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THIS CRAZY RECKLESSNESS MUST STOP

Incoming Finance Minister Lindsay Tanner won’t be doing that sort of thing, oh no:

LINDSAY TANNER: … we certainly won’t blatantly ignore them like the previous government did, for example, announcing a $10 billion water program written on the back of a serviette yet after a long lunch without being adequately costed or assessed by Treasury or finance and without even being taken to Cabinet. We won’t do that sort of thing, I can assure you.

ALI MOORE: On the water program, will you keep it?

LINDSAY TANNER: Yes …

(Via Alex R., who recommends clicking for video)

Posted by Tim B. on 11/29/2007 at 08:43 PM
  1. “after a long lunch”
    After a long lunch, with wine?

    Posted by m on 2007 11 29 at 08:51 PM • permalink

  2. Semi-OT but heard last night:

    A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and remarks on all the clocks he can see - billions and billions of them.

    St Peter explains that every person has a clock and it ticks one second every time they tell a lie.

    “See Mother Theresa’s?” asks Peter. “It’s never moved and Abraham Lincoln’s only moved two seconds - he only lied twice in his life.”

    The man was impressed and had a question.

    “Is Kevin Rudd’s clock here?”

    St Peter replied: “Oh no, it’s in Jesus’ office - He’s using it for a ceiling fan.”

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 11 29 at 09:00 PM • permalink

  3. No serviettes for us - we’ll use notebooks.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 11 29 at 09:05 PM • permalink

  4. Look, this is just the beginning of the economic conservatism that Kev told us he was all about.

    I was sceptical at first, but had a few beers last night with a mate of mine who is a plumber and my scepticism has been dampened somewhat.

    Late on Saturday night he got an emergency call out. He turned up at the address and was met at the gate by none other than a somewhat sheepish looking Prime Minister Elect.

    Apparently, after the hoo har had died down and the Rudd’s had fitted the kiddies up with a few Red M’s and sent them off to a rave, the Rudds ripped fair into the piss.

    This all went very well until, during a bit of bathroom action, Therese slipped on the wet floor and well, somehow ended up doing the splits and well, got stuck to the floor. Try as he might, Kev couldn’t break the suction and release her.

    So he called me mate the plumber. He and Kev had another go at freeing her, but did no good.

    Me mate says, well Kev, we’ll just have to smash the tiles on the bathroom floor, that’ll get her unstuck, I’ll just go and get a hammer. When he came back from the ute with the hammer, he walks in and finds Kev with his tongue in Therese’s ear and going the grope and wot not.

    Me mate is pretty disturbed by this and says, hey Kev, can you hold off on that till I get her unstuck and get out of here, if you wouldn’t mind..

    No worries says Kev, I just thought that if I could create a bit of moisture, we might be able to slide her out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, cause if we’ve gotta smash tiles, the ones in the kitchen are heaps cheaper to replace…

    Posted by Pickles on 2007 11 29 at 09:24 PM • permalink

  5. ... snail trails??

    Posted by Gotlieb on 2007 11 29 at 09:37 PM • permalink

  6. #4 Pickles you bastard! You owe me a new keyboard & a dry pair of reggies.

    Posted by Gibbo on 2007 11 29 at 09:40 PM • permalink

  7. Lindsay Tanner, minister for deregulation.  Overnight - and I mean literally overnight- he has redefined “deregulation.”

    Tanner: Kevin Rudd said over the past few months he was going to have a senior Cabinet minister specifically responsible for deregulation for tackling the overburden of red tape for business.

    Deregulation is now “tackling the overburden of red tape.”
    Look, that’s a good thing to do, don’t get me wrong. In fact he seems committed to it, and I hope he does a great job at it. But it isn’t deregulation.

    similarly, “economic conservatism” now means “having a balanced budget,” according to Rudd.

    Posted by daddy dave on 2007 11 29 at 09:43 PM • permalink

  8. I hate to say, I really hate to say it..but he impressed me.

    Posted by allan on 2007 11 29 at 09:54 PM • permalink

  9. Just like the ‘stonehenge’ scene out of Spinal Tap.

    Posted by Nic on 2007 11 29 at 10:01 PM • permalink

  10. It’s been said before, but the next three years are going to be the height of comedy unless* Australia has a real need for leadership.

    *As pointed out by Infidel Tiger, citing events such as Bali.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  11. “...suction…”

    Oh dear. Someday I’ll be able to breathe again.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 11 29 at 10:25 PM • permalink

  12. #4 - Pickles, I’m forever indebted to alcohol for not been able to fully form the mental images of that story.

    Kev with his tongue in Therese’s ear and going the grope and wot not.

    He was just a little peckish.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 10:30 PM • permalink

  13. #2 Nora: Outstanding!

    O/T: Bad news and good news for that British teacher in Sudan. Bad news: she has to go to jail for 15 days. Good news: no lashes, and she’s being deported from Sudan.  Be sure and click on the last link in the story for yet another example of NYT hypocrisy.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 29 at 10:31 PM • permalink

  14. #13: Unfortunately, the fate of the Teddy Bears is unknown.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 29 at 10:38 PM • permalink

  15. #14 - Unfortunately, the fate of the Teddy Bears is unknown

    I know!

