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VEGEMITE CLASSIC
Just make it, Kraft. Please.
# 1 - there is just no answer to that! (Not without a hefty law suit methinks)
Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 22 at 08:26 PM • permalinkBack O/T - there is nothing like heaps of good ole vegemite on hot buttered crumpets…....brings tears to me eyes that does.
Posted by surfmaster on 2006 12 22 at 08:27 PM • permalinkAnd that was just from eating it.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 12 22 at 08:37 PM • permalink...your fine range of edible substances.
To the best of my knowledge, no Kraft product has ever been edible. Without meaning to sound harsh, Vegemite ain’t gonna help.
Posted by Don't Bogart that Midget, Comrade! on 2006 12 22 at 08:55 PM • permalinkDBtM,C
I do believe Kraft’s products are edible. They’re just not digestible.
Posted by David Crawford on 2006 12 22 at 09:00 PM • permalinkI’m in shock, we are surrounded by conspiracies, and now this conspiracy to make us healthy.
Anyway, it’s crap. Currently in Aus and probably USofA, we are facing iodine shortages. That’s right folks, we need to be eating iodised sale in loads. Last year had a wee thyroid problem, and officially from my doctor I can gorge on salt, as long as it’s iodised. Which was really cool, cos I’d never cut back on salt anyway.
So, was the old recipe using iodised salt?
In the spirit of the festive season, let me share with you a magnificent Christmas tip.
Glazed Vegemite Turkey.
Basically, take your traditional roast turkey receipe, but, 10 minutes before its cooked, add a large dollop of vegemite to the cooking bag, or pan, or however you do it.
Then, when out of the oven and ‘resting’, take the rest of the Vegemite and rub it into the bird and lastly, pour the vegemite laden pan juices over it; it will have a nice black glaze, just like well polished boots.
The results are sensational. The kids will sy ‘Yum, mom.’ Merry Christmas!
(At our place, we have goose for Christmas dinner.)
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 22 at 09:04 PM • permalinkI am not a young man, Irene.
In fact, I’ll shortly be of an age at which I intend to enter a second childhood, albeit without fully emerging from my first.
1. Dammit, Blair, I’m older than you. Don’t say things like that.
2. One of the funniest pieces I’ve ever read. Let us know if you hear back from Irene!
Brilliant. I speak as one who, on getting the fish and chips home, immediately adds more salt.
I remember the old Vegemite. Lovely. It was all downhill after a campaign by, among others, the Australian Consumers Association (one of the most vicious anti-business lobby groups in the country). Apparently one and two year olds were being overloaded with salt from Vegemite.
Further, this three-decade long scare campaign about dietary salt is a load of rubbish. It’s the same mindset (and as scientific) as glorbal wooming.
There is a good history of the unfounded salt scare at The (Political) Science of Salt—
So what’s the problem? For starters, salt is a primary determinant of taste in food—fat, of course, is the other—and 80% of the salt we consume comes from processed foods, making it difficult to avoid. Then there’s the kicker: While the government has been denouncing salt as a health hazard for decades no amount of scientific effort has been able to dispense with the suspicions that it is not. Indeed, the controversy over the benefits, if any, of salt reduction now constitutes one of the longest running, most vitriolic, and surreal disputes in all of medicine.
It opens with a warning from Thomas Huxley, writing in 1860, which the glowbill wormers would do well to heed:
“Science ... warns me to be careful how I adopt a view which jumps with my preconceptions, and to require stronger evidence for such belief than for one to which I was previously hostile. My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonize with my aspirations.”
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 12 22 at 09:22 PM • permalinkI used to love vegemite soup like mum used to make.
I could never figure out why I couldn’t make any as yummy.
Now I know. Thank you, Tim. Please append my name to your letter.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 22 at 09:46 PM • permalinkI didn’t realise the recipe had changed. And I’m an old fogey, too.
