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TILTS AHOY

Sophia College. And the staff of Sophia College.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/25/2007 at 11:57 AM
  1. “Val has a long standing private practise in Psychology and Counselling. ” She is also the staff hairdresser.

    “Anita has a background in Hospitality Management working for Swiss Hotelier association as hotel manager . . . Anita is involved in the clay therapy unit.” Welcome to the Bates Motel. May I cover you in dirt?

    Weird. Very weird.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  2. “A centre of excellence for soul education that marries the scientific and creative fields of human knowledge to cultivate a sustainable and holistic flourishing of body, mind and spirit through innovative professional programs that promote peace, social justice and well being within individuals, communities and nations.”

    That’s heavy, man…very heavy.  I mean, like, that blows my mind.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 01 25 at 12:38 PM • permalink

  3. About as usefull as learning to plait your own shit.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 01 25 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  4. From the mission statement

    To create a life-long passion for learning, a spirit of humility in the face of human unknowingness, an urge to challenge what is known in a search for what is yet unknown, and a commitment to finding meetings between the material and immaterial aspects of human experience.

    Just love it especially the words

    “Human unknowingness”

    This must mean ignorance I think

    And now they’re opening up in Byron Bay - they’ll be rolling in $$$$ soon

    And as for the staff profiles - one of the staff completed her practicum in Nimbin - for those in the US, the people of Nimbin are in a 60’s and 70’s time warp - aging hippies living in communes smoking pot and living off welfare

    Lovely country up there - shame about the inhabitants

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 25 at 12:40 PM • permalink

  5. Hmmm.  Alpiste.  Sandbox and clay therapy. 

    Hmmm.

    Hey Paco, how’s Australia’s favorite US Marine gettin’ on?

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 01 25 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  6. A centre of excellence for soul education that marries the scientific and creative fields of human knowledge to cultivate a sustainable and holistic flourishing of body, mind and spirit through innovative professional programs that promote peace, social justice and well being within individuals, communities and nations.

    How do they always manage to make efforts that ought to be helpful, or at the least harmless, sound so godawful stupid?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 25 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  7. #5 Kind of you to ask, Olrence. He just shipped out to Camp Geiger (near Camp Lejeune) in North Carolina for two months of infantry training. He spent a week in Richmond, VA, working out of the Marine recruiting office; this involved visiting high schools and junior colleges. He was apparently embarassed by the fact that not only the students, but even some of the teachers, called him “sir” (his response? “Dudes! I’m a private!”).

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 12:54 PM • permalink

  8. Ah yes, but he’s an INFANTRY private!
    More power to his right arm (as they say in the classics).

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 01 25 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  9. 6: How do they always manage to make efforts that ought to be helpful, or at the least harmless, sound so godawful stupid?

    Ah, Rebecca; do I sense negative waves? Spiritual imbalance? The yin not grooving with the yang? Then you need to take Guru Paco’s correspondence course, Peaceful Alternatives to Cognitive Orthodoxy, a 12-step program that will harmonize the humors, dissipate the vapors, and otherwise give your spirit the snap, crackle and pop experienced by the leading wise persons of the ages. Order now, and I will throw in some love beads and a digitally-remastered CD of Judy Collins’ greatest hits.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  10. Good grief.  “Teacher:  Graduate Certificate in Artistic Therapies in Sand Play.”

    I get it.  They teach adults how to stave off adulthood to remain permananent children.  How appropriate for these folks.

    Posted by the wolf on 2007 01 25 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  11. Since it’s beginning, I am pleased to say that we have attracted dedicate staff and inspired students, who have embraced the spirit, humanity and ethics of Sophia College.”

    If you tilt, you don’t have to edit.

    I used to explain, to dedicate students of grammar, that you don’t write a possessive `` her’s ,’’ so it isn’t `` it’s ‘’ in the possessive either.  But I’ve seen `` her’s ‘’ now.  It’s all over.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 01 25 at 01:23 PM • permalink

  12. Catherine Van Wilgenberg M.A., Dip Ed

    I love that degree.

    Apparently they don’t fold them anymore.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 01 25 at 01:30 PM • permalink

  13. Hey, at least the place has given old hippies jobs.

    Camp GEIGER?  I would so freak.

    Posted by ushie on 2007 01 25 at 01:30 PM • permalink

  14. Dude, where’s my university?

    Posted by Diggs on 2007 01 25 at 01:37 PM • permalink

  15. Good Lord, Paco, don’t let Pvt. Paco discourage *anybody* from calling him `sir.’  If his mere presence causes people to start speaking more politely, well, this is a Good Thing Indeed and we need more of it. 

    As for the Sophia ladies, they sound kinda goofy but at least they don’t appear to be hate-filled harpies.  And ``Dr. Felicity Grace’’ sounds like an angelic character in a grade-school play about The Spirit of Christmas.  I wonder if it’s her real name.

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 01 25 at 01:58 PM • permalink

  16. #15 I wonder if it’s her real name.

    I have it on good authority that her real name is Zelda Lipschitz and she’s an ex-truck driver. Interesting specializations, though: “the operation of heterosexual norms within bank lending”.

