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“THEY WILL JUST BE SLAPPED”

Derek Wright, ed-in-chief of the student publication at Northern Illinois University, explains his decision to publish those motoons of mass destruction:

Many American newspapers have yet to run these images, and we feel it is unfair to send our readers on a chase through Google to find the cause of such a newsworthy event ... We felt it was not right to dedicate such a large space of news without providing the very images which created the story.

Makes sense. Just as well for Derek, though, that he isn’t editing a magazine in Jakarta:

The editor of a weekly magazine is being investigated for the crime of contempt against religion after publishing controversial drawings of the Prophet Mohammed that have inflamed radical reactions across the Muslim world, police said on Monday.

From the same report, news that elite anti-Dane slap gangs are gathering in East Java:

Koran Tempo newspaper reported that around 189 people had signed up in Surabaya, East Java, to track down Danish nationals to ”admonish” and “slap” them over the caricatures, which are seen as offensive by many Muslims because they do not approve of depictions of the religion’s founder.

“Our volunteers will admonish Danes found on the field, and if they cannot accept that, then they will just be slapped,” the paper quoted the coordinator of the protest, Yusuf Muhajir, as saying.

Attention, Danes: stay away from the field. Do not be found on the field.

UPDATE. A Syrian journalist faces peaceful dialogue charges:

Following violent protests last week in the capital, Damascus, against negative depictions of the prophet Mohamed in a Danish newspaper, charges have been filed against a journalist who called for peaceful dialogue to settle the issue.

Following his arrest on 7 February, journalist Adel Mahfouz has been charged with insulting public religious sentiment, an offence under Syrian criminal law. He could face up to three years in prison if found guilty.

UPDATE II. Sheikh Yousef Al-Qaradhawi refutes a widely-held view:

We are not a nation of jackasses. We are not jackasses for riding, but lions that roar. We are lions that zealously protect their dens, and avenge affronts to their sanctities. We are not a nation of jackasses. We are a nation that should rage for the sake of Allah, His Prophet, and His book. We are the nation of Muhammad, and we must never accept the degradation of our religion.

Jackass.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/13/2006 at 09:27 AM
  1. I see Tim got quite a mention on ABC’s Mediawatch tonight.  Not sure if he tried to also make a point in his response to them about the Muslim’s routine printing of highly offensive cartoon material on a daily basis, but if so, they definitely chose to leave that hot potato well enough alone…

    But i loved how they had the moral equivalency turned up full bore by equating the extremists torching embassies and threatening free speech, with the idealogues in the West who continue publishing these cartoons near the end of the segment….

    i mean talk about usual ABC lefty crap….  :o)

    and with all the stuff thats gone on over the break, did they really have to spend the first 5 minutes on some moronic story about a message in a bottle makings it way from the UK to Australia, and having to get some pointdexter from CSIRO or somewhere to tell them if it was likely or not???

    I mean lets get our priorities straight perhaps???

    Posted by casanova on 2006 02 13 at 09:44 AM • permalink

  2. charges have been filed against a journalist who called for peaceful dialogue to settle the issue.

    Ah yes, ‘the religion of peace’. Mr. Trad?

    Posted by Nic on 2006 02 13 at 09:44 AM • permalink

  3. Wah ha ha ha…what a classic. These people are absolutely raving insane. I think I’ll “admonish” and “slap” every Muslim I see in the street from now on until all this cartoon crap blows over, just for belonging to the same religion as the lunatics burning embassies. And if I happen upon Michael Leunig while I’m out and about, I’ll skip the “admonish” and just go straight to the “slap”. :-D

    Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 02 13 at 09:48 AM • permalink

  4. And yor right Snuff, the more u hear about these people, the less sure u can be that they aren’t all certifiable….  the majority seem to be a total pack of fools! imagine if u were a semi normal person living in these countires and having to listen to this sort of shite day in/day out…

    PS any mussie that slaps me will get it back with interest….