Cream of chicken soup has also changed over the years. Heinz used to be great, with tiny pieces of carrot, it tasted like the babyfood chicken dinner. Yummy. But not for years has it tasted like that. Now I know why, the salt nazis. Packet cream of chicken soup used to be delicious. It’s now extremely ordinary.
And you know, even if the food is still piled with salt, the taste isn’t the same.
C.L. Isn’t that how they make Guinness?
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 22 at 10:30 PM • permalinkOT, but if we can believe this website David Hicks is living a life of unparalled luxury. On the other hand, he appears to have aged terribly.
So that’s what happened?
What a relief. All these years I’ve thought it was because they started nuking the stuff at the checkout.
In April 1984, a 115g jar of Vegemite makes grocery store history by becoming the first product to be electronically scanned at the checkout in a supermarket in Australia. It was scanned in Woolworths at Chullora NSW and the price was 66 cents.
They recently removed some “bad” additives from many of the packet pasta meals in supermarkets. My missus makes me drive an extra 50km to pick up the good stuff now.
Made the stuff much blander.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 12 23 at 12:38 AM • permalinkBloody hell! I just thought my taste buds had died from eating the stuff.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 12 23 at 01:02 AM • permalink#34 Grimmy
Bad timing for the little one though :( Much better to have birthdays as far from Christmas as possible, both ways of the calender. Makes it easier or the parents to recover between gift buying events and helps increase the youngin’s haul.
Speaking as a December baby myself, I can attest to the truth of that.
:^(
My sister, however, has it pegged: June 25th.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 12 23 at 01:40 AM • permalink#13 Aussie, #14 Paco, Having worked for Coca-Cola for 21 years—straight out of college—before retiring (Area Vice-Prez) to take care of kiddos I can tell you I personally missed the cocaine with my 70+ hr work weeks.
#8 SCD: Christmas menu from Austin: Finest Prime rib, horseradish sauce; twice-baked potatoes; glazed carrots with butter/brown sugar; brussels sprouts in garlic, olive oil and chicken broth, finished with butter and lemon; Woldorf salad; homemade rolls; crudite plate. Various desserts baked by family (I am not a baker, I am a cook).
Best part: My husband’s excellent family got here tonight and are moving in for a couple of weeks. They fill in for my poor baking skills.
Can’t wait! Damn, I love the holidays. Young socialist son (14) playing the piano, princess daughter (9)whining and drawing beautiful pictures. Ain’t life grand??
Posted by Kathy from Austin on 2006 12 23 at 01:56 AM • permalinkOK, let’s get to basics here. How exactly does Vegemite Fan eat this stuff? Is it merely a spread for bread or do you put it on other things? Does a “Vegemite sandwich” just consist of 2 pieces of bread with a layer of Vegemite in between, or is it used more like mustard? And do MacDonald’s in Australia have Vegemite-based products?
Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2006 12 23 at 02:36 AM • permalinkThe biggest problem that seppos (our US friends) face with Vegemite is that they try and spread it like peanut butter on bread. It should be applied more like hot mustard, with the thickness increasing as you develop an Australian-style jones for it. It can be used for flavouring for gravy and is excellent made into a broth - or my breakfast favourite, bread, butter and vegemite all mixed together with hot water to make a sort of spicy porridge. No, Maccas have only gone so far as to put pickled beetroot on some burgers (see the archives for the disgust people who put pickled cucumber on their burgers feel about that.) Kraft does make snack packs with vegemite flaovoured biscuits and cheese spread.
ah the mystery of ‘why the vegemite doesnt spread like it used to when i waa a kid’ solved at last- thanks tim
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 23 at 03:12 AM • permalink#21CL., I don’t remember the label having a recipe for a vegemite beverage, but my mum used to dissolve a heaped teaspoon of the stuff into boiling water for a bit of a drink.
And vegemite soup consited of a dessert spoon of the stuff dissolved into a bowl of boiling water. Bread was optional but usually added.
38.SezaGeoff, never thought of adding butter to the mix, but that sounds great.