    As to Private Paco, I told him he should play the deference for all it’s worth. Some associate professor smacks his chewing gum while Paco, Jr’s talking to him? “On the ground, maggot, and give me twenty!”

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 02:07 PM • permalink

  17. My apology for this OT.

    (yesterday evening at the wronwright household)

    Mrs. Wronwright:  Oh isn’t that nice?

    Wronwright:  What’s that dear?

    Mww:  Paco.  He’s written another installment of Detective Paco.  He’s receiving so many compliments.

    Ww:  pffffff.

    Mww:  What’s that dear?

    Ww:  Paco.  It’s not fiction.  He’s simply writing an account of a real life PI.  Anyone could do that.  Even Crittenden.

    Mww:  He’s a highly regarded author.  Many are calling him a combination of Raymond Chandler and Donald Westlake.

    Ww:  Who’s saying that?  The only one I see talking about Donald Westlake is paco.  I don’t even know who Westlake is.  I think he made him up.

    Mww:  Well, I like him.  And he’s such a good father.  He’s raised a fine young son.  Paco Jr. just graduated from Marine boot camp.

    Ww:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  That’s all I’ve heard lately.  Paco Jr, Marine.  Paco Jr., War Hero.  Tim Blair wrote a whole post on it.  When I was promoted to Henchman 1st Class, not a word on his blog.  But Blair posts a photo of Paco Jr., in all his Marine glory.  Favorites.  Yes, Blair has his favorites.
    Mww.  Wasn’t he was named Comment Czar by Tim?  That sounds like a very prestigious position.

    Ww:  Prestigious?  Oh piddle.  It’s a honorary title.  Like the President of Germany.  No substance whatsoever.

    Mww:  Well it pays well.

    Ww:  What?

    Mww:  Well, it must.  I saw Mrs. Paco the other day in Washington when I visited Daddy.  She was wearing an Artic Fox trim coat.

    Ww:  Oh god.  Not again.

    Mww:  And carrying an alligator hand bag and matching shoes.

    Ww:  Oh jeez.

    Mww:  They must do so well.

    Ww: 

    Mww:  Better than us.

    Ww:  (rolls eyes)

    Mww:  Then there’s his businesses.  He is such a good businessman.  Mrs. Paco says he’s estimating another record year in sales and profits.

    Ww:  It’s all crap. 

    Mww:  What dear?

    Ww:  His businesses.  They sell badly produced products, manufactured by exploited immigrants living in constant fear of paco’s security apparatus.  He’s breaking laws.  He’ll be caught one of these days.  It’s just a matter of time.  Then it’ll be soap on the rope for him.

    Mww:  And Paco Jr., such a handsome young man too.  If our daughter was a little older, I would even think he’d make a good beau for our Imelda.

    Ww:  (spits out mead)  A good beau?  Our Immie, with the spawn of the robber baron?  Mead, I need more mead.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 25 at 02:10 PM • permalink

  18. Wronwright: I am copying that and saving it to my personal archives. Absolutely hilarious!

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 02:26 PM • permalink

  19. How many of these degrees (about half of them spell PhD wrongly) are genuine? I suggest the WA Liberal Party spokesman on Education, Peter Collier, get onto investigating this fast!

    Posted by McAnzac on 2007 01 25 at 02:28 PM • permalink

  20. Zelda! So that’s where she went.

    She never wrote to say why.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 01 25 at 02:29 PM • permalink

  21. Is this one of those schools for the rich and stupid?

    Yikes!

    Posted by trainer on 2007 01 25 at 02:30 PM • permalink

  22. The only normal staffer is the grounds maintainence guy. He like, knows stuff.

    As for the remainder, I’m waiting for Habib’s withering assessment. Habib..?

    Posted by JAFA on 2007 01 25 at 02:33 PM • permalink

  23. #17: I’m overjoyed! Another testimonial! Hear what leading critic Wronwright has to say: “He’s . . . writing an account of a real life . . . prestigious . . . substance . . . He’ll be . . . President of Germany . . . someday.”

    No, no, really, you are too kind. And I have no political ambitions, in Germany or elsewhere.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 02:44 PM • permalink

  24. Meh… sounds like a pretty good business to me. They’re charging between $445 and $1200 per module, their requirements are fluency in English, they charge $100 per hour of assessors time if you want assessment to recognise prior learning, and you can hand in assignments late if you pay $100. I’m truly impressed - virtually every page I’ve clicked on has something they’re charging for.

    Provided they don’t actually believe their own bullshit, it strikes me as a truly magnificent money making scam.

    And people say all you can do with an arts degree is serve fries…

    Posted by pache on 2007 01 25 at 02:49 PM • permalink

  25. #22 The only normal staffer is the grounds maintainence guy. He like, knows stuff.

    Indeed he does.  Check out his staff photo.  He’s wearing mouse ears.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 25 at 03:18 PM • permalink

  26. Ww:  His businesses.  They sell badly produced products, manufactured by exploited immigrants living in constant fear of paco’s security apparatus. 