    Posted by casanova on 2006 02 13 at 10:01 AM • permalink

  5. Yeah, gotta hand it to MediaWatch. And what were they thinking with the opening story? Good to see them coming to grips with the hard-hitting issues for a change. And I’ll need to check, but did they misrepresent how the whole cartoon business came about? Their take on how it originated was, “They were after all commissioned by the paper to test the limits of Islamic tolerance.” Not so, I thought…my understanding was that they were published in response to a children’s author who couldn’t get anyone to illustrate her book on Islam because they were worried that some wayward Islamic would go all “Theo Van Gogh” on their ass? So the paper challenged artists to overcome self-censorship by drawing the now infamous cartoons. Is this correct? Could somebody clarify, please?

    Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 02 13 at 10:04 AM • permalink

  6. Your interpretation sounds about right to me Snuff and MW’s wrong, it could only be construed as “test[ing] the limits of Islamic tolerance” in terms of i thought they were trying to prove to cartoonists that they wouldn’t have death threats/attempts made against them…

    i guess we found out the hard way that the fruitcakes of the RoP don’t have much tolerance or respect for the views of others….

    in what u would maybe hope would be a rational, unbias coverage of the incident, i liked two sentences near the start of the piece on the cartoons… 

    “The paper has offered a feeble apology for its decision to commission and publish the cartoons. The reason is obvious.”

    and

    “Many Muslims believe any image of Mohammed is blasphemous and these cartoons were particularly provocative. “

    i mean what tripe, they were about as innocuous a bunch of cartoons as you’d ever want to see, unless this new clown herself got those 3 fake cartoons mixed up with the original 12???  that was another issue that was also ignored????

    Posted by casanova on 2006 02 13 at 10:12 AM • permalink

  7. We are not a nation of jackasses.

    I feel that he is unfamiliar with the full performance of the word in English.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 02 13 at 10:13 AM • permalink

  8. I think the sheik was lion.. Bwahahaha.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 02 13 at 10:14 AM • permalink

  9. A good point, Casanova; I missed that. They completely left out the Danish Imams’ tour of the Middle East with both the real cartoons and the faked (and much more inflammatory) images. If anyone is to blame, it is those Imams. and they haven’t even offered a “feeble” apology. Dang, I used to enjoy MediaWatch once…

    Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 02 13 at 10:17 AM • permalink

  10. The newspaper published the cartoons when a Danish author complained that he could find no-one to illustrate his book about Muhammad. Jyllands-Posten wondered whether there were more cases of self-censorship regarding Islam in Denmark and asked twelve illustrators to draw the prophet for them

    Posted by 13times on 2006 02 13 at 10:21 AM • permalink

  11. The trouble is M.W. never GET the message in the bottle..I for one dream of jeannie..
    Dana does it again..in an interview with the press on ru486 she states her fear that Aussies are bein bred out and the Muslims will take over Australia in 50 years time..
    Labor clone calls her comments “hurtful”...
    Hey Dana right on…you’re speakin truth.

    Posted by crash on 2006 02 13 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  12. I think a slap to the face merits a knee to the balls.  Anyone with me on this?

    Posted by ushie on 2006 02 13 at 10:39 AM • permalink

  13. ``We are lions that zealously protect their dens, and avenge affronts to their sanctities.’‘

    Yes, by murdering your own female cubs who’ve been wounded by predators of your own species.  We already knew that, Sheik Yusef.  Do you seriously expect us to admire you for it?

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2006 02 13 at 10:42 AM • permalink

  14. #12, I’m thinking that the squirrel grip might be more appropriate. Once in the grip, the slapping can commence in earnest. :-D

    Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 02 13 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  15. Considering all the braying they do, I think “jackasses of Islam” is an apt description.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 02 13 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  16. the thought had crossed my mind of also putting that in when i said they’d be getting a slap back with interest Ushie…

    As Bill Lawrie/Billy Birmingham famously said, “They’d be wearing their balls for earrings!!”  :o)

    Posted by casanova on 2006 02 13 at 10:54 AM • permalink

  17. Crikey accuses ABC’s Mike Brissenden of peddling misogynist nonsense..

    Posted by crash on 2006 02 13 at 10:55 AM • permalink

  18. A one-word pantsing.

    Magnificent.

