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TOUGH NUTS

Andrew Ramsey’s preview of the First Test between Australia and Bagladesh:

In what can only be described as the equivalent of smashing a betel nut with a brick, Australia is considering unleashing a five-man bowling attack against minnow Bangladesh when the first Test begins on Sunday.

Some betel nut. Despite that five-man attack, Bangladesh has torn 144 runs off Australia before lunch on the first day for the loss of just one wicket. Shane Warne is 0/38 after six overs.

UPDATE. Will Swanton in the Sun-Herald (not online):

The doddles against Bangladesh will last about two days each and probably involve only one hit each for the Australians. Runs will flow freely. Taking the new ball for Bangladesh will be some bloke who goes by the name of Shahadat Hossain. It may as well be the Blue Wiggle ... any batsman who doesn’t average 100 against that mob shouldn’t be let back in the country.

Imagine the media outrage if an Australian cricketer said anything like that.

UPDATE II. Score with 40 overs remaining: 1/237. Some bloke who goes by the name of Shahriar Nafees is 120 not out. Warne 0/84 (off 13 overs).

UPDATE III. Warne has his century. Bangladesh 2/265.

UPDATE IV. Mohammad Ashraful takes seven runs off a Warne over, 16 off MacGill, then is out to Gillespie; 29 from 28 deliveries.

UPDATE V. Bangladesh 4/300 off 69.1 overs.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/09/2006 at 02:27 AM
  1. You only need go to Bangladesh to see that it’s just a matter of time before they have a strong team.  Kids play in the street, office workers all talk about the game, and the national players are stars.  Another few years and they’ll have a good one-day team and be registering occassional test wins.

    Zimbabwe is a different case.  If predict the Zims will be out of test cricket for many years to come.

    Posted by Bearded Mullah on 2006 04 09 at 02:45 AM • permalink

  2. In the light of this potential defeat by Bangladesh (!!!), I think we should just surrender in Iraq, and pull out now.

    Posted by Kaboom on 2006 04 09 at 02:53 AM • permalink

  3. I misread his name as ‘Alan Ramsey’ -
    Was going to make a joke about ‘Al’  not knowing his arse from a hole in the ground -
    Now I cant :(

    Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 04 09 at 02:57 AM • permalink

  4. BBB V BBB - I misread his name as ‘Alan Ramsey’ -  ditto.

    But contrary to your intimation, that doesn’t alter the fact that Alan Ramsay doesn’t know his arse from a hole in the ground.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 04 09 at 03:16 AM • permalink

  5. Tim, you are right. Imagine the tutting from the left especially Miz Horan, et al if one of our oafish and racist sportsmen had uttered these phrases.

    Posted by Nic on 2006 04 09 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  6. You can just imagine the South African batsmen watching this and chundering; they never looked half this good.

    Posted by Scott W on 2006 04 09 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  7. And good on bangaldesh for taking it to us on the first day. Don’t think it will last long but good on them all the same.

    Posted by Francis H on 2006 04 09 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  8. They’ve beaten us before. Stranger things have happened.

    Posted by CB on 2006 04 09 at 04:12 AM • permalink

  9. when will these media clowns learn to stop over estimating our increasingly mediocre cricket team???

    the players themselves are slowly learning to keep their traps shut after numerous recent examples when thy couldn’t back up all their tripe with actual performances on the field (ala glen mcgrath’s 5-0 whitewash prediction for the last Ashes series) and instead they come off looking like clowns…

    its obviously taking others a bit longer to realise that practically anything can happen these days with some very average batting and bowling performances becoming par for the course…

    Posted by casanova on 2006 04 09 at 04:36 AM • permalink

  10. Useful performance by the Bangladeshis.

    Now, bravely trying to extract something “positive” (to use the modern cliche) from this ordinary Aussie performance : Just imagine how voluminously the Seth Efrikens will be spewing now….

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 04 09 at 05:30 AM • permalink

  11. It may as well be the Blue Wiggle

    Actually my brother was bowled out this season by Greg Page the Yellow Wiggle. No joke.