    It sounds like you need a Product Analysis Crap Obliterator to allow you to dispose of substandard products safely, wronwright. No messy biohazards or radiation alerts when you use this baby to remove shoddily-made household goods that are past their “use before” date. PACO: helping you clean up so that we can clean up, every time.

    (I am being paid on commission, aren’t I, paco?)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 25 at 03:27 PM • permalink

  27. #25

    Well he did live in the “Untied States

    Guess the tin foil hats don’t work as well in OZ when having to deal with the sand and color therapists.

    Posted by dond on 2007 01 25 at 03:30 PM • permalink

  28. #26: Absolutely, Andy. In fact, I think you’re about ready for a company car.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 03:33 PM • permalink

  29. Wooh-hee! Mr. Paco, sir. I just have to get Mrs. Wronwright’s e-address to direct mail her all the quality fine products offered by PACO, and I’m sure that I’ll crack that $10,000/month in sales barrier, sir.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 25 at 03:57 PM • permalink

  30. #24
    their requirements are fluency in English
    kevin Rudd is going to be so disappointed.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 01 25 at 04:22 PM • permalink

  31. Incidentally, wronwright’s just being modest. He gets plenty of attention .

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 04:35 PM • permalink

  32. Tilts ahoy ... try malnutrition ahoy.  Poor woman can’t hold her head up.  I prescribe red meat. Lots of it.

    Great ear for dialogue, Wronwright.  And the mead thirst bit at the end added a key touch of verissimilitude.

    Posted by crittenden on 2007 01 25 at 05:18 PM • permalink

  33. Just the homepage had my mouth hanging open. That site is just…. wow!

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 25 at 05:22 PM • permalink

  34. Yeahbutnobutyeahbutnobut! Does anyone actually teach anything??

    Posted by Gravelly on 2007 01 25 at 05:22 PM • permalink

  35. Strange place for a college.  A long way from a client base. About 200km from Perth and a fair way inland from the nearest major city, Bunbury.

    Brunswick Junction is a few streets and a couple of petrol stations on the South Western Highway, Western Australia.  It is, however, hippy country, the door-step of WA’s alternative community who live in the bush inland from Bunbury and Busselton.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 01 25 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  36. I can’t decide which is more hilarious, The Sophia College for the Self-Indulgent, or the Triumvirate of Wit:  wronwright, paco and crittenden.

    Fine work, gentlemen.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 25 at 05:32 PM • permalink

  37. MY EYES!!!! MY EEEEYYYYYYEEESSSSS!!!!!!

    blair ought to warn a guy before linking that stuff

    Posted by SoberHT on 2007 01 25 at 05:36 PM • permalink

  38. Oh, dear.

    Byron Bay has to be one of the most beautiful places on the planet.  Why does it attract so many crackpots?

    Anyone attending that college should be monitored.

    Posted by ann j on 2007 01 25 at 05:37 PM • permalink

  39. Just reading the staff page and nearly fell off the chair laughing. When I had my rugrat, my birthing partner was a Jacqui Dodds.

    Just not that one.

    Oh. My. Gourd. Reading this so reminds me of my detention adventure with the breatharians.

    And can anyone please explain what a Dip. Private Subconscious Mind is?

    I’ve got a CT scan of my skull to prove that there’s a brain in there, so I’m just wondering if it’s the same sort of thing.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 25 at 05:38 PM • permalink

  40. Sun’s forgotten the yardarm ever existed ... I’ll join you in a mead, Wron.  Thank you, Spiny Norm.  Since you asked, it’s pretty much Crittenden, Paco, Sophia College and then Wronwright, unless he’s been hitting the mead.  Then it’s Wronwright, Crittenden, Paco, Sophia.

    Hmmm.  Good mead.

    OK. It’s Sophia. Then Wronwright drunk. Paco shilling his cheap Chinese knockoffs with a Cafe Press “PACO” logo taped on, then Crittenden. 

    Of course, Wrongwright sober pretty much takes it, too.

    What’s the chance anyone can get out to Bunko Junction and do some photo reconnaisance?  Maybe pose as a prospective student and report back?

    Posted by crittenden on 2007 01 25 at 05:44 PM • permalink

  41. #39: And can anyone please explain what a Dip. Private Subconscious Mind is?

    That is a reference to the delusion that one has actually earned a diploma.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 05:45 PM • permalink

  42. Ah, paco (and crittenden), I signed up for updates on Kurdistan.  It is the neatest place—even that maladroit malcontent wronwright would love to visit there.  I hope paco jr. and his comrades can quiet down the rest of the joint—I want to visit!

    Posted by ushie on 2007 01 25 at 05:46 PM • permalink

  43. One of those guys is a non-conformist, he is not tilting but he still looks like a psychopath. The theme of bullshit in academia is pursued on this thread on the question of who is educated these days among all the people who emerge from the humanities and social sciences.

    Posted by Rafe on 2007 01 25 at 05:50 PM • permalink

  44. #42 Ushie: I’ve heard they are doing some fine things, there. When my brother was serving in Iraq, he had nothing but praise for the Kurds - at least partly because they weren’t at all shy about delivering terrorists into the hands of the U.S. military.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 05:54 PM • permalink

  45. Kurd: Here is terrorist.

    Paco’s brother, with clipboard: One terrorist, slightly ill-used.

