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THE EDUCATION OF YOUNG DAWOOD
The Gold Coast Sun reports (no link available; from the September 26 edition):
Australian terrorism detainee David Hicks may be headed for the Gold Coast when he is released from an Adelaide prison at the end of the year.
A
neighbour for Kevin!
Hicks ... hopes to study zoology and geology and will try to get into a Gold Coast university, his father, Terry, told the Sun.
But the Gold Coast isn’t Dave’s first choice:
“He will sit for his university entrance exam next month,” [Terry Hicks] said. “If he can’t get into Adelaide University, he is thinking about coming to the Gold Coast - you have some very good universities here.”
Dave is kinda picky for someone who left school at 14 and whose most recent career ambition was Jew Exterminator. He’s a snob in jail, too:
[Dave] is not keen to mix with the other prisoners. “He doesn’t see himself as a criminal, and he doesn’t really want to mix with criminals,” said Mr Hicks.
Hicks trained with al Qaeda and served with the Taliban. If I was some Aussie crim holed up with Dave in Yatala prison, I’d be feeling mighty offended.
(Via Raffi)
Someone should tell him the whole area will soon be underwater.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 10 08 at 12:17 PM • permalinkDavie’s sitting his entrance exam for university next month?
C’mon. Not that I’m judging, but the bloke dropped out of school at 14, was basically a waster and washout until he joined the taliban and started to shoot guns in afghanistan, spent a few years in a prison cell studying the koran.
Does this look like a university candidate to anyone?
Late-entry university applicants don’t sit an exam like high school students do. They do a 6 or 12 month preparation course for a specific institution, and if they pass, they may get a place at that particular institution.
They certainly don’t pick and choose and say, “I’ll go here and study this,” or “I’ll go there and study that.”
Terry Hicks is talking through his arse again. As usual.
“He doesn’t see himself as a criminal, and he doesn’t really want to mix with criminals”
Lightly strikes the bars with his Romanian crystal wine glass, sounding a perfect F sharp.
Hicks: “Jailer! I say, jailer!”
Jailer (yawning): “Yes, Mr. Hicks, what is it now?”
Hicks (screwing monocle into his eye): “Has the warden approved my request for saddle soap? These spats are in horrendous shape. Also, my homburg needs to be reblocked.”
Jailer (sighing): “I’ll check with his nibs at the first available opportunity, Mr. Hicks.”
Hicks: “Well, hop to it, my good man. And kindly advise the other inmates here to keep their distance in the exercise yard. They’re really not my sort at all. Do you know that a fellow approached me yesterday and asked me for a smoke? Some garden variety cutpurse actually expected me to hand over one of my Davidoff cigarettes. I mean, really! I cut him, of course.
Jailer (gasping): You cut him? Was he seriously injured?
Hicks: I daresay his amour-propre was decidedly wounded.
Jailer: This is serious, Mr. Hicks! Where did you get the knife?
Hicks (looking exasperated): No, no! I don’t mean with a knife! I mean I gave him a look of lofty disdain, and passed without speaking to him.
Jailer: Look, Mr. Hicks, you’d better climb down off that high horse, or you’re likely to wind up getting cut, and I don’t mean with no haughty looks, neither!
Hicks: And that’s another thing. I’ve heard quite a few of the inmates making scatological remarks which suggest a threat to my person. You’ll have the warden speak to them, of course?
Jailer: Yes, Mr. Hicks. I’ll ask the warden to make sure and tell everybody to make nice. Anything else, sir?
Hicks: One last thing. I’m expecting a package of geology books in the mail. Please see that they’re delivered to me as soon as they arrive.
Jailer (brightening up): I’m glad that you mentioned that, Mr. Hicks! The warden was just saying the other day how he was about ready to give you the opportunity to do some field work in basic geology. You know, making little ones out of big ones.