As for how to eat it? My preference is for fresh baked white bread, with loads of butter smeared/trowelled on, followed by a layer of vegemite. The vegemite can’t be too thick, or it counterracts the butter.
On toast, just enough vege to spice it up. Again, I like lots of butter.
Bugger my arteries - my cholesterol is low, and I’m over the foodfascists telling me what and how to eat.
#42. Not being a seafood eater, I can’t say I’ve tried that one. Vegemite and cheese is good, though. Peanut butter and vegemite not so good.
I love vegemite. It is an important food group.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 23 at 04:06 AM • permalinkStaples of the school lunch box were—
1. Vegemite and celery sandwiches
2. Vegemite and lettuce sandwiches
3. Vegemite and processed cheese sandwiches.I’m still partial to the latter but using Coon.
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 12 23 at 06:04 AM • permalinkWent shopping for Christmas things this morning - very early so as to get a parking space - too early for the holidaying, sleeping-in son (who came along with me) to get his breakfast first. So what did we do? Went along to the Baker’s Delight place and got him a cheesymite scroll. Bread dough smeared with Vegemite, sprinkled with cheese, then twisted, rolled and baked. Lovely!
My favourite is toast, buttered liberally when hot and then spread with the delicious black stuff. Yummy, fatty, yeasty, apparently not so salty any more, goodness.
My mother used to do two types of sandwiches for school. One was meat (off the Sunday roast - must have been a whopper to feed 3 kids for a week) and tomato (gak! soggy!). The other was ... vegemite and celery!
She also, very occasionally, did something with sultanas but that was too occasional for me to remember what the accompaniment, if any, was.
Never tried vegemite and celery. Could be good, though.
The rugrat gets vegemite sangas for lunch near every day, and she’s as happy as the proverbial with that.
As for food groups? I like the top 3 vitamins:
Vitamin A - alcohol
Vitamin B - booze
Vitamin C - chocolate.Anything else is nice but not necessary.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 23 at 06:34 AM • permalinkMy sister brought back a jar of Vegemite from her trip to OZ three years ago. It wasn’t near as nasty as I was led to believe. On what is called an “English muffin” (something like a crumpet) here in the States, toasted and buttered, it wasn’t half bad. A bit salty, though.
And that was the “Lite” stuff. I can only imagine what the original was like…
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 12 23 at 06:43 AM • permalinkVegemite is an acquired taste, and it would seem I acquired it too late. All these years on some inferior, salt-reduced impostor! Still, not bad. Really want to try the genuine article now.
And don’t worry, guys, the evidence for salt being dangerous is weak as child’s piss.
#48, 50. Wild Turkey! $32 at our local bottle-o.
No one should drink Bonox. As far as I know the manufacturer is a British company and you never know what scrapie infested sheep carcasses British cows have been fed, along with chook poop, other offal and wee bits of grass or grain.
But a teaspoon or two of vegemite dissolved in hot water tastes just as good and, being derived from yeast, has no connection whatsoever with brain destroying prions.
#54 Dminor
Wild Turkey Rare Breed, and I might agree.
Maybe. ;^)
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 12 23 at 07:01 AM • permalink#47, 50, 54, 56:
Of course, if I really had my druthers, it’d be Pure Grain Alcohol - Everclear (tm)
But I see they’ve diluted that too, from the 98% when I used to buy it at the PX, to 95% now. Sheeesh, the reductionists gotta mess with everything.
PS I dont prefer pure grain as some Tough Guy thing but because it produces less hangover and you get a whoppin lot better bang for the buck. That stuff really can stand up to a good bit of dilution with pickle juice.
I grew up eating it, and was one of a few thousand soldiers who asked to have it put in our one man ration packs. Now we get it, it’s like gold. I’ve deployed with a guy once who doesn’t like it at all, and that was just brilliant, I’d trade the dodgy cheese in a can for it any day. Due to the nature of work sometimes, we would carry only the minimum of food, cutting down our ration packs, but Vegemite is the first thing to go in. Just reminds me of home and family, I guess, and hell, I love the taste. :)
Listen up you bunch of wise-ass Skippies! We’ve got da formula.