    Kurd: Here is one more terrorist.

    Paco’s brother: One terrorist, some shipping damage.

    Kurd: One more terrorist.  This one, on the house. For you!

    Paco’s brother: Ooh, this one’s a nice terrorist. Good condition.

    Kurd: This one, blah blah blah, all the time. No damage. Keep away from others!

    Posted by crittenden on 2007 01 25 at 06:14 PM • permalink

  46. What great entertainment. 

    When they dig everything up in a few thousand years, they’ll marvel at the strange indulgences of a once great and powerful civilization . . . kinda like we marvel at Roman vomitoria.

    I’m sure these ‘teachers’ would be loathe to admit that they could only thrive and prosper in the free and successful society in which they live—one which, in all likelihood, they despise.

    Posted by cosmo on 2007 01 25 at 06:33 PM • permalink

  47. Tim!

    How about a bloody Australia Day thread?

    Happy Oz Day, everyone.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 25 at 06:35 PM • permalink

  48. #3 So when you tell someone to go plait shit, that’s where they should go?

    I see.

    And I suppose this place is partially funded by taxpayers? (Surprise me!)

    You learn so much here at Tim’s.

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 25 at 06:47 PM • permalink

  49. Plaiting beats sucking it into a point and stabbing yourself in the eye.

    Posted by CB on 2007 01 25 at 06:56 PM • permalink

  50. #24 pache.  They seem to have diverged a bit too much from the successful Scientology model.  I predict healthy, but not spectacular, returns.  Best for investors with a long term focus, especially those seeking “collapse of civilisation” dividends.

    On the other hand, the maintainance guy is nearing retirement, so factor that into your decision.

    Posted by Brett_McS on 2007 01 25 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  51. Check out the very last photo. Are you sure that’s not Tim Blair?

    P.S, loved this:

    Teacher:  Graduate Certificate in Artistic Therapies in Sand Play.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 25 at 07:36 PM • permalink

  52. It was, I think, Phineas T.Barnum who observed that “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”

    Good to see the Sophia U mob - Sophists, Sophistry ???? - have taken in the great man’s teaching, merely with a different target audience.

    Cheers
    RodC

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 01 25 at 07:39 PM • permalink

  53. #45

    Critts, very funny. I like that.

    Teacher:  Graduate Certificate in Artistic Therapies in Sand Play.

    This Sophia College proves that truth is stranger than parody.

    Most of the staff LOOK like a bunch of withered hippy-flower-children way past their prime!

    Perhaps it should be called Sophist CollegeSophist College

    1.b. a person belonging to this class at a later period who, while professing to teach skill in reasoning, concerned himself with ingenuity and specious effectiveness rather than soundness of argument.

     

    2. a person who reasons adroitly and speciously rather than soundly. 

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 25 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  54. I appear to be developing a nasty stutter.

    I have also realised that I no longer have “Senior Moments”, but now have “Lucid Moments”...

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 25 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  55. It’s cynical antikarmites like you guys that throw the cosmic balance out of, um…balance, all the time.

    This thread alone will take half the staff at Sophia College at least 3 hours of meditation, at full pace, to prevent the Earth from tumbling off the Great Turtle.

    Well done.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 25 at 07:57 PM • permalink

  56. #17 Wronwright + Paco that is absolutely hilarious. Cheers.

    #38 . As a longtime Byron Shire resident I take offence at that comment. Now I’m upset. I think I need some artistic sand play therapy. Following by a relaxing few hours on Main Beach, plaiting my own shit.

    I once saw some kind of therapy class in operation at the Byron Bay Community Centre. Walked past a window and happened to look in. Big mistake. Group of earnest middle-class designer-hippie types were standing fully clothed with legs apart making motions over their genitals with both hands that looked suspiciously like wanking. Then they would raise their hands together, still doing this wierd wanking thing, and release them above their head.

    Releasing I would be tortured for life by this image unless I learned more, I stopped and asked someone standing at the door what they were doing.

    Answer: They were making butterflies out of their primal sexual energy. And then releasing them.

    All part of life’s rich pageant, don’t ya know

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 25 at 08:20 PM • permalink

  57. #56 realising I would be tortured. Sheesh.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 01 25 at 08:24 PM • permalink

  58. Thanks crittenden.  I thought I had better contribute something a tad bit better than stream of conscious beer soaked babblings to keep up with the showings of talent by paco, penguin, yourself, and others.

    I happen to believe it’s the dialogues, the short stories, the parodies, poems, and songs that many talented people contribute to this blog that make it truly unique.  I can go to many blogs and read many well written essays and comments on myriad subjects of vital importance.  But no other blog (except for yours crittenden, which is quickly careening to the front of the pack) has the zany comments that this one does.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 25 at 08:30 PM • permalink

  59. #56

    Answer: They were making butterflies out of their primal sexual energy. And then releasing them.

    They’re still wankers.

