<< DISSENT CRUSHED ~ MAIN ~ LOYALTY REWARDED >>
WAR ON WELFARE
Evil George Bush murdered an unemployed man:
Iraq’s deceased Al Qaida leader, Abu Musab Al Zarqawi, was registered for unemployment benefits in India, a recent report suggests.
A query has been ordered to certify how Al Zarqawi, who was killed in a US air strike in Iraq last week, came to be registered as an Indian resident.
To be fair to the guy, he was incompetent and unemployable. Remember the film of him unable to fire and reload his machine gun!
Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 06 19 at 06:20 AM • permalinkCapitalism killed this man. Our cruel Western economic policies are responsible for his not getting a technical customer service job in India, and therefore causing him to engage in a “revolution,” if you will, against our exploitative and even Gaia-killing hegemonic and xenophobic abuses.
This man was a Minuteman for freedom!
Well, that’s one way to shorten the dole queue.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 06 19 at 06:31 AM • permalinkBy the way, the FAQ rocks. Short, sweet and to the point (I’m managing the Department of Redundancy Department for the next couple of weeks).
Well done, guys.
Back to your regular programming.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 06 19 at 06:37 AM • permalinkWe better beware of the exodus of terrorist dole-bludgers from India into Pakistan. Clearly social benefits are good for terrorists: they can make bombs with the money.
Posted by The Best Infidel on 2006 06 19 at 06:40 AM • permalinkI think AlGore is responsible: didn’t Apple, on whose board AlGore sits, just close their Tech Call Center in India, thus putting the ZMan out of work?
See? Al is tough on terror!
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 06 19 at 07:57 AM • permalinkIf only he’d been a smoker. He might have come across one of those matchbooks that advertise courses in correspondence school. Instead of chopping heads, he might have chopped motorcycles. Instead of ambushing trucks, he might have learned to drive one. How much better the world would have been if he had learned the art of selling automobiles, instead of serving as a wowser among ululating desert dunderheads.
Perhaps some poor loser in Lucknow just decided to use a fake name to double dip on the dole, like one of those New Orleans residents who gave an address in the middle of Lake Pontchartrain to get a second helping of “relief.” The same system gaming guy might have already lost his extra support under the name Yassir Arafat, but may still be collecting as Elvis Presley.
Why does this surprise? Haven’t we always been told that poverty is the root cause of terrorism?
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 19 at 11:11 AM • permalink#14
If only he’d been a smoker. He might have come across one of those matchbooks that advertise courses in correspondence school.
He tried that, paco, but he kept on cutting the head off of the clown instead of drawing the clown’s head.
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 19 at 12:39 PM • permalink#13"He sounds a bit like my dick, unemployed”
I hope you like this joke then.
...
The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!
“You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving this house, I want a divorce!”
The husband replies “Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened”
“Hmmm, I don’t know, well it’ll be the last thing I will hear from you, but make it fast, you unfaithful pig you”
The husband begins to tell his story . . . “While driving home this young lady asks for a ride. I saw her so defenceless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed, and very dirty.
She mentioned that she had not eaten for 3 days. With great compassion and hurt, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll gain weight; the poor thing, practically devours them.
Since she was very dirty I asked her to take a shower.
While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw her clothes away.
Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had for a few years, which you can no longer wear because they are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.
I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co -worker wearing the same pair.”
The husband continues his story . . . .
“The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.
When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of her
eyes, she asks me:
“Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?”Foolish Zarqawi - he should have simply signed up in London. I am sure Red Ken would have ordered the clerks to expedite the paperwork…
BTW - burrah, that was fantastic - I shall use that joke whenever possible.
Posted by Major John on 2006 06 19 at 02:16 PM • permalink#21: If only this tendency toward cutting things up could have been directed into more productive channels. For example, Paco’s Taxidermy Shop is really doing a land office business in
polar bear rugsdeep pile white throw rugs as a result of the efforts of the P.A.C.O. B.E.A.R.s’ to haul these pasty bruins from the ocean. And I could always use another apprentice.I blame Dubya’s No Child Left Behind Act for putting this eminently qualified individual out of work.
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Are all terrorists this stupid? The dole in Lucknow is worth Rs 500, or AUD14.75, per month. If you’re going to scam the dole, at least do it in a place where it’s worth while…