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TRIPLE ZOB

Not that Kevin Rudd is an unusual person or anything:

When a journalist asked if he could ask a national question, Mr Rudd responded with: “Zob zob zob.”

Posted by Tim B. on 11/06/2007 at 08:39 AM
  1. But he has his aresholiness’ support:

    PRIME Minister John Howard says he’s not surprised sacked Muslim spiritual leader Sheik Taj el-Dene Elhilaly has urged his followers to support Labor leader Kevin Rudd.

    In a speech, Sheikh Hilaly accused Mr Howard, who he called the “number three player of the Bush deception team”, of destroying the Muslim community’s relationship with other Australians, The Australian newspaper reports.
    “He’s never been a fan of mine and frankly, I’ve never been a fan of his,” Mr Howard told journalists in Epping in Sydney’s north-west today.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 06 at 08:47 AM • permalink

  2. ROLFMAO!

    “Zob zob zob” is apparently French vernacular for a man’s genitalia, and is also the name of a French hardcore movie from 1977.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 06 at 08:49 AM • permalink

  3. Zob the movie?

    He was there, but he didn’t open his eyes.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 08:54 AM • permalink

  4. ‘Zob’ - according to the French wife - is a the word used to describe the genitals of a man to children who would find the word ‘penis’ amusing. Something akin to ‘willy’ in the Australian vernacular.

    Soaring rhetoric from the future PM…

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 11 06 at 08:59 AM • permalink

  5. I found these definitions for Zob.  Pretty apt for kevni???

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 06 at 08:59 AM • permalink

  6. Is this a sign that Kev needs to increase the dosage, or merely that he’s going crazy?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 06 at 09:00 AM • permalink

  7. zob zob zob is alternately titled sex safari number 4

    hardly what you’d expect a Christian Socialist to be watching.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 06 at 09:00 AM • permalink

  8. but he wasn’t watching

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 09:01 AM • permalink

  9. Is that like the porn version of ‘Tora! Tora! Tora!’ ?

    Posted by Parker on 2007 11 06 at 09:06 AM • permalink

  10. Is that like the porn version of ‘Tora! Tora! Tora!’ ?

    In both of them someone got screwed over.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 06 at 09:07 AM • permalink

  11. When does Kevni turn into a full time drooling idiot?

    All this snacking on bodily secretions and mumbling gibberish is not looking too flash for his mental well-being, but at least he is lucid on the odd occasion.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 11 06 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  12. headline for newspapers on Nov 25

    Zob zob zob to sob sob sob

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 06 at 09:20 AM • permalink

  13. So Kevni’s had his fill of earwax. Zob zob zoooob! It’s smegma time!

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 11 06 at 09:20 AM • permalink

  14. When does Kevni turn into a full time drooling idiot?

    The minute he gets sworn in as prime minister.  At the moment he is only part time.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 11 06 at 09:22 AM • permalink

  15. If Rudd isn’t some kind of sexual deviant I’d be very surprised.

    Posted by murph on 2007 11 06 at 09:25 AM • permalink

  16. “zob zob zob” is Cthuluese for “my brain has been sucked out via my nasal passages and replaced by tasty earwax”

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 11 06 at 09:27 AM • permalink

  17. Uncontrollable zobbing just strikes me as unmanly. You know, that kind of thing sank Ed Muskie’s presidential campaign.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 06 at 09:29 AM • permalink

  18. Rudd pretending to back the Melbourne Cup .winner

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 06 at 09:35 AM • permalink

  19. #18

    Pathetic

    Posted by murph on 2007 11 06 at 09:36 AM • permalink

  20. #19 I second that.

    It’s pretty insulting to everyone’s intelligence that he claimed to bet on the winner too, but only after his original pick had been scratched and the Cup had been won.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 06 at 09:41 AM • permalink

  21. Aiyyyyyyye.  The Kevin07 robot is misfiring.  I just knew not to buy that software from Politically Attuned Computer Orchestrations.  And I said so.  But does my opinion count for anything.  NO!

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 11 06 at 09:49 AM • permalink

  22. #20 Ash_ I thought YouTube showed him eating his original pick?

