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WEATHER MAKER

Read this and weep, Tim Flannery:

Sydney’s dam levels hit the half full mark today.

As of 3pm, the city’s dams were 50 per cent full, up 10.8 percentage points on the previous week thanks to heavy rainfall over the catchment. Last week’s mark was 39.2 per cent …

The Premier, Morris Iemma, said rain over the past 14 days had added about 7½ months to the longevity of Sydney’s drinking water supply.

“Over the past two weeks up to 320mm of rain has fallen on Sydney’s catchment areas, boosting the dams by 336 billion litres of water,” Mr Iemma said.

The next time you hear Flannery making long-term climate predictions, remember this: even his short-term predictions are hilariously wrong. Meanwhile, media appearances by the previously unavoidable Priustologist seem to have dried up.

UPDATE. A coldening is upon us:

Commercial meteorological resource Weatherzone said Mount Isa on Wednesday recorded the lowest maximum ever in the Australian tropics at only 7.7C.

Blame coal! Coal causes all of these “freak weather events”.

UPDATE II. Brisbane’s Marty K. emails:

On Wednesday the mercury got to a meagre 12.8 degrees, which, according to Channel 7 news, makes it our coldest June day in 80-odd years. The Courier-Mail thinks it’s the coldest since 1973 at least.

There has to be an explanation for this. Now that police have ended the manhunt for the Melbourne gunman, they can launch one in South-East Queensland looking for Al Gore or Tim Flannery.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/22/2007 at 03:41 AM
  1. Gore the warmalist…wrong. Flannery the junior warmalist…wrong. I’m bloody freezing here, where are the coolalists when you need them to warm things up?

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 06 22 at 03:54 AM • permalink

  2. The climate change thingamyjig was a nice lark Mr. Flannery. Feel free to return to your job as a paleontologist.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 06 22 at 03:55 AM • permalink

  3. So Flummers, are the dams half full or half empty?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 04:00 AM • permalink

  4. What’s Flannery’s beef with dam levels? He’d be better informed if he took a dam tour and had a dam look with his own eyes. Why, I bet he’s never even taken a dam walk, checking for dam cracks and dam leaks.

    Bada-bing, bada-boom.
    I gotta million of em!

    Oh, and try the veal.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 04:10 AM • permalink

  5. #4
    He’s prolly boning up on ‘em right now!

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 04:15 AM • permalink

  6. I can’t beat that effort Texas Bob.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 04:17 AM • permalink

  7. I think hes Dam-ed if he does and dam-ed if he doesnt really.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 22 at 04:25 AM • permalink

  8. Leave him alone Texas, he’s dam sure the end of the world is nigh.

    Posted by The Prez on 2007 06 22 at 04:26 AM • permalink

  9. Well I’ll be dammed.

    He’ll be back, he’s just making dam sure he’s got a remotely plausible story to fall back on.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 04:28 AM • permalink

  10. I’ve read that in Heaven, they’ve got God’s Dam.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 04:28 AM • permalink

  11. Uh, can we wash our cars yet?

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 06 22 at 04:28 AM • permalink

  12. Flannery, my dear, he doesn’t give a ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 04:28 AM • permalink

  13. Well, if Flannery does go for a dam look, I hope he’s careful not to slip and have a dam fall. The last thing he needs is more dam brain damage.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 04:30 AM • permalink

  14. OK, I’ll stop *now.

     

    *But not really.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 04:33 AM • permalink

  15. Flummers: pre-eminent of the dam nation?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 04:36 AM • permalink

  16. #11, Dan Lewis:

    Uh, can we wash our cars yet?

    Why? You wanting it to rain again?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 22 at 04:41 AM • permalink

  17. This is the problem with climate modelling based predictions. They are not proven to be accurate. There are so many ifs buts and maybes that they’re not even wrong.

    Posted by Observer on 2007 06 22 at 05:03 AM • permalink

  18. Whatthef@ck is a BA in English Lit doing mouthing off about the climate anyway. Deconstructing the narrative or something.

    BTW, rain is forecast for the next 7 days here in Perth and it’s freezing (not literally).

    Posted by phil_b on 2007 06 22 at 05:03 AM • permalink

  19. Cannot cope with this Global warming- got chilblains for first time in years and can barely walk the dog for the pain in swollen red toes- I am freezing cold, hands blue and dead white as I do my bit for Gaia and not light the fire until after seven.
    Washing hanging in sodden misery on line and weeds just loving the rain. I wonder is there a commercial use for Oxalis? I am too scared to kill it don’t want big Al or Bobby Brown come gunnin fer me.

    Posted by Hillyminx on 2007 06 22 at 05:21 AM • permalink

  20. Yes I am another sook who lives in Darwin,where tonight the sun is just about to set (around 7.00pm)and it is BLOODY FREEZING at 24 degrees.

    Not much warming of the globe occurring here tonight.

    As readers would be aware, on Wednesday we had our coldest June day ever when the mercury never got over 21 degrees ALL DAY!

    I feel sure the “another ice age is coming” theorists would have had plenty followers during the last few days.

    Posted by Dave Wane on 2007 06 22 at 05:27 AM • permalink

  21. It was 9 degrees in Canberra today after a low of -6 in my suburb last night. I expect all of you to start emitting more carbon right now. Do it for the freezing children of Canberra!

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 06 22 at 05:40 AM • permalink

  22. According to the San Jose Mercury, Tim Flannery’s teaching some sort of baseballian group. I hope, for their sake, that he’s a better baseballian than climadictatarian.

    Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 06 22 at 05:52 AM • permalink

  23. Six degrees here, f-f-f-f-frriggin freezin cold at 7.45pm. All is forgiven, Al. Bring back global warming.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 06 22 at 05:53 AM • permalink

  24. I’m so glad we installed some recycled paper insulation last year.  Our summer was very nice, and we hardly used the air con, and our winter, even with the record cold, still didn’t require the heater.  bub has hers on, but she now has a sniffle, so the steam machine is a pumping.

    re carbon emissions, I must say I have done my best by passing copious wind every time I read a Flannery “prediction” “scare” bullshitstatement.

