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WARMENING HAPPENING

The New York Times reports:

Tired of abuse by mankind, the earth is angry. Worse, the planet is out to even the score.

Audiences can expect a story along those lines when M. Night Shyamalan’s film “The Happening” reaches screens in the next year. The project, to which 20th Century Fox signed on last week, imagines a planet that is starting to act like the vigilante Travis Bickle from “Taxi Driver.”

Great. Can’t wait to see Earth hit on Cybill Shepherd. The director seems to detect a shift away from warming holiness:

He also changed a working title, “The Green Effect,” that might have seemed to put the film on a soapbox.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/12/2007 at 11:18 AM
  1. Didn’t Iowahawk already cover this after the tsunami? I think that his post was: “Sea Gods Angry” or something like that.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 03 12 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  2. “Tired of abuse by mankind, the earth is angry.”

    Hey, bitch, when I abuse you, you’ll take it, and LIKE it.

    The earth is angry, my ass.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 03 12 at 11:30 AM • permalink

  3. Tired of abuse by mankind, the earth is angry. Worse, the planet is out to even the score.

    Nothing like a return to good old anthropomorphic paganism!

    Audiences can expect a story along those lines when M. Night Shyamalan’s film “The Happening” reaches screens in the next year.

    Don’t tell me. It ends with a twist.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 03 12 at 11:31 AM • permalink

  4. “This science-fiction thriller posits a time when humans have exhausted their resources and resort to raiding other planets to survive.”

    Goddamn right.  There’s a whole universe out there, just waiting to be raped, pillaged and trashed.

    Let’s build some spaceships and get on with it!

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 03 12 at 11:33 AM • permalink

  5. Great. Can’t wait to see Earth hit on Cybill Shepherd.

    Assuming it likes older women.

    Posted by Craig Mc on 2007 03 12 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  6. Jodie Foster.  Travis Bickle liked ‘em young.

    Dave—“I look forward to the day when the white man, and the brown man, and the yellow man, and the black man, will come together in harmony to kick the shit out of the green man.”

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 03 12 at 11:35 AM • permalink

  7. Oh. I read this:

    Can’t wait to see Earth hit on Cybill Shepherd.

    as “Can’t wait to see the Earth hit Cybill Shepard.”  Now I’m disappointed.

    Posted by RyanOH on 2007 03 12 at 11:39 AM • permalink

  8. Feng shui westerns, the genre will be called.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 03 12 at 11:41 AM • permalink

  9. The NYT article is a perfect summary of why theatres have received exactly $12.00 from me in the past two years.

    Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 03 12 at 11:45 AM • permalink

  10. You talkin’ to me, Al? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to, Al? You talkin’ to me? Well we’re the only two planets here. You must be talkin’ to me.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 03 12 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  11. If Mr. Cameron and Mr. Shyamalan succeed, they may help extinguish a growing fear among Hollywood’s film writers that the best villains are all used up.

    Translation:  Most of Hollywood’s film writers have limited imagination, and have to copy trends to produce a script.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 03 12 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  12. *sigh*
    I hate Hollywood and all that dwells in it.
    An utter void of thought or talent.

    Can you imagine Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart or John Wayne jumping on this bandwagon?

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 03 12 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  13. Can you imagine Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart or John Wayne jumping on this bandwagon?

    They would have jumped on the bandwagon in order to kick the currenty crop of Hollywood idiots in the ass.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 03 12 at 12:00 PM • permalink

  14. I’m sure it will win a load of AKoolAids.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 03 12 at 12:04 PM • permalink

  15. Yeah, sentient rocks. The guy’s totally lost it.

    This is news? You never saw that stupid “aleeeeens is comin’!” film?

    Posted by mojo on 2007 03 12 at 12:21 PM • permalink

  16. I actually had a colleague suggest to me that the tsunami and hurricane Katrina were evidence of “the earth fighting back against man”.

    And no, I don’t work in a sheltered workshop.

    This guy is a senior analyst in Europe’s #1 investment bank.

    Posted by murph on 2007 03 12 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  17. The Earth would have to have a bunch of rocks in its head to hit on Cybil nowadays.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 12 at 12:28 PM • permalink

  18. Meanwhile, trees have completely surrounded my house. They’re just waiting to pounce, just when we least expect it.
    And right now out there it’s quiet. Too quiet….

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 03 12 at 12:32 PM • permalink

  19. If “The Happening” is anything like the last two pieces of movie crap that M. Night Shyamalan produced, no one is going to see it anyway.  Too bad, Shyamalan began his career with promise.  I see “The Happening” in Wal-Mart’s $1.99 DVD bin 6 months after release.  (And even at that price, it won’t sell.)

    Posted by Mark Razak on 2007 03 12 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  20. Hey - if Earth is Travis Bickle, what is Jody Foster’s equivalent?

    Posted by mojo on 2007 03 12 at 01:40 PM • permalink

  21. If Mr. Cameron and Mr. Shyamalan succeed, they may help extinguish a growing fear among Hollywood’s film writers that the best villains are all used up.

    Except for the ones they don’t dare touch, like for instance, Islamic terrorists.

    At the same time, Mr. Landau stressed that Mr. Cameron’s lifelong approach has been to treat social lessons as secondary to entertainment. “People who see the theme will get an important message” as something of a bonus, he said.

    Yes, thank you, because that’s why I watch movies, for the message I’m too stupid to figure out for myself by watching and reading news stories. [/sarc]

    But it also hints at the possibility of more sophisticated entertainment, and perhaps even the kind of impact that “The China Syndrome,” with Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas, exerted on the nuclear power industry when it came out in 1979.

    Oh, another big thank you, for crippling the development of nuclear energy and making us even more dependent on foreign oil.

