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THEY REALLY LOVE THAT BIRD

Richard Kastelein, co-founder of the Atlantic Free Press - motto: “hard truths for hard times” - can’t cope with the relatively simple truth that an alleged plastic turkey wasn’t plastic. Faced with this turkular inconvenience, Kastelein blocks comments, bans IPs, and threatens to destroy hard drives.

The plastic turkey Must Not Be Questioned.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/03/2007 at 11:53 AM
  1. That’s certainly a rather fragile “reality” he’s set up there.

    What a twat.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 03 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  2. The last time I was caught questioning a turkey, I was told to sober up and serve it to the guests.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 02 03 at 12:47 PM • permalink

  3. I wonder how long it is until Plastic Turkey Denialists are jailed throuought the EUSSR.

    Posted by Rob Read on 2007 02 03 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  4. Check out THE WRITERS section of The Atlantic Free Press.  The biographies and the pictures are classic.  Some serious poseurs working for that publication.

    Posted by Polly on 2007 02 03 at 12:58 PM • permalink

  5. I was 404’d FORBIDDEN when I clicked on the Atlantic Free Press link.

    In how many ways are the behavior of these clowns the opposite of the name of their publication?

    Posted by ushie on 2007 02 03 at 01:02 PM • permalink

  6. Borrowed legitimacy and rhetorical fraud are a hallmark of people like Kastelein; adopt a name like “blah blah Free Press,” implying that all other press is unfree in some imagined totalitarian state (some of these people just never got over reading 1984 when they were sixteen - the doomed paranoid hero pose becomes their default persona for life), while hoping that just uttering the word “free” over and over will cover their own censoriousness and dream of vilifying every ideology that opposes their own. It’s not a lie, after all, if you believe it yourself, to the very core of your existence.

    Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 02 03 at 01:10 PM • permalink

  7. And BTW - if Kastelein is such a web geeenius (this last word has to be spoken in a Wile E. Coyote voice), then why doesn’t he know that all you have to do is hit refresh after getting the 404 FORBIDDEN message to see his fatuous little site. GEEEEEnius!!!

    Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 02 03 at 01:13 PM • permalink

  8. Ushie: they’ve blocked direct links from this site. You have to copy and paste the link in the address field of your browser to get to it.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 03 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  9. Or do what Rick said.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 03 at 01:24 PM • permalink

  10. Refreshing doesn’t work with Firefox though.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 03 at 01:25 PM • permalink

  11. Thanks, Andrea, but I decided I don’t really want to give them a hit.  Mizzible bastids.

    Posted by ushie on 2007 02 03 at 01:25 PM • permalink

  12. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-v5WOdqNGY

    Posted by kiwinews on 2007 02 03 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  13. #12: Haw! Great link, Kiwi News.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 01:55 PM • permalink

  14. #11: That’s ok, Ushie, I visited their site so you wouldn’t have to. Just another anti-American, anti-zionist, anti-Bush, poor-little-Muslims discount outlet of stale lefty propaganda. I’m not at all surprised that they’re banning commenters; the Left isn’t really interested in freedom of expression, or freedom, in general, for that matter. It’s all about power and forcing people to get with the program, whether the issue is the war against Islamofascism or global warming.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 02:11 PM • permalink

  15. #14, but Paco, I can’t get with the program, I don’t know how to goosestep!

    Posted by ushie on 2007 02 03 at 02:16 PM • permalink

  16. #15: Oh, it’s easy! Follow me, now, as I call out the cadence: Left . . . left . . . left, left, left . . .

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 02:30 PM • permalink

  17. Note that they’re one of Google’s “news sites”.  Most of their stories are opinion pieces, not factual reports, which appears to be against Google’s statements of who they pull from.

    They also had a story about “Race Hate Towards Muslims”. Can anyone explain how the hell “Muslim” is a race? Is “Catholic” a race?