    Hope it helps.

    Posted by peter m on 2007 06 22 at 06:14 AM • permalink

  25. Perhaps Brisbane’s Marty K might like to explain what happened to his blog!

    Posted by TimT on 2007 06 22 at 06:18 AM • permalink

  26. Alright Tim, I’m sick of your crap.  You obviously have no degree in science, or you’d know that CO2 causes global cooling as well as global warming, not to mention global raining and global drying.

    If there was no CO2 in the air, the entire world would be a comfortable 72 degrees, day or night, with perfect rainfall all across the globe.  All of us environmentalists know this, why don’t you?

    We’ve got to end Co2 production RIGHT NOW!  On the count of 3, everyone hold your breath…

    Posted by blogagog on 2007 06 22 at 06:20 AM • permalink

  27. “Read this and weep, Tim Flannery”
    You people have no compassion.

    Posted by chrisgo on 2007 06 22 at 06:35 AM • permalink

  28. #21 now that’s just great.  Have to spend a couple of days down in Canberra next week.  Have to get the winter woolies out of the ol’ space bag.

    Posted by entropy on 2007 06 22 at 06:44 AM • permalink

  29. #20

    Oh, quit bloody whinging, Dave. That’s TWENTY-NINE EFFING DEGREES warmer than here.

    Swap ya.

    MarkL
    canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 06 22 at 06:56 AM • permalink

  30. Um, guys? Do any of you own socks, or long-sleeve shirts? And you can close your windows, you know. Though here in Florida when it gets below 65 degrees (That’s about 18 degrees Celsius) we open our windows.

    Come on now. Man up! Weaklings won’t survive the coming Ice Age.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 06 22 at 06:58 AM • permalink

  31. I agree Andrea. They could be roasting their nutsacks off in Iraq. Enjoy the frickin chill!!!

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 07:31 AM • permalink

  32. Face it.

    Tim Flannery, paeleoclimatologist weather fairy.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 07:33 AM • permalink

  33. It looks like the drought in SW Ohio might be broken.  We’re getting rain, and it’s 61F right now.  I guess we’ll have to put off the Warmocalypse for another day.  Or another era.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 22 at 08:04 AM • permalink

  34. But for the abnormally cold weather caused by man-made global warming this would be the warmest OZ June ever!

    Posted by Hobbes on 2007 06 22 at 08:09 AM • permalink

  35. It looks like Globall Warmenizing officially ended in Germany on Wednesday. Leave it to those crafty Germans to figure out a way to fix that CO2 problem. It is wonderfully cool here now.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 08:24 AM • permalink

  36. I just spent Thursday doing my site induction at an underground coal mine which involves a walk down the people and equipment drift. Fine except that it doubles as the main intake for ventilation and it turns out it was the coldest June day for years.

    Bollocks to this; I thought this coal mining game was warming the earth up. I should have stayed in Open Cut mining.

    Or maybe I should move to hard rock. Hey frollickingmole, need a mining engineer?

    Posted by AnthonyC on 2007 06 22 at 08:42 AM • permalink

  37. Sydney’s dams filling up? The drought in Ohio alleviated by rain? A lake in Chile is missing?

    Coincidence? I think not . .

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 09:10 AM • permalink

  38. Wronwright has been nervously fidgeting all day and keeps muttering goofy things like irreversable unforeseen side effects and emminent planetary destabilization. Hee, hee! He’s so funny!
    It’s weird though, I’ve never seen him pit sweat so much before. I mean even more so than usual.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 09:18 AM • permalink

  39. I noticed that too Texas Bob.

    I especially noticed when Wronwright got up from the couch and I stole his spot. It felt like I’d fallen onto a giant, smelly sponge.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 09:22 AM • permalink

  40. #38: It’s weird though, I’ve never seen him pit sweat so much before.

    He’s doing the honorable thing: he’s trying to replace that lake he, er, borrowed.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 09:30 AM • permalink

  41. I see.  Allow me to adjust the journalists’ template, in view of this latest development:

    Scientists, however, warn that short-term, localized cool spells cannot forestall the inevitable, worldwide rise in temperatures created by man’s continued production of greenhouse gases.  Climatologists call for continued efforts to reduce CO2 production, especially among industrialized nations, to prevent what many experts call the “snowball” of global warming.

    There.  Let the agitation continue.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2007 06 22 at 09:32 AM • permalink

  42. OK.  Enough with the dam jokes, you bunch of racists.

    As a dam designer, I find this extremely hurtful and I might not be able to stop myself from taking terrible, swift vengeful action

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 06 22 at 09:34 AM • permalink

  43. Who gave this idiot Australian of the year award anyway?

    Posted by ice on 2007 06 22 at 09:37 AM • permalink

  44. #41 It’s near perfect, isn’t it? No matter WHAT happens with the climate, the climate is still doomed to the inevitable melt down. Don’t let those decieving frigid temperatures fool you. It’s much like the kicking of a dying cockroach, or the flapping of a headless chicken. CO2 is the global Jim Jones and he’s serving up some nasty punch.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  45. #42 Sorry Jack, I owe you a dam apology. I realize now that my attempts at dam humor where not as dam funny as I’d previously thought.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 09:41 AM • permalink

  46. #42: That’s right, Jack, you mentioned that you were one-a them dam engineers. Just out of curiosity, have you ever seen Coolidge Dam in Arizona? I believe it’s the largest rock dam in the world. I had a flat tire out that way after a harrowing trip along the Apache Highway that runs through the Superstition Mountains (“nearly seventy miles of well-maintained gravel roads” - like driving on the world’s longest washboard).

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 09:42 AM • permalink

  47. #39 Ash_ I especially noticed when Wronwright got up from the couch and I stole his spot. It felt like I’d fallen onto a giant, smelly sponge.

    Might I offer my lady a towel? Or perhaps a level four decontamination?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 09:45 AM • permalink

  48. #47 Why, thank you Texas Bob, a level four decontamination is just what I need.