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 11 06 at 09:49 AM • permalink

  23. #22 He he he. It did, Mr. Bingley, but we all believe he was just scratching his earlobe and then his chin, and the swallowing was just a frog in his throat… right?

    *Crickets chirping*

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 06 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  24. Kevni’s just so abzobed by his work ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 10:04 AM • permalink

  25. KevinZOB7

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 10:14 AM • permalink

  26. #21: Local technician - possibly from New Zealand - examines the Kevbot; removes panel disguised as the flap on a pair of long johns and peers inside.

    Well, theh’s yer problem rite theh. The wires thet are s’posed to be connected to the cerebral unit are crossed wid the wires thet are s’posed to be connected to the excretory fun’shun. An’ lookit this, mite: the insulation’s come orf, an’ it’s caused the whole unit to overheat and melt the eah wex. Hmm. Looks loik ya got a spotta trouble wid yer millihenries, too. Oim afride awl heff to tike it inta the shop. Git rite onnit, mite. Soon’s we git the Garretbot’s foot outov his gob.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 06 at 10:17 AM • permalink

  27. #18
    C’mon, we know Kevni always picks a winner ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 10:18 AM • permalink

  28. Kevin 07 speaks YOUr language…

    When a journalist asked if he could ask a multicultural question, Mr Rudd responded with: “Bosom, bosom, bosom… penis, penis… arsehole!”*

    *Translation from Cantonese to wage-neutral Unionese inspired by the early work of Tex Perkins, Lachlan McLeod and the Beasts of Bourbon.

    Posted by splice on 2007 11 06 at 10:19 AM • permalink

  29. #18
    Cripes - is Kevni about to take a horse zob in the gob?
    Prolly confirms murph’s suspicions.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 10:24 AM • permalink

  30. “Zob zob zob.”

    “Kodos, no!  Do not break cover in front of the humans!”

    On the upside, we now know he speaks more French than John Kerry….

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 11 06 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  31. Listen, this guy hasn’t been spotted swallowing live bandicoots, whole, has he?

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 06 at 10:38 AM • permalink

  32. I believe Mr. Rudd was quite rudely telling the press to zob off.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 06 at 10:42 AM • permalink

  33. LOL Kevin07…

    I can haz gobz zobz?

    Aaah, gotz ma bandicoots!

    Posted by splice on 2007 11 06 at 11:04 AM • permalink

  34. Kevni the zob goblin ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 11:18 AM • permalink

  35. It’s a new sense of zob.  Nobody knows what it is yet, is all.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 11 06 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  36. Well, what do you expect? He is a leftist mouth-breeder, why shouldn’t he speak directly to his constituent snot-gobblers?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 11 06 at 11:45 AM • permalink

  37. The bowler is Holding, The batsman’s .....Zob!?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 06 at 11:57 AM • permalink

  38. I think he’s just misremembering the old Superman II movie.  He was commanding the reporter to kneel before him.  KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2007 11 06 at 12:10 PM • permalink

  39. “Zob zob zob.”

    Are you shittin’ me? For Christ Sakes, if by some chance this ruddasshat wins, OZ will be ruled by a fucking Martian, and NOT the Marvin kind.

    Of course, what the fuck am I tossing for…WE could be lead by a fucking Zombie and NOT the one with a Photo Blog.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 06 at 12:14 PM • permalink

  40. Just a simple question as I may have missed something.

    Why should the reporter have to seek permission to ask a bleeping question?  Do you think that reporter would be so polite wih HOWARd?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 06 at 12:18 PM • permalink

  41. Triple Zob n. A difficult and dangerous ice skating maneuver. It is not allowed in Olympic competition due to allegedly obscene content.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 11 06 at 12:49 PM • permalink

  42. From the article: “But he [Rudd] appeared to be a candidate for hospital treatment himself, sporting a sore hand.

    “That actually is from shaking hands.”

    Sure. No, really, I believe you Kev.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 06 at 12:50 PM • permalink

  43. Zobs Zobs! Zobs! I’m so sick of Zobs!
    I get Zobs all day through;
    First from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do?