    Posted by Rittenhouse on 2006 02 13 at 11:18 AM • permalink

  19. “We are the nation of Muhammad, and we must never accept the degradation of our religion”

    Why, no, of course not;  having accepted the degradation of your women and and your education system, I suppose that would be the last straw wouldn’t it?

    “We are not a nation of jackasses”, he brayed.

    Posted by paco on 2006 02 13 at 11:23 AM • permalink

  20. Slap Squad: Danish kafir, you have insulted out great religion.

    DK: Please slap me!

    Slap Squad: No, we admonish you on this field.

    DK: A little whuppin’ for the bigoted western provocateur - moi.

    Slap Squad:  No, we reprove you, which is another way to say ‘admonish’.

    DK: Then saw my head off for Al-Jazeera and show Bush what’s what, right?

    Slap Squad: Maybe a little bit.

    Posted by Inurbanus on 2006 02 13 at 11:27 AM • permalink

  21. I don’t know why, but I have this image of white-haired Danish tourists being hectored by crowds of Javanese midgets.  The sheer arrogance and stupidity of these people just astounds me.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 02 13 at 11:29 AM • permalink

  22. I once saw something on tv about Pakistan, where i think their scientific community, or one of their top scientists, was worried becoz what passed for education in their “schools” or places of higher education, mainly consisted of young students sitting around chanting and learning scriptures and passages by rote…  this guy feared for the future for Pakistan in terms of its creativity and skills etc…

    if this is the level of most of them, uneducated fanatics that are often as dumb as posts, it would be unwise to underestimated either their level of stupidty or lack of maturity, which obviously allows them to be led around by the nose by a few firebrand clerics, and roused into a mob foaming at the mouth on command….

    and even a raving mob of midgets can do some damage!!!  :o)

    Posted by casanova on 2006 02 13 at 11:41 AM • permalink

  23. Ah, yes, the well-known “slapping fields” of East Java.

    Posted by paco on 2006 02 13 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  24. Oh, Paco, here I sit, helplessly laughing, even after having looked up “Squirrel grip.”

    Posted by ushie on 2006 02 13 at 12:04 PM • permalink

  25. So, collective guilt, eh? Can we now “admonish” (or slap) all Arabs or all Muslims about crashing planes into skyscrapers?

    Next thing you know, Danes in Dar al Islam will have to where armbands. Riyadh, Cairo, Paris…

    Posted by bobpence on 2006 02 13 at 12:22 PM • permalink

  26. Derek, apparently Cindy Crawford isn’t the only beauty to hail from DeKalb. Good job.

    Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2006 02 13 at 12:22 PM • permalink

  27. We are lions that zealously protect their dens

    Zealously and artistically

    Posted by danS on 2006 02 13 at 12:24 PM • permalink

  28. We are a nation that should rage for the sake of Allah, His Prophet, and His book. We are the nation of Muhammad

    I love listening to jackasses who believe a man who used a book to control the arabs, who feigned devine revelation in order to murder his enemies and consolidate his political power, who did not live to the rules he ascribed for everyone else, is worth following. I am waiting for the moderate muslims to stand up and bitch slap the extremists amongst them, before the West wakes up and decides to do it for them. The beauty of the cartoons is that now the mainstream is starting to see that Islam and religion of peace do not go together, with all deference to our current US president.

    Posted by JEM on 2006 02 13 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  29. Actually I don’t think they see it as revelation but the direct unmistakeable word of allah.

    Posted by JEM on 2006 02 13 at 12:44 PM • permalink

  30. #27: This short flick simply cannot be shown too often. Does anybody know the genuine background of this major-league, Imam-aniac!, mullah flip-out?

    Posted by paco on 2006 02 13 at 12:56 PM • permalink

  31. paco, let’s call him Mullah Ohmy Mouthy al-Slappy.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 02 13 at 02:46 PM • permalink

  32. RebeccaH: Out of respect, we should use his full name and title: Mullah Ohmy Mouthy al-Slappy ibn Rabid, SwordCheese Knife of Allah.