    You’re a true gentleman.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 09:50 AM • permalink

  49. #46 ...harrowing trip along the Apache Highway that runs through the Superstition Mountains…

    Obviously, you must have been enroute to set this up: PACO

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  50. The Maximum Temperature Anomaly map below helps appreciate how cold it is right across Australia. The only positive temperature anomaly is in a very small area south of Shark Bay. Everywhere else (a land area approximately the same as the continental USA) is colder than normal and a huge swathe is a massive 12 degrees C below normal.

    http://www.bom.gov.au/cgi-bin/silo/temp_maps.cgi

    Posted by phil_b on 2007 06 22 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  51. #49 No thanks needed my Lady, it’s what we minions do.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 09:56 AM • permalink

  52. Ah, Ash! There you are. Thought you might want to revisit this whole baby name business. Feel free to select from the following list:

    Paqueline (French; nickname, “Packie”)

    Pakeesha (U.S. inner-city)

    Paquita (Spanish dimunitive of the feminine, “Paca”)

    Paca Sue Belle (U.S. southern region)

    Paquette (French diminutive)

    Pacovia Pacovna (Russian)

    Paconoria (English, aristocratic slant)

    Packypus (Native Australian)

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  53. 41

    Climatologists call for continued efforts to reduce CO2 production, especially among industrialized nations, to prevent what many experts call the “snowball” of global warming.

    Hehe.  Well, there you go, then.  Global warming causes snow to cover the globe….

    Posted by Apostic on 2007 06 22 at 09:58 AM • permalink

  54. #49: Oh, my sainted aunt! I wasn’t even aware of that particular tentacle in the empire.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 09:59 AM • permalink

  55. #50 phil_b

    There you go. Proof positive of global warming climate change.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:59 AM • permalink

  56. #52

    Pach-a-yderm (after me)

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 10:01 AM • permalink

  57. #51 I should negotiate a pay rise for you minions then. If you’re all this sweet and charming, you must certainly deserve it.

    In fact, your charm reminds me of a cousin’s wedding reception last year.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:02 AM • permalink

  58. Packypus is very cool Paco.

    But shouldn’t I be fearful that I’ll never be able to make her clean her room, in case a bunch of Greenpeace or PETA representatives turn up and protest the ruination of the habitat of the extremely rare Packypus?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:04 AM • permalink

  59. #57 Shucks, ma’am. Twernt nuthin.

    kicks at pebbles and blushes beet red

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  60. #59 Few minions are as polite and charming as you.

    May I offer you a refreshment? Or something to eat?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:15 AM • permalink

  61. #60 Why thank you kind lady, wronwright only gives me moldy hamburger bun crumbs and rancid hotdog ends he kicks at me off the floor of the Tardis, and I get so thirsty trying to lick the condensation from the Apaches cooling systems…

    Hears MarkL approaching
    No thanks ma’am, I fine.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 10:24 AM • permalink

  62. Did you guys catch Iowahawks’ latest funny. Dan Rather trying to imitate our beloved Detective Paco.I’m surprised he left out our host in his investigation of the usual suspects.

    Posted by greene on 2007 06 22 at 10:25 AM • permalink

  63. #61 If you ever wish to join me for a refreshment or a meal, do let me know.

    It gets kind of lonely around here, with the other gents always leaving on some “important time travel mission” or to go to “marketing meetings for the launch of new products”.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  64. May I offer you a refreshment? Or something to eat?

    Check out the two minute raw noodles dipped in chocolate with garlic salt, Texas Bob.  I hear that’s something special.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 22 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  65. #62 greene: I linked it a while back. The series, which has been going on for, I believe, two or three years, has me hooked; “My name’s Rather, and I’m a dick.” Irresistible!

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  66. #64 Actually, I baked scones.

    There were about 60 when I finished baking them just before lunch.

    There’s about 20 left now.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  67. #64 As long as they’re not moldy and rancid, count me in.

    #62/66 Well, I suppose I could stop by for a quick snack while the guys are away.  If they come back and catch me, you could just tell them I was re-spackling kitchen. (an old minion trusty excuse!)

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 10:41 AM • permalink

  68. #67 The way I see it Texas Bob, I’m a pregnant woman, and the guys seem to want to live.

    So the chances of them arguing with me are minimal.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  69. #65 paco… Figured as much.I’m a net tard as you have surmised by now. That vignette with Charles Johnson on his bike wearing a zoot suit reminded me of a Paco gag.

    Posted by greene on 2007 06 22 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  70. #68 Excellent point Ash_. The only thing that surpases a RWDB Oberlord’s greed is his fear of angry pregnant women.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 10:47 AM • permalink

  71. Night folks, I need to head ‘em up and move ‘em out!
    See ya later.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 22 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  72. #70 Especially one with a pent up pool of anger that she hasn’t relieved yet.

    I would usually do kickboxing to relieve said anger, but it’s not recommended for a lady of my condition.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:48 AM • permalink

  73. Good night Texas Bob.

    Have a great sleep.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  74. O/T, but it’s Frothy Friday, and we’ve got to give Media Watch something to do.

    And on a now practically extinct thread, commenter mks57, hopping the train after it’s already well out of the station, makes the not entirely unfair point that we are condemning that which we have not seen. Or is it a fair point? I don’t recall that anyone condemned the “performances”; they may have been excellent for all I know. But are good performances sufficient to raise a calculated piece of propaganda to the level of art? And even if so, are we compelled to ignore the clear (and admitted) propaganda aspects simply because they may be carried off with technical brilliance? Discuss among yourselves while I eat my ridiculously low-fat and unappetizing lunch.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 12:05 PM • permalink

  75. The performances themselves may have been of the highest standard, however, I do believe we were criticizing the story told in the play.

    I personally don’t think that good performances are sufficient to raise a calculated piece of propoganda to the level of art. I believe propoganda is propoganda, and art is art. Art is something that can be appreciated by everyone for any number of reasons, whether they agree with any messages contained within. Propoganda has the sole intention of either telling only one side of the story, or of misleading the viewer about the facts.

