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TURKEY ROLL

For 1,001 days—or 1,000, depending on your timezone—George W. Bush’s plastic turkey has ruled the global mediascape, from the Guardian to Pravda and the ABC, from the Sydney Morning Herald to the New York Times. This mighty bird, feasting on rich crops of gullibility and ignorance, may outlive the Bush administration. For as long as there are those who believe, the plastic turkey will remain forever real! To celebrate our turkey’s grim milestone, here’s a list of the Eternal Turkey Faithful:

image Al Franken

image Nick Grimm

image Ted Rall

image Naomi Klein

image Frank Rich

image Charles P. Pierce

image Linda S. Heard

image Pyotr Romanov

image Mick Youther

image Richard L. Berke

image Ward Reilly

image Michael Organ

image Ben Tripp

image Evelyn Pringle

image Suzanne Malveaux

image Mark Engler

image Phillip Adams

image Michael Hopping

image Washington Dispatch

image Mary Potratz

image Robert Dreyfuss

image Wonkette

image Moderate Independent

image Ghali Hassan

image Neil Mitchell

image Michael Moore

image Thomas Hauser

image AFP

image Margaret Carlson

image Kathleen Ferris

image Scott Horton

image David Rossie

image Eric Alterman

image David Lindorff

image Max Brantley

image Joey Luna

image Howard Dean

image Saul Landau

image Tom Barberi

image Cindy Sheehan

image Matt Taibbi

image Mike Whitney

image Kevin Zeese

image Mark Morford

image Howard Kurtz

image A.L. Kennedy

image Jeff Alworth

image Irving Wesley Hall

image Colleen Redman

image Heather Wokusch

image An unnamed Bay Area editorialist

image Linwood Barclay

image Daniel Patrick Welch

image Antonio Yegles

image Yamin Zakaria

image Joel Stein

image Collins Ezeanyim

image Ian McNamara
image William Rivers Pitt

image Dr. Fakhruddin Ahmed

image Gregg Easterbrook

image Alan Ramsey

image Mark Lawson

image Alec Russell

image Buddy Grizzard

image Jon Bon Jovi

image John Kerry

image David Sirota

image Ernest Dumas

image Marc Perkel

image Patricia Ernest

image Kevin Dawson

The list of corrections isn’t quite as long. By the way, unexpected work complications ate into plans for a more substantial turkey celebration; we may have to time something for the third anniversary, on December 6.

Posted by Tim B. on 08/30/2006 at 11:24 AM
  1. The ignorance demonstrated by the above is distracting us from a new terrorist threat.

    Posted by paco on 2006 08 30 at 11:44 AM • permalink

  2. Unfortunately my celebrations got sidetracked as well, tim. I’ll try and grill some of the ones I have tonight!

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 08 30 at 11:47 AM • permalink

  3. I think this answers the question of what Tim is going to do with his free time, now that the Bulletin gig is over.

    Prevaricators of the world beware.

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 08 30 at 11:51 AM • permalink

  4. #1 paco:

    Think the farmer’s going to really enjoy giving ‘Muhammed’ the chop? I suspect so.
    Turkeys not shown in the photo:
    -‘Michael Moore’ (plenty for everyone!)
    -‘Ken Livingstone’ (rather stringy, bright red feathers)
    -‘Mother-In-Law’(very noisy bird)

    Posted by Rob C. on 2006 08 30 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  5. My brethren! harken unto me!!

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 08 30 at 12:05 PM • permalink

  6. #4: Oh, yeah; Muhammed will be the first to go. I tremble when I think of the backlash.

    I have a friend who told me that his grandfather, when he prepared the Thanksgiving turkey every year, would place the anus on somebody’s plate, at random, just to see if it got eaten. Looks like the opiners listed above have sort of done the equivalent.

    Posted by paco on 2006 08 30 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  7. Has anyone tracked down the vendor which provides a plastic fake turkey which is cost effective compared to a roasted real one?

    Posted by triticale on 2006 08 30 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  8. #7 Are you talking about Polymer Avian Comestibles Online?

    Posted by paco on 2006 08 30 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  9. I was certain that George Galloway would have made the list.

    Wait, maybe Galloway is o the UK list. I shall search.

    Paco
    This is not good, for it seems that “Muhammed” is a sleeper, already in the States

    US Post: Turkey Census, American Livestock Breeds Conservancy, PO Box 477, Pittsboro, NC 27312

    Thank you!