    (my apologies to Lerner & Loewe)

    Posted by missred on 2007 11 06 at 01:49 PM • permalink

  44. Did someone say a zob was the same thing as a willy??

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 11 06 at 02:29 PM • permalink

  45. Perhaps he has a touch of Tourettes.  Or maybe his wax is toxic.  I suggest he go for a three-month period of observation in a suitable facility.

    Or, alternatively, he could work as a stand-in for Pinky.

    Zog!

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 11 06 at 02:49 PM • permalink

  46. Damn!  Make that Zob!

    Oh, in the Pinky and the Brain scenario, Krude is Pinky, Peter Garrett is the Brain.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 11 06 at 02:52 PM • permalink

  47. #18
    One of those carnival clowns… where’s the ping-pong ball?

    #25
    ZOBin07

    #26
    Danged Atalanta Kiwi Techos.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 03:25 PM • permalink

  48. Hope this doesn’t mean he’s changing his diet from wax to zobs.

    Posted by Big Arnie on 2007 11 06 at 03:39 PM • permalink

  49. “ZOG!!”
    “...‘Zog’ what? ‘Zog’ yes?! ‘Zog’ no?!”

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 11 06 at 04:13 PM • permalink

  50. Zob, zob, zob? Urban myth. What happened was, the reporter asked Rudd a question, and at that precise moment he happened to be pouring hydrogen peroxide into his ear from a gallon container, which made the sound, “glug, glug, glug.”

    Get your facts straight, people.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 06 at 04:33 PM • permalink

  51. #50

    It’s not the nature of the evidence(facts) it’s the seriousness of the charge.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 06 at 05:01 PM • permalink

  52. Perhaps ‘zob zob zob’ was the correct answer to the question posed to Peter Costello a couple of weeks ago: ‘who made cactus?’

    Posted by Apple77 on 2007 11 06 at 05:05 PM • permalink

  53. Zob is also arabic for penis.

    Posted by Crusader_ on 2007 11 06 at 05:07 PM • permalink

  54. How I imagine Kevin Rudd on trial.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 11 06 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  55. He’s just mispronouncing the name of his lord and master.

    Posted by Evil Pundit on 2007 11 06 at 05:38 PM • permalink

  56. We’ll all be zobbing into our drinks if Krudd gets voted in.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 06 at 05:58 PM • permalink

  57. O/T but media related:  Twice now on ABC Breakfast we have been treated to Michelle Grattan’s analysis of how the Coalition has neutralised the ALP on climate change.  Last week coke bottles (Mark Latham’s description) said that JWH has succeeded in ‘muddying the waters’ and today she said that he had successfully ‘confused the issue’.  Very balanced.

    This was followed by a work-experience journo chick piece about how voluntary student unionism had stopped the NUS doing what it always did: providing sports, food and campus services…. don’t get me started.

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 11 06 at 06:00 PM • permalink

  58. #30 - Richard, you are onto something!
    Those alien guys may be the new security advisers Paul Kelly refers to in his article outlining Rudd’s Whitlamesque plans for national transfiguration.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 06 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  59. Hmn.. shouldn’t it be voters saying zobb to Rudd?

    Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2007 11 06 at 06:09 PM • permalink

  60. #57
    The end of the world as we knew it happened with VSU.
    If the funds extorted from students for SU Fees was really used to assist ALL students there wouldn’t be a problem. But when the idiots spent it on themselves as political wannabes and spent the entire annual budget on one issue of the leftist diversity-peddling crapfest of a rag they produce they don’t deserve the responsibility of funding.
    Oh, and Big Jim, I hope that the “food” provided by the NUS was in inverted commas, because I’d certainly not describe it a food.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 06:15 PM • permalink

  61. #57 listening to it now Big Jim- (an hour behind up here) Michelle’s a shocker.

    Did you hear AM and the whining househusband gnashing his teeth cos the interest rates had risen almost one percent since they’d taken out afixedloan for an expensive inner city property?

    things are so bad his wife has had to get a better paying job (damn that evil HoWARd) and he might (shudder) have to get a job.