    If your lunch doesn’t appeal to you Paco, I still have some scones left.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  76. To continue on to Paco….

    Hands up those who have actually seen the play? WHOOPS - Looks like it’s just me. How could I tell…because of the ignorant comments most of you made. That includes the ones about the director’s name. Obviously many of you are not into the theatre… pity really… in the case of “Osama the Hero”, you are missing out on some great performances.

    You know, pity that no one has allowed my, three excused homicides per year to pass.

    And yes I know, The Lord Of The Compost(ME) would be a target, but they had better be damn good, because then, the rule of self defense would be on my side and my plea.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 12:29 PM • permalink

  77. #76 Not to mention you have that brilliant steed on your side, my Lord.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  78. OH, ummmm mks57

    in the case of “Osama the Hero”, you are missing out on some great performances.

    I don’t believe that you jerking off in your seat, would qualify as “great performances”.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  79. #46 Paco - I’m more of a concrete dam person myself.  When I’m in that part of the US, I always make a side trip to Hoover or Glen Canyon dams

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 06 22 at 12:38 PM • permalink

  80. I already answered him, big fat lot of good it does anyone. 

    I’m not spending my money on pretentious wankers.  Period. 

    So call it “art,” call it “Shirley,” call it “provocative,” but if I don’t like it, I’m not going. 

    Simple as that. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 06 22 at 12:40 PM • permalink

  81. Ash_

    Oh my yes…a brilliant steed, indeed. Except, I must get him out of the habit of stopping at rail crossings. ‘Tis a safety feature in and of him, but when one is under fire..NOT good.

    Oh my dear Ash_, since my legs are hairy and having tired the duct tape, masking tape, glue, school paste and what not to hold up fishnets. I can eliminate those. the other options that you suggested are fine. Just get me her name and addy…:).

    Oh, just in case, the second of the two, is who I mean.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  82. Someone find that glowball worming and bring it back home!  Fast approaching freezing here in Sydney.  0.4 in Richmond.

    Posted by Pixy Misa on 2007 06 22 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  83. OT Tony Blair may convert to Catholocism

    Well, I can see that going down well with some people in England. Of course, I mean those damn Presbyterians.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  84. Heh, speaking of glandular distractions, I’ve just been blocked from the main article’s coal link by FortiGuard—which has it classified as pornography.  Like, what am I missing here?

    Posted by Apostic on 2007 06 22 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  85. Oh, El Cid, I understand what you mean. Rail crossings are far more dangerous when one is under fire. Do you encounter the same trouble with traffic lights?

    The second of the two is a lovely lady, if I had her name and address I would most assuredly forward them on to you. As it happens, those are my preferred way of keeping stockings up also.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  86. Apostic

    You are missing nothing…and this headline needs a bit of tweeking.

    “Resumption of coal exports will bring out more freaks, such as us weather whether our sanity is intact, or not”.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  87. Ash_

    Do you encounter the same trouble with traffic lights?

    Only when I try to enact my yet to be passed, three excused homicides per year.

    The second of the two is a lovely lady, if I had her name and address I would most assuredly forward them on to you. As it happens, those are my preferred way of keeping stockings up also.

    I’m sure, you are as lovely and honestly “those are my peferred way” to view ummm, to do said same.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  88. Oh my…it is also my p-r-e-f-e-r-r-e-d way.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  89. El Cid, wearing stockings that way also results in a reduced need to show a little thigh as I pull the thigh highs up again.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 01:03 PM • permalink

  90. 89 Ash_

    wearing stockings that way also results in a reduced need to show a little thigh as I pull the thigh highs up again.

    Ahemmmm, yes. I shall try my best, but may need an instructional video OR in lieu of, an instructor….lol.

    You see, I just started wearing the damn things, since they were found, in my Explorer. I don’t have the hang of it and when I do, it gets in the way…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 01:10 PM • permalink

  91. #80: Atta girl, Elizabeth! I agree. If someone wrote a play taking the side of holocaust deniers, would it make a difference if the dialogue were brilliant, the pacing inspired, and the direction sensational? That would be, not art, but the prostitution of art.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 01:13 PM • permalink

  92. I’d gladly show you, El Cid, but you happen to be on the other side of the world. And I’m not big on flying when I’m sure I weigh enough to prevent the plane from being able to take off.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  93. 80 Elizabeth

    Please don’t call me

    “Shirley”

    Bad enough I have to wear, these damn fishnets.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 01:21 PM • permalink

  94. #93 If you don’t like the fishnets El Cid, take them off and I’ll wear them.

    It’s freezing here and I’m sure my legs have frostbite. Even a little bit of warmth would help.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  95. Ash_

    And I’m not big on flying

    Me either, arms get damn tired. It’s really not the flying that’s bad, it’s that damn sudden stop, when they do.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 01:25 PM • permalink

  96. If you don’t like the fishnets El Cid, take them off and I’ll wear them.

    It’s a deal. I must rush them to the nearby Packing And Container Office.

    Their triple XXX, method of shipping, is second to none.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 01:30 PM • permalink

  97. The stop can be rather painful.

    That’s why I rely on the services of others to do all the flying for me.

    If I recall rightly, I usually rely on the Perfect Aeronautical Commuting Organisation to get me around.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 01:32 PM • permalink

  98. #96 If they’re the ones with the rubber lining around the top to hold them up, would you mind including any spare super glue you have laying around?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 01:34 PM • permalink

  99. Thanks, Paco. 

    El Cid, those fishnets can be a pain, although the last time I wore them was in high school in 1970.  Ah, a long time ago, in another galaxy. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 06 22 at 01:49 PM • permalink

  100. 98 Ash_

    If they’re the ones with the rubber lining around the top to hold them up

    Rubber lining? Hmmmmmm. Lemme see. Nope. See no signs of prophylactic or rubbers

    would you mind including any spare super glue you have laying around?

    Not at all, have to locate it though, had a few last night and it’s missing. Couldn’t possibly have used it for my toothbrushing, for my mouth still opens. Damn, where is that shit???