    Yours, sincerely,

    Marjorie Bender

    Research & Technical Program Manager

    Although Marjorie Bender is a great name for someone who presents “Muhammed”.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 08 30 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  10. Nope, no George, nor Galloway, exists on the Turkey Club UK.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 08 30 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  11. Mmmmmmm…turkey club.

    Posted by Sean M on 2006 08 30 at 01:07 PM • permalink

  12. Happy Plastic Turkey Day, everyone!

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 08 30 at 01:15 PM • permalink

  13. I suppose that you could make a club out of a plastic turkey. or a frozen real one.

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 08 30 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  14. Say, does plastic turkey include plastic gravy, and plastic stuffing?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 08 30 at 01:31 PM • permalink

  15. I have 3 plastic turkeys at home. I will boil one and grill the other tonight; any suggestions on cooking the 3rd?

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 08 30 at 02:10 PM • permalink

  16. #15 -

    Fajitas.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 08 30 at 02:13 PM • permalink

  17. Do what they do to Bush in the press and lambaste it

    Posted by Blue Hen on 2006 08 30 at 02:48 PM • permalink

  18. Plastic turkey is for the birds

    Posted by jlc on 2006 08 30 at 03:02 PM • permalink

  19. 1. It was a real turkey. 2. It was a real turkey. 3. It was a real turkey prepared mainly for decorative purposes, but it was a real turkey.

    But what I’ve never fully understood is, why was it necessary for President Bush to pick up said real turkey and parade it around the room like that? Can you imagine *any* of his predecessors (including his father) doing the same thing???

    Posted by MrBuddwing on 2006 08 30 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  20. You know, I’ve never read that he “paraded it around the room”, except by commentators that also insisted the turkey was plastic. Everybody else simply stated that Bush lifted up the plate and had a couple of pictures taken.

    Posted by PW on 2006 08 30 at 04:39 PM • permalink

  21. Wasn’t “Mr Buddwing” a movie about a guy with no memory?

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 08 30 at 05:03 PM • permalink

  22. Yep, that’s a nice list of plastic turkeys, for sure.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 08 30 at 05:18 PM • permalink

  23. MrBuddwing may not be familiar with the long-held military tradition that the officers serve the troops on Christmas Day.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2006 08 30 at 05:32 PM • permalink

  24. What, no Mike Carlton?
    That’s impossible.
    He fell for the Ambulance Israeli Missile Hoax lock stock and smokin’ barrels -
    Sydney Morning Herald (Mike Carlton column), July 29: Please explain, too, why an Israeli missile slammed with deadly accuracy into the unmistakeable red cross atop a Lebanese civilian ambulance.

    I find it impossible that he didn’t parrot the words of others regarding the Great Plastic Turkey Hoax. He always parrot’s the stuff he reads from other looney lefties.

    Surely he did on this occasion too….

    Posted by Bonmot on 2006 08 30 at 05:45 PM • permalink

  25. Saw this on the FP Passport blog, the last link in the short list of corrections:

    Fake Show turkeys: The faux bird that accompanied Bush on his first surprise trip to Iraq in 2003 is left home alone. (Yes, the turkey was real. Thanks to everyone who wrote in about that. But no one ate it. It was a decoration.)

    Does this mean the story was “Fake, but fake.”

    Posted by WCRS on 2006 08 30 at 06:05 PM • permalink

  26. Having got dragooned into doing a job to help somebody out temporarily, I had to settle for turkey sandwiches tonight instead of the vast feast I’d planned.  But you say I can put that off until December 6? Well, awriiight!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 08 30 at 06:15 PM • permalink

  27. Kinda OT but not really…

    A few months after losing Australian journalism’s answer to Eddie the Eagle Edwards, Richard Carleton, 60 Minutes has hired a journalist with all the attributes to fill his shoes: Jonathan Harley

    Described in the Daily Telegraph today as “one of the ABC’s most respected journalists” Mr Harley distinguished himself shortly after 9/11 in Pakistan by turning up at media conferences every day to ask an increasingly bemused ambassador for the Taliban whether or not Australia was a terrorist target.

    After many days asking the same question he eventually got the answer he was looking for , broadly in the affirmative. This was subsequently a big news story that was no doubt picked up enthusiastically by potential terrorists across Australia and internationally.

    While I haven’t followed his other work too closely, more recently I saw a story he did for the 7.30 Report about the technology company Silex. It was full of inaccuracies pretty much lifted from a Greenpeace media release and utilising the usual crowd of Greepeace Suggested Experts that the ABC uses on such matters

    Comically he performed his stand-up in front of the fence of ANSTO at Lucas Heights, trying to imply that Silex has something to do with ANSTO and that it is tucked away from public view.