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 25 at 08:30 PM • permalink

  60. Thanks to all for their compliments.

    (writes down names of those whose absence of flattery is particularly conspicuous)

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 25 at 08:32 PM • permalink

  61. You’re a dead-set genius, wron.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 01 25 at 08:46 PM • permalink

  62. Donald Westlake, pooh.  What you want is Thomas Berger (``Who Is Teddy Villanova?’‘)  Bring a dictionary.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 01 25 at 08:49 PM • permalink

  63. All theses degress, certifications, etc.  WHO issued this junk?  Does Australia have a standards board?  Or can just anyone start a college and start giving credit and degrees?

    Posted by rabidfox on 2007 01 25 at 08:50 PM • permalink

  64. Good grief, its the sort of education style they have been striving for here in Brackistan for ages.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 25 at 09:28 PM • permalink

  65. Have a look at Clive Davis’s website (the guy at the end who looks like Tim crossed with Kevni). I was about to drill my frontal lobe when I noticed the “quote” on the right:

    “We are all children of the universal love.
    Let us never forget that we all have a purpose in life, and that we are all loved and wanted.”
    Clive Davis 2006

    Enough said.

    Posted by Kobaal on 2007 01 25 at 09:42 PM • permalink

  66. The crowd at my place is all business by comparison, wronwright, with all that blah blah blah war blah blah blah iraq I’m serving up. There’s definitely something different here.  It’s like the water’s going down the toilet the wrong way or something. 

    Speaking of which, at your house, you got the water to go down the toilet the wron way yet?

    Posted by crittenden on 2007 01 25 at 09:56 PM • permalink

  67. ...ahem…GREAT stuff, wronwright! Just brilliant, eh? Thanks!

    I’m having the opposite of Kae’s lucid moments. Now that I know what the problem is, Kae, what do I do about it? I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have a real job…?

    Posted by KC on 2007 01 25 at 09:59 PM • permalink

  68. At least two of the women on the staff look a bit pleasing to the eye.

    The rest of them, including the boss surely need some work.

    Maybe we should check the site periodically to see if “all this stuff that they do” produces any positive results to their appearance.

    Posted by Dave Wane on 2007 01 25 at 10:00 PM • permalink

  69. #67
    AuntyKC

    Hmm, be patient. The Senior Moments will join together and you will be left with Lucid Moments.
    By that stage you prolly won’t know what’s going on, so can just enjoy it in the (mostly) Senior Time…

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 25 at 10:02 PM • permalink

  70. Auntie

    *PACO is my fiend.

    (Preview And Correct, Okay?)

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 25 at 10:04 PM • permalink

  71. Rita Wiggan looks so normal (and exciting)!!!!

    Posted by Dave Wane on 2007 01 25 at 10:06 PM • permalink

  72. “We are all children of universal love.  Except that guy over there. Let’s ostracize him. We’ll start by pointing at his feet, rolling our eyes and whispering to each other behind our hands.”

    Jules Crittenden, 2007

    Posted by crittenden on 2007 01 25 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  73. #45: Very good, Jules!

    I remember one letter, in particular, that my brother wrote me. He said a Kurd turned over to him some kind of home-made bazooka or rocket launcher or something, and told him that he got it off a terrorist “who wouldn’t need it anymore.”

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 10:25 PM • permalink

  74. Answer: They were making butterflies out of their primal sexual energy. And then releasing them.

    That has to be one of the dumbest things ever said by one adult human about another adult human.  The poor dumb f***ers probably don’t know that there is an easier and more fun way of releasing sexual energy.  Only, I ain’t telling them, they might reproduce.

    Posted by David Crawford on 2007 01 25 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  75. Hmm. Mebbe..?
    Hmm. That has to be it…

    I think I know why I never make bloody henchman in this VRWC. I cannot hold a candle to Paco and Wronwright’s humorous prose.

    I bet they are both looking suspiciously at Crittenden, though, what with the next round of henchman selections coming up.

    MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC.

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 01 25 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  76. #66 crittenden
    “There’s definitely something different here.”

    Exactly right. My wife and I agree that the comments on this blog generally leave us with feelings of happiness in realising that there are many clear thinking and very talented people out there, so there’s hope yet for us all.
    By contrast, we also avidly read Andrew Bolt’s blog which has happily just resumed, but find that it’s very difficult to wade through the high proportion of ignorant and just plain nasty comments his work seems to attract ... something not seen here.
    Maybe it’s the influence of talent not only from down here but also the considerable input from over there that raises the standard of comment so much. Whatever it is, may it long continue.
    Wronwright #58 got it right indeed. Talented zaniness is a darn good way to go.

    Posted by galenmk on 2007 01 25 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  77. #66 Jules: what you really need is a “surge” by commenters here to deal with some of your trolls. Come on, people, let’s get ‘em! OORAH!

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 10:40 PM • permalink

  78. #75: C’mon, MarkL! I’m sure Wronwright meant to promote you; he probably just got your paperwork mixed up with his file on Tardis repair and maintenance invoices (oh, by the way: that $2,000 charge for deluxe seat covers represents a huge bargain, wronwright; the cloth came from the last bolt of wool in existence derived from a now-extinct variety of sheep that lived on Easter Island).

