unbelieveable. The bride is VERY understanding. I’d be seeing 6 shades of red and the claws would be out.

    Posted by SoberHT on 2006 07 12 at 01:46 PM • permalink

  47. #45: Forward date; will do (nothing’s too good for a co-religionist).

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 12 at 02:09 PM • permalink

  48. ‘Or the women-only Merry-Go-Round, suggesting an equine supply train laden with pup tents. Good times!’

    Paco shoots! He scores!

    Posted by Harry Eagar on 2006 07 12 at 02:16 PM • permalink

  49. #37; By any chance, was alcohol involved?

    I’d think you would need help of some chemical sort to do something quite *that* stupid.

    Posted by steveH on 2006 07 12 at 03:44 PM • permalink

  50. #49: Something similar happened in Richmond not long ago, at the popular Maymont Park. As I recall, a woman took her son into a restricted area, right near a fence that served to enclose one end of the black bear exhibit, the kid supposedly got bitten, and the City of Richmond had the bear destroyed (which is apparently inevitable when they check for rabies). Turns out the bear didn’t have rabies and the kid’s injury didn’t even break the skin. In fact, I think they destroyed both bears. Big public outcry.

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 12 at 04:17 PM • permalink

  51. It’ll be a blast!

    Yeah I said it.

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 07 12 at 04:57 PM • permalink

  52. fun day for 20,000 Muslims

    My oxymoron detector just exploded.

    Posted by PW on 2006 07 12 at 06:14 PM • permalink

  53. #42, Excellent idea, salty!  The first mass coronary in history, right there in Alton Towers.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 07 12 at 08:27 PM • permalink

  54. Well, this is all a great argument for church marriages, as opposed to having them in theme parks and zoos and such.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 07 12 at 08:28 PM • permalink

  55. #25

    So i’m guessing no cocktail weenies at the reception either? damn.

    Slightly OT
    We have just received Cheerios over here, advertisements on TV enthuse about their various grains, etc, and how nice they are for breakfast with milk.

    Hmm. In Queensland cheerios are cocktail franks (cocktail weenies)... I did a double take when I first heard the avert!

    #37

    She won’t be doing that again, silly bitch.

    #50

    Shoulda shot the kid, and it’s parent/s.

    Posted by kae on 2006 07 12 at 09:18 PM • permalink

  56. #55: Shoulda shot the kid, and it’s parent/s. That was, indeed, the general sentiment of many Richmonders.

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 13 at 08:10 AM • permalink

  57. Hmm. In Queensland cheerios are cocktail franks (cocktail weenies)... I did a double take when I first heard the avert!

    Cocktail weenies: they’re not just for breakfast anymore.

    Posted by paco on 2006 07 13 at 09:26 AM • permalink

  58. Never take a Muslim fishing.

    Take two.

    (If you take one, he’ll drink all your beer.)

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 07 13 at 09:33 AM • permalink

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