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THE GREEN WHO GRINCHED CHRISTMAS

A big ol’ boat—the world’s biggest, apparently—arrives in the UK loaded with Christmas joy:

Hundreds of spectators lined the shore to watch the Emma Maersk as it was guided into Felixstowe by three tugs.

The ship is a quarter of a mile long, 200ft high and as wide as a motorway.

Its cargo of toys, books, computers, Christmas crackers, decorations and food, are bound for Britain and mainland Europe.

The vessel’s master, Henrik Solmer, expressed pride at being the first person to take charge of it and said he was often hailed by other ships that it passed.

Who wouldn’t be happy to see such a wonder? The Greens, that’s who:

“The environmental costs of long-distance trade need to be properly taken into account,” said Dr Caroline Lucas, Green Party MEP for South East England.

“We must manage international trade in a way which is socially and environmentally sustainable, working towards global agreement on a raft of measures such as taxation on fuel and import tariffs designed to support home-grown businesses.

“This will help offset the environmental damage caused by ships like the Emma Maersk plying international waters filled with MP3 players and plastic toys.”

Thus do ship-hating, plane-hating, trade-hating Greens further reveal their alignment with knuckle-dragging commerce isolationists. A truth-in-advertising case should be brought against these people for wrongful use of the term “progressive”.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/09/2006 at 11:43 AM
  1. I hope they cleared their landing with the Offended Ones as well!  Wouldn’t want any seething erupting at the sight of all those Christmas items.

    Posted by Patricia on 2006 11 09 at 11:54 AM • permalink

  2. Thus do ship-hating, plane-hating, trade-hating Greens….

    You forgot “life-hating”.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 11 09 at 11:57 AM • permalink

  3. They’re against fruits, too.

    Attack of the kiwifruit moralists
    By Peter Foster; Financial Post; Published: Wednesday, November 01, 2006
    ...This week, the U.K.’s review of the alleged economic consequences of climate change, chaired by Sir Nicholas Stern, suggested that new taxes be introduced to discourage the long-haul of exotic fruits. Public Enemy Numero Uno was identified as the New Zealand kiwifruit. Former British Cabinet minister Stephen Byers claimed that every kilogram of kiwifruit flown into Britain was responsible for adding five kilograms of carbon to the atmosphere (presumably the same equation applies to every pound of UN bureaucrat so transported, the only difference being that people willingly pay for kiwifruit)....

    http://tinyurl.com/yy3md8

    [N.B. The link starts with a large pop-up.]

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 09 at 12:02 PM • permalink

  4. The sight of that ship makes me want to round up my boys so they can “ooh” and “ahh” in wonder.  I mean they still like the garbage truck—imagine the sight of that ship!

    Posted by tabitharuth on 2006 11 09 at 12:03 PM • permalink

  5. Only lefties could simultaneously be for internationalism in the political world and isolationism in the economic one.

    Maybe they think the whole terrorism problem can be solved by slapping export quotas on terrorists.

    Posted by PW on 2006 11 09 at 12:13 PM • permalink

  6. A truth-in-advertising case should be brought against these people for wrongful use of the term “progressive”.

    Sure they’re progressive.  They want to progress humanity and human civilization into the grave as quickly as possible.  So the nirvana can return.

    Posted by kcom on 2006 11 09 at 12:19 PM • permalink

  7. Did Ms Lucas text message that?  I’m just wonderin’, you understand.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 11 09 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  8. “We must manage international trade in a way which is socially and environmentally sustainable, working towards global agreement on a raft of measures such as taxation on fuel and import tariffs designed to support home-grown businesses.

    “This will help offset the environmental damage caused by ships like the Emma Maersk plying international waters filled with MP3 players and plastic toys.”

    Weaselspeak of the highest order.  By “manage”, he really means “reduce” or even “stop”.  But, say, he wants to keep this trade going so that a raft of taxes and tariffs can be put into place.  How does one then “offset” the resulting “environmental damage”?  There’s either damage, or there isn’t.  And if there is, how can you justify continuing it and still call yourself green?  Except for the raft of taxes and tariffs, of course, which would probably make the MP3 players and plastic toys too expensive for anyone but the rich to buy.

    Anyone think he’s using the word “raft” accidentally?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 09 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  9. Oops.  I just realized I was speaking of a female.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 09 at 12:33 PM • permalink

  10. greens are so stupid. this ship is likely the most economical means of moving goods in history. but screw that, let’s use 2 wheeled carts and oxen.

    Posted by paulris on 2006 11 09 at 12:33 PM • permalink

  11. Apparently the giant rubber duck is not finished, or they’d be protesting that.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2006 11 09 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  12. Rebecca:

    All these schemes—from global warming climate change, to the health care ‘crisis’ to making the UN slum lord over vast swaths of humanity—are designed to get more and more human and economic activity under the control and veto of statists and bureaucrats who’ll tell us what we’re allowed to do—for our own good, the good of humanity, the good of the planet, etc., etc.

    Incapable of producing wealth themselves, they seek to appropriate the productivity and output of others—ironically, becoming the very sort of parasites commies always told us they want to get rid of.

    Meet the new boss
    Same as the old boss

    Posted by cosmo on 2006 11 09 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  13. I propose a moratorium on the use of the word sustainable. That’s my contribution to the environment.

