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TORTOISESHELL COMPLICITY

David Marr’s gruelling investigation of John Howard’s father barely scratched the surface:

His father Lyall Howard’s maternal great-great-grandfather William Tooley was convicted of complicity in the theft of a tortoiseshell watch and transported for life on the Fanny in 1816.

Mr Howard’s mother’s maternal ancestry also began in Australia through a convict forebear – Thomas Barker was transported for life after being convicted of two counts of robbery, arriving on the Bengal Merchant in 1835.

He’s descended from law-breaking boat people! Interesting, isn’t it, how things turn out.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/14/2007 at 02:19 AM
  1. I think back then homosexual acts were illegal too David.

    David would have looked forward to a rough ride on the Fanny.

    Posted by lingus4 on 2007 02 14 at 03:40 AM • permalink

  2. Wait until the Sheik hears of this malarkey. Always knew that Howard boy was trouble.

    In other crime related news, David Marr’s been done for shirt lifting.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 14 at 03:42 AM • permalink

  3. #1 Ha! I was just thinking I wouldn’t mind being transported for life on the Fanny.

    Fanny meaning something different in the US, however, our esteemed American friends may get the wrong idea.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 14 at 03:46 AM • permalink

  4. The only good thing about David Marr is that he makes the Rudder look like a decent human being.

    Better watch out for the Branson prize, Tim, it’s rumoured Marr is a stick shitfer from way back.

    Perhaps the thought of another man in shackles is stimulating to the Marr’ed one?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 14 at 03:52 AM • permalink

  5. Well leftoids like Marr should pleased with John Howard’s parentage. Don’t they, the ‘limousine left’ and ‘chardonnay crowd’ wear their convict history, if they have any that is believable of course, like a badge of honour.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 02 14 at 03:55 AM • permalink

  6. A good ship, the fanny is.

    Posted by entropy on 2007 02 14 at 03:58 AM • permalink

  7. #4 egg_

    Perhaps the thought of another man in shackles is stimulating to the Marr’ed one?

    That was my first thought.

    :^þ

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 14 at 04:01 AM • permalink

  8. “A toast to Fanny and all that sail in her!”

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 14 at 04:11 AM • permalink

  9. All aboard the Fanny for a rollicking good time and hoist the jib and scupper the mainbrace….

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 02 14 at 04:34 AM • permalink

  10. That sums up my life totally… no history of “The Fanny” appears in my family tree at all. There is just not enough fanny in my life!

    I think my ancestors came here on the good ship “arse out of your trousers”.

    Bloody John Howards’ industrial relations shenanigans have ensured that only a chosen few are privvy to the fanny. Bastard!

    “Fanny for all” I say!

    Posted by Gibbo on 2007 02 14 at 04:35 AM • permalink

  11. The lil’ man in the boat?

    Marr probably prefers Friggin’ in the Riggin’ to a voyage in the Fanny.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 14 at 04:43 AM • permalink

  12. OT

    The name of that fellow who killed 5 people in Salt Lake city yesterday was Sulejman Talovic and he was a Bosnian refugee.

    Sulejman?  Think of this guy in the big hat.

    Posted by Janice on 2007 02 14 at 04:45 AM • permalink

  13. Bob Brown eyes the chocolate starfish with relish!

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 14 at 04:47 AM • permalink

  14. #7
    Marr’ed mental image, huh?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 14 at 04:52 AM • permalink

  15. The first of my ancestors was transported in 1797 for impersonationg a clergyman and charging people to marry them.

    I’m kinda proud of that

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 02 14 at 05:02 AM • permalink

  16. And Marr’s point is…?

    Honestly, he’s f#cking obsessed.  Is he trying to appeal to Sheik Hilali’s crowd or something?

    Posted by murph on 2007 02 14 at 05:13 AM • permalink

  17. #16

    And Marr’s point is…?

    Heads of State with convict heritage? Maybe he was trying to compare John Howard to Nelson Mandela.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 02 14 at 05:24 AM • permalink

  18. Sulejman?  Think of this guy in the big hat.

    To be fair, it’s merely the turkish form of Solomon, who wasn’t Muslim himself, so its perfectly viable for non Muslims to have the name.