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 03 at 02:51 PM • permalink

  18. "Catholic” is not a race because it’s Christian and Euro-centric.

    “Muslim” is a race because it’s not Christian and non-European.

    /Leftie talking points.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 03 at 03:12 PM • permalink

  19. #16 paco, all’s I can see is the biggest three-legged race in human history…

    Posted by ushie on 2007 02 03 at 03:56 PM • permalink

  20. #16 Paco, currently on my cd player is an absolute gem: Marine Corps Cadence Hip Hop Vol 1 of all things.

    It doesn’t have that cadence on it - I’ve been gypped!

    If Paco Jnr doesn’t have a copy of it already, I suggest you get him one post haste. It seriously kicks arse!

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 03 at 04:20 PM • permalink

  21. #20 Arbed: As a matter of fact, I believe he does have that CD (he picked up that one, plus a CD of the traditional DI cadences when he was in boot camp).

    Got a call from him yesterday, from Camp Geiger, where he’s currently in Infantry School. Said he spent the worst week of his life out in the field, cold and wet through to the skin. Said he’d rather have gone through 13 weeks of boot camp all over again. We sent him some hand and foot warmers. He has hopes of becoming an “assaultman”, which, I believe, is the guy who handles the rocket launcher.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 04:46 PM • permalink

  22. In re: my #21 - Here’s the formal definition of the assaultman’s function.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 04:58 PM • permalink

  23. You know what would have happened if Bush had actually served a turkey that wasn’t plastic, don’t you?  That’s right.  Turkular winter.  That’s why we have a turkular deterrence.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 03 at 05:06 PM • permalink

  24. Refreshing doesn’t work with Firefox though.

    Neither in IE6. Really, if there’s a web browser in which that trick works, it’s probably b0rken.

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 03 at 05:17 PM • permalink

  25. BTW, I take the site’s title to mean that the writers are used to doing hard time.

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 03 at 05:20 PM • permalink

  26. Oh it gets better…

    Dick:

    I am one.

    Don’t believe me?

    Don’t you know the Dutch are clever? You really should not be fucking around with your computer at work you know.

    Could get you in trouble.

    Let’s start here.

    Information related to ‘###.###.#.# - ###.###.###.###’
    ...
    ...
    ...

    inetnum:  ###.###.#.# - ###.###.###.###

    Murph:

    Wow man, you can do an IP lookup.  Really scary stuff that.  Next you’ll be pinging me.  Where will it end?

    As with any population, I don’t doubt that a significant proportion of Dutch are intelligent.  A cursory knowledge of the history the Dutch people tells me that there certainly are many intelligent Dutch people.

    You, self-evidently, do not fall into that category.

    My employers appreciate my work and are well aware that their employees spend break time surfing the internet and checking webmail.  They are reasonable people.  Reasonable enough to care less about my posting a link to a New York Times article, than a complaint by some foul-mouthed, fascist, self-regarding nobody who makes criminal threats to destroy their property.

    So.  Here’s the deal.  If you complain to my employers, I will, in turn, complain to the relevant cyber-crime authorities in the UK, Netherlands and US juridictions, as well as to Google.

    Conversation over.

    But Dicky didn’t get the message and continues puffing up his pigeon chest whilst simultaneously wussing out on hacking me.  Yes.  All the hallmarks of a leftist; a loud mouthed, angry little man, all bluster, no substance :

    Well,

    You’re right, I don’t know how to hack your computer. I only went to DNSStuff to trace your IP.

    Go ahead and tell Scotland Yard. Waahh… he… he… he… threatened me. I am sure they will laugh you out the door - especially since it was a Barclay’s work station - which I assure you is not hackable.

    Now… Let’s move onto your employers.

    I already have the London IT contact I need for [your employer]. And because you are such an ignorant fuck who doesn’t know how to keep his pie hole shut.

    I think I might very well send them a note.

