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REAL TURKEY WAS IRRADIATED
The plastic turkey fable, traditionally an illustrative tale of US president Oiljesus W. Pretzlerstein’s attempt to feed troops an inedible petrochemical bird, now mutates into a cautionary story on the dangers of radiation:
Saddam Hussein’s former palace is now the middle of the Green Zone. It was bombarded with D.U. munitions before and during the invasion. So has greater Baghdad ever since. So Green Zone residents inhale and ingest depleted uranium every day. Perhaps that’s why, during President Bush’s Thanksgiving visit, he was served a plastic turkey.
For this we must thank Irving Wesley Hall.
So Green Zone residents inhale and ingest depleted uranium every day.
Perhaps someone should explain to them that we all do. It’s a natural element, in the soil all around us.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 03 23 at 01:00 PM • permalinkLatino, it will more likely by depleted uranium contaminated, avian flu infected, pork stuffed, imitation plactic turkey, molded in the image of Mohammed, force fed to naked and hooded Iraqi children, during Ramadan, under the threat of attack dogs, served on a looted silver platter, in an Anglican Church. While leery US soldiers laugh and show them the soles of their boots.
he was served a plastic turkey.
Since a plastic turkey is made from toxic oil and decorated with lead paint, I think Bush’s handlers would rather serve him inert DU.
Posted by perfectsense on 2006 03 23 at 01:07 PM • permalinkDid you catch the last lines of his bio?
Hall campaigned for Ralph Nader in 2000 and is not Jewish.
Huh?
Posted by Marin Republican on 2006 03 23 at 01:14 PM • permalinkSo Green Zone residents inhale and ingest depleted uranium every day.—Irving Wesley Hall
Perhaps someone should explain to them that we all do. It’s a natural element, in the soil all around us.—Rob Crawford
Yes, true. But has anyone asked why is it a natural element, in the soil all around us? Bush! That’s why. He’s placed it in all the soil, everywhere, around us all. Probably in order to make a profit. Using Halliburton in some nefarious way.
Crawford, you’re a sheeplike toadie. Or maybe a toadlike sheepie.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 23 at 01:17 PM • permalink“Hall campaigned for Ralph Nader in 2000 and is not Jewish.”
Uh, OK. So he’s got that going for him.
Reading the rest of his article (or as much as I could stand) I notice that he doesn’t place a lot of emphasis on facts. But then “truth” is such an outmoded Western patriarchal concept. It really does get in the way of more important things, such as portraying the essential reality that lies outside of, and can often contradict, actual reality.
For those of you wondering, that’s not incoherent, it’s post-modern.
The Bio of this man is a self parody. Credential: He held a series of one-year high school and college positions in California.
Credential:informally blacklisted (what the hell is that? for his outspokenness and popular, but controversial, classroom techniques (such as banging co-eds).
Credential: Taught remedial English, world history,special education (retarded or emotionally disturbed students), dialectical materialism (no wonder they were disturbed).
Credential: He has a PhD (abd), which to the knowing is no PhD at all and means he didn’t have the talent to do scholarly research.
Credential: At age 40, Hall moved to New York City with his remaining belongings packed in a rental truck and the last Californiaunemployment check folded in his jeans. (Whew, the most talented loser in California.)
Credential: Operating from a Manhattan loft he taught himself carpentry, electrical, and plumbing skills and, with a partner, created a successful interior design and construction company. The goal of thisfinalbusiness venture was to retire and write satirical novels that empower citizens and skewer politicians. (Final goal not achieved. Another failure.)
Credential:Hall campaigned for Ralph Nader in 2000 and is not Jewish. (That must be a relief for the Jews.)
Why would anybody pay attention to this plastic brained loser?Hall holds a B.A. with honors in English and comparative literature and a Ph.D. (abd) in political theory, American government, and Latin American studies from the University of California, Riverside. He counseled draft resistance, agitated against the Vietnam War and debated California Gov. Ronald Reagan and he bested William F. Buckley in a 1962 debate on the Bill of Rights..
then
Hall moved… the last California unemployment check folded in his jeans.
Figures.
I know this is kind of off topic, but all this talk about radiation and plastic turkeys reminds me of a particularly hilarious episode of “Married with Children”, where the family sluggishly departs from the kitchen table, feeling kind of queasy, after eating a “Chernobyl Farms” chicken that Peg prepared (“But Peg! A three-legged chicken?!?”)
#3 Latino, it will more likely by depleted uranium contaminated, avian flu infected, pork stuffed, imitation plactic turkey, molded in the image of Mohammed, force fed to naked and hooded Iraqi children, during Ramadan, under the threat of attack dogs, served on a looted silver platter, in an Anglican Church. While leery US soldiers laugh and show them the soles of their boots.
Oh thanks a lot Texas Bob. That’s the plot line for the Easter fundamentalist Christian church service play the minions were rehearsing for Heil Hallibush and his lovely wife, Eva Braun Bush.