Hicks: Ah, excellent! I’ll need a topee, naturally, and a couple of bearers. And probably one of those telescope thingies that the surveyor chaps use. See to it at once. Oh, and do get those curtains I asked for. The sunlight coming through the window is casting a shadow on my omelette in the morning, and I simply can’t abide a cold omellete. Run along now, there’s a good fellow.
#5 I take it that would be David “Bingo” Hicks, late of the Guantanamo chapter of the Drones Club.
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 10 08 at 01:13 PM • permalinkQuite true. A lot of ordinary decent criminals would scorn him as they would scorn a rabid dog.
On a night when his mates got a few of our boys, I don’t think I’d be unadjacent to veracity in saying as many do - David can go to the dustbin of history.Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 10 08 at 01:36 PM • permalink[Dave] is not keen to mix with the other prisoners.
He probably doesn’t want to be someone’s bitch, even though that seems to be his career of choice.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 08 at 01:36 PM • permalinkReference for #11
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22554971-601,00.htmlPosted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 10 08 at 01:37 PM • permalinkya know, I had something quite witty to put down until I read #5…shoulders slump like a dejected whipped puppy that just missed out on licking the plate…..
Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 10 08 at 01:59 PM • permalinkThe sunlight wouldn’t cast a shadow on his omellette. I think he meant to have the curtains removed, not put in.
You’re assuming that Hicks has a clear grasp of the thermodynamics of passive heating and cooling. It’s entirely possible that he doesn’t; he hasn’t been to university, you know.
By the way, Paco, I wouldn’t dream of correcting your spelling . . . but would you please pick one spelling of “omelette” and stick with it? The endless variations are making me dizzy. Thanks.
“Clouds of Witnesses”
More likely, it would be Peter Death Bredon Wimsey, ther black sheep of the family who was periodically inclined to ‘borrow’ Lord Peter’s identity for personal gain. However, Lord Peter, in turn, borrowed PDBW’s identity during an undercover investigation “Murder Must Advertise”.The character of PDBW also appears in “The Bibulous Business of a Matter of Taste”.
Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 10 08 at 03:11 PM • permalinkPaco:
“Bohemian Lead Crystal Glassware”.Cheers
Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 10 08 at 03:18 PM • permalinkTrixi walks into the visitor’s section of Adelaide prison and looks around for the boy Daewood. Hearing he wanted to attempt higher learning, she was out to test his worthiness and adaptability. Wearing the green twinset that makes her eyes sparkle, with a knee length leopard print skirt, fishnets and ankle boots (the warden does insist the female visitors dress modestly), she sashays up to the boy. He breaks into a sweat, becoming more drenched with her every step. So, David darrrlin, she purrs, you want to study zoololgy and geology with the big boys? Well come on boy, roar like a tiger, show me how Old Faithful erupts, and how to make these mountains peak! As the boy quivvers to the floor turning into a puddle of muck, being the little shit he is, she leans over, grabs him by the ears, and whispers fiercely. Tim Blair is a real man, boy, you should have taken lessons from him rather than pinning your hopes on some ethereal dream of 72 virgins! She stands up and gives him a “gentle” kick in the area that most geologists would call “rock formations”, blows him a sarky kiss and walks out, never looking back. That was David’s last lucid moment before they wrapped him tightly and carted him off to his new padded cell.
You sheeple think paco does such a great PG Wodehouse impersonation. What you fail to understand is it comes so easy to paco because that’s how paco actually sounds.
Oh yeah, you say “but he’s from North Carolina, he cannot actually sound privileged, can he?” Of course! Ever heard of the Biltmore? It’s located in Asheville, North Carolina.
That story about paco’s dad being Andy Griffith and having captured a great moonshine runner comes out of paco’s PR machine. It’s all to make his imagine better. Why? Well, I suspect it’s in case Karl needs to pluck someone and have them run for the Republican nomination.