    Posted by Brian O'Connell on 2006 11 09 at 12:51 PM • permalink

  14. Santa Claus moves (apparently) millions of toys around with the help of a few environmentally conscious reindeer.
    He’s obviously the one we should emulate.

    Posted by Merlin on 2006 11 09 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  15. RebeccaH #9

    You’re being a gender Nazi.  How dare you!  Just how dare you!  Just not very European.  Heh!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 11 09 at 12:58 PM • permalink

  16. #14 merlin

    I’m with you - why have these big fuel guzzling big boats?

    Santa has his reindeers who do the same job!

    This is outright gazumping!

    Santa rules - no big ships with toys!

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 09 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  17. aussiemagpie

    They need all those big ships to get all the English cricket bats to OZ for the Ashes!

    Good luck OZ!  Two weeks!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 11 09 at 01:14 PM • permalink

  18. “We must manage international trade…”

    Green on the outside, red on the inside.

    Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 11 09 at 01:14 PM • permalink

  19. #17 yojimbo

    Yes you’re right on there!

    And on Sunday we will be heading off to the SCG to watch the Poms play against NSW

    (Hope the Pommies bats arrive in time)

    And no doubt at all - we’ll wipe out the Pommies

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 09 at 01:17 PM • permalink

  20. Martians, one and all of em. Greenish tint, filled with putrid gooy red and alien as hell.

    Would someone please check the filter on the gene pool?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 09 at 01:36 PM • permalink

  21. A truth-in-advertising case should be brought against these people for wrongful use of the term “progressive”.

    Well, here in the States, they utterly corrupted the word “liberal” before moving on to trash “progressive.”

    Next step - “rational human being.”

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 09 at 02:22 PM • permalink

  22. #15, Sorry.  It was the moustache that fooled me.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 09 at 02:34 PM • permalink

  23. Hundreds of spectators lined the shore to watch the Emma Maersk as it was guided into Felixstowe by three tugs.

    It should be pointed out that Felixstowe is not the livliest town in Britain.

    Posted by Ross on 2006 11 09 at 02:40 PM • permalink

  24. Well, here in the States, they utterly corrupted the word “liberal” before moving on to trash “progressive.”

    Next step - “rational human being.”

    I think they’re currently taking a detour through “reality”.

    Posted by PW on 2006 11 09 at 02:44 PM • permalink

  25. So the Greens don’t want Christmas toys to get to Britain so the kids will have to make due with coal in their stockings. That doesn’t sound too environmentally friendly.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 09 at 02:55 PM • permalink

  26. muahahahaha!

    Idea for a “Christmas Campaign”

    stockings with chunks of hard coal in them to be handed out to “Greenie Beaters”.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 09 at 03:00 PM • permalink

  27. Import tariffs… why does the left hate the world’s poor so?

    Posted by Mark V. on 2006 11 09 at 03:30 PM • permalink

  28. stockings with chunks of hard coal in them to be handed out to “Greenie Beaters”.

    Why hard coal? I thought soft coal had more sulfur in it.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 09 at 04:27 PM • permalink

  29. I say we use their earned socks of hard coal to beat them all into a bloody pulp.

    Merry Christmas!

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 11 09 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  30. We could all dress up as marauding elves and go spreading Christmas Cheer! to all the martians in lumps and whumps :)

    It could be like one of those “community events” that tend to be so popular with the rabble rousing left-o-bots.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 09 at 05:13 PM • permalink

  31. Looks like there could be a market for hemp iPods.

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 11 09 at 05:37 PM • permalink

  32. The local greenie fools are at it here too.

    They want everyone to turn of their Christmas lights and risk self-immolation with candles.

    Storyhere.

    —Nora

    Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2006 11 09 at 06:32 PM • permalink

  33. First they came for the light bulbs…

    Posted by Henry boy on 2006 11 09 at 06:40 PM • permalink

  34. Hmm, so is a “Greench” somewhat like a luddite?

    Posted by kae on 2006 11 09 at 06:45 PM • permalink

  35. GRINCH

    Green
    Reactionary
    Idiotic
    Notoriously
    Communist
    Hooligan

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 09 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  36. Given all of Europe’s existing problems, it will be very interesting to see what kind of impact all this pro-green regulation will have on their economy. I’m tipping a depression with much more associated social problems arising from poverty and unemployment.

    The Stern report seems to be part of a scare campaign to convince the British that drastic government intervention (ie, loads of new taxes) is needed, which will mean that the Labour Party will finally destroy the gains arising from Thatcherism.

    That said, it’s nice that there are States willing to experiment with crazy ideas. Just as the Soviet Union proved that communism was disasterous, the EU will demonstrate the bankruptcy of environmentalism.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 11 09 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  37. “Why does the left hate the world’s poor so?” - Mark V

    Because the rest of the world might just pay more attention to something that actually matters (reducing poverty), instead of the current lefty topic of the week.

    It really comes down to the fact that lefties have an overiding need to feel smug and superior to someone else.

    Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 09 at 11:34 PM • permalink

  38. “filled with MP3 players and plastic toys.”

    While greenies still cling pitiously to their 8 track tapes and smooth rocks to keep themselves amused…

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 11 10 at 01:34 AM • permalink

  39. #33 ...and you didn’t care because it was daytime.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 10 at 03:33 AM • permalink

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