I guess now we’ll have to go with the reenactment of the Baghdad Museum of Antiquity sacking after all. I better break the news to paco and Stoop Davy Dave. Eighty hours of grueling rehearsals for nothing.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 23 at 01:38 PM • permalinkthinking… after reading wronwright’s disappointment… lucky I didn’t mention that the soldiers were watching the Ned Betty scene from Deliverance on DVD, giving the children the thumbs up and OK finger signs, while forcing the naked and irradiated pork-stuffed children to stack themselves into the form of a mosque where the soldiers unceremoniously defecate, wiping themselves with pages of the Koran….
Perfect: Uranium (depleted or not) is not inert, though. It’s chemically active and a toxic heavy metal, just like lead.
I mean, you don’t want to go eating the stuff intentionally; it has real chemical dangers, like all heavy metals, even though the hysteria about it is baseless.
But as munitions go, it’s not all that bad. I don’t hear people whining about the thousands and thousands of lead bullets fired in Baghdad, just in celebrations...
I thought depleted uranium rounds were like, bullets and stuff. How the hell do you breath them in unless you’re a hapless enemy tank commander not quick enough to get away from an angry A10 pilot?
Are starving people in Iraq going around picking them off the ground and trying to eat them? Can’t be good for your teeth. Dentists obviously stand to make a mint in Baghdad. Maybe they can use DU for fillings as well.
It shows how little Bushy McChimpyhitler cares about the Iraqis that he doesn’t give them full-bodied uranium but only the depleted shit.
The racist bastard; they deserve our finest.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 03 23 at 04:53 PM • permalinkHe held a series of one-year high school and college positions in California.
I don’t get it. Here’s a guy who couldn’t hold a job in California, who couldn’t get a legitamate PhD, who says he started a successful business but doesn’t promote it in his Bio, who taught himself plumbing, who boasts of campaigning for a loser, and he has to tell us he’s not a Jew?I ate a few meals in a Green Zone mess hall, right across the road from the bombed out hulk of the Ministry of Information. The ruins never glowed at night, but, hey, DU is DU, right? ;-P
Maybe I’m dead and just don’t know it?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 23 at 05:25 PM • permalink#11 Dave S.,
Lefties are funny when they talk about military hardware. DU bombs? Sheesh.
Hey, Time Magazine’s editors found it entirely credible that Pashtun villagers in Pakistan posing with a 20-year-old Soviet artillary round were displaying the “remains” of a Hellfire missile.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 23 at 05:53 PM • permalinkUranium (depleted or not) is not inert, though. It’s chemically active and a toxic heavy metal, just like lead.
That’s why we’re careful to use the more stable Depleted Uranum Hexafluoride rounds whenever our policy of silencing dissent requires us to mow down crowds of innocent protestors. Irving Wesley Hall shows unmistakable signs of DUH poisoning.
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 03 23 at 06:16 PM • permalinkThis bloke is a bit of plastic turkey, himself - giving the conservatives a basting and a besting.
Reagan: ” You are an obvious example of the person who, for all of your education, got
nothing what’s so ever out of it.”
Hall: “If that is the case, Governor, the tragedy is a double one because under the
principle of ‘study now and pay later,’ I am $3,000 in debt for my education.”
Reagan: “It should be cancelled.”
At this point, the Governor moves behind a line of plainclothesmen, one of whom begins
deliberately to block Hall’s way. As the Governor passed through the exit, Hall add “Will you be
good enough to take care of that for me personally, Governor?”I believe he then agrees with Reagan’s analysis of why it should be cancelled.
I thought depleted uranium rounds were like, bullets and stuff. How the hell do you breath them in unless you’re a hapless enemy tank commander not quick enough to get away from an angry A10 pilot?
Correct. DU is used for armor penetration. AFAIK, the uses are limited to ballistic projectives (SABOT tank rounds, large caliber bullets [20mm, .50 inches]). But the penetration tends to disintegrate the DU; plasma is produced as a result of the physical contact, and amplified by the DU itself, which adds to the fire, as it were.
As I understand the process, some DU does survive. But, as noted earlier, DU is a chemical hazard, not a radioactive one, because DU is a heavy metal.
Just like all those lead bullets laying everywhere in Baghdad. Go figure. I’d worry more about the air pollution, myself.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 23 at 08:14 PM • permalinkHow old is this guy Hall? 80?
I can’t imagine living that long where my claim to fame was as a homeowner! I mean, what homeowner is not a self-taught plumber, electrician, and carpenter. But you don’t put it on your resume unless it’s as a multi-million dollar per year grossing general contractor.
And, he bested Bill Buckley in a debate!
Only in Hall’s dreams, did he!Buckley didn’t do Firing Line for 30 years because people were besting him, week after week.
Dickweed.
I couldn’t wade through the whole thing either, but I did jump to the end:
Please don’t just sit in your chair while a million men and women—who volunteered to defend your freedoms—are exposed to a triple whammy of deadly radiation and condemned to a slow and agonizing death like a half million Gulf War vets before them.