    ‘woe is me i might have to stack supermarket shelves’

    where do they find these people?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 06 at 06:19 PM • permalink

  62. #29 egg, looks like the kruddster learnt something from Zob zob zob eh?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 06 at 06:22 PM • permalink

  63. Did you hear AM and the whining househusband gnashing his teeth cos the interest rates had risen almost one percent since they’d taken out afixedloan for an expensive inner city property?

    Doesn’t “fixed” mean his rates won’t change?

    *sigh*

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 11 06 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  64. Listen to the whiney bitch Turneys on AM today (@ about 10:00)complaining about the increase in interest rates. She already pays one third of her wages in mortgage repayments. She’s a consultant and she and her husband/partner decided that they would live on her wage and the husband would stay at home to look after their 11 month old child.
    They have a house in Newtown (NEWTOWN!!! Inner west of Sydney),  Newtown property prices 12 months to October 2007 and they are complaining about the repayments?
    Some of the other little things they say are a bit annoying, too. “Every cent the petrol goes up we have to look very carefully.”

    Interest rates have gone up by 1/4 of one percent.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 06:31 PM • permalink

  65. So Kev get’s off the campaign bus, gets asked a question and the first thing he says is: “zob zob zob”. I’d always wondered what they did on the campaign bus….

    Posted by Fast Eddie on 2007 11 06 at 06:32 PM • permalink

  66. Oh SNAP Rob!!!

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 06:36 PM • permalink

  67. #66
    Oops
    Snap eeeniemeenie!

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 06:37 PM • permalink

  68. Where’s my tiny violin? I wanna play “my heart bleeds for you” for the Turneys.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 06:38 PM • permalink

  69. #63- yes, but you know with skyrocketing petrol and grocery prices and payments on the 50’’ plasma and so on they’re doing it tough.

    and they’re not going to forget about Howard’s ‘promises’ on interest rates come election time.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 06 at 06:42 PM • permalink

  70. Kevni is negotiating to star in a movie remake of Karate Kid..

    KARATE KRUDD.

    theyll be keeping much of the script and Kevni has a favourite line he lip syncs (or is that sinks?):


    Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand.
    Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth.
    Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget to breathe, very important.

    Posted by bailador on 2007 11 06 at 06:51 PM • permalink

  71. “Zob zob zob.”

    It’s the Alien boy scouts creed.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 06 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  72. 32 RebeccaH

    I believe Mr. Rudd was quite rudely telling the press to zob off.

    Pretty damn close to another definition of zob.

    a weak or contemptible person; a fool

    I can’t understand why this rudd is getting off so cheaply, for IF this was rudd’s meaning, the press should be digging his grave, in an election cycle…BUT they are not.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 06 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  73. Hacks misheard Kevni’s premonition of the election outcome: sob sob sob?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 07:53 PM • permalink

  74. Zob is awfully close to ‘Zod’, as in General Zod, who got his arse kicked by Superman. Equally close to Zog, as in King Zog, last king of Albania. Neither of which are exactly top-grade role models.
    I found this Zoggian anecdote on Wikipedia:

    The King’s Chamberlain was instructed to accost visitors to the local hotel in the capital Tirana with the demand that they attend a Royal audience, at which formal morning dress should be worn. The visitor would be referred to a local outfitter where they could buy the requisite clothes, although this turned out to be quite expensive. The subsequent audience at the palace would be brief and perfunctory. The outfitters was owned by King Zog.

    It’s still possible that Labor will hold Canberra after the election. Even so, I’m looking forward to 2008. In fact, now that my new calendar has arrived, can we maybe start the year early?

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 11 06 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  75. #61 #64
    Caught that.

    Hehe, the Aussie guy’s got the Pommie bint working whilst he’s a Mr Mom - their mortgage is 30% of her wage, FFS!

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 08:06 PM • permalink

  76. The ‘Milky Bar’ Krudd - zob zob zob.

    So many permutations.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 08:09 PM • permalink

  77. Bolta has a good takedown of the whingeing commercial with the carrot topped mum who can’t believe she actually has to pay bills…can’t the gummint do something?