    He’s on eBay - funds raise go to charity

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 11 29 at 10:42 PM • permalink

  16. #13 On Paco’s OT, Radio National this morning were rounding up their headlines, and on the subject of the Mohammed-teddy bear, they tut-tutted, but also quoted some Imam saying “What would happen to a Sudanese teacher in a Christian country who named a teddy bear Jesus?”.  Incredibly, they made thoughtful humming noises over this, as if to say ‘Yes, well, he has a point’.  Finally, one of them said, laughing, ‘Well, at least she wouldn’t go to prison’.  Indeed, though any parent who dared to complain about the hypothetical Sudanese teacher and her Jesus teddy-bear would probably find themselves on a ‘hate-speech’ charge.

    Posted by cuckoo on 2007 11 29 at 10:42 PM • permalink

  17. #15 Oh Nora!!!

    that is absolutely hysterical!!!!LMAO :)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 11 29 at 10:45 PM • permalink

  18. Paco

    It was Bearheaded.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 29 at 10:48 PM • permalink

  19. #16 Cuckoo: The tut-tutters are quite right. Obviously, if a roomful of school kids in the U.S. named their Teddy Bears after Jesus, the teacher would be hauled before the Inquisitor General in the regularly-scheduled weekly auto de fe, burned at the stake, and the ashes would be stuffed into a pig’s bladder and mailed to the king of Saudi Arabia.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 29 at 10:54 PM • permalink

  20. The dog ate my homework. The teacher named the teddy bear Mohammad.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 29 at 10:57 PM • permalink

  21. #16.
        Yes, they a point though.

    The artist behind “Piss Christ”
    suffered horrendous torture*.

    *Although not as much as viewers
    of the “artwork”.

    Posted by dver on 2007 11 29 at 10:58 PM • permalink

  22. Come off it Tanner.You won an election without costing a policy.

    I may be a mushroom but don’t start feeding me shit before you have even warmed up your Ministerial throne

    Posted by watty on 2007 11 29 at 11:02 PM • permalink

  23. Come off it Tanner.You won an election without costing a policy.

    Even better, the ALP won an election without actually having policies of their own. That’s the bitter irony.

    Posted by CB on 2007 11 29 at 11:15 PM • permalink

  24. The return of Red tape Kev

    Posted by dver on 2007 11 29 at 11:16 PM • permalink

  25. Can anyone afford my legal bills?

    I met up with someone I last saw in grade five, and apparently then, I said that my next toy would be named Mohammed.

    Can someone please save me money?!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 29 at 11:21 PM • permalink

  26. Good thing this didn’t happen in the arctic region. The polar bears would have rioted.

    Posted by paco on 2007 11 29 at 11:31 PM • permalink

  27. #2 thanks for the friday arvo laugh!.

    Posted by darrinhV2 on 2007 11 29 at 11:51 PM • permalink

  28. #14 It has been punished in the traditional humane islamic fashion.

    Posted by Burbank on 2007 11 30 at 12:12 AM • permalink

  29. Sudanese or not, I just damn well wish Muslims would stop calling them “Teddy Bears” as apparently Theodore Roosevelt hated that nickname…

    Also,

    Theodore Roosevelt > Mohammed

    Posted by Quentin George on 2007 11 30 at 12:55 AM • permalink

  30. Quentin, you are absolutely butt farked, now!  The Jihadis will have your foreskin for garters.

    Posted by Razor on 2007 11 30 at 01:18 AM • permalink

  31. #29 Quentin, (to shamelessly pinch a recent gag from the great Mark Steyn): The amount of hate mail you are about to receive may interfere with your ability to source adequate offshore Viagra supplies.

    Posted by Big Jim on 2007 11 30 at 01:29 AM • permalink

  32. Theodore Roosevelt

    Had the man been with us these past 25-30 years and still held sway (and with TR) he held sway, like it or not.

    I would believe that trouble with filthy Islamists, would have been dealt with in a devastating manner.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 30 at 01:49 AM • permalink

  33. Tim

    At last the truth comes to the fore.  I think a certain Mr Big Hawk is actually Lindsay Tanner…

    Posted by murph on 2007 11 30 at 06:24 AM • permalink

  34. Howard has just been named as the “problem” with the Water Plan. Back then, the me-too movement used a State Premier as a spoiler for various plans which might otherwise have earned the Howard Govt. some points with the public. Bracks was the spoiler for the Murray-Darling water plan. Most ok’d it. Carpenter had to be the spoiler for the Intervention in aboriginal chaos, as Martin was damaged goods - now retired, hurt.

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 30 at 07:37 AM • permalink

  35. Pickles #4

    RFLMAO *** GASP *** RFLMAO

    Posted by Mambo Bananapatch on 2007 11 30 at 12:23 PM • permalink

  36. Yes, but future water programs will be written on RECYCLABLE napkins.

    Posted by SeanP on 2007 11 30 at 09:48 PM • permalink

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