    (Well, Muslims think Solomon was a Muslim, but, then again, they also think God chose an epileptic illiterate Arab as his final prophet, so there’s no accounting for taste…)

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 02 14 at 05:32 AM • permalink

  19. On a side note, that is truly the most ridiculous piece of headgear in history. Compensating much, Suley, ole boy?

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 02 14 at 05:33 AM • permalink

  20. So Tooley spent his time on the Fanny eh. Who would have thought.

    Dave’s dreaming again, dark spaces, seamen, the lash.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 02 14 at 05:46 AM • permalink

  21. And now for a little Sea Shanty…

    Aboard the good ship Fanny,
    The ship’s purser was Manny.
    He ground and ground Marr like a hound,
    From Southampton to Manly.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 02 14 at 06:04 AM • permalink

  22. T’was on the good ship, Fanny…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 02 14 at 06:19 AM • permalink

  23. T’was on the good ship Fanny,
    The bosun was a tranny,
    We filled his arse with broken glass,
    For quoting Timmy Flannery…

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 02 14 at 06:25 AM • permalink

  24. To Marr, this must mean that JoHo shouldn’t be PM. To the rest of the country, it’s another reason why he is the PM.

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2007 02 14 at 07:27 AM • permalink

  25. T’was an old scribe named Marr
    Who spotted a sailor from afar
    He took him in
    With swigs of gin
    But couldn’t quite raise the bar

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 14 at 07:28 AM • permalink

  26. Society of Australian Genealogists executive officer Heather Garnsey said many family tree enthusiasts were keen to find a link to a convict when researching their backgrounds.
    “For Australians finding a convict ancestor is the Holy Grail, especially a First Fleet ancestor,” she said.

    “A lot of people have a romantic notion of the convict period. I joke in Australia it’s the equivalent of royalty, to some extent.”


    Too bloody right.  The Yanks have their Pilgrims and DARs, we have convict forebears.  Yeah, perverse, but that’s our way.

    I have 5 convict ancestors and several of them were absolute rotters. HeHeHe.  But every one of them did their time (mainly as farm hands), got released after a few years and ended up leaving land and a good life to their children.

    I’d rather be an Aussie with a convict ancestor (albeit a Pom), than a current Pom with an unadulterated lineage of spineless whingeing Poms.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 02 14 at 07:31 AM • permalink

  27. Young Marr, there’s a colony to go.
    I said, young Marr, when you’ve stolen some dough.
    You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
    Many ways to have a good time.

    It’s fun to stay with J-W-H.
    It’s fun to stay with J-W-H.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 14 at 08:02 AM • permalink

  28. #26, SCD,

    The husband’s ancestor was transported to Oz on the HMS Alexander as part of the first fleet. He was a convicted forger, fraudster etc, also a talented artist. Many of his descendants including the spouse are artists, but my boy turned it full circle 30-odd years ago by setting up a forging operation in London providing Aussies and Kiwis with work documents, truck driving licences & the like, in conjunction with a mate who was an engraver. I know, not a good thing in the present climate, but in 1970 it was a nice little earner for an Aussie lad.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 02 14 at 08:10 AM • permalink

  29. Descendants of convicts live in Australia?  Who knew?

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 02 14 at 08:17 AM • permalink

  30. #29 MM, I was just as baffled as you at this revelation. The next thing they’ll be telling us is who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 02 14 at 08:41 AM • permalink

  31. What was that Peter Ustinov quote about decent from a convict being better than decent from a guard?

    Posted by monaro on 2007 02 14 at 08:46 AM • permalink

  32. Oooh, you rotters! Myfamily came over on the 2nd fleet. They sent a manservant over on the first to pick out some of the prime land allocations and set things up when they got there.
    Oooh, beastly decendants of convicts! Get back where you belong in the mucky lower class why dont you!
    Im so mad I could rip a tissue…

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 02 14 at 09:55 AM • permalink

  33. Well, here’s a revelation:  more of us are descended from horse thieves than are descended from kings.  I don’t understand Mr. Marr’s point, and by the way, has he researched his own background?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 14 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  34. yeah, wish i had some jolly malfeasants in the family shrub. unfortunately my dour lot chartered their own ship in the gold rush, calling themselves the scottish temperance emigration league.  one of them wrote the most boring travel journal in the history of the world about the trip.  it now reposes in the la trobe library, largely unconsulted except by poor benighted souls who wish they hadn’t bothered

    Posted by KK on 2007 02 14 at 10:07 AM • permalink

  35. Sounds like David Marr went digging for dirt, and discovered gold instead.  BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 14 at 10:27 AM • permalink

  36. Wait, do you mean to tell me that a person with a criminal background was transported to Australia?!  Nearly two hundred years ago?! 

