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“THE CENTRAL COMPUTER IS IN TEXAS”

Fascinating theories at Indymedia:

The central computer is in Texas, I know this already, I knew this 15 years ago, its probably expanded alot since 15 years ago, thats where thousands of webpages & filebases are stored from all round the world, the main domain name servers are located there & ip allocation servers are located there. Its all based there, everybody who supposably works in the so called IT field, IT as in ALIEN CONTROLLER industry simply outsource their services, from agents who outsource their servers from Texas. Its highly regulated, thats why the 2000 circuit based BBS dialup services that were run from peoples homes & served the Australian computer for 25 yeasr were all outlawed in 1995, so they the ALIEN controlers from TEXAS & their many agents in the IT field could control everything with their ARPANET, otherwise known as INTERNET.

Read on for the author’s concession that the central computer may have subsequently moved to Brussels, where “it is responsible for the allocation & monitoring of the universal product codes as well as storing the entire internet there.”

(Via Capt. John)

Posted by Tim B. on 03/22/2007 at 09:20 AM
  1. Prepare to be assimilated.

    We’re very sorry you discovered this, Tim.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 03 22 at 09:45 AM • permalink

  2. This is like the Purloined Letter, put the truth out there and no one will believe it.

    -BTW, how did this joker get to the truth?  Methinks we need an internal investigation & purge.  Oh, and this guy needs to have an “accident”

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 22 at 09:46 AM • permalink

  3. Like THAT is any big secret.
    Everybody knows we keep the Internet in a pen behind the End of Jackson Ice House in Pasadena.  The WHOLE Internet with along with its thousands of webpages.

    May this moron drown in his own bong water.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 03 22 at 09:47 AM • permalink

  4. Those who divulge the secrets of the Presbyterian Alien Controller Organization tend to, ahem, have accidents…

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 03 22 at 09:52 AM • permalink

  5. Is this the same guy that spilled the beans about The Government implanting that metallic stripe in our money so they could sit outside your house in a van to count your cash?

    Texas Bob, is that pen ballpoint or fountain?

    Posted by Retread on 2007 03 22 at 09:54 AM • permalink

  6. TBob:
    Actually that wouldn’t be a bad place to hide it, but can The Internet handle the unique Eau de Pasadena?

    Obviously this is false. Everybody knows that The Internet is actually made up of flying monkeys who use subterranean tunnels to deliver my packets to Oz.

    Posted by brett_l on 2007 03 22 at 09:56 AM • permalink

  7. Ha Ha!  Fooled you all!  I know for a fact that The Server is located in Area 51, that it’s being controlled by real-life aliens with big eyes, that it’s shooting out mind rays through women’s hair, and that your tinfoil hats will avail you nothing!
    Nothing, I tell you!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 03 22 at 09:58 AM • permalink

  8. Texas. I think that’s also where the Soylent Green processing plant is.

    Posted by Tai Chi Wawa on 2007 03 22 at 10:00 AM • permalink

  9. Well if it’s in Brussels how come my Lady Godiva Chocolate orders are so bleeping slow?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 10:00 AM • permalink

  10. #8 Mmmmmm, Soylent Green Gahhhhhhhh (Homer drool)

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 22 at 10:02 AM • permalink

  11. RebeccaH

    That mind rays through women’s hair thing sounds pretty authentic to most of the guys here I would suspect.  I wouldn’t argue with it.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  12. The Brussels project, code named The Beast is compiling data on every human currently living.

    Each human will have a 6 digit binary code for his legal record, a 6 digit binary code for his medical record and a 6 digit binary code for his financial/residental record.

    6 6 6 = the number of a man, get it?

    The really secret secret is that they’re gonna use the new base 32 numbering system instead of binary so they can record more stuff.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 22 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  13. Well I added my comment…

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 03 22 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  14. #5 Retread: That would be goat pen.