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 02:05 PM • permalink

  101. El Cid,

    Behind the nice embroidery on this lady’s stockings, will be the most evil rubber ever created.

    It’s supposed to hold them up, but not only does it not achieve this aim, but it makes legs sweat and the rubber chafes.

    Much better using the suspenders.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 02:12 PM • permalink

  102. Ash_

    Behind the nice embroidery on this lady’s stockings, will be the most evil rubber ever created.

    Well mine aren’t that fancy.

    It’s supposed to hold them up, but not only does it not achieve this aim, but it makes legs sweat and the rubber chafes.

    I see. Oh and no comment on the rest…:).

    Much better using the suspenders.

    Hmmmm, that must be where I failed, use of suspenders. Friggin’ rat asses at the course, would have tried to snap the bastards anyway. Which most certainly would have invoked, one my three excused homicides rule (not yet in effect).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 02:35 PM • permalink

  103. OT (as if my other contributions haven’t been)

    Aussie Cleric Supports Hezbollah

    THE nation’s most senior Shia Muslim cleric has attacked John Howard for backing Israel against Arabs and openly declared his allegiance to the Iranian-backed terrorist group Hezbollah.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  104. This guy is funny as hell…Theo

    One must make sure prior to clicking on his site, that all food and drink have been cleared from the mouth area.

    And his hot babes area is…well never mind.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  105. Rampaging Squirrel Injures Three

    Rats get sloshed, anger police

    The behaviour of these animals can only be attributed to global warming.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  106. “... but it makes legs sweat and the rubber chafes.”

    That might be a viable opinion, but this is a subject which more data and (er) research is required .... Some would advocate “hands-on”, but not me; unless I was compelled, forced even ...

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 06 22 at 02:41 PM • permalink

  107. #102 Yeah, exactly what is it with males and a desire to flick anything tight and elastic?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 02:42 PM • permalink

  108. I didn’t do the Rampaging Squirrel proper justice. Allow me to quote from the article.

    ”...the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man’s garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh,” the spokesman said.

    “Then he killed it with his crutch.”

    I get the feeling a proof-reader will be fired.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 02:44 PM • permalink

  109. It’s bedtime.

    Good night!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 22 at 02:48 PM • permalink

  110. 107

    Yeah, exactly what is it with males and a desire to flick anything tight and elastic?

    1. Ummmm, laytex envy…Oh my misspelled, l-a-t-e-x.

    2. Love of rubber trees.

    3. Permanent Acceptance Childhood Ogling.

    4. Males never mature, they just grow.

    5.______________________(fill in blank)

    6.______________________(fill in blank)

    7.______________________(fill in blank)

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 02:55 PM • permalink

  111. nite Ash_

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 02:56 PM • permalink

  112. #104: Funny? More like freakin’ hilarious!

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 03:09 PM • permalink

  113. NO! You FOOLS!  Don’t you SEE?  With the Great Coldening being brought upon us by manmade CLIMATE CHANGE these filled dams will the birthing places of the huge glaciers that will sweep down upon our defenseless cities.  We must DRAIN the reservoirs AT ONCE to give the hapless populace time to outrun the onrushing ice!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 22 at 03:54 PM • permalink

  114. 7.7? 12.8? You call that cold? Sheesh, come to Pennsylvania in January and experience cold. Painful cold. Nosehairs and mustache freezes everytime you inhale cold.

    Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 06 22 at 03:55 PM • permalink

  115. #113: Forks over a sawbuck to Chauncey, Wronwright’s butler, thereby gaining access to the gadget cabinet. Pockets Water Molecule Miniturizer. Sneaks out.

    Ok, Richard, we’re good to go on that reservoir drainage operation.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 04:02 PM • permalink

  116. The First Sea Lord of the British Navy walks into the conference room. The officers immediately stand to attention. “Please be seated, gentlemen”. The officers sit down and prepare for a briefing on the newly-adopted Australian Naval Engagement Protocol.

    Gentlemen, as you know, we learned some valuable lessons from the Australian Navy’s recent success in repelling a potential Iranian attack in the Red Sea. These lessons have resulted in the new protocol for naval engagements by the British Navy.

    The key to understanding the tactical superiority of the Australian approach lies in grasping the importance of what we shall call “belligerent dash”. The Australians were able to intimidate the Iranians through a display of unadulterated cheekiness and front., without firing a shot. This was accomplished largely through the employment of linguistic bellicosity. Henceforth, the following rules of engagement shall apply.

    When British naval personnel are accosted by, er, “wogs”, in the Red Sea, they are to “give them a gobful”, by hailing them in a loud tone of voice, and instructing these, uh,“brown-eyed mullets” to, (*cough*) “f**k off”, (or, alternatively, to “do the Harold Holt”), and to refrain from ”pulling any shonky business” with the Royal Navy, otherwise they are likely to, er, “cark it” by catching one up the “clacker”. They are further to waive “hooroo” to the “drongos” in a facetious manner, and to “big-note” themselves with respect to the dimensions of their, um, “old fellahs”.

    Applying these new principles will assist us in becoming the “bonzer” naval force that we once were. Good luck, gentlemen. God save the Queen.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 22 at 04:59 PM • permalink

  117. OT, but very disappointing.

    Despite the shrieks of horror from Meeja Watch, we’re only a bunch of lightweights: timblair.net is only rated PG

    Some RWDBs we are… Damn, if it weren’t for El Cid, we’d be rated G.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 22 at 05:45 PM • permalink

  118. Garsh, thanks Spiny.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 06:16 PM • permalink

  119. Speaking of…Mr. Senior Dectective Paco.

    Please Sir, if you would just spice up the Detective Paco stories. Toss in some of the babes (real hot babes) from Theo Spark.

    Maybe we could get The Blair House up to R.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 06:20 PM • permalink

  120. Heh-heh.

    Actually, El Cid, if you paste the URLs of individual comment threads, you’ll get very different results. For example, the Angry Lefty thread gets an NC-17.