    Apparently he’s a fairly brisk pace bowler.

    Posted by bad templar on 2006 04 09 at 06:11 AM • permalink

  12. ever heard of spread betting?

    Posted by murph on 2006 04 09 at 06:42 AM • permalink

  13. jeezuz!  J Gillespie and S MacGill have two a piece.

    Posted by murph on 2006 04 09 at 06:43 AM • permalink

  14. I think our boys are hustling to get better odds on the second test.

    Still there is a precedent, look at hands some of the Sri Lancans have played!

    Our best bet is to keep them poor so only the kids at private schools can afford to play with proper bats and balls.

    Posted by Rafe on 2006 04 09 at 06:56 AM • permalink

  15. of course i could be wrong. the banglas are showing a lot of fight even after losing a few wickets.

    remains to be seen whether the wicket is just very flat. hard to tell until both sides have had a hit.

    Posted by Francis H on 2006 04 09 at 06:58 AM • permalink

  16. I can hear the grinding of teeth in Serf Effrica from here. (several thousand kilometres, thankfully)

    Four terms as PM for JWH, Saffas ground into the dirt, does the gloating ever end?

    I LOVE this country.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 04 09 at 08:12 AM • permalink

  17. Bangladesh 4/300 on 69.1 overs.

    Yeah, but what’s the score?

    Er…stump-toothed Yank monoculturalist rube wants to know.

    Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 04 09 at 10:42 AM • permalink

  18. Is this about cricket?

    Didn’t I read somewhere that cricket is a stylized re-enactment of the most calamitous pan-galactic war ever fought?

    Why is it, I keep getting the image of a large red button and the words “dont panic” drifting through my head whenever I think of cricket?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 04 09 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  19. when will these media clowns learn to stop over estimating our increasingly mediocre cricket team???

    Come on Casanova. Australia is Australia. They are still the champs and how many times they have to prove it? Shouldn’t you be giving some credit to Bangladesh for not spoiling the game as one-sided? There are 4 more days you know.

    And many are not aware that Bangladesh’s cricket structure is being developed according to a plan. This plan was envisaged by Eddie Barlow, the South African cricketing Guru, who was the coach and the development manager of Bangladesh Cricket team. Sadly, Eddie had to go out of the scene because of health conditions and he is no more.

    No other nation than Australia came forward to lend a hand towards Bangladesh. Australian Cricket Board had signed a MOU with the Bangladesh Cricket Board under which lots of things are happening in Bangladesh. There are under 13, under 15, under 17 & under 19 development squads. Many grounds are being developed with Australians help and guidance. Bangladesh had the privilege of having some good Australian coaches at these levels and now the Bangladesh senior team is guided by the charismatic Dav Whatmore, who is also an Australian. BM has rightly said that Bangladesh’s driving force is the popularity of the game. MPs stopped a parliament session in the middle of a hot debate to watch the one-day victory over Sri-Lanka in last tour.

    Well if you give Bangladesh some credit, a portion of the credit also goes eventually to Australia, that they have done a fine job. And as a Bangladeshi I thank Australia for that.

    Posted by Rezwan on 2006 04 09 at 06:25 PM • permalink

  20. VotC

    It means that Bangladesh have scored 300 runs(1) and have four men out(2).  They have faced 415 legal balls from Australia.

    (1) Average per innings for a team is about 350
    (2) 10 outs (or wickets) per innings

    Posted by murph on 2006 04 09 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  21. Rezwan

    Australia’s assistance was always conditional on your guys not beating us.

    Please tell them to ease up a bit.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 04 09 at 06:57 PM • permalink

  22. I know.. I know.. Sure… Yep.. Entirely agree.. I know…

    But I’m rooting for Bangladesh anyway.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 09 at 07:50 PM • permalink

  23. I think we need to see what kind of a pitch it is.  If Warnie can’t bowl someone out I think we are talking a batting pitch here.  The draw looks like the bet.