    Also, note the ALP definition of keeping it positive: Complaining politely

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 11 06 at 08:19 PM • permalink

  78. For you, Hucbald.
    I heard him play Gumboots on the radio thismorning, it was great. A Paul Simon composition… sounded very much like Paul Simon in it’s reprise. I enjoyed it.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 08:25 PM • permalink

  79. Gumboots is here.

    Posted by kae on 2007 11 06 at 08:26 PM • permalink

  80. #57
    Grattan’s daily brief for the luvvies is a window on ALP central for the rest of us.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 08:31 PM • permalink

  81. Talk about arrested development. From a thirteen-year-old it would be kind of funny. From a “man” running for PM it’s pathetic.

    Posted by Hanyu on 2007 11 06 at 08:50 PM • permalink

  82. I am going to do a jack from montreal and link to my take on fuel prices and the impact on car sales. 

    Here.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 06 at 08:56 PM • permalink

  83. To my Aussie friends, I thought my politicians were idiots.  You win.

    Posted by David A on 2007 11 06 at 09:07 PM • permalink

  84. 83 Ummm, David A…certainly not to be argumentative, but I’d say it a dead heat…

    Idiots are idiots, regardless the accent, or tongue…:). Ours are just as “useful” as theirs.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 06 at 09:12 PM • permalink

  85. #1

    In a speech, Sheikh Hilaly accused Mr Howard, who he called the “number three player of the Bush deception team”, of destroying the Muslim community’s relationship with other Australians, T

    Aww gee. And there I was, thinking it was that whole rape, beheading and blowing up non-Muslims thing.

    Well I’ll be zobbed!

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 11 06 at 09:17 PM • permalink

  86. #86: Huh? I thought Howard was the number one player of the Bush deception team, and that Bush and Cheney were just his stooges. Well, learn something new every day.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 06 at 09:55 PM • permalink

  87. Reference to #85, rather.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 06 at 09:56 PM • permalink

  88. Damn paco…I almost had a bingo…

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 06 at 10:03 PM • permalink

  89. RUDD2ME2 or ZOB3PO?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  90. I assumed that Kevin had been playing scrabble on Facebook and found out Zob wasn’t allowed - on a triple word score, too!

    Posted by ErnestBludger on 2007 11 06 at 10:32 PM • permalink

  91. What every level of the media ignores is the fact that an increase in interest rates means a better return for investors- I’m happy to see them head north. It also generally keeps the exchange rate high, meaning better returns on cash accounts and offshore shares. If knobs choose to borrow money to purchase a commodity at an inflate price, it’s a personal problem- frankly government should have nothing to do with the financial market and their idiotic efforts to interfere in the housing market have been utterly futile and inflationary.
    I sold our last property two years ago, and now lease as I won’t pay over the odds for anything; the difference between what I pay on the lease and what I’d be forking out to service a mortgage on the grossly inflated cost of the property goes into shares and other investments which earn a return rather than feeding banks margins- anyone who does otherwise is a dickhead, and I have no sympathy for their whining.
    It’s not as if we have actual property rights in this country anyway, so I see fuck-all difference between renting and owning real estate. 

    Re the “zob zob zob” routine, perhaps Kevvie’s planning to lead a pack of Albanian boy scouts when he’s flogged like a slow favourite in a couple of weeks time.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 11 06 at 10:41 PM • permalink

  92. “Zob zob” I could understand, but “Zob zob zob” is just excessive.

    Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2007 11 06 at 11:27 PM • permalink

  93. #82
    Noice blog, duly bookmarked.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 06 at 11:52 PM • permalink

  94. #91

    Habib, I am told that more people earn interest on bank deposits and the like than pay interest on mortgages.  Just think of all the pensioners who have their life savings in one of those accounts that pays 5.65% or whatever. The “financially sophisticated” might think they are mad for not owning shares or bonds or unit trusts, but eldsters are conserative with their cash (generally) because they cannot afford to fuck up.

    ie, like my parents. 

    An increase in interest rates actually benefits a huge range of people that the media can’t be bothered to find and talk to. 