    That’s more like it.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 22 at 06:34 PM • permalink

  121. #99

    Oh, Elizabeth, we are of an age.

    Morning all.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 07:22 PM • permalink

  122. hey kae

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 07:31 PM • permalink

  123. #106 J.M. Heinrichs

    This area seems “underfunded” perhaps state funding should be used?

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 06 22 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  124. > last time I wore them (fishnets) was in high school in 1970. 

    Do you have any photographic evidence in order to help us jump-start our research?

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 06 22 at 07:36 PM • permalink

  125. Hi El Cid!
    I see everyone’s been up posting all night. I had a good sleep, ‘cept I didn’t turn off the alarm and woke at 5:15-ish. So then I slept in!
    Fishnets, eh? Hmm.
    I liked them for special occasions.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 07:43 PM • permalink

  126. Ummm, yes kae…great legs...fishnets…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 07:52 PM • permalink

  127. Where was wronwright?

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 06 22 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  128. Happy you slept well, kae.

    How close do some of you live to Ash_?

    She is not sleeping well at all, for various reasons…not good, for mother nor child.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  129. Oh say, Tim, would you put another thread? I believe I killed this one.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 08:22 PM • permalink

  130. El Cid, gr…umm… well, minds anyway, think alike!  :-) I just asked Sir Tim for a thread on Aussie food. Hopefully he’ll go for it.

    Posted by Mary in LA on 2007 06 22 at 08:47 PM • permalink

  131. That fat prick Algor must be somewhere nearby - it’s supposed to go down to 40 degrees (that’s 4 degrees C for you metric types) in my area of the People’s Democratic Republic of Taxachusetts tonight. 

    It’s summer.  Al, dude, WTF?

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 08:49 PM • permalink

  132. I’m still here! Occasionally.
    I’m trying to install my skype phone and set up the sound thru the PC as well as the handset (handset isn’t very loud). The instructions aren’t very, er, comprehensive. I guess it’s the new “intuitive” software thingy.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 08:50 PM • permalink

  133. I’ll have to go and do “stuff” soon. Domestic stuff.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 08:51 PM • permalink

  134. Hey fine folks…we have to step it up, a bit.

    Spiny found we are rated only PG…see his link above a few….:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 08:54 PM • permalink

  135. Blue, that’s a great start…lol…Fat Prick

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 08:59 PM • permalink

  136. 117 - we need more NSFW links dammit.  I refuse to be labeled a PG site member.

    Posted by peter m on 2007 06 22 at 09:07 PM • permalink

  137. Dam levels increased another 3.6% overnight when Tim Flannery read the latest reports and wept.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 06 22 at 09:12 PM • permalink

  138. fuckin a….peter m…i’m with you

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 22 at 09:25 PM • permalink

  139. Hi Dminor.
    Tim’s tears.
    Yeah, I like it!

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:31 PM • permalink

  140. ...as he gently brushed the rain from her face she felt a stirring…

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  141. see what NSFW you can do with that piece of Mills and Boon.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:32 PM • permalink

  142. Disclaimer: having never read a bodice ripper I must confess that I wasn’t sure how to start it… however, I knew that starting at the thighs was probably not right.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:33 PM • permalink

  143. #136 I believe that tool does a scan of the homepage and gives an on-the-spot rating. Comments are in comment threads, not on the front page, and aren’t going to affect the rating.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 22 at 09:39 PM • permalink

  144. Oh, hell, I’ll play.  Continuation of kae’s #140

    ...in the very depths of her soul.  She had come to this climate change conference expecting only to admire him from afar.  True, she often fantasized about him, imagining his accent, his figure, and even his PowerPoint slides as she pleasured herself late at night with the vibrator she had named after him, but she had never expected anything like this.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 09:46 PM • permalink

  145. #144
    I see you haven’t read any bodice rippers, either…


    Oh, and:
    Tim Flannery = Future Bleater

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:51 PM • permalink

  146. She had approached him after his presentation and asked shyly for his autograph.  Turning to acknowledge her, he was struck by her beauty.  The lanky, unwashed hair, the tie-dyed Che T-shirt knotted in front to form a makeshift halter, the dirty cutoff jeans, the Birkenstocks, the faint scent of patchouli and stronger smell of pot - she was the lefty of whom he had always dreamed.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 09:54 PM • permalink

  147. #140

    In light of Blue State Sil’s contribution, I would like to amend the first part to this:

    ... as he gently brushed the rain sleet snow from her face she felt a stirring…

    Ahhh, that’s more like it. Continuity and all that.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:54 PM • permalink

  148. #145

    Nope!  Are we supposed to jump right into the action, or set the scene first?  :D

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 09:56 PM • permalink

  149. I reckon I’ll just let Blue take over, it’s getting interesting…

    lol

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 09:56 PM • permalink

  150. #147
    as he gently brushed the ‘snow’ from her nose ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 09:58 PM • permalink

  151. Blue State Sil, you wouldn’t be getting self-conscious, would you? With all these people watching?

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 22 at 10:00 PM • permalink

  152. Yeah, egg_. You haven’t read a bodice ripper, either, eh?
    I think they’re all bosoms and thighs and cheeks, but they start at the cheek and, er, go down, so to speak.
    Unlike real life, where it starts at the toes and plays up.
    he he

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 10:01 PM • permalink

  153. with the vibrator she had named after him

    Mr Dildo?

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 10:05 PM • permalink

  154. After signing her copy of “An Inconvenient Truth,” he had asked her if she had plans for the evening.  She stared at him at first, shocked that he would even take notice of her, let alone speak to her, then stammered something incoherent about only planning to walk back to her hotel and sit in the darkened, freezing room so she wouldn’t waste energy.  “Oh, hush now, darlin’,” he drawled.  “A pretty little gal like you shouldn’t spend the evening alone.  Why don’t you come with me?  We’ll get something to eat, then…talk.  Yeah, we’ll talk.  That’s it.”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 10:06 PM • permalink

  155. (talk? a private presentation of An Inconvenient Truth…)

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 10:08 PM • permalink

  156. “Is it getting hot in here?” he asked as he tugged at his collar.
    “Oh it is true, Al!” she exclaimed.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:11 PM • permalink

  157. egg_,that’s good, I like it.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 10:13 PM • permalink

  158. #153 - either that or Mr. Dickhead.