If ya likes your Vegemite da way ya likes it, you’ll do exactly like we sez.
Deliver one million smackers in unmarked bills to da corner of foist and second street in downtown Chicago on da twenty-toid of dis month, nineteen toity-somethin’. Before noon. Tell
Mr PacoBig Al dat Splice sent ya.Eeeda dat… or ya little Vegemite pal is gonna be sleepin’ wit da fishes.
#65 Splice: Damn, someone has our formula, the secret to being Aussie. That’s it, John Howard must declare war, we don’t negotiate with terrorists, mate, or condimentists either, for that matter. Prepare for several thousand elite airborne wallabies to turn up on your front lawn, if you don’t immediately return our national treasure.
Grimmy @ 60:
Is he a vegimeteran?
Sorry to be a pedant, but the correct toerm is “a happy little vegemite”
and Dminor:
We’ll need period clothing, tommy guns, a suitcase full of shredded newspaper weighing like a million US dollars from the Depression, and some really forced accents.
What about the blonde!? Ya gotta have a sultry blonde with big, er, assets. There’s never a pneumatic blonde around when you need one. How about one of Paco’s secretaries?
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 23 at 08:28 AM • permalinkwalterplinge @49:
Staples of the school lunch box were—
1. Vegemite and celery sandwiches
2. Vegemite and lettuce sandwiches
3. Vegemite and processed cheese sandwiches.Check, check, check. But mate, what about the vegemite worms oozing through the cracker biscuits?
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 23 at 08:44 AM • permalinkLate to the party BUT…
If Salt wasn’t good…
One…Would ‘they’ have named a major U.S. City after it?
Two…Would Lots wife have been turned into a pillar of it?
Three…Would ‘they’ have used it for a method of payment at one time?
Four…Would are Oceans be loaded with it, thereby producing some of the finest creatures for ingesting, with drawn butter?
Five…Would salt be part of human physiology?
Six…Some say humans evolved from the Oceans, be that the case, would we now be typing and sending (to use an iowahawk word) STUFF, via something al-gore invented?
I rest my case…Writing this has made me thristy.
Tim, keep the good fight going and shall we start making banners for the protests?
Id prefer a firey redhead myself, sassy with a mean streak a mile wide, the kind of dame that by the time you stopped staring where she was, shed allready gone…
What did they used to call the guns? Chicago organs?, Ukilalies?, Wurlitzers? Im sure Ill get it right one day.
If were talking 1930’s hoods who is the henchman with a face like a torn up sandshoe?
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 12 23 at 08:59 AM • permalink(cough, cough) erm, El Cid, um… I was thinking something more along the lines of Mae West (for the vintage) but the lass on the left I think would fit the bill.
(checks back just to be sure)
Yes, I’m sure she can type.
(checks back one more time)
Golly. I think the Vegemite formula is in the bag.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 23 at 09:00 AM • permalink75
77You buggers! I spend 5 minutes typing a half-witty comment and you BOTH beat me to it
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 12 23 at 09:01 AM • permalinkWell, OK, it looks like you guys are set, but I notice we are still waiting for the Tardis. Typical. If there are 2 things wronwright will always be late for, and they are threads on cricket and vegemite.
While we are waiting, do you mind if I interview the blonde, to see if she is up to
massage,ticklescratch?Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 23 at 09:08 AM • permalinkI get it, Ill be the dumb lush who tries to be a smart ass to the hero while holding what is supposed to be the money, only to find it was switched with the newspaper! Thats what you get for being a little slow off the mark I suppose…
/Grumble, off to bed, no one likes me, everybody hates me, think Ill go and eat worms…
kae, By the sounds of that yoohoo a redhead is in the room?