You people are so blind.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 10 08 at 03:42 PM • permalink#26: Really, old top: Paco, an exemplar of the bon ton? A boulevardier? A denizen of country homes and a pillar of the county set? Not half! Why, my friends Percival Smythe-Pooter and Marmaduke Pendragon were telling me just the other day that I came within a toucher of creating a scandal at the club by showing up on the links wearing slacks instead of plus-fours, and a straw hat the style of which Pendragon said resembled the haberdashery sported by gin-soaked copra growers. No, you won’t catch me putting on any false airs.
Wouldn’t he be better qualified for the Centre for Middle East Studies at Macquarie University?
On second thoughts, he’s already completed that course. Perhaps a postgrad course in American Studies at Flinders University?
#4
Er, yes they do, MareeS. It’s called alternate entry and one of the pathways is via the STAT test. I got 84% in it (best score is 86%, which gave me an OP of 8.)
There are a few ways to get into University if you are a Mature Age Student (ie. over 21).
Although I think that Mo Dawood’s chances of getting in with his Personal Competencies Assessment may not cut the mustard.See QTAC Alternative Entry Overview.RIP to the Aussie digger who passed away yesterday - may his family know he did not die in vain, but for the good of humanity.
That piece of excrement from SA should stay there - there are enough shits here already, and by the way, aren’t your kids in SA David? Don’t you want to be a good daddy? Or is it as usual, just about you?
Nice timing on the comparison between a true digger who fought to help people, and one sad imbecile who others “fought” for, to help themselves.
The fucking shirker should finally get a real job, put in some work and support his spawn.
Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2007 10 08 at 06:18 PM • permalinkThere are times when tolerance becomes a form of suicide.
And just in time for the celebration of Che’s death, there’s this item.
“Chancho” is a much more appropriate nickname.
“Dave” is not keen to mix with the other prisoners.
Probably because they would kill him at the fiurst opportunity.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 10 08 at 06:44 PM • permalink#5 Ah, no! The lofty disdain. When will it end?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 10 08 at 06:48 PM • permalink5 Genius.
18 Paco may spell ommelett any way he likes. It’s called perfectly adjusted culinary orthography.Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2007 10 08 at 06:48 PM • permalinkI’d like to see the Gold Coast University offer a scholarship to anyone in the family of the digger KIA in Afghanistan.
I’d like to see the Gold Coast Sun do a tribute to the sacrifice of australian diggers and so atone for giving Terry Hicks publicity.
I’d like to see the ABC go to Terry Hicks to see what he thinks about the digger who has just been KIA. Just for balance.
Which makes me wonder, when Mohammed Dawood gets out, will SBS and ABC retain him for comment whenever the war is discussed? Just for balance? Scum.
From outcast, deadbeat dad, welfare leech and terrorist, to goal oriented university student in 5 short years. If only the Taliban ran youth outreach centres in Australia.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 10 08 at 08:22 PM • permalinkHicks wants to study zoology. Send him to research the komodo dragons and saltwater crocs… or maybe the brain-eating amoeba…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 08 at 08:49 PM • permalinkWait, you guys don’t get it, this is priceless! What better place for a misogynist terrorist to be but in an Australian University, staffed by members of the sisterhood? How is he going to cope with ‘no sexist language guidelines’ for assessments?
Imagine the tutorials:
Tutor: Would anyone else like to comment on the theme of the poem about the subjugation of women within the Howard led autocracy? David, you’ve been quiet.
Hicks: Aiyyyyee, women are no better than dogs, they should heel when their masters tell them to do so, the hijab should be mandatory for all females not kept on a leash.
Tutor: Ah well, I think we’ll put this one down as a fail, don’t you think?
Gee, how on earth did Nicky and I miss this story?
The Gold Coast has an industrial suburb called Yatala maybe that’s where Dagwood got confused.
—Nora
Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 10 08 at 09:41 PM • permalinkWhoa! For a minute, I thought they were talking about a jockey.