    After all, who wants to hear a good news story about a granny talking about how much better off she is thanks to an increase in interest rates when you can have a bad news story about a family that is about to have to sell their kidneys or lose the house.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 07 at 12:20 AM • permalink

  95. #94- Which they paid far too much for; the only thing that’s driving the cost of housing up is the sad fact that there are plenty of idiots out there who are prepared to pay more for a commodity than the vendor paid- intrinsically most urban city houses are worth around $150K tops, with the building declining in value due to depreciation. “Scarcity of land” is a load of bollocks- while there’s no new blocks opening up in Newtown or St Kilda, there’s shitloads of vacant land all over the country, just no-one wants to live there.

    The other point about increased interest rates is that it greatly helps self-funded retirees, actually reducing the welfare bill.

    The Turneys need to get over themselves- and if they’re short of dough, let the whiny bitch of a househusband go out and get a job- there’s plenty of them around.

    It’s about time people lived with their choices instead of expecting a sling extorted from others who didn’t make dumb decisions.

    Posted by Habib on 2007 11 07 at 01:34 AM • permalink

  96. Minor software glitch, no biggie. The boys up in R&D have a handle on it, fixed in next patch cycle. In the meantime, if he starts “zobbing” or twitching again, just haul off and give him a good swift kick.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 11 07 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  97. Mojo, can we do that anyway?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 07 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  98. After Latham, I thought the Labor Party would make sure its parliamentary leaders were sane. I mean, had they won the 2004 election, Labor would have had to confront some extremely awkward moments as the depth of the leader’s madness was exposed.

    So when Rudd came along, thought that insanity wasn’t among his defects. Now I’m not so sure.

    Posted by Contrail on 2007 11 07 at 03:05 AM • permalink

  99. Right, that does it.
    If this Turney bloke can get away with the missus working while he stays home and plays mummy, whilst probably paying off a $600,000 mortgage, just to live in the inner city, then so can I.
    As soon as Dirty Harriet gets home, I’m laying it all on the table.
    If she wants a kid, she’s going to have to earn more to keep me in style.
    I will demand ask um, beg if I have to.
    Bugger it, I don’t want to live in Newtown anyway, and I’d probably do more harm than good as a full time stay at home dad (not to mention go insane).
    Think I’ll stick with things as they are.
    We rent, and save for our future.
    We live in a part of Sydney that is God’s own, (the Shire), but we still pay through the teeth for it.

    One day Dirty Harriet and I will buy, I guess, but buggered if it will be in Sydney.

    I really can’t wait for the phone calls from luvvies like that when the Kruddster gets in, and his inability to do anything but ZOB the economy forces rates through the roof.

    Mr Turney might have to ‘gasp’ get a haircut and get a real job, as they say. :)

    Posted by 185600 on 2007 11 07 at 04:07 AM • permalink

  100. As soon as Dirty Harriet gets home, I’m laying it all on the table.

    I promise I’ll be your first visitor when you get out of intensive care 185600.

    If she wants a kid, she’s going to have to earn more to keep me in style.

    It’s cruel, but I really want to see you say that to her.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 07 at 04:22 AM • permalink

  101. #100 Ash_
    She would just laugh at me at first.
    Then I would be tap dancing for the rest of my natural life with one leg.  :)

    She keeps telling me these anecdotes about other people and how they manage having a baby and careers, etc.

    Then she looks at me funny and it’s all like some french movie you catch on SBS at 1am.

    I just think that if she really wants to have a child with me I should be rewarded like Mr Turney has been for all of the hard work a man has to put into the ‘miracle of childbirth’.
    (Ducks behind dog and awaits the thunderbolts)

    I couldn’t do it anyway, me as a kept man just doesn’t sit right at all.
    An owned man, however, is quite different.
    And Dirty Harriet likes a man to be just that.
    Even if he is in traction for large periods of time. :)

    Posted by 185600 on 2007 11 07 at 05:11 AM • permalink

  102. Now THIS is cool!!!!

    Posted by Vincent Gerome on 2007 11 07 at 05:23 AM • permalink

  103. #101, Well, it’s a good thing she’s got a sense of humour. That means after she laughs, she’s only going to give you a light beating.

    He he he. If I can still work without having anyone babysit terribly often, I’m sure Dirty Harriet can find a way to do it. He he he.

    I get the feeling it only took one stint in traction for Dirty Harriet to pull you into line though!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 07 at 05:23 AM • permalink

  104. #103 Ash_
    It was the threat of a stint in traction that did it. I have to be able to run around, and I hate hospitals.