(O-kay. Moving to couch now.) Where is this guy pulling his numbers from? His butt? I’ll give him this—he’s lived a consistent life. He was a leftist a-hole back in the 60s and he’s a leftist a-hole now in the aughts (I don’t know what we’re calling this decade—I call it the aughts). Well, I’m consistent, too. I hated leftist a-holes like Irving Wesley Hall (I probably hated Irving Wesley Hall—just don’t remember him) in the 60s and I hate ‘em now. Even more ‘cause now I’m old and crabby.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 23 at 08:59 PM • permalinkI’m sorry, I don’t know the Japanese name for a giant perverted radioactive turkey, so I got nothing here.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 23 at 09:31 PM • permalinkWait till he gets a load of Leunig’s plastic duck!
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 03 23 at 10:53 PM • permalinkit will more likely by depleted uranium contaminated, avian flu infected, pork stuffed, imitation plactic turkey, molded in the image of Mohammed, force fed to naked and hooded Iraqi children, during Ramadan, under the threat of attack dogs, served on a looted silver platter, in an Anglican Church. While leery US soldiers laugh and show them the soles of their boots.
Where do the bananas poisoned by the Jews fit in? Or shouldn’t I ask?
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 03 23 at 11:14 PM • permalinkThe real Wes Hall knew a thing or two about missiles.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 03 23 at 11:54 PM • permalink#37 richard, How do you say Michael Moore in Japanese?
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 24 at 12:10 AM • permalinkDonald Rumsfeld on Maureen Dowd:
Mr Rumsfeld also was asked about a New York Times column by Maureen Dowd, who said he was being treated at the White House as “an eccentric uncle”.
“If you believe everything you read in Maureen Dowd, you better get a life,” he said.
Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 03 24 at 03:34 AM • permalinkImmediate sceptic wall goes up when a bio says someone “bested”, someone else (usually someone famous) in a debate.
Debates aren’t olympic races. Winner is usually in the eye of the beholder. For someone to rely on something like that for their bio suggests a serious lack of real achievement to fall back on.
#37 Dicky Maccas
I’m sorry, I don’t know the Japanese name for a giant perverted radioactive turkey
Beasley-san?
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 24 at 04:13 AM • permalink#17 re #14: What the . . .? Does this mean I don’t get to wear my chasuble? And Stoop Davy’s already out-of-pocket on the Templar armor.
Nope, this really messes up the show. The Minionette are seriously pissed. They were looking forward to the chorus line (those little Abu Ghraib hooded numbers in mauve silk, and sans knickers).
Stoop Davy will have to try to run the expense account past some one gullible. I hear the French side of the VRWC has just advertised for a new expense accountant on Daily Kos.
I am a little suspicious at that, they must want a REAL idiot.
MarkL
Canberra51
I am a little suspicious at that, they must want a REAL idiot.
Yeah? Well tell them I’m too busy to take the gig!
And I’m holding on to this Templar armor, no matter what. NOT that the costume shop has even {i}offered{/i} to take it back, after all the work that went into modifying the greaves to accomodate my cloven hooves.Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 24 at 03:25 PM • permalink14 Ens Wrongway
That’s the plot line for the Easter fundamentalist Christian church service play the minions were rehearsing for Heil Hallibush and his lovely wife, Eva Braun Bush.
I’m not a big believer in jinxes, but there’s not denying this show has had more than its share of bad luck. Changing the venue from the fundamentalist church auditorium to the shady burlesque theater on the wrong side of town was probably it’s death-knell, but what else could they do? Every time I walked into the building, my shoes caught on fire.
I guess now we’ll have to go with the reenactment of the Baghdad Museum of Antiquity sacking after all. I better break the news to paco and Stoop Davy Dave. Eighty hours of grueling rehearsals for nothing.
Snot for nothing completely! I’ve got my line down pat!
Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 24 at 03:35 PM • permalinkTurkey Talk Time:
Is serving a plastic turkey a faux pas? A bit like serving beer in plastic cups instead of glasses? That doesn’t worry me, I drink straight out of the bottle.
I assume the continued reference to a plastic turkey is an insult. If so, it’s a pretty piss-weak one. And it seems false as well. It doesn’t do anything for me except draw attention to the writer. There should be a law about mentioning plastic turkeys similar to Godwin’s Law. What about the Gobble De Gook Law?
You know what, I still don’t get it ...
61, good point Dog. Probably still has a union grievance pending. And an NRA member? Please. That’s got to be cover for something.
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 03 25 at 12:38 AM • permalinkGiven that it would be easier to cash a California unemployment in California than on the road, and given the convenience of cash when on the road, he must have been in an awful hurry when he left the state. I wonder what he was fleeing from.
I also wonder where one can get a plastic turkey. In particular, I wonder where one could get a plastic turkey which would be less expensive than a real one.
stoop — If you don’t set the baptismal font boiling, you’re not read for OT VIII status… there goes your guest shot on South Park…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 25 at 01:17 AM • permalinkAha! So those so-called “auditions” were just another phase of your secretive winnowing process, eh? I should have known! No wonder Wronwright was giggling so hard, that whole day.
Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 25 at 02:27 PM • permalink
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Note that where Chimpy McHitler used to serve the plastic bird to the troops, he now has the ersatz fowl served to him.
This story will eventually evolve into him feeding poisoned avian flu chickens to Iraqi children. During ramadan. While wearing a cartoon Mohammed mask.
But it’s ok, the new journalistic standard is “fake but accurate.”