    [Your employer] might be hearing from me. And I am add how you hang around Timblair.net half the day - as is evident by the multiple kudos to “Andy”. It won’t be hard for them to calculate how much money they have wasted on your lapdog “I will get Kudos from Timmy boy if I spread my cheeks for him” hunts for bullshit to put on his frontpage.

    I can also prove to [your employer] - the link to my site from Blair’s with has Kudo’s to you.

    The I will CC all your colleagues and let them know who is the idiot who abused and fucked up the the ‘lounge on the net’ time for everyone that your employers so gracefully give you.

    Go ahead and call the cops.

    You Dumb Fuck.

    And don’t bother emailing me back.

    de’ Kastelein.

    As if my employer would give a flying root.  CC my colleagues?  What?  All 10,000 of them?

    Honestly, what a childish dickhead.

    Posted by murph on 2007 02 03 at 05:33 PM • permalink

  27. Now, why does this guy remind me of “Ironed Mike” Hudson? I dunno.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 03 at 05:57 PM • permalink

  28. Geez, murph, just how small can Dick’s dick be?

    Posted by ushie on 2007 02 03 at 06:03 PM • permalink

  29. #27 Exactly what I was thinking.  They’re all the same.  Fucking wankers.

    #28 He wishes.

    Posted by murph on 2007 02 03 at 06:07 PM • permalink

  30. Proxied Link which will take you there, even from Tim Blair as a referring site.

    Really, this is too easy. I’m a Rocket Scientist, and this isn’t Rocket Science. What a Twit.

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2007 02 03 at 06:09 PM • permalink

  31. The Plastic Turkey has the same status as Climate Change - thou shalt not doubt!

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 02 03 at 06:10 PM • permalink

  32. It’s amazing how snippy these guys get when they’ve been caught being fakes.  The reaction brings back fond memories of the argument of a three-year-old.  Deny Deny Deny!  And yell about things not being fair, accompanied by the usual foot-stomping rolling-on-the-floor fingers-in-the-ears while screaming LA LA LA LA gig.  I’m surprised no one here is convinced by this argument.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 03 at 06:22 PM • permalink

  33. I don’t know about a proxy. Why not just post to his site? He is very diligent about banning IP addresses. Maybe if I keep renewing my IP, I can either keep him up banning me over and over, or get him to ban all traffic from BT.

    But then again, you know what they say about wrestling with a pig.

    Posted by moptop on 2007 02 03 at 06:38 PM • permalink

  34. Kastelein - will he achieve legendary status, alongside those other great propagandists: Goebbels Gobbles and Turkmenbashi?

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 02 03 at 06:43 PM • permalink

  35. I can also prove to [your employer] - the link to my site from Blair’s with has Kudo’s to you.

    And anyone following the link from here will get a 404 error. So what will it prove?

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 03 at 06:52 PM • permalink

  36. Yep.  He’s a berk alright.

    Regardless, I can’t believe he thinks that anybody’s employer would give a rats arse.  They’ve got more important things to do than help out some Dutch blowhard trying to settle a score.

    Similarly, the UK cops wouldn’t care about a complaint from me unless he actually did something.  But that’s not the point, because he backed off and panicked like the little poofter he is.

    Posted by murph on 2007 02 03 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  37. Oh, and hi Dicky.  I know you’re watching.  It’d be pretty unusual for a hate-filled, fascist, power-hungry psychopath like yourself not to.

    Posted by murph on 2007 02 03 at 07:16 PM • permalink

  38. paco wrote:

    He has hopes of becoming an “assaultman”, which, I believe, is the guy who handles the rocket launcher.

    Can he make an appropriate “muahahahahaha!” laugh while holding the launcher?

    That’s important, or should be. :-)

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 02 03 at 07:17 PM • permalink

  39. "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism (as long as you don’t dissent against me).”