    If he had taken the time to ask the helpful ladies at ANSTO reception they could have pointed him in the direction of Silex, which is about 50 metres from where he was standing - outside the gates. The quality of the report went downhill from there.

    I didn’t think they could do it, but this bloke has all the qualifications to fill the shoes of Richard Carleton.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 08 30 at 06:58 PM • permalink

  28. PW: “Everybody else simply stated that Bush lifted up the plate and had a couple of pictures taken.”

    Me: Makes me feel better - the president of the United States standing there, holding up a (real) turkey for the cameras.

    Andrea Harris: “Wasn’t “Mr Buddwing” a movie about a guy with no memory?”

    Me: Excellent! (A fan of James Garner, or obscure movies in general?)

    Skeeter: “MrBuddwing may not be familiar with the long-held military tradition that the officers serve the troops on Christmas Day.”

    Me: And President Bush actually serving food to the troops not only would have been a magnanimous gesture, it also would have trumped any “plastic turkey” talk.

    Posted by MrBuddwing on 2006 08 30 at 07:27 PM • permalink

  29. Plastic turkeys? No thanks, I prefer pixellated turkeys.

    Speaking of turkeys, what happened to Tim Lambert’s ASCI turkey? I kind of miss that turkey’s turkey. An ASCI turkey is a perky turkey!

    Posted by TimT on 2006 08 30 at 07:32 PM • permalink

  30. But what I’ve never fully understood is, why was it necessary for President Bush to pick up said real turkey and parade it around the room like that? Can you imagine *any* of his predecessors (including his father) doing the same thing???

    So…....this went from a serving plastic turkey (surely a STUPID subject for the left to harp on) to a complaint from “Mr. Budwing” that Bush posed for a picture.  It’s not like other presidents, let alone any politician, ever did the same thing.  Nope, not at all.

    And Bush did this while serving the troops a holiday meal, a tradition of long standing in the military, as Skeeter noted.  Any officer worth his/her salt will do this. 

    Lame, Mr. Budwing, lame.  Reaching for something like this is purely lame, even if you did admit the turkey was real.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 08 30 at 07:32 PM • permalink

  31. Me: And President Bush actually serving food to the troops not only would have been a magnanimous gesture, it also would have trumped any “plastic turkey” talk.

    Except that the plastic turkey trumped that gesture for 1000 daysa. 

    And I don’t consider it magnanimous to follow tradition.  I consider it respectful.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 08 30 at 07:34 PM • permalink

  32. The_Real_Jeffs: “Reaching for something like this is purely lame, even if you did admit the turkey was real.”

    Me: “Admit.” Implying that once upon a time, I believed the turkey was unreal.

    A *lame* assumption on *your* part.

    Posted by MrBuddwing on 2006 08 30 at 07:36 PM • permalink

  33. “By the way, unexpected work complications ate into plans for a more substantial turkey celebration”

    For gods sake Blair, you’re a jounalist aren’t you just photoshop them in after the event.

    Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 08 30 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  34. Agreed.  My apologies.

    OTOH, you are complaining about a politician posing for a photo.  That is assuredly lame.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 08 30 at 07:43 PM • permalink

  35. The_Real_JeffS: “OTOH, you are complaining about a politician posing for a photo.  That is assuredly lame.”

    Me: Depends on the photo. I’m reminded of the time President Reagan “pardoned” a turkey around Thanksgiving, and NBC’s Andrea Mitchell said in voiceover: “The turkey does not take questions at photo opportunities.” (Mitchell was a guest co-anchor on “NBC News Overnight,” in case you remember that program.)

    Posted by MrBuddwing on 2006 08 30 at 07:50 PM • permalink

  36. Me: And President Bush actually serving food to the troops not only would have been a magnanimous gesture, it also would have trumped any “plastic turkey” talk.

    You are aware that he did serve the troops that day? That there were pictures of him doing so? That troops who were there have stated he served them?

    Not only didn’t the truth trump the plastic turkey “talk” (lies, actually), it was buried in favor of the “talk” because the “talk” better fit the prejudices of the talking heads.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 08 30 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  37. Mr Buddwing, I think your namesake in the movie (I’ve never seen it, I’ve just read the reviews) was a lot more resourceful with a lot less material than you are with the entire internet at your fingertips, or else you would not have written… any of your comments here.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 08 30 at 08:05 PM • permalink

  38. 28-Mr Buddwing:  google is your friend.