    I think I know what happened; some joker placed a few killer bees in the draft of his speech.

    Posted by paco on 2006 02 13 at 03:09 PM • permalink

  33. Bush always says Islam is a religion of peace, because somebody has to, and him in particular.

    It means : ``Move this way.’‘

    It counts on a lot of Muslims in fact being so inclined.

    It doesn’t mean everybody else has to say it, however.

    Those accustomed to saying what they think, in particular, continue to say what they think.

    You get public debate, that way.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 02 13 at 04:09 PM • permalink

  34. I’m having a predicament:  SO I know I’m supposed to buy Danish, but when I went to the beer store, there was none.  So, I don’t get Irish, because the Irish president is fellating the Arabs now with all this “free-speech” BAD nonsense; English? I’m not sure…nothing from Oz but Foster’s…nope, no American, even though I occasionally make an exception for Anchor Steam, even though it’s from The Queenship of Moonbattia, and there’s no Frog beer, and besides, I’m not used to buying Frog anything for the past since-9/11 years. 

    Italian biero?  I think I support the Italians.  We do, don’t we?  And the Krauts, they published, right?  So I buy Italian and Something that Looks Kraut, and the Pakistanian fellow at the counter says, “The Italians and the Germans don’t get along so well, hope they don’t fight in the bag,” and I chuckle, what a strange new world this is, and then I go to the grocery store, and at least I can deal with the cheeses…

    I get home, put on my glasses, and…the German beer is made in Cincinnati.  Do we like Cincinnati?

    Posted by ushie on 2006 02 13 at 04:15 PM • permalink

  35. 334: Ushie, what about those Danish sugar cookies?

    Cincinnati has not established the Caliphate yet, so I’d say German beer from Cincinnati is probably ok.

    Posted by paco on 2006 02 13 at 04:21 PM • permalink

  36. #27: Self-slappers? But why?

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 02 13 at 04:48 PM • permalink

  37. Perhaps we could get the Germans to teach us the art of the slap dance thing they do.

    Purely in self defence of course - we don’t want any Dick Cheney type accidents.

    Could this be the future of our armed forces?

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2006 02 13 at 04:49 PM • permalink

  38. Paco, I do like those suger cookies, but the sugar rush makes me behave like a five-year-old…

    Posted by ushie on 2006 02 13 at 05:04 PM • permalink

  39. Ushie 12 -

    “I think a slap to the face merits a knee to the balls.  Anyone with me on this?”

    I’m down with that shizznit, although I’d likely pursue a more liberalish western response: i.e Pay a good Jewish lawyer - at least a better one than their “Jewish lawyer” - to slap the slapper/s silly [with] a civil suit through which I’d secure ownership of a thriving convenience store/gas station/neigborhood mosque…Or at least whatever assets as can be scooped up by the tentacular arms of Western common law.

    The sheer speculative joy I derive through contemplating ownership of a recently active mosque is sweeter than a plateful of dates.

    Currently I’m envisioning a charity event for the IDF (Hebrew Hammer-PA-Looza?) wherein charitable folk could pay for ten/twenty/thirty minutes of sledgehammer time to work over pig-blood-red caricatures of mohammed spraypainted on the tiled walls of my newly defunct mosque…There could also be all manner of concessions to raise funds for various victims of allah’s ‘peaceful’ minions. There’d be Koran bobbing, Pin the Tale on the Jackass, RPG galleries, and of course my personal favorite, Imam-dunking - all sponsored by Carlsberg beer and The American Bacon Fat Council.

    Ahhhh…The wonderful power of a free imagination.

    Posted by monkeyfan on 2006 02 13 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  40. Slapping?  Slapping?

    Remember that thread discussing ‘indescribable peril?’  Nevermind knee.  You should wish for the knee.

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 02 13 at 06:46 PM • permalink

  41. Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot. Oh, she is a naughty person and she must pay the penalty, and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the Mohammed-shaped beacon: you must tie her down on a bed and slap her.