    Love her but.  :)

    Yes, both meanings, she’s a ‘mighty fine’ looking girl. :)

    Posted by 185600 on 2007 11 07 at 05:31 AM • permalink

  105. #104 Well, we certainly share the hatred of hospitals.

    And I’m guessing you thought the risk that she’d follow through on the threat wasn’t worth pushing the limits!

    I bet she’s damn fine 185600.

    I’m being summoned by a demon in a green jumpsuit.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 07 at 05:37 AM • permalink

  106. #99

    I’d probably do more harm than good as a full time stay at home dad (not to mention go insane)

    I did the stay at home dad thing for about six months.  Best thing I ever did.  Before the little monkey popped out, all I could think about was getting back to work. 

    Afterwards….well, you’ll understand one day.  Just give it a go.  You might surprise yourself.  Certainly shocked the shit out of me.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 07 at 06:19 AM • permalink

  107. #105 Ash_
    Ah, so that’s where John Howard stays when in Melbourne!

    Posted by 185600 on 2007 11 07 at 06:19 AM • permalink

  108. #107 Ah, 185600, he knows there’s plenty of beds here and the food is damn fine!

    Seriously, I wish he’d spend more time here campaigning. Otherwise my “interests” will be “represented” by Bill Shorten.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 07 at 06:25 AM • permalink

  109. #106 mr creosote
    Everyone says that, but I am still scared of the thought that I would be responsible for something so precious as a baby.
    My mates (and family) find it funny that I hold them like a live grenade, but I’m just worried I’d do something wrong.

    If I ever have kids, I don’t want them to be coddled, (I wasn’t) but I am worried that I might stuff something up.
    It’s a big responsibility, an innocent life, and although I have those anyway in my hands from time to time, the thought of it being my own child is just a little scary to me.
    I want nothing more than to have a family, because our kids would be part of both Dirty Harriet and I.
    My hat’s off to those who have kids. :)

    That said, we get married next year, and maybe I won’t have a choice.

    Not that I’d mind, in that instance. :)
    Oh, and if we were to have a daughter that took after Dirty Harriet, my condolences in advance to the parents of any boy who goes within 15 feet of her after she turns 11.

    Folks can take that as a warning, if they like.

    Posted by 185600 on 2007 11 07 at 06:49 AM • permalink

  110. #108 Ash_

    Please don’t tell me that the future legal defence is already giving him tips on ‘Baby Kissing on The Campaign Trail’?

    Bill Shorten would make sure that everyone in your electorate who got trapped in a mine would have him turn up to bag out somebody on their behalf on national TV.

    You are so lucky.  :)

    Posted by 185600 on 2007 11 07 at 06:53 AM • permalink

  111. #109 He he he. And if you and Dirty Harriet have a son, will I need to make sure I keep a loaded gun with me at all times after my little one turns 13?

    #110 I actually saw him in the supermarket (if it wasn’t him, it was his stunt double), and I hightailed it out of there. The future legal defence is innocent; she doesn’t deserve that trauma!

    On the plus side, I don’t think there’s any mines in my electorate, but considering some of the neighbouring suburbs there could be landmines.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 07 at 07:03 AM • permalink

  112. #109

    185600, don’t sweat it.  They’re tough little buggers.  Every parent I know has dropped their kids on their head at least once. 

    And don’t worry about the grenade thing.  I saw a bloke drop one on the range once.  Right in the pit.  The DS just grabbed him by the webbing and threw the idiot out, then jumped straight out himself.  Like an Olympic high jumper.  Unbelievable what adrenaline will do for you.

    The moral?  There’s always someone there to pick you up if you drop the bundle.

    I could never bear to hold the little buggers before I had one.  Smelly, messy, icky little things.  Mewling, puking little bags of poo.  Destroyers of laptops and ravagers of CD collections. 

    Then you have one, and they throw up all over you at 3am, and you just think it’s great.  (Ever tried getting curdled milk vomit out of a hairy chest?  You’ll be sorry….)

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 11 07 at 08:01 AM • permalink

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