    Posted by Jim Treacher on 2007 02 03 at 07:24 PM • permalink

  40. #38 Patrick: Oh, yeah, he’s got that part down.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 07:25 PM • permalink

  41. UK turkeys flu the coop

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 02 03 at 07:55 PM • permalink

  42. Blair news it’s gutsy and it’s good!!!
    Today’s Blair news is sponsored by Islamic Australian pensioners Insurance agency for the over 55 year old Islami Jihads here, and wait there’s more if you don’t blow yourself and others up here in Austrlia you’ll receive a futher 30% discount off your car insurance.

    Islamb Australienne Surf Life Saving Burqinni-female rescue Cronulla services.

    and Government funding, what else can we say! We have to make up pretend jobs for these Islamites.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 03 at 07:58 PM • permalink

  43. "You’re right, I don’t know how to hack your computer."

    Does that mean he’s not a “great webmaster” after all?

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 03 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  44. Muslim” is a race ?

    Muslims are delusional incontext to the west.

    The real propaganda is the media and government funding for these “chummy stories throughout the papers” The Sun Herald is pro Islamic.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 03 at 08:01 PM • permalink

  45. Paco Jr is just discovering life as an Infantryman. Hard cold, wet hungry and miserable or hard, hot, thirsty and miserable.
    The hard slog is punctuated with jewels like blowing stuff up with anti tank rockets, lighting up the night sky with tracer ammunition and occasionally getting to ride around in the back of armoured vehicles.

    He will love it.

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 02 03 at 08:42 PM • permalink

  46. #45: I believe he will, if he can just get through this cold spell. The hand warmers are, I suppose, examples of the “obscene amenities” derided by Barkin’ Arkin, but I’m sending them anyway.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 09:27 PM • permalink

  47. "He has hopes of becoming an “assaultman”, which, I believe, is the guy who handles the rocket launcher.”

    Lefties can only listen to Bruce Cockburn songs and dream. Guys in the Corps can really go out and make somebody pay.

    Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2007 02 03 at 10:07 PM • permalink

  48. #46, Paco:

    The hand warmers are, I suppose, examples of the “obscene amenities” derided by Barkin’ Arkin, but I’m sending them anyway.

    Yeah, you’re just pandering to him, trying to lift his misery and all.  Infantry are supposed to have frozen hands and feet--helps ‘em to fight better, right?

    The only thing obscene that I can see is allowing any thought of that unspeakable creature anywhere in mental proximity to those of your son--or any troop.  Cut him from your consciousness.

    And, as always, thanks for the updates about Paco, Jr.  He is often in my thoughts.

    Posted by saltydog on 2007 02 03 at 10:16 PM • permalink

  49. #48: Bless you, Salty, you are a dear girl.

    Naw, I’d never mention Arkin and his prose puke to Paco, Jr. As I’ve said before, when you look at the bravery and self-sacrifice of our glorious troops, and contrast with vicious, vacuous swine like Arkin, you’d think we were talking about two entirely different species.

    #47: You said it, Ernst.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 10:55 PM • permalink

  50. If you use Firefox, download the “Prefbar“ plugin, which has an option to turn the referrer on and off as well as a bunch of other useful stuff.

    Useful if you want to visit a site without indicting from whence you came. Unless you’re a 31337 hax0r d00d like Murph’s new Dutch friend.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 02 03 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  51. Really paco, if you were a True American as guys like Arkin envision it, you’d be screaming into the phone that Paco Jr is a future braindead babykiller with blood on his hands, and you’d be doing it For His Own Good.

    Posted by PW on 2007 02 03 at 11:33 PM • permalink

  52. #48 I thought frozen hands and feet led to frostbite, gangrene and amputation of said extremities??

    Seriously, though, I’m with Salty, and I reckon the rest of us are, too.

    Paco jnr is one of the fambly, and we always like to hear the news of goings on involving our younger members.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 03 at 11:36 PM • permalink

  53. #51: You’re right, PW; on the Arkin scale, I’m a “bad dad.” OTOH, on my scale, Arkin is a self-righteous prick. So I guess it all comes out even!