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 12 23 at 09:09 AM • permalinkWe’re unhappy little Vegemites as sad and mad can be,
We don’t enjoy our Vegemite for breakfast, less salty,
And marmite’s ooze stuff promite,
ee-lectric dickies’ shit is weak,Because we loved our Vegemite,
We want that old school Vegemite,It’s lots more sod- i- um we seek!
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 23 at 10:21 AM • permalinkAlthough of all the ex-colonies, we feel perhaps the closest similarity (or kinship) with Australia, I fear that vegemite will always be a rift between us.
God eats peanut butter.
Posted by rightwingprof on 2006 12 23 at 11:08 AM • permalinkPeanut butter? Eh, all dis rudeness! Two-tousand and somethin’ and nobody’s got no respect no more.
Dat ain’t no way to do business, I’m goin’ back.
Yeah, dat’s right, I’m goin’ back to a time when people knew da value of
intimidation and stand-over tacticsrespect.And knowledge. Take Vegemite… now, dat’s knowledge.
Where’s my ride? Wronwright!!!
185600, one of the items in every US military MRE meal package is a tiny bottle of Tabasco sauce. Tabasco sauce is a miracle liquid. A person can make anything edible by applying a generous dose of Tabasco.
(MRE = Meals, Ready to Eat? No, more like Meals Rejected by Ethiopians.)
Posted by David Crawford on 2006 12 23 at 11:41 AM • permalinkthere is nothing like heaps of good ole vegemite on hot buttered crumpets…....
But they really wiggle and squeal when you try to spread it…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 23 at 11:43 AM • permalinkDavid Crawford—what did you expect? John Kerry’s company makes them.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 23 at 11:44 AM • permalinkjcc7033
Forgive the manners displayed here (well mine, anyway)...but you know between Vegemite (and I’m not an Aussie) and mammaries, (and we are all Aussies..lol) us knuckle dragger’s just get…well, knuckle dragging.
Thanks to Paco, he reminded me of your wonderful event…A raised glass of champagne to Reagan.
Re #8, SCD, that sounds like a receipe to make a plastic turkey!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 12 23 at 12:43 PM • permalinkWhat the? People, the Tardis is not the Polar Express. It’s only used for TOP SECRET missions for Karl Rove in the pursuit of glory, riches, and power.
NOT VEGEMITE!
MarkL, take those suitcases out of the Tardis. We have to go back to 3000 BC Stonehendge. Karl wants some roasted auk. Better bring some druid robes. And get some weaponry out of my arsenal. That is, any that banfinger hasn’t already filched.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 12 23 at 01:57 PM • permalinkNot worthy of a brief moment to traverse space and time? Top secret missions only? Why, back in the 1930s Americans were quick to realize that Vegemite was a unique and versatile substance.
By the time Kraft secured the rights to this quirky Australian innovation, Vegemite had been used as a truth serum, a pesticide, an anti-wrinkle skin care cream, a substitute for soy sauce and as a lubricant to repack badly-worn wheel bearings.
It wasn’t until the Atomic tests of the 1950s that this seemingly innocuous yeast paste revealed its truly astounding properties. It was found to be an instant antidote to the clinical symptoms that journalists reported experiencing of the effects of radiation poisoning. What’s more, it exceeded the most reflective tin foil hats of the time in protecting against harmful Zionist space rays and ambient Crusader chatter.
Anyway, take heart Australia. Except for politically correct salt adjustments, there is no chance that Kraft will change the formula of Vegemite anytime soon, not least because they still do not understand the complexity of its composition.
Secret testing of Vegemite continues at a remote location somewhere in the Nevada desert.
Just finished breakfast. Simulated Vegemite Classic by sprinkling table salt on my toasted bread roll + Vegemite. A success.
Supermarket displays: Promite, Marmite, &c: half a shelf down near the bottom. Vegemite: 3 or 4 shelves (half a bay almost) with pack sizes ranging from 1kg to plastic travel-tubes. After Coke and Pepsi I reckon Vegemite must have the most shelf-space for a single product. It is never ‘on special’.