Hes mot a patch on Raffles old boy.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 10 08 at 09:56 PM • permalink#58: God bless Trooper Pearce and comfort his family.
As Victor Davis Hanson wrote recently: “I hardly speak for soldiers, never professed that I did. Mine are the mere observations of an outsider, nothing more than thoughts of a military historian after a second visit to Iraq. Take them or leave them: my feeling that those in Iraq are the moral upper-crust of our society is not cheap moralizing or patronizing, but the simple truth—as hard as that is for some to accept.” Amen.
Queensland uni, eh. That’s where you go if you can’t get into a second or third tier university in your home state.
Sounds like the plot of Peterson.
Tony Petersen, a married electrician and ex-footballer, goes to university to study English. Petersen is odd man out at the uni. He receives extracurricular help from his stuffy professor’s beautiful lecturer wife in her office.
Posted by walterplinge on 2007 10 08 at 10:21 PM • permalinkThis morning, the talking heads on Ch 9 were only interested in the electoral effects of Trooper Pearce’s death.
The consensus was that it would favour neither party, and they seemed quite disappointed that it could not be blamed on Howard now that KRudd has given his support for our troops being in Afghanistan.
I need help from you all in finding a suitable epithet for the sub-species that inhabits our meeja.um kae, did you see the date of that article?
Thursday, August 10, 2006. 3:18pm AEST
Agree paco - soldiers willing to put their life on the line for a noble gesture to benefit humanity can always hold their heads high, and deserve respect from all.
David is just a silly little death wish boy who still hasn’t grown up, and whose father needs the STFU.
Terry Hicks is deluded. I wouldn’t rate any of the Queensland universities nationwide, and as for the Gold Coast? Well, the best of a bad lot would be that liposuction/facelift ‘institute’ in the carpark of the Coolangatta airport.
He’d probably get a better education in jail.Posted by Steven Rogan on 2007 10 09 at 01:26 AM • permalinkTerry Hicks is deluded. I wouldn’t rate any of the Queensland universities nationwide, and as for the Gold Coast?
Oh dear. Even after all of these years the knowall upthemselves snobs south of the Tweed (actually south of about Port Macquarie) who have never ventured west of the Divide just cannot hide their anti-Queensland bigotry. And ignorance.
Rating Queensland univerities nationally? And internationally? Fortunately this is done by professionals.
np kae - I only saw 1 player was let on bail, but now see 2 have been sacked. Good on the club for holding firm on their don’t be a dh rule.
re UQ is a top uni. My old uni sucks on the rankings, but is still highly regarded by employers.
But I must say apart from Griffith and Bond, any other uni here is just a satellite from head campus. And yes, GC does have leading plastic surgeons based here - funny that!
#75 peter m
Because of what I do and where I do it I am not in a position to say which Unis are top or otherwise.
I used to be proud to work here, until I realised that every place is the same.
Little demi-gods making their own little empires with their own agendas.Now I just go to work and do my job and they pay me. I help students when I can (I don’t have much student contact these days, locked in a garrett doing timetabling and biblio collection and other duties as directed…)
Face it, I wouldn’t keep coming in if they didn’t pay me!
I’m happy they sacked the two players, I heard an interview with someone, can’t remember who (I was trying to avoid hailstorms at the time), and he said these two players had done stupid stuff too often to let it go.
[Dave] is not keen to mix with the other prisoners. “He doesn’t see himself as a criminal, and he doesn’t really want to mix with criminals,” said Mr Hicks.
Are the other prisoners keen to mix with David Hicks is the real question. I don’t know how it goes in Oz, but in the US, the typical con (murdering, thieving scum though he may be) wouldn’t care much for the likes of Mr. Dawood. By the time he got out, he’d be well versed in animal behavior. Got your zoology right here, Dave.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 10 09 at 03:35 PM • permalink
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Hicks ... hopes to study zoology and geology
He is going to get his rocks off with animals?