    Posted by allan on 2006 04 09 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  24. Good on ya Murph.  300 runs!  Ya know, better pitching and defense would take care of some of that…

    Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 04 09 at 09:12 PM • permalink

  25. So the betel nut cracked the brick?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 09 at 09:16 PM • permalink

  26. No-one but Warnie does the rooting in cricket, #22.  Try “barracking”.

    Go the deshies!  My gut tells me desh will be all out for 450, that Australia will then bat and declare at 2/650, and desh will collapse in the 2nd dig and go down by an innings.

    Posted by Bearded Mullah on 2006 04 09 at 11:42 PM • permalink

  27. To “barrack” you have to be actually at the match. You can root at home.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 10 at 12:29 AM • permalink

  28. You can root on the radio. You can root on the TV. You can root on the computer. You can even do it on the phone ...

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 10 at 12:31 AM • permalink

  29. oh please, not that juvenile “rooting”/“barracking” routine!!!!  :o)

    and while good on the deshi’s for this current effort, i think some of Australia’s stars are getting past their prime, and the expectation we’ve had that they will walk into any series and wipe the floor with the opponents is getting to be a thing of the past…

    a majority of the team is over 30 and getting into their mid-30’s…  some of the recent batting performances in SAF from the likes of Gillie and Symonds was pathetic…  some of the recent bowling efforts from our backups for McGrath have been lamentable, including that hopeless loss in that highest scoring one dayer which we shouldn’t have lost…

    and in the recent Pura Cup final Qld declared at 6-900 against the Vic’s, which tells me no current Vic bowler aught to be considered for international duties for a very long time….

    we may still have the edge here at home in the conditions we like, but i think our away form has dropped a bit, and i see us probably continuing to slip in the future…

    the days of the bragging and spouting off probably need to stop, especially against some of the better test teams as we don’t have the same collection of easy beats we have been thrashing for the last decade and which has probably made us look better than we were, and not really prepared us for when we do come up against stiff competition and don’t get the walk overs we are accustomed too…

    from now on think we aught to do more of our talking after we have secured the results, rather than potentially making us look like fools by predicting all sorts of thrashings that increasingly may not occur…  the current group are starting to get beyond their prime and i think the back ups aren’t necessarily that impressive….

    Posted by casanova on 2006 04 10 at 02:02 AM • permalink

  30. 300 runs.  Holy cow.

    Texas Ranger baseball is on the air!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 04 10 at 02:10 AM • permalink

  31. well in the highest scoring one dayer in history a couple of months ago, over 850 runs were scored in about 7 hours…

    unfortunately that match, one of the greatest or at least most memorable in history, would have to be one that our bowlers let slip in a performance that you would dignify by describing as average to mediocre…

    Posted by casanova on 2006 04 10 at 02:40 AM • permalink

  32. They whupped us in Old Blighty just before the Ashes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a happier bunch of cricketers in my life.

    Call me un-Austrlaian, but it brought a tear to me eye, it did!

    On’ya Deshies! This is a two test series, right?

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 10 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  33. Well on that Ashes tour i think we went over with a few players heads wedged firmly up their posteriors…  out on drinking binges before games, warney producing another of his increasingly common team disrupting off field issues, everyone predicting 4-0 and 5-0 thrashings….

    just thought it would fall into our hands as it had done in previous years….  right from the start of that tour things started to go pathetically down hill, with calls of she’ll be alright when we get to the one dayers, or once we get to the tests things’ll be right… 

    that dismal tour really should have been the wake up call that there a few things rotten in our Aussie team, but i’m not sure Buchanan or the coaches or administrators have gotten the message even yet… 

    and coming back to whup easy beats New Zealand made everything seem ok rather than perhaps taking the good hard look at players attitudes and performances that was perhaps warranted…

    Posted by casanova on 2006 04 10 at 03:54 AM • permalink

  34. 3 for 52 . thats the sound of my words being eaten.