    #8 Tai Chi Wawa, you are correct and this also explains the Eau de Pasadena that Brett_l mentions in #6.  Its often lovingly referred to as Stinkadena.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 03 22 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  15. This appears to have been lifted straight from P.J. O’Rourke’s book ``Modern Manners’’ - more precisely, the section entitled ``How to Talk While on Drugs.’’

    Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 03 22 at 10:11 AM • permalink

  16. #12 Grimmy:
    Uh, you didn’t get the memo? The new number of the beast is 616. Damien had to get his tattoo changed. Major bummer all’round. Anyhow, I hear they’re just allocating 6^16 bits/person now.

    Posted by brett_l on 2007 03 22 at 10:12 AM • permalink

  17. Yeah, but what Grimmy did’t tell you is that the square root of 666 is 25.81!  That is 1.618 times the brain cells in Paris Hilton’s head!  Further proof of the RebeccaH null hypothesis.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 10:14 AM • permalink

  18. Reminds me of a story I heard where several members of the Soviet Politburo were convinced that the US economy must be controlled by a secret central planning committee of supreme geniuses.  They proposed the dispatch of KGB agents to locate and assassinate the members of the imaginary committee.

    Posted by murph on 2007 03 22 at 10:15 AM • permalink

  19. Oh no!  Our secret is out!

    Activate Plan Omega!  No, I mean Plan Theta!  Wait, which is the one where I go in the underground bunker at the Earth’s core with the 1000 buxom blondes?

    Posted by TallDave on 2007 03 22 at 10:19 AM • permalink

  20. #18

    The woods are dark and deep
    and I have miles to go before I sleep

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 10:20 AM • permalink

  21. F*ck.  Me.  Dead.  That site is hilarious.

    I loved this comment:-

    I read that the Flemish people of Belgium didn’t exist before WW2 but that the SS and the French collaborators got together and started a breeding program in southern Belgium to produce a super-race of people. They call them the Flemish people after the strange hybrid language they spoke (some had a german father/mother with a french mother/father etc).

    To this day I don’t trust anyone from Belgium or even northern France/north-western Germany. It’s just too dangerous and you never know if they are Flemish and just not showing it to you. I have once personally walked out of a French cafe in Adelaide because I thought the guy behind the counter was Flemish -and you know waht? I went back a few days later and they said he was fired! Yeah, right - I think he knew his cover was blown.

    Holy.  Shit.

    Posted by murph on 2007 03 22 at 10:21 AM • permalink

  22. To this day I don’t trust anyone from Belgium or even northern France/north-western Germany.

    Well, they got that much right, anyway.

    Posted by R C Dean on 2007 03 22 at 10:23 AM • permalink

  23. #21 - murph

    Sorry, mate - that one was just me fooling about. I was aiming for the Indymedia mindset and hoping to get close…

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 03 22 at 10:25 AM • permalink

  24. DK

    That is comedy gold.

    Posted by murph on 2007 03 22 at 10:28 AM • permalink

  25. hahahahahaha

    great, dk! so perfect you should be afraid yourself…

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 03 22 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  26. Well, at least they didn’t mention the Bavarian illuminati.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 03 22 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  27. #26 No one expects the Bavarian Illuminati. . .

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 22 at 10:34 AM • permalink

  28. #25 - Living in France means you have ample opportunity to practice your Belgian bashing. They are to the French what the Irish are to the Aussies or the Poles to the Yanks.

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 03 22 at 10:36 AM • permalink

  29. I thought Joe Vialls had kicked the bucket?

    Oh wait, this loon didn’t prattle on about da jooz controlling it, so it ain’t him.

    As you were.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 03 22 at 10:41 AM • permalink

  30. #28 And the Yanks problems with the Poles are what exactly!?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  31. They’re called registered voters, folks…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 03 22 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  32. You know what else comes from Brussels? Brussel sprouts!!! Coincidence? I think not!!