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 25 at 10:51 PM • permalink

  79. OT/ amongst creepy‘arse shots’  of ladies by Moonbat Mark over at Prodildo, are some of the weirdest comments I’ve read on a blog in a long time, especially given the topic is ‘Australia Day’

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 25 at 11:02 PM • permalink

  80. Is this site a pisstake: Graduate Certificate in Artistic Therapies in Sand Play In Social Studies ... CATSPISS?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 25 at 11:08 PM • permalink

  81. Bet they have a kickass mascot though.

    Maybe not a snorting bull, or a rampant lion, or a fearless knight.
    No.

    Maybe something more along the lines of an androgynous fairy. Or, considering the female staff, a bridge troll. Or virtually any invertebrate.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 01 25 at 11:11 PM • permalink

  82. #47 SCD

    Happy Oz Day, everyone.

    Hear hear!
    A day to be proud: our forefolks did a great job!

    Any ancestral stories on this proud day?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 25 at 11:42 PM • permalink

  83. A centre of excellence for soul education..

    Yea huh!

    That would be Detroit, Motown. Not Brunswick Junction, no town.

    Sweet Jesus, that white girl got no common sense.

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 01 25 at 11:45 PM • permalink

  84. #83
    They’d better have cajun on the menu ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 25 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  85. Sweet, sweet Jesus.

    That was the most funny, craptastical website I’ve seen in a long time.

    I wonder if they have anyone on staff with a degree in Creative Random Alternative Psychotherapy?

    Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 01 26 at 12:20 AM • permalink

  86. Leah’s varied employment history includes being a stunt diver in Thailand and China

    That would be mandatory in such places, wouldn’t it?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 26 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  87. #76 galenmk, my theory on why bolta gets so many idiot trolls and nufnufs is because he has been writing for the Hun for years. I’ve been reading him for at least 6. The only reason I bought the dead tree edition was for his columns and the letters to teh editor.

    It was courtesy of a column of his that I found my way into the blogosphere - this here place in particular - and have never found my way out again.

    And since his page in the dead tree also has his blog listed, then you can bet a few bozos will take advantage of the opportunity to display their ignorance.

    Plus, he’s Andrew Bolt! And they can communicate with him.

    Sort of.

    That’s my theory, anyway.

    As for Wronwright?

    I’ve been out working this arvo, hence have not had the opportunity to suck up to you until now.

    You, sir, are handsdown a fucking legend! I am in awe of your capacity to imbibe mead, Sumerian or otherwise, and I confess I’ve never seen anyone do what you do with a zulu spear.

    Well, before Andrea got her hands on it.

    Mrs Wronwright is a lucky, lucky woman.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 26 at 01:08 AM • permalink

  88. Class in session

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 26 at 01:41 AM • permalink

  89. Darn you, wronwright!  Darn you to heck!

    ‘scuse my French, but I think I separated a rib reading your post.

    And to Paco, Jr., my CPO instructors at OCS used to say, when incorrectly addressed as “sir:”

    “Don’t call me sir, I work for a living!”

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 01 26 at 01:50 AM • permalink

  90. The campus landscape is pretty nice.

    If they plan to expand classroom space, I have a shed I’m using anymore.

    Posted by Dusty on 2007 01 26 at 01:53 AM • permalink

  91. Clientelle photos look of ‘well-healed’ middle-(new)aged wimmin

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 26 at 02:10 AM • permalink

  92. I know it’s OUT THERE but,

    Australia has RIPPED through the England line-up.

    Our boys are carrying on the great tradition of teaching foreigners how to chuck a BROWN-EYE!!!!

    Pity about the bloody whites though.

    Should have remembered to take the pants off first!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 01 26 at 02:23 AM • permalink

  93. #82 egg_   Thanks for also recognising Australia Day.

    I’m afraid that I’m getting distinctly miffed.  Here we are, Australia’s national day and just egg_ and I recognising it (apologies to anyone I missed).

    At least we are enjoying the Poms getting horsewhipped in the cricket, but fair suck of the sav, people.  Piss poor effort.

    Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2007 01 26 at 02:32 AM • permalink

  94. WELCOME TO SHEILA COLLEGE


    WHO IS SHEILA?, YOU ASK.

    SHEILA IS NOT A PERSON.  IT IS THE HOLISTIC EMBODIMENT OF AUSTRALIAN FEMININITY


    jlc

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 01 26 at 02:32 AM • permalink

  95. This here’s the wattle
    It’s the symbol of our land,
    You can stick it in a bottle
    You can hold it in your hand.
    Coo-ee, suck tinnies.

    Happy Australia Day

    I think it’s been acknowledged in another thread. My mum got an ESM. Another person I know was the recipient of an OAM (much deserved).

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 26 at 02:49 AM • permalink

  96. #78

    Henchman Paco:

    the cloth came from the last bolt of wool in existence derived from a now-extinct variety of sheep that lived on Easter Island

    No, no, NO!