    (A slapping! A slapping!)

    Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 02 13 at 06:59 PM • permalink

  42. #34, ushie.  Cincinnati is a hotbed of sin and corruption.  So go ahead.  Enjoy.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 02 13 at 07:01 PM • permalink

  43. Confiscating assets? I don’t think you can confiscate their government benefits/welfare.

    Posted by kae on 2006 02 13 at 08:06 PM • permalink

  44. Northern Illinois is my grad school.  Go, Star!!  On the other hand, one year when I was their Kos was the editor.  Go figure.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 02 13 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  45. Meanwhile, The Australian thoughtfully republished Piss Chriist in case we had forgotten its graphic depiction. 
    Did anyone notice?

    Posted by Barrie on 2006 02 13 at 08:48 PM • permalink

  46. #34 I get home, put on my glasses, and…the German beer is made in Cincinnati.  Do we like Cincinnati?—ushie

    #42 Cincinnati is a hotbed of sin and corruption. —RebeccaH

    What the ...?  CINCINNATI!  Hotbed of sin and corruption? 

    Ok, maybe I haven’t mentioned this here.  But if you should know one thing about the United States of America, it’s this:

    Cincinnati elected George Bush as President. 

    We did it.  Not Cleveland, the Mistake on the Lake.  Not Dayton, the little Detroit of Ohio, god help us all.  Not Findlay, home of Ben Roethesberger, the Ohioan who refused to play football for Ohio State, the little bitch, and recently led the Pittsburgh Stoolers to win the Super Bowl, the traitorous little shit.  Not Columbus, not Akron, not even Clark County (although yes, they did vote mostly for George Bush, notwithstanding The Guardian’s grand design to persuade a bunch of Red Man chewing farmers).

    And for that matter, not Texas, not Florida, not Sydney, not Melbourne, not London, not Toronto. 

    Cincinnati.  We did that.

    (cue “Cincinnati, Queen City of Our Fair Land”—if can’t find that, “WKRP in Cincinnati” will do)

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 02 13 at 09:22 PM • permalink

  47. Not Calgary, not Glasgow, not Phoenix, not Santa Fe, not Myrtle Beach, not Savannah, not Baghdad, not Byron Beach, not Canberra.

    Posted by wronwright on 2006 02 13 at 09:25 PM • permalink

  48. We’re not coming from Texas, or from Florida, or from Pennsylvania, or from Minnesota, but we’re coming from Cincinnati, Ohio, YEARRGHH!!!

    Posted by PW on 2006 02 13 at 09:43 PM • permalink

  49. This plan of Iran’s to turn the tables via cartoons insulting the Jooos and their beliefs (especially that alleged “Holocaust”)—why, it could lead to global mayhem!  Pretty soon the whole worldwide Jooish conspiracy will be rising up in violent protest, demanding apologies left right and center, torching the embassies of Muslim nations, imposing a boycott of oil and, er… dates, and vowing to kill all Indonesians, or at the very least slap them hard.  As for Leunig, he’ll be in hiding, terrified of having his head hacked off. Popcorn!

    Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2006 02 13 at 11:53 PM • permalink

  50. wronwright, just hold your water there, son.  I meant sin and corruption in the best sense of those words.  Why, in Cincinnati, it’s been refined to high art.  It is for that reason alone I hold Cincinnati in the highest regard.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 02 13 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  51. Sounds to me like Wronwright has been making unauthorized use of the time machine again and got some more of that Sumerian mead.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 02 14 at 12:30 AM • permalink

  52. “We are not a nation of jackasses.”

    You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.

    Say, am I the only one to see a huge market for “Slap me, I’m Danish” tee shirts?

    Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 02 14 at 01:16 AM • permalink

  53. at least we dont have to share the beautiful Danish ham with these morons.

    Thank God (up to you whoever you pray to)!!!!!!!

    Posted by artful-dodger on 2006 02 14 at 05:46 AM • permalink

  54. Ushie -well vodka’s out from now on.

    Posted by crash on 2006 02 14 at 09:52 AM • permalink

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