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TOUGHNESS PROPOSED
Sheriff Kofi has plum had it with them suicidin’ bomber boys, and danged if he ain’t gonna put a stop to their self-killin’ shenanigans:
Secretary General Kofi Annan on Monday will propose establishing new rules for the use of military force, adopting a tough anti-terrorism treaty that would punish suicide bombers, and overhauling the United Nation’s discredited human rights commission, according to a confidential draft of a report on U.N. reform.
“You blow youself up on my watch,” warned the steely-eyed Ghanaian lawman, “and that’ll be the last thing you do, mark my words.”
Hmmm,
We had better keep an eye on them! You know they might want to put them in the comfy chair without serving the 3:00pm coffee without cream and sugar. We wouldn’t want Amnesty Interantional getting their noses out of joint. Or even worse, they might want to read French poetry.
Posted by Marcus Aurelius on 2005 03 22 at 02:09 AM • permalinkYeah you laugh, wait untill he starts handing out fines. Then, once that problem’s solved, he can work on stopping his own ‘peacekeepers’ from raping 13-year-old girls and his own staff from embezzling money.
Hey! If we burnt down the UN building then dragged the UN staff out the front and put a bullet in their heads, then partially cannibalised the corpses befor throwing them, stinking and bloated, into a shallow pit while dancing around chattering and shrieking, clothed only in their blood, do you think Kofi would be ‘concerned’ or would our actions merely be charicterised as ‘unhelpful’?
Apparently you can commit any crime, right up to and exeeding every known barbarity humanity is capable of, and even invent some new ones, with the complete indifference (and occasional collusion) of the UN, so I say bring it on!
It’s a brave new world you’re building Kofi, you worthless whore.
Amos:
Apparently you can commit any crime, right up to and exeeding every known barbarity humanity is capable of, and even invent some new ones, with the complete indifference (and occasional collusion) of the UN, so I say bring it on!
Only if you are not White, Male and ‘Merican. Otherwise, the world’s your oyster.
What, Kofi has a direct line to Allah? Will those 72 virgins in Paradise be changed to 72 Maureen Dowd clones? Stay tuned for further details!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 03 22 at 02:50 AM • permalinkAmos
your comments are unhelpful and we are deeply concerned that your efforts may distract us from reaching the milestones in our program of Global Peace.
We are happy and gratified that the situation in the Sudan has reached an agreement, without serious loss of life, and we now feel able to move on from that particular issue.
As you may already know we are also keen to pursue the suicide bombers and bring them before the International Court of Justice, where they will be exposed to the force of our judiciary.
Soldier: “It’s against Roman law to take one’s own life. The penalty’s death.”
Hero: “Then I’ll fight a gladiator.”
S: “You might win.”
H: “Yeah!”
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 03 22 at 04:53 AM • permalinkKofi, the man of - aluminium foil?
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2005 03 22 at 06:51 AM • permalinkRog2
I think more study of these vexing problems are in order before any precipitous action is taken. A committee must be formed, research must be done, reports must be presented to the various agencies. Then and only then, will the statute of limitations have passed.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 03 22 at 11:44 AM • permalinkHey guys, this thread is most unhelpful.
If this continues I will be forced to write a very strongly worded letter.Wish me mate Arafat was here, I need a hug.
Arafat was so much better at it than Jaques.Seriously people, we all know that no international law regarding suicide bombers is going to apply to the palestinians - kinda how the international law that says a coutry doesn’t have to readmit a hostile population doesn’t apply to Israel.
Posted by Kofi Annan on 2005 03 22 at 12:40 PM • permalinkQuery: will the new “get tough” measures also change blue-helmet rules of engagement to allow something beyond securing roads and airports for evacuation of non-military UN personnel? Like, going outside the airport gates - or at least opening fire - to quell rioters who are killing people within sight of the helmeted ones?
Posted by John Anderson on 2005 03 22 at 02:55 PM • permalinkI see that while I was at work another player has been sin-binned. No, not just footballer John Hopawate, but DK Lillee too.
These guys seem to keep on appearing, like an uninvited maiden aunt at your dinner party, saying “Rosceo, Rog2, Sortelli, Sonetka, and (if they are really looking for a fight) Habib - I’m so ashamed of you, sitting there making flippant conversation, eating, drinking. Come on, stop it at once, and get on with something much more useful like doing those chores I asked you to do yesterday”.
And they are no doubt both puzzled and a bit offended when they are given their marching orders.
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Sheeeit… man can’t even keep his own troops in line.