    I am shocked, shocked, I tell you.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 02 14 at 10:29 AM • permalink

  37. I thought ‘transportation for life’ was winning a car in a contest run by the SMH. It isn’t?

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 14 at 10:33 AM • permalink

  38. #30, Texas Bob,

    The man who’s buried in Grant’s tomb is the finest drunk who ever won a war. Honorary Aussie.

    Posted by mareeS on 2007 02 14 at 10:40 AM • permalink

  39. A great deal of my family came over in steerage.  I do have a very distant relationship with…........Ted Kennedy!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 02 14 at 10:44 AM • permalink

  40. And a very happy Valentine’s day to all of the ladies out there although it is probably the 15th already in OZ.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 02 14 at 10:59 AM • permalink

  41. Heck, my great granpa left Ireland one pierhead jump ahead of Her Majesty’s representatives,who wanted him to take part in a brief civil ceremony (at least his part, the dropping and kicking).  Welcome to the family, PM!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 14 at 11:04 AM • permalink

  42. I feel nothing but pity and contempt for youse who dont have convict ancestry.

    Youre nothing but a bunch of mozzie poofters

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 02 14 at 11:15 AM • permalink

  43. Well, how is your HoWARd on bribery and cutting funds for his own troops if he doesn’t get his way?

    Hope this finds you well,

    The Ghost of John Murtha’s Integrity

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 02 14 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  44. I know you’re all justifiably proud of your convict past, but tortoiseshell watch theft? Please. Today that would get you 20 hours community service, max. When I was at the Wicklow Gael in Ireland, I was astonished by the “crimes” that could get you transported, like filching a few sticks of firewood. And then, of course, there were all those political prisoners. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the Brits had an ulterior motive. Hmmmm

    #12—We’ve had Muslims shooting up the LA airport, downtown San Francisco, downtown Seattle and now downtown Salt Lake City (liberal bastions all—isn’t that odd). And each time it’s happened, the official line goes something like this:

    “We don’t have any motive or reason behind his actions. We know very little,” Mr Burbank said, adding that the victims were picked at random.

    “From everything we have gathered, it appears very random and (there) was no sense to why he was doing what he was doing.”

    We can’t be that clueless. Can we?

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 14 at 11:45 AM • permalink

  45. I know you’re all justifiably proud of your convict past, but tortoiseshell watch theft? Please. Today that would get you 20 hours community service, max.

    It would depend if you killed the sea turtle first, Kyda! And an interesting Freudian typo-slip, Kyda, “Gael” for “Gaol”. Be careful, or you’ll have a Human Rights Commission investigating you.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 14 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  46. My Dad’s ancestors were cleared out of Scotland after the ‘45, for which I am eternally grateful.  No chasing sheep around the sodden glen for me.  It occurs to me that if the Jacobites had waited a few years, I’d have been an Aussie.  Oh, well.

    I have always thought that the similarities of convict transport and the Clearances are the reason that many Aussies and Yanks get on so well without all that puffing one’s self up that goes with Pommies.

    John Howard, to coin a phrase - good on ya.

    Posted by Winger on 2007 02 14 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  47. #45 - that’s right, andy, if you kill the little darlin, you’re doin’ time…at the very least, d’you suppose PETA folks & their followers will picket your house?

    #42 - jack, I love this word you use -  “poofters.” I hope I can figger out a place to use it properly!

    And Happy Chocolate-Lovers Day to all of you!

    Posted by KC on 2007 02 14 at 12:19 PM • permalink

  48. Oh, is it Ray Nagin Day in Kansas City, KC? (Assuming that you’re from K.C., KC.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 14 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  49. Naw, andy, much as I love Kansas, I’m retired in NEFlorida…but I’m a Chiefs fan cuz they’ve got my initials on their helmets! If ol Ray shows up here, I may have to move back to the great plains.