    They don’t become extinct for another 45 minutes. We are just getting the VRWC (Australian Chapter) BBQ spits set up for them now.

    I’m a little worried by the glint in the eye of probable henchman selectee Crittenden as he sharpens up that axe, soon-to-be-extinct Easter Island sheep for the beheading of, though.
    And the skinning knife.
    And the disjointing knife…..

    ... y’know, it takes a LOT of really sharp cutlery to prepare a sheep for the spit, doesn’t it?

    Oh well, at least he’s enjoying himself.

    Better get a junior minion to get him another beer.

    Gotta go, got 4 moonbats to chain up to the treadmill to keep the spits turning. Got a cat-of-nine-tails here somewhere…..

    MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 01 26 at 02:56 AM • permalink

  97. Ain’t capitalism wonderful…

    Posted by Paul on 2007 01 26 at 03:29 AM • permalink

  98. O/T—Happy Australia Day! I was kindly invited by your great embassy in Seoul to your annual piss up last night at the Hyatt and it was a blast! Too bad they ran out of VB at 9:30.

    Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2007 01 26 at 03:33 AM • permalink

  99. #98 Tommy

    Too bad they ran out of VB at 9:30.

    A glaring oversight, heads will roll, I’m sure.

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 26 at 03:37 AM • permalink

  100. Woohoo, I thought it was windy, Toto.

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 26 at 03:42 AM • permalink

  101. Please dont swear -
    Everytime you swear a malnourished third world baby dies.

    Posted by Squiffy on 2007 01 26 at 03:47 AM • permalink

  102. A rare glimpse of education at Sophia College (well not really, but this happens to be the first thing that came to mind when I read this…  It takes a couple of minutes to get to the relevant part.)

    Posted by Vexorg on 2007 01 26 at 03:51 AM • permalink

  103. #99 Kae

    In their defense, the invitation did say 6 to 9 p.m. and they did have plenty of vino, but the majority of attendees were proper beer swillers, as one might expect.

    Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2007 01 26 at 03:56 AM • permalink

  104. Two arms, two legs, two swollen glands
    Alone upon this rock I stands
    A can of Emu in me hand
    A symbol of me native land
    Orstralia
    Amen
    Suck piss

    You know, I haven’t thought of that for some 30 years—thanks for bringing it back to me.

    Happy Australia Day!

    On another note; it’s 41 frigging degrees here right now—at 5.00 pm. Forecast is for hotter weather tomorrow!

    It was on a day not dissimilar to this that my father (aged 12 months) and my grandparents arrived from the UK by ship. They had to get to Mundijong, to my uncle’s dairy farm. They did it by train and horse and cart. From England in winter to a flat, dry, dusty, dirty, fly-ridden, BROWN land, and a homebuilt house with hessian walls, no electricity and only tank water. They were so much “new chums” that they took a baby crocodile they’d found into Perth Museum—a full day trip—to be told it was a blue-tongue lizard, and very common.

    To her dying day, my Nanna insisted Australia, even in the middle of winter, was always brown, and never green.

    Sadly, their much dreamed-of and saved-for trip “home” was a dreadful disappointment. They left in 1928 and went back in 1964—the England they knew was long gone, and although we didn’t know it, Grandad was dying.

    Nanna, all 4 foot 10 inches of her, outlived my Grandad by some 34 years, and missed him every day. She was 6 months short of her hundredth birthday when she died.

    Posted by BIWOZ on 2007 01 26 at 04:13 AM • permalink

  105. Thanks for sharing that, BIWOZ.

    Glad I could bring back some memories for you.

    The same crowd I heard that ditty from used to always say:

    I’d rather have a bottle in front of me
    than a frontal lobotomy.

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 26 at 04:19 AM • permalink

  106. O/T - Apposite quote from Keith Windschuttle in today’s The Australian about one of this idiots we like to kick about here:

    It is true that in the ‘60s some of the best and the brightest products of our universities left for Britain and the US…

    In other cases, though, especially such would-be celebrities and self-promoters as Germaine Greer and Robert Hughes (who found Australia too small a stage to display their egos), we were lucky to be rid of them.

    Unfortunately Greer keeps turning up and annoying the cripes out of us. Why can’t she just stay away?

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 01 26 at 04:27 AM • permalink

  107. ot - while we’re not talking glargal wormenizerating, hobart is expecting snow

    Posted by KK on 2007 01 26 at 04:40 AM • permalink

  108. O/T:
      KRuddy beware

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 26 at 05:23 AM • permalink

  109. #108

    LOL

    Posted by kae on 2007 01 26 at 05:35 AM • permalink

  110. O/T:
    No transcript available, but on ABC Radio National News this morning Hilali, on the subject of Australia Day, was quoted, & backed-up by soundbites in English, saying that his previous insults about convicts were a joke & that Howard had no sense-of-humour and that Hilali made 30? jokes a day; he wouldn’t run against Iemma but may put up to 3 candidates in the State election.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 26 at 05:49 AM • permalink

  111. ‘Reg Smith’

    Was his name switched at birth?