    Posted by 68W40 on 2006 08 30 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  39. #10 El Cid - no George Galloway, but we do have Jon Bon Jovi.
    Maybe George is just Jon in a fat suit.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 08 30 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  40. Dinner was tasty.

    Dessert will be ready in an hour or so.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 08 30 at 09:04 PM • permalink

  41. I never realised how big the list was till now.

    And yes, its a very small subset containing those who apologised or retracted these bogus plastic turkey claims.

    Posted by Jono on 2006 08 30 at 09:12 PM • permalink

  42. So I’m the only one to actually fix a turkey?  And fixin’s?

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 08 30 at 10:45 PM • permalink

  43. Me: Depends on the photo. I’m reminded of the time President Reagan “pardoned” a turkey around Thanksgiving, and NBC’s Andrea Mitchell said in voiceover: “The turkey does not take questions at photo opportunities.” (Mitchell was a guest co-anchor on “NBC News Overnight,” in case you remember that program.)

    Every president, I think since Truman, pardons a turkey every Thanksgiving every year. Indeed, I can remember a conservative columnist (I think for NRO) writing within the last 2 years that it’s time to end the practice.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 08 31 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  44. The worst things about the “plastic” turkey BS were that 1)it blatantly showed how unfamiliar most American MSM members are with US military traditions, 2)damned near all of them were too stupid to realize how ignorant their “accusations” made them sound to the average American veteran, and 3)they didn’t care how stupid and/or ignorant they sounded.

    Posted by Juliette on 2006 08 31 at 12:19 AM • permalink

  45. How many days since Tim tried to poison himself with a real turkey? If I recall, his life was saved by a timely post to this blog.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 08 31 at 09:28 AM • permalink

  46. Why did Bush pick up the turkey? Can anybody imagine such fine physical specimens as William Howard Taft, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, or John F. Kennedy just up and hefting it on a lark? Jimmy Carter wouldn’t have picked it up, instead he’d have had four others pick it up while he gave them non-stop directions and explanations.

    I can imagine Theodore Roosevelt picking it up. Bill Clinton would have picked it up except for fear of fumbling and dropping it.

    These occasional plastic turkey press gobbles are the tip not only of an iceberg of leftist despair but also of an iceberg of unpublished leftist conversation. Do not imagine that the plastic-turkey situation is anywhere near under control! The plastic turkey sometimes flies beneath the newspaper level, but thrives in blogs and groups. The anti-plastic-turkey forces have but scratched the surface.

    Google Blog search on fake-turkey OR plastic-turkey OR phoney-turkey OR phony-turkey OR Bush’s-turkey OR flying-turkey
    Google Groups search on: fake-turkey OR plastic-turkey OR phoney-turkey OR phony-turkey OR Bush’s-turkey OR flying-turkey

    The left is obsessed with image. The plastic turkey myth is meant to hurt the image of Bush as war leader, make him seem a callow preposterous fake, & to poison any good feeling which might come of consideration of his going to Baghdad (Thursday, Nov. 27, 2003), & cheering the troops up, not to mention reassuring Iraqis of the seriousness of our commitment. It also distracts from other things of that time—
    —his important & well-received-in-Europe Three Pillars speech at Whitehall Palace in London (Nov. 19, 2003),
    —the Iraqi anti-terrorism demonstrations which followed (Dec. 5, 2003) after his Baghdad visit and again and larger soon afterward (Dec. 10, 2003),
    —and the capture of Saddam Hussein (Dec. 13, 2003) (See “SURE, WE’VE CAUGHT SADDAM ... BUT PLASTIC TURKEY!”.

    The plastic turkey myth is used as a case in point to accuse the Bush Administration of press manipulation & smoke & mirrors, which, one Guardian writer proposingly predicted, will be taught in journalism schools for years.  What it really is, is a lesson in leftist psychological projection. These image manipulators know what they’re doing up until they’re taken in by their own rhetoric, lost in their own smoke & mirrors, which happens often & early.

    If only it were all aimed only at Bush. That it’s aimed at him personally makes it harder to call unpatriotic. But all that force and fury isn’t just about him. More generally, the plastic turkey myth is meant to taint feeling about the whole war effort and those who strive for it.

    Posted by ForNow on 2006 08 31 at 09:04 PM • permalink

  47. I can imagine Theodore Roosevelt picking it up. Bill Clinton would have picked it up except for fear of fumbling and dropping it.

    Actually, (non-President) Sandy Berger was there and he did pick it up, and stuffed it down his pants, and that’s why it hasn’t been seen since. The parsley went into his Paisleys.

    Posted by ForNow on 2006 09 01 at 08:26 PM • permalink

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