    Posted by Francis H on 2006 04 10 at 05:14 AM • permalink

  35. And 4 for 61 is the sound of what?

    Posted by Andrew R on 2006 04 10 at 05:44 AM • permalink

  36. not sure Andrew but 5 for 70 odd is the the sound of humble pie being hoed into

    Posted by Francis H on 2006 04 10 at 06:35 AM • permalink

  37. At 6 for 93 you must have moved on to yet another course.

    Posted by Andrew R on 2006 04 10 at 06:38 AM • permalink

  38. hmm

    words - done (quite tasty too)
    humble pie - done

    what could be next:

    aah some nice fresh crow

    god know what i’ll be eating if Oz have to follow on.

    Posted by Francis H on 2006 04 10 at 06:46 AM • permalink

  39. Bearded Mullah: “Go the deshies!  My gut tells me desh will be all out for 450, that Australia will then bat and declare at 2/650, and desh will collapse in the 2nd dig and go down by an innings.”

    I never thought I’d have to say it, but it looks like Australia is more likely to lose by an innings than win at all.

    Posted by Leigh on 2006 04 10 at 06:58 AM • permalink

  40. maybe its the wake up call we need???

    i don’t think purging the team is the answer, as i’m not sure we have anything just at the moment to fill their places with…

    but putting a damn good enema through the team after a slap in the face like this could prove useful…

    and after that first innings bowling effort, u can see obviously why warney gets first pick and mcgill struggles to get in the team….  poor mcgill, having warney who will get picked first on reputation alone, which probably goes for a few of the old timers in this team….

    Posted by casanova on 2006 04 10 at 07:25 AM • permalink

  41. Rezwan you’re a legend..

    Posted by crash on 2006 04 10 at 09:52 AM • permalink

  42. Zimbabwe is a different case.  If predict the Zims will be out of test cricket for many years to come.


    In zimbabwe we have hit rock bottom, we can only improve.

    Posted by kwelam on 2006 04 10 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  43. If Australia has to follow on and go on to lose, will this be the greatest ever sporting embarrassment in our history?

    Will we have to go to Canberra, chanting “Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi” and burn down the Bangladeshi Embassy? (assuming they have one).

    Will our culture and civilization as we know it come to an inglorious end?

    I fear it will, therefore I will stock up on beer.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 04 10 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  44. Some day I’ll know what the hell you’re talking about in these cricket posts. (This post is about cricket, right?)

    Posted by tim maguire on 2006 04 10 at 11:21 AM • permalink

  45. The greatest ever sporting embarrassment in our history?

    Hmmm

    At the 1976 Montreal Olympic Games Australia won NO gold medals and only one silver medal.

    The only silver medal was won by the Men’s Hockey team who beat Pakistan in the semi-final (regarded as the strongest opponents). The Australians went into the final as strong favourites against a much weaker side on form. It was meant to be a formality. The Australians were defeated 1-0.

    By New Zealand.

    Posted by geoff on 2006 04 10 at 11:58 AM • permalink

  46. Rezwan

    Australian cricket is in need of help. Can Bangladesh provide assistance?

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 04 10 at 06:23 PM • permalink

  47. It’s good for the game.

    Posted by Bearded Mullah on 2006 04 10 at 10:31 PM • permalink

  48. Agreed it’s great for the game, beardy…

    Actually the whole history of cricket has been one where newer nations have been able to stick it to their colonial or better resourced masters, and perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised by the emergence of the Bangladeshis.

    It was more fun when we were the upstarts, though.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 04 10 at 10:57 PM • permalink

  49. Margos,

    One game doesn’t nullify Australia’s lifetime of achievement. Its only a game. Gilly showed Australia’s class while Rafique checked the rest in the first innings. This only shows that Bangladesh is on the way up and Australia just having one bad match.

    While I am enjoying this play, I know that the dream can anytime shatter as it will just take a couple of sessions to turn things around. There are still 2 more days left.

    Something to all those who have called for Bangladesh’s expulsion from the test arena: It takes generations, not just some years to graduate into a test class side. And that graduation is in no way possible without regular test cricket against test class sides.

    I hope Bangladesh will graduate to a competitive team in some years more. But you have to give her space as she will have mostly bad days and some good days.

    Posted by Rezwan on 2006 04 11 at 04:13 AM • permalink

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