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2007 01 26 at 06:10 AM • permalink

  112. #66 crittenden -

    Speaking of which, at your house, you got the water to go down the toilet the wron way yet?

    The “wron way” is for the damn toilet water to go down period.  It’s amazing how having three children, a wife, and a live-in mother-in-law (pieces of shrapnel be upon her) has made me a part time plumber.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 26 at 06:53 AM • permalink

  113. Y’all seem to forget, and shouldn’t, that She Who Must Be Obeyed stomps on trolls and other vermin here.  She doesn’t get to at Bolt’s blog.

    I’m surprised y’all forgot, what with her appropriated spear and all.

    Posted by ushie on 2007 01 26 at 06:59 AM • permalink

  114. I suspect this Sophia College might be an elaborate pisstake. One of the teachers - “teaching colour in therapy” is wearing all black.

    Do I detect the subtlest display of irony?

    And the ageing hippy teach sand therapy is almost a caricature that Habib would come up with.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 26 at 07:24 AM • permalink

  115. #113, she’d have an absolute blast troll kicking over at Bolt’s blog. Though they’re kind of self destructive over there.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 26 at 07:48 AM • permalink

  116. OT I have been dutifully clicking on the PETA ad every now and again to run up a few micro cents for Mr Blair, and accidently actually had a look at the page this time.  The sheep in the pictures are not merinos.
    The sheep that are highlighted in the banner at the top of the page are suffolk - black faced sheep.

    Suffolks are not mulesed, as they do not have the folds of skin around the backside.  They are meat sheep, and their wool is the thick, itchy rubbish found in scottish sweaters/kilts etc.

    The sheep pictured on the side look like either dorset or more likely southdowns.  Again meat sheep, and again not mulesed.  Their wool typically finds its way into carpet (at best) or more likely blankets.  Dorsets are probably the best tasting.

    Posted by entropy on 2007 01 26 at 08:02 AM • permalink

  117. OT, but while we’re all warm and fuzzy and tilty, perhaps I can direct your attention over to the Hizb ut Tahrir site. Seems they’ve got a petition happening, to protest about their khilafah conference being cancelled.

    Last I checked, they only had about 170 signatures.

    I won’t suggest flashmobbing them, but if anyone wants to help them get the numbers up on their petition I reckon that would be a very multicultural thing to do.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 26 at 08:08 AM • permalink

  118. go sign that petition just for the halibut

    Posted by KK on 2007 01 26 at 09:31 AM • permalink

  119. it has comments ;)

    Posted by KK on 2007 01 26 at 09:32 AM • permalink

  120. #117 Nilknarf Arbed. Also notice on the page, right hand side an advertisement for John D’Arcy, lawyer for anything to do with animals.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 26 at 09:39 AM • permalink

  121. # 117 Nilk -  they seem to have some sot of rejection mechanism for rejecting comments containing the wods “beer” and “pork:

    Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 01 26 at 10:19 AM • permalink

  122. My ex mother-in-law lived with us all through the marriage, 11 years of it.  My condolences. Her spoiling him rotten (even to the point where she was out cutting the grass on a Richmond July day because “he was feeling despondent;” he was 50, she was 75) was a great part of why I finally left.

    But I’d rather suck up to the one who has the Power to Banish™.  And your Zulu spear. 

    She’s probably has her minions searching for the keys to the Tardis as we speak. And maybe the mead. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 01 26 at 11:12 AM • permalink

  123. She, not she’s.  Sheesh. 

    Elizabeth
    Imperial Keeper

    Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 01 26 at 11:45 AM • permalink

  124. #120 BJM, love it. didn’t see the John Darcy ad, although there is now one up for a mob called ‘digital proceedings’ who record conferences.

    Guess they won’t be needing those services now.

    Bummer aout the word “pork”. The word kill is acceptable, though. I wonder why that is?

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 01 26 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  125. So, a year now, already, I been touting for the Kurds.

    One word from Crittenden and youse are all over ‘em like white on rice.

    What’s it like, Jules, to have such power?

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 01 26 at 08:58 PM • permalink

  126. #124 Nilknarf Arbed. Animal Lawyer advertisment has now been removed from the site.

    Posted by BJM on 2007 01 27 at 01:20 AM • permalink

  127. MentalFloss,

    So that’s what you’ve been saying.  Sorry I lost my dictionary, I didn’t know.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 27 at 03:41 AM • permalink

  128. #66 crittenden.

    It’s Blair’s vibe. He’s sending out all this talented zany energy into the world and it floats like butterflies into this blog in the words of its commentators…

    Sorry if this comment is not as beautiful as it should be, I am sitting up instead of lying back and I don’t think vertical energy makes typing as beautiful as horizontal energy does…know what I mean?

    mmm, horizontal typing…

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 27 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  129. From my sister who lives in the area:

    Hmm well they probably run this college from the back of one of the petrol stations!  Close enough to Bunbury to commute, but cheaper.  No, not much there but very neat and tidy little town.  Anywhere down here can be alternative.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 01 28 at 07:14 AM • permalink

  130. #117. It allows the words “behead” and Jews”.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 28 at 08:06 AM • permalink

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