    With Hollywood as the world’s friend, who needs enemies?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 03 12 at 01:56 PM • permalink

  22. ... imagines a planet that is starting to act like the vigilante Travis Bickle ...

    I thought that the earth is a female named Gaia.  Anyway, how about we re-do “The Shining” so that Gaia can chase Shelley Duvall?  That movie announcer guy could do the promos: “Gaia is angry—and this time, it’s personal.”

    Posted by Bill Ramey on 2007 03 12 at 02:30 PM • permalink

  23. They’re still giving him money to make stinkers? He’s a one hit wonder. The Sixth Sense was the only good movie he made. Everything else has been crap.

    Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 03 12 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  24. If Mr. Cameron and Mr. Shyamalan succeed, they may help extinguish a growing fear among Hollywood’s film writers that the best villains are all used up.

    I’m confused - is the earth the villain, or is it mankind? Because if it’s the latter, what’s new about that? And if it’s the former, GAIA WILL BE MAD, AND SURELY THE HEATHEN SHYAMALAN SHALL BE SMOTEN BY, ER, THE CLIMATE (OR SOMETHING)!

    Shyamalan better watch his human-lovin’ ass.

    Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 03 12 at 03:05 PM • permalink

  25. This science-fiction thriller posits a time when humans have exhausted their resources and resort to raiding other planets to survive.

    That doesn’t make a lick of sense. If we’re capable of inter-stellar travel, why aren’t we capable of manufacturing everything we need?

    How are the spaceships powered if we’ve run out of resources? if it’s cold fusion why do we still need resources?

    Why don’t we just find an uninhabited planet and colonise it, instead of wasting time (and, no doubt, altering the balance of energy with the rest of the universe) on enormous round trips finding and pillaging other planets?

    WHY DO I STILL CARE ABOUT HOLLYWOOD’S OUTPUT???

    Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 03 12 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  26. “The Happening” sounds like some mid-‘60s psychedelic comedy. Maybe Shyamalan should digitally paste-in Peter Sellers and David Hemmings for their walk-on cameos.

    Posted by Ed Driscoll on 2007 03 12 at 03:54 PM • permalink

  27. I’d like to point out that as a fan of M Night’s work, I don’t believe The Happening is going to be anti-global warming love-in.

    M Night’s work has always been an exploration of urban myth, legend and fantasy.

    As with all of his work, there are numerous subtexts which serve to skewer received opinion.

    Long story short - I would expect something more Michael Crichton than Al Gore.

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 03 12 at 04:07 PM • permalink

  28. Assuming it likes older women.

    This is going to be a lesbian MILF porn? Hmm.

    Posted by PW on 2007 03 12 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  29. Hmmm.

    Excellent!!

    I’ve been following Shyamalan’s career pretty closely and I must say that I’ve made it a point to avoid his movies whenever possible.

    So far I’m in the 100% avoided bracket and loving every minute of it.

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 03 12 at 04:36 PM • permalink

  30. Good news: if a dud like Shyamalan is directing this film, Gaia’s movie career will soon resemble David Caruso’s.  Pretty soon even Al Gore won’t be returning her calls.

    Sixth Sense was a freak hit, relying on a twist ending that would have made a nice little half-hour episode of Twilight ZoneUnbreakable should have been titled Unwatchable: it has a deeply creepy subtext (your son should only respect you if you have superpowers) and a ‘surprise’ ending that is nothing short of laughable.  Didn’t see Signs.  Didn’t see The Village, but I guessed its shock twist ending within seconds of watching the trailer, as would anyone who’s read a normal amount of sci-fi in their teens.  Didn’t see Lady in the water but it’s got the kind of bad reviews that should normally kill a director’s career.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2007 03 12 at 06:27 PM • permalink

  31. If I may continue: the scene is 2025, a rundown mansion in the Hollywood Hills.  An empty swimming pool holds nothing but dead leaves.  Inside, behind dusty slat blinds, Gaia sits, nursing her third martini of the morning.  Every flat surface is covered with photos of Gaia with Bono, with Al Gore, with Toni Collette.  Al Gore Junior, on the run from his probation officer, has accidentally stumbled on this fading star. 

    Gore Jr.: Say, I know you, you’re Gaia, you used to be big!

    Gaia: (angrily) I AM big!! It’s the PICTURES that got small!!

    Posted by cuckoo on 2007 03 12 at 06:33 PM • permalink

  32. They should just do a Frogs2?

    It could feature Gaia’s green thugs but this time with french accents.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 12 at 06:55 PM • permalink

  33. Igneous rock is angry rock.

    I recommend paper and then scissors.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 03 12 at 07:07 PM • permalink

  34. Oh. I read this:


      Can’t wait to see Earth hit on Cybill Shepherd.

    as “Can’t wait to see the Earth hit Cybill Shepard.” Now I’m disappointed.

    Funny, I read it as “Can’t wait to see Earth shit on Cybill Shepherd, and thought, “now there might be a movie worth paying to see.”

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 03 12 at 07:11 PM • permalink

  35. I want to see Gaiea with a mohawk, popping a cap into Harvey Keitel’s longhaired pimp ass.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 03 12 at 08:44 PM • permalink

  36. And I think M Night Shamalangadingdong’s a pretentious twerp, sent up mercilessly in Scary Movie 3 and 4. I picked that Bruce Willis was dead about ten minutes into 6th Sense, the Village was retarded and Signs had the most crap aliens I’ve ever encountered- what sort of interplanetary fuckheads invade a planet that’s 90% water (including the atmosphere ‘round h’yar) when H2O is corrosive to them? Christ on a pogo stick.
    Mel must have really been on the pop when he signed up for that gobbler.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 03 12 at 09:01 PM • permalink

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