Posted by walterplinge on 2006 12 23 at 06:16 PM • permalinkSodium Chloride is pure, white, immaculate and incorruptible.
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 12 23 at 06:43 PM • permalinkWe’re happy little vegemites as bright as bright can be,
We all enjoy our american vegemite for breakfast lunch and tea..Our president says we’re growing stronger every single week cause we love our american vegemite we all adore our veggi-american might it puts a rose in every cheek.
Sing song time everyone!!
Very, very disappointing, wronwright. (And we notice you didn’t try to off-load the pneumatic blonde we supplied for the mission.)
Very disappointed in you…. You really need to be able to read the subtlty into some of Lord Rove’s commands. Its obvious that he wanted the Vegemite rescued - and splice spelled it out for you anyway.
And also, I’m sure Rove has already taken the phone call from his
matebuddy John HoWARd this morning and the Tradis will be made available for the Vegemite Resuce Mission.After all, what are allies-in-arms for?
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 23 at 07:13 PM • permalinkSteveH—“Crumpet” is a perfectly well know British coloquialism. What are you, from Niagara Falls or something?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 12 23 at 08:56 PM • permalinkHmmmm.
Vegemite?
...
This comment intentionally left blank.
Posted by memomachine on 2006 12 23 at 09:32 PM • permalinkHmmmm.
What’s the difference between Erotic and Kinky?
Erotic: sexy, as in Kathy Ireland in skimpy nightwear.
Kinky: wierd, as in Roseanne Barr in skimpy nightwear.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go wash out my brain with some lye soap.
Posted by memomachine on 2006 12 23 at 09:33 PM • permalink<and the crowd goes wild!>
Announcer 1: Whazat Jim? What are they saying?
Announcer 2: Hold on, yeah, I can hear it, their jumping up and down and chanting…whazat they’re saying Joe?
Announcer 1: Let me stick my head out the sound proof booth for a better listen.
<sound of ruslting and random sounds of a man getting up from his seat and crossing a room with microphone in hand…squeeek of a door opening and…>
TUBGIRL! TUBGIRL! TUBGIRL!
<door slamms shut>
Announcer 2: I’m callig SWAT. Those folk are insane!
Announcer 1: umm, I’ll be here under the desk.
Not risking attention from Banfinger with that one.
I showed a mate of mine that a couple of weeks ago. Would you believe he hadnt seen either her or Goatse in his 10 or so years on the internet.
I dont know if he will ever go on the net again by his rather revolted reaction.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 12 23 at 11:43 PM • permalinkHmmm… I was going to ask about Tubgirl but perhaps I’d better not.
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 12 24 at 12:07 AM • permalink#137- too late grimmy
my curiousity got the better of me after your last post
i hope i recover my appetite in time for christmas lunch tomorrow :)
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2006 12 24 at 01:52 AM • permalinkDid bread go the same way as Vegemite? As a teenager growing up in the 70s, I always enjoyed the crust from the sliced loaf. These days it always tastes like crap, regardless of whether it’s the cheap “breadshop” stuff, or the supermarket branded variety. Did bread recipes hit the same PC troubles in the 80s?
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 12 24 at 03:31 AM • permalink#135 Frollicking, since I got a bit of a description of tubgirl here, I’ve not had the slightest desire to check her out. Managed to avoid goatse man, also.
Of course, I did have the misfortune to see the .avi of a woman and a horse. Not something I’d recommend. Luckily for the friend who sent me that piece of (insert extreme profanity here) I am still speaking with her.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 12 24 at 04:47 AM • permalinkNilknarf Arbed
“Of course, I did have the misfortune to see the .avi of a woman and a horse.”
Not as unfortunate as the lady in question was Id imagine…
Nah we tend to have a “who can find the worst thing on the net” every couple of months or so. There are some odd people in the world, many I wouldnt shake hands with unless my rabies shots were up to date.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 12 24 at 04:59 AM • permalink
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Was Elton John eating the new stuff or did someone slip him some of the salty, old stuff?