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 03 at 11:39 PM • permalink

  54. Posted on wrong thread

    Keep it up and you might find yourself with a dead hard drive.

    All great webmasters were once great hackers.

    Try me.

    What a miserable fuckwit. Just the threat is an offense, at least in this country, and I’ll doubt you’d have to search far to find someone who would argue that the threat was made in this country, even though the miserable fuckwit crim is in US and the victim is in UK.

    Quite right too. Anyone who makes a sleazy threat like that should be prosecuted. Extradict the fuckwit.

    Posted by geoff on 2007 02 03 at 11:51 PM • permalink

  55. #10, #50

    there is a little extension for firefox called RefControl, it gives you the option of blocking, forging, or a custom referral ie http://www.nicesiteFuckhead.com on a site by site basis.

    Posted by stahlblume on 2007 02 04 at 12:17 AM • permalink

  56. sorry didn’t know it would parse that as a link!

    Posted by stahlblume on 2007 02 04 at 12:18 AM • permalink

  57. Paco—that’s not a rocket launcher, it’s a door knocker.  Are we talking about the Israeli knockoff the Corps uses, the reusable launcher with the sealed round? The SMAW?

    Your boy’s running around with Secret Jew Rockets!  Good for him!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 04 at 12:40 AM • permalink

  58. mike hudson, ed kociela or richard kastelein?
    anyone?

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 02 04 at 02:56 AM • permalink

  59. murph: Tell him you’re using a proxy and your sooper-sekrit IP address is 127.0.0.1. Dare him to trash the hard drive of the computer using that address.

    He might fall for it, or he might not. You never know.

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 02 04 at 03:11 AM • permalink

  60. #52 Nilknarf Arbed -

    Paco jnr is one of the fambly, and we always like to hear the news of goings on involving our younger members.

    In case anyone is interested in my son, Sheridan, he just won 2nd place in a floral arrangement contest.  He should have won 1st place but his friend Percy stuffed his submission with exotic orchids.  Where does one get orchids in the middle of winter?

    Sheridan, of course, is crushed.  His mother is considering calling for an investigation over it.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 02 04 at 09:17 AM • permalink

  61. Oh dear.  Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous.  It has.  What. An. Idiot.

    I’ll explain later…

    Posted by murph on 2007 02 04 at 09:31 AM • permalink

  62. #61, please don’t tease us!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 02 04 at 09:46 AM • permalink

  63. #61. Has he sent you a BERM??

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 02 04 at 12:04 PM • permalink

  64. BERM?

    Posted by murph on 2007 02 04 at 02:46 PM • permalink

  65. Paco, if paco jr. is running around with secret Jew rockets, I imagine you can expect a grave denunciation from the UN in your mailbox next week.

    Posted by ushie on 2007 02 04 at 04:29 PM • permalink

  66. #65: Oh, I HOPE so! I can frame it and hang it over the fireplace. It’s been so long since I’ve been denounced by anyone well-known.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 04 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  67. #57 Richard: I dunno. I thought Secret Jew Rockets were only used for precision strikes on ambulances.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 04 at 05:03 PM • permalink

  68. #61 Wronwright, that is a dreadful thing to happen to Sheridan. Good luck with the investigation, and sending many warm fuzzies to try and cheer up your lad.

    And where can I get a Secret Jew Rocket? One of those might be good for Percy, too.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 02 04 at 05:09 PM • permalink

  69. #60 Wronwright: What Sheridan needs is Power-Accelerated Commando Orchids. They kick stamen, buddy.

    Posted by paco on 2007 02 04 at 06:51 PM • permalink

  70. Lefties can only listen to Bruce Cockburn songs and dream. Guys in the Corps can really go out and make somebody pay.

    Lefties are also big fans of pratictioners of things too sickening to relate.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 02 04 at 07:43 PM • permalink

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