    He had taken her to a local vegan eatery famed for serving the freshest greens around (so fresh that they didn’t even bother washing them before serving, instead charging extra for the minerals in the dirt).  She had noted that he hadn’t really touched his bean-sprout wrap or his spinach-tofu shake, and thought she had overheard him saying something about “KFC and maybe a pizza later on” to his driver, but figured that he was just tired from the presentation.  He then asked her, “Darlin’, how about going back to my suite with me?  I want to show you some carbon credits.”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 10:18 PM • permalink

  159. “I think we can find somewhere to cool off” Al says, as he whisks her away ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:20 PM • permalink

  160. #157
    I think we can sit back and enjoy sil ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:21 PM • permalink

  161. “Speaking of hot, you must be feeling pretty warm in that outfit, darlin’.  You might have a fever, just like the Earth.  Better let me check.”  He ran his hands up her back, under her shirt, and whispered, “Just as I thought - you’re burning up.  Let’s just get rid of this, shall we?”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 10:24 PM • permalink

  162. (i guess they are in front of the oil-fuelled fire place?) (On the Polarbear skin rug.) (Drinking wine from, er, Australia…)

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  163. #20 Dave Wane

    Yes I am another sook who lives in Darwin,where tonight the sun is just about to set (around 7.00pm)and it is BLOODY FREEZING at 24 degrees.

    Harden the fuck up. (Audio NSFW)

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 06 22 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  164. Although she was desperate to feel his touch, she had asked him to wait until they were in his suite before he slipped her shirt off.  Reluctantly, he agreed, but he kept stroking her back as the limo pulled into the drive of what had to be the biggest, most exotic hotel she had ever seen.  Puzzled, she looked at him and said, “But, doesn’t this place use a lot of carbon, Al?”  He smiled lazily at her and said, “Carbon credits, sweetheart - it’s all taken care of - don’t you worry about a thing.” 

    They had gone up to his palatial penthouse suite and were now standing out on the balcony enjoying the brisk late June air.  A light snow began to fall, but she wasn’t chilled - the heat of his hands feverishly stroking her skin and the heat of the half-dozen space heaters he had placed around the balcony saw to that.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 10:34 PM • permalink

  165. #161
    This is where the M&B eupehemisms come in really handy ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  166. #164
    Suddenly Al’s cellphone began to ring, the caller ID was ‘Tipper’ ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  167. For a moment, it seemed as though he would sweep her into his arms and carry her back into the bedroom, but he began panting heavily when he tried to lift her and had to put her back down.  Instead, he took her by the hand and led her through the open French doors and into a huge candlelit bedroom.  Embracing, they sank down together onto the polar-bearskin rug (“it drowned, darlin’ - it was the damndest thing - didn’t want to waste the fur), in front of a roaring fire that warmed the room (“genuine rainforest hardwoods, darlin’ - nothing but the best for you”).  He poured each of them a glass of Australian chardonnay and raised his in a toast.  “To Gaia and to us.”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 10:43 PM • permalink

  168. #164
    Al: ‘Sorry, darlin’, gotta rush: I’ll leave you in the hands of my assistant, Ricky Bobby.’
    Ricky: ‘Sweet baby Jesus!’

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:49 PM • permalink

  169. ****applause***

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 22 at 10:51 PM • permalink

  170. “Oh, SHIT,” Al hissed.  “Hang on, darlin’ - I need to take this call in the other room.  While I’m gone, be a sweetheart and slip this on, will you?”  As the phone continued ringing insistently, he got up, rummaged through the closet for a moment, and dropped a large plastic bag in front of her.  He then hurriedly left the room. 

    Curious, she opened the bag and lifted out what had to be the strangest garment she had ever seen.  It was made of ocean-blue silk decorated with a pattern of what looked almost like continents of green, brown, and white.  There was a matching headpiece of cottony white, almost like a halo of clouds.  Slipping out of her tattered hippie clothes, she donned the odd garments and walked over to the full-length mirror that covered one wall.  “Weird,” she thought.  “I look sort of like…”

    “GAIA!”  She turned and saw Al coming towards her, a strange, crazed, passionate look on his face.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 10:52 PM • permalink

  171. I don’t think this story is finished yet…

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 10:53 PM • permalink

  172. #171
    Looks like Al’s headed for 3rd base ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:57 PM • permalink

  173. How embarrassing. I hate it when that happens. (*sits back down*) sorry everyone. sorry… where were we?

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 22 at 10:57 PM • permalink

  174. ... moonbase alfalfa ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  175. Premature exclamation in the audience ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 11:00 PM • permalink

  176. She braced herself for the impact as Al lumbered across the room and grabbed her.  He buried his face in her cleavage, feverishly kissing her breasts as he half-gasped, half-sobbed, “Gaia, my love, my love!  You came to me!  I knew it was you!  I knew my faith would be rewarded!  So primitive, so natural, so earthy - you ARE Gaia!” 

    She stood stock-still for a moment, then thought, “oh, what the hell - it’s no worse than that Glinda the Good Witch bit my last boyfriend liked.”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 11:07 PM • permalink

  177. #175

    Not to mention premature acclaimation.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 11:10 PM • permalink

  178. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 11:13 PM • permalink

  179. Pressing against him, she purred seductively, “Yes, it’s true.  I am Gaia, come to reward you for serving me so well.  I’m getting so hot and wet - are you ready to cool me, Al?”

    Al raised his flushed face to hers and whispered hoarsely, “Yes, my lady - anything you want - I am your slave!”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 11:17 PM • permalink

  180. #178

    ...and a harsh voice cawed, “Al!  AL!  Are you in there?  Al, it’s me!  Tipper!”

