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TIME ON HIS HANDS
Popular Islamist orator Abu Hamza al-Masri has been convicted of fomenting racial hatred:
During the trial, al-Masri, who has called the Sept. 11 attacks a Jewish plot and the invasion of Iraq a war on Islam, took the stand and denied any involvement in violence. He said he is only a spokesman for political causes.
But prosecutor David Perry told the jury of seven men and five women: “The prosecution case, in a sentence, is that the defendant ... was preaching murder and hatred in these talks.”
In speeches at the mosque and elsewhere, al-Masri called Jews “blasphemous, traitors and dirty” and said their behavior was “why Hitler was sent into the world,” Perry said.
Abu Hamza copped seven years. Abye bye, Abu!
UPDATE. Hook-handed Hamza’s hooker hijinks!
I wonder if Captain Hook will still have a government-funded “groom of the stool” in the Big House? It’d be such a terrible shame if he suffered a horrible toilet accident…
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 02 07 at 10:28 PM • permalinkTim, your post headline is wrong, since the good Imam is shy a hand. It should read:
TIME ON HIS HAND
SPosted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 02 07 at 10:40 PM • permalinkRats, PIMF!
Try this:
TIME ON HIS HAND
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 02 07 at 10:41 PM • permalinkWill we ever find out the sound of one hand clapping in a mosque?
Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 02 07 at 10:54 PM • permalinkYeah so he claims Murph, a bit like in Ireland a few years back every oul’ git would tell you how he had fought in the Easter Rising.
My understanding is that the Arab mujahadeen in Afghanistan were regarded by the Afghans as bigger bloody nuisances than the Soviets. Given that he lost two hands and an eye I imagine it wasn’t a mine that injured him but something he was playing with at the time so I think the Afghans were on to something.
Actually whilst the Afghans were delighted to take Saudi cash they were mortified that the Arabs thought they needed help to fight the Russkies. The Afghans, proud levellers of empires, heroic descendants of the men who wiped out the British army at Gandamak, laughed at the idea that a bunch of Arabs who hadn’t won a battle in a thousand years could possibly be of any use.
It is my understanding that Osama’s chief role was to lead a detachment into the caves in the mountains where for two weeks they were strafed and shelled by the Russians, at the end of the fortnight half the original number slinked back to base never having actually fired a shot. It was on this performance that “Sheik” Osama built his fearsome reputation.
Incidentally I noticed a banner hanging from the building site opposite the court where Abu was sent down. The builders had written “Sling Your Hook”, in the vein of “Sod of Swampy” I thought, Londoners ya gotta love ‘em.
Posted by Harry Flashman on 2006 02 07 at 11:22 PM • permalinkBut can we publish mocking cartoons of him?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 02 07 at 11:23 PM • permalinkQ/ No hands and one hook. How does he wipe his arse?
A/ Carefully.Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 02 07 at 11:38 PM • permalinkActually, no.
How does he wipe his arse? With a taxpayer funded nurse.
Regarding his hook, he was fitted with special £5,000 replacement hooks (courtesy of the British taxpayer) because it was feared his original metal ones could be used as weapons.
This, and more hooky arse-wiping goodness here.
As Islam is the fastest growing religion in prisons, I do hope he won’t be giving any sermons to anyone being released in the next century…
Just add his sermon time onto the length of sentence of anyone who listens…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 02 07 at 11:54 PM • permalink#21 Dan- That’s classic! His arsewiper’s name is Harry, otherwise known as ‘Dirty Harry’!
Lucky his name wasnt Sanchez ‘cos then they would’ve had to call him…err nevermind.Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 02 08 at 12:01 AM • permalinkOK, no hands, so the title should be #5, as per murph! 8^D
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 02 08 at 12:14 AM • permalinkOr, as the guy said in “Zulu”... “Off you go, Hooky, you done your bit.”
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 02 08 at 03:02 AM • permalinkMy understanding is that he lost it in a land mine explosion whilst fighting the Soviets in Afghanistan.
Nah! That’s just the storey he tells. I heard he actually lost his hands catching fish with dynamite. He was a bit slow throwing it into the waterhole after he lit the wick.
Posted by Mikie Slats on 2006 02 09 at 02:00 AM • permalink
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Bye bye Abu! I hope you can toss a great salad.