    Used to post under “Auntie KC” but disparaging remarks about the “Aunty” in Oz decided me to change it.

    Posted by KC on 2007 02 14 at 12:53 PM • permalink

  50. #26, Stop Continental Drift:

    Hah, we Yanks don’t even have the Pilgrims any more. Nowadays (at least in the liberal cities, one of which I grew up in) it’s a standard tactic to deplore the eeevil, eeeeeeevil pilgrims who looted and raped the country of the noble American Indigenous Matriarchal Culture watchamajigger. I had a teacher who refused to celebrate Columbus Day and liked to give lectures on how the pilgrims were actually the scum of the earth. And when Thanksgiving rolled around, he would positively froth at the mouth.

    Aussies, never forget your roots. Be proud of those convict ancestors, lest ye go the way that American moonbat education is going.

    How do you apply for Australian citizenship . . . ?

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 02 14 at 12:56 PM • permalink

  51. davis marr would have made a fabulous cabin boy.

    Posted by vinny on 2007 02 14 at 03:48 PM • permalink

  52. Well, duh!

    Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

    - Vizzini

    Posted by Keith on 2007 02 14 at 03:59 PM • permalink

  53. I knew it! Those beady eyes, set too close together. Low, sloping forehead, indicative of a semi-moron. Long fingers, perfect for snatching up loose articles in restaurants.

    You can always tell a member of the hereditary criminal class.

    /sarc

    Posted by mojo on 2007 02 14 at 04:43 PM • permalink

  54. John Winger: We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi, we’re not Spartans, we’re Americans. With a capital “A”, huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog. We’re mutts.
    —Stripes, 1981

    Posted by mojo on 2007 02 14 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  55. #50 I had a teacher who refused to celebrate Columbus Day and liked to give lectures on how the pilgrims were actually the scum of the earth.

    His name wasn’t ‘Marr’ by any chance of common descent? Our boy Marr writes books against Christians.

    All my ancestors way back have proved to be good Christians of many brand names, and they all paid their way to Oz. 
    And I am poor, so where did I go wrong?

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 02 14 at 05:52 PM • permalink

  56. transported for life on the Fanny

    why does this make me giggle?

     

    *note to US friends, fanny in Aus is NOT your backside.

    Posted by kae on 2007 02 14 at 06:27 PM • permalink

  57. My esteemed English Ancestor of the Name found that urgent business called him elsewhere (specifically, the American colonies) shortly after his father was beheaded by the Crown for heresy.  Does that count?  We’re rather proud of him, and have continued the tradition of obnoxious opinions ever since.

    Posted by bad cat robot on 2007 02 14 at 07:29 PM • permalink

  58. Oh nooooooo—- now we’ll never hear the end of leftie comparisons between John Howards ancestors and the recent boat people - along the lines of:

    “What if John Howard’s ancestors had been banned from landing on the grounds that they were not the type of people wanted in Australia, or because they didnt have documents—blah blah blah”.

    Curses on Marr for making this possible. Any bets on how long it will take for the first article to be published?

    Posted by dee on 2007 02 14 at 07:48 PM • permalink

  59. bad cat robot,

    You had an esteemed English colonial ancestor named “bad cat robot”? No wonder he had to leave England in a hurry.

    Posted by jgm on 2007 02 14 at 10:33 PM • permalink

  60. #59 jgm
    curious, isn’t it?  The only hint we have is a cryptic manuscript that credits a “Master Wronwryght, who hath shewn mee his most curious Device for Travelling Time and other Marvels, not least of which being a Clockwork Catt he calls Row-bott.”

    I blame the Sumerian mead.

    Posted by bad cat robot on 2007 02 15 at 12:24 AM • permalink

  61. Too bad ol’ Dave’s parents weren’t queer like him.

    Then all he’d be is a little .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

    Oh1 wait a minute….......

    Posted by deadparrot on 2007 02 15 at 04:30 AM • permalink

  62. Oh! wait a minute….......


    PIMF

    Posted by deadparrot on 2007 02 15 at 04:31 AM • permalink

  63. Marr Kettle?

    I say Parr ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 15 at 08:09 AM • permalink

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