    “FUCK!”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 11:20 PM • permalink

  181. No, that’d be no fuck, no fuck at all.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 22 at 11:22 PM • permalink

  182. Standing ovation from the audience ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 11:24 PM • permalink

  183. Bill Clinton sneaks out of the wardrobe smoking a cigar, fellow Gaia gal in hand.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 11:27 PM • permalink

  184. She looked down at him in shock and dismay.  “Tipper?  Isn’t that your WIFE?  But, you said you weren’t with her any more!”

    Struggling to his feet, Al gasped, “Yes - I mean, no - I mean - aw, what the FUCK!  She doesn’t understand me like you do!  Wait in here, darlin’, while I get rid of her!”  He half-dragged, half-carried her to the walk-in closet and shut her in.  She considered shrieking at him, but then thought better of it.  There was no way in hell she could take Tipper in a fight.

    He hurried to the door and flung it open.  “Tipper!  Honey!  What are YOU doing here?”

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 11:27 PM • permalink

  185. Bill: “I say, Al, aren’t we supposed to be meeting this ‘Flannery’ fella soon?”

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 11:29 PM • permalink

  186. (*audience sits back down this time*)
    These false endings are a bitch.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 22 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  187. THREE HOURS LATER…

    He yanked open the closet door, rudely awakening her when she tumbled out. 

    “You SON OF A BITCH!”

    “Look, darlin’, I can explain…”

    “Explain WHAT, you BASTARD?  You said you didn’t LOVE her any more!  You said you weren’t WITH her any more!  You said I was your little granola girl!”

    “Listen… I can explain…”

    “Hot MONKEY LOVE?  Complete with MONKEY OUTFITS?  ‘Oh, Tipper - oh, baby - yeah, that’s it - suck that banana!’”

    “But…”

    “You fat PRICK!”

    “But.. but… but… oh, damn.”

    As she stormed out the door, Al sank heavily down on the bed.  He picked up his cell phone and dialed a familiar number. 

    “Hey, Bill?  You know how you were going to give me some pointers on getting a little on the side?  I think I’m going to take you up on that offer.”

    fin

    Sorry, Al - no hippie ass for you tonight.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 11:44 PM • permalink

  188. We could do a Flannery/Gore slash story, but that would just be nasty.  Ugh.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 22 at 11:45 PM • permalink

  189. Knock at the door:
    Flannery: “Al, have you finished with my monkey suits yet?”
    Al: “As soon as I can get ‘em off Bill ...”

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 22 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  190. Is it over? can I clap yet?

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 22 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  191. #190
    We’ll have to treat ‘em as a series of intermissions?

    Great work, sil!

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 23 at 12:00 AM • permalink

  192. yes, an awesome performance. *applause* (again).
    Bravo. Whooooo!

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 23 at 12:02 AM • permalink

  193. congrats especially to Blue State Sil, star of the show.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 23 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  194. #190 - daddy dave

    Yep, it’s over - Al’s heart has been broken again, and he has to resort to conference-call phone sex with Bill and Flannery.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 23 at 12:05 AM • permalink

  195. Well done Blue, that’s was an enchanting story.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 12:07 AM • permalink

  196. so that’s the final horror scene post-credits, huh? What a surprise twist.
    Man, this show had everything.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 06 23 at 12:07 AM • permalink

  197. *blushes* 

    Thanks, guys!  Not much of a bodice-ripper, alas, but still fun.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 23 at 12:12 AM • permalink

  198. Marg Fulton: “Tim, did you get the monkey suits?”
    Flannery: “Yeah, but they’ll have to go to the dry cleaners, these guys are animals!”

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 23 at 12:15 AM • permalink

  199. Excellent tale, although slightly disturbing.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 23 at 01:28 AM • permalink

  200. Glad that ended the way it did. I’d have thrown up if Al managed to deliver his power point presentation.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 06 23 at 02:22 AM • permalink

  201. *applause*

    Surely a { . . gasp!} grant from the Arts Council cannot be denied to Sil for that effort. Magnificent!

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 06 23 at 04:45 AM • permalink

  202. Oh, quick, someone take a screen shot…re: dolphins…

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 05:17 AM • permalink

  203. #202 Those dolphins must be awfully soggy by now.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 23 at 06:35 AM • permalink

  204. #203
    LOL Ash.
    I was looking to see if I could find any film of the Talisman Sabre exercise, ABC had some beaut film of aircraft landing in crappy weather on a US carrier which is on the exercise.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 06:51 AM • permalink

  205. #204 I haven’t seen it Kae, but I’ll keep an eye out for it.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 23 at 06:59 AM • permalink

  206. Another low pressure system is going to form off the east coast on Tuesday. So expect more wet weather in NSW.

    http://www.bom.gov.au/products/IDG00074.shtml

    And the Perth forecast is rain as far out as the forecast goes.

    Now all I need is for the Perth Water Corporation to stop running those stupid ‘Drying Climate’ ads.

    Posted by phil_b on 2007 06 23 at 07:01 AM • permalink

  207. #205
    It was on the ABC news at 7pm
    Lots of very nice MIUILFs*.

    *Men In Uniform….

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 07:03 AM • permalink

  208. I wonder if my G/F in Rocky has found herself a sailor or someone? I hear the talent up there is a bit, er, scarce.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 07:04 AM • permalink

  209. #206
    PhilB
    I dunno where you are, but it’s raining in SE Qld now. Has rained a bit today.
    And it’s cold as a mother-in-law’s kiss.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 07:05 AM • permalink

  210. der
    Nevermind, PhilB, I think I can guess… where you are.

    In the Climbat Change Affected West.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 07:07 AM • permalink

  211. PhilB
    thanks for the map, I did notice that rain was forecast for SE Qld next week for a day or so starting on Tuesday I thought.

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 23 at 07:11 AM • permalink

  212. #207 Hee hee, some of them are nice to gaze at.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 23 at 07:47 AM • permalink

  213. Test. Please ignore.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 06 24 at 10:00 PM • permalink

  214. Jeez, irrational number, don’t do that, you’ll make Andrea testy!

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 24 at 10:05 PM • permalink

  215. Page 1 of 1 pages

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