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THEY CLING PRECARIOUSLY
Attention, global media! Here’s another picture of animals and water for you to misrepresent:
Suggested interpretations:
• “They cling precariously to the top of what is left of the landmass, their fragile grip the perfect symbol of the tragedy of global warming.”
• “Their habitat is drowning ... beautiful animals, literally being forced off the planet. They’re in trouble, got nowhere else to go.”
The last remaining pelicans huddle together for support just before they, too, are pulled under by the vicious, red-hot waves.
Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 04 07 at 01:26 PM • permalinkThe’re the endangered pelican species, they swim around my boat at mealtimes when I throw the foodscraps overboard. It keeps them fed and happy and fat. But pelicans, like penguins and shags and gulls and every other wildlife are feral creatures. One creature eats another. I’m happy to be human ‘cause I can eat everything.
That pelican off to the right, standing in the water? He’s a leftie begging to be allowed onto dry land. Look at the way he’s holding his head; that’s the avian equivalent of the Leftie Compassionate Head Tilt™. No doubt about it, that’s a leftie bird brain.
The other birds are likely members of the VRWC™, who were smart enough to stake out this land piece of solid land in the first place.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 04 07 at 02:09 PM • permalinkWell, I for one, am determined to make a difference.
I’m turning off my lights, computer, TV, computer, etc.
And it’s only 10 past 1 in the morning here in hcmc
sin chao
Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 04 07 at 02:13 PM • permalink#11, But but but, Jack from Montreal. hcmc isn’t part of GW. It’s a 3rd world place with only 30 million motorbikes. And 5 million Mercedes Benz, last time I was there in January. And they still don’t turn their headlights on at night in the country because it uses too much petrol. That always drives me crazy.
#1 I wouldn’t dare try it because I can’t afford it on my income—the bills are too big.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 07 at 03:09 PM • permalinkHehheh, I think I liked “Mount Arafat” better. That’s an imagination provoker. (Perhaps it was a pelican pilgrimage.)
Pelicans killed the Polar Bears!
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 04 07 at 03:44 PM • permalink<cue quiet, reverent David Attenborough voice>
They’ve been searching for days for a significant expanse of dry land, but to no avail. The seas have risen too high. Too exhausted by their futile quest to fly further, the doomed pelicans huddle together on the only unsubmerged land for a thousand miles and watch the inexorable approach of the starving polar bears.
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 04 07 at 04:01 PM • permalinkMy dad caught a pelican while fishing in Panama when I was a kid. It dive-bombed one of our skip baits and got hooked. Watching dad reel that thing in - while cursing a blue streak that only a military guy could pull off without sounding like a caracature - was the single funniest thing that I have ever personally witnessed in my life.
The “swoosh, swoosh!” of the wings as my dad pulled it down from about 50 yards up was ominous in the most hysterical way you could possibly imagine. I’m cracking up right now just thinking about it.
When he finally got it into the boat, it proceeded to beat him black and blue with it’s wings, which had me rolling on the deck with tears coming down my face from laughing. It probably took him a full minute to subdue the “monster.”
To top it all off, he sewed up the tear in the bird’s pouch before releasing it so it wouldn’t have any trouble catching fish. My dad was a… ah… unique kind of guy.
I’m sure that bird set some sort of pelican air speed record when dad finally released it. It was a dot on the horizon in mere seconds.
While in Thailand, I noticed that the Bangkok Post had an article bemoaning the “loss” of a low-lying island in the Andaman Sea. It was no surprise to see this taken up on television here (“Foreign Correspondent”, from memory) with a breathless piece puportedly showing the first island to be claimed by global warming.
The trouble is that the Andaman Sea is shallow and islands emerge and submerge continually as the sand moves with the currents. In short, those islands are like the sandbars we all know.
Hey, did anyone notice the article Permission To Read in the Weekend Australian magazine yesterday? It’s about recent publishing success Grazie, and right at the end it has this quote:
“By Friday morning Jane Bruton is still changing the plan. If something is “too monthly” it gets dropped. She’s decided to give an emotive picture of polar bears stranded on a melting ice cap her opening slot.
Aaaaackkk!!! The polar bears!!! They are stranded!!! And they are breeding!!! Soon the world will be taken over by these stranded (and breeding) polar bears!!!! AL GORE SAVE US!
“They cling precariously to the top of what is left of the landmass, their fragile grip the perfect symbol of the tragedy of global warming.”
And then Kevin Costner breaded, fried and ate them…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 07 at 06:30 PM • permalinkApropos of not much:
Female pelicans usually lay two eggs. The first chick hatches earlier than the second and is usually stronger. When the second chick hatches it is driven from the nest by the first chick and is prevented from returning by the parents. Eventually, the second chick dies of starvation or mistreatment.
Ain’t nature grand.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 04 07 at 06:41 PM • permalinkABC Yartz presents the world’s first all lesbian pelican performance of ‘Lord of the Flies’.
An especially relevant contemporary adaptation set in a globally warmenised world.
The critics are raving. A shocking indictment of the Bush /Howard Gaia raping axis.
Don’t miss it- it’s paid for by your taxes after all
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 04 07 at 07:36 PM • permalinkHALP US JON CARRY, WE R STUK HEAR ON THIS ILAND
Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 04 07 at 08:02 PM • permalink“As the splashening continued and the oceans rose, no-one could predict some of the side effects. With larger oceans, fish populations soared and surprisingly, sea birds feasted like Michael Moore at a fast food convention. Soon, the sheer weight of flocks of corpulent seabirds perching on an island peak could push them down into the rising seas. This terrible complication only hastened the coming of Waterworld.”
“Now it’s another marine environment that has been destroyed,” she said.
“Who knows if the coral reefs will recover and the fish will come back? Villagers will have to travel further to find the same sort of food and nutrition they’ve relied on—the whole food chain has been disrupted.”
(From the article linked by dean.) Gaia is evil!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 04 07 at 10:40 PM • permalinkWhere Count Paul Strezlecki first stood in 1840, ten pitiful pelicans perch precariously atop Mount Kosciusko, the last visible remant of the once thriving continent of Australia.
Image coutesy of Reuters
Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 04 07 at 11:33 PM • permalinkIgnoring the lessons of Earth history, evil neo-cons have ruined the terraformed paradise of Mars by inducing extreme climey-change, globey warm catastrophe with SUVs and coal.
Pelicans are all that remain on what was once a home away from home, Al Gore already commencing to build an energy-sucking mansion on Triton, to escape the flooded martian surface.It was such a nice day, I thought I’d walk.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 08 at 04:15 PM • permalink
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Bet they taste like chicken…