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 22 at 10:43 AM • permalink

  33. #30

    Nothing really, yojimbo, aside from the old crude “pollack” jokes… which probably came over with German immigrants.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 03 22 at 10:47 AM • permalink

  34. Spiny Norman

    You’re so gullible.

    Joe Vialls didn’t kick the bucket, he was kidnapped by Mossad prior to the Lebanon conflict and is being held in a bunker under the Bank of England.  After all, he discovered the truth about their mini-nukes destroying the Kuta bar in Bali, so what was going to stop him finding out about the Super-Secret-Sneaky-Jew-Instant-Rusting-Can-Opener Missile project?

    Posted by murph on 2007 03 22 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  35. #30 - that’s what I meant.

    Apologies if I got the US cultural reference wrong.The Aussies don’t hate the Irish and the Frogs don’t hate the Belgians. Just the friendly jokes we make.

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 03 22 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  36. #30, yojimbo:

    #28 And the Yanks problems with the Poles are what exactly!?

    I, for one, have a problem with poles. Especially when I happen to be out and about and I target fix on a fine young vixen and walk right smack into a damn pole. Also, poles with no parking signs on them tend to piss me off, sometimes.

    But I think what DK meant was more like how yankees tend to view southern cooters and southern good ol’ boys tend to view damn yankees, and us decent folk here in California tend to view all you heathen east of the rockies.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 22 at 10:49 AM • permalink

  37. Hmmmm…sounds like David Icke is spilling the beans again.
    Mental note - He knows too much.
    At least he kept quiet about the
    Royal Family being “bloodsucking alien lizards”.

    Posted by Mike_W on 2007 03 22 at 10:59 AM • permalink

  38. #4 murph

    Another theory I’ve seen on Idiotmedia is that Joe was a Mossad agent himself and was called back just as his operation was going to be exposed.

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 03 22 at 10:59 AM • permalink

  39. #34, rather…

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 03 22 at 11:00 AM • permalink

  40. Didn’t you hear, Rummy runs the internet now along with John Ashcroft, thats the only reason Bush let them go.

    Posted by alien kiwi on 2007 03 22 at 11:02 AM • permalink

  41. #37, Mike_W:

    Man, you’re so trying to start up the old vampire vs werewolf fight again, aint yeh?

    Btw, everyone knows the Royal Family is descended from Lilith.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 22 at 11:15 AM • permalink

  42. #37. Isn’t ‘Icke’ a Flemish name?

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 03 22 at 11:27 AM • permalink

  43. #36 Grimmy,

    Yankees go down south to visit, Damn Yankees never leave.  There is a distinction!!!

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 03 22 at 11:37 AM • permalink

  44. ALL YOUR INTERNET ARE BELONG TO US…..

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 03 22 at 11:37 AM • permalink

  45. Old Tanker

    That’s the word from the Tampa/St. Pete area every spring!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  46. #43, Old Tanker:

    Shoot. I’ve seen Gangs of New York and Deliverance. I know all about you weirdos east of the rockies.

    I’m all for the California National Guard manning all access points through the Sierra Nevadas to keep you heathen on your side of the mountains.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 22 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  47. People, you are all WRONG WRONG WRONG about the location of The Great Computer™.

    Don’t believe me?  rbj1 in #2 had it right: They used the Purloined Letter method to hide The Great Computer™, right down to making a documentary disguised as a bad science fiction movie about It

    I, for one, welcome our not-so-new Overlord.

    BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 03 22 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  48. One of the best - or is it worst?

    Documentary filmmaker Jude Kemper was attempting to get close to Dick Cheney to reveal Cheney’s ties to Satanists.  As a result Kemper was kidnapped and has been missing for over two years! (This of course is a story that should have made every major news program in the world…yeah right. Ask yourself who controls the media?)...

    After anti-Dick Cheney filmmaker Jude Kemper disappeared, his friend Brandon Corey set out on a search for him and opened the door to a secret world.  A dangerous world populated by Satanists, powerful political leaders, and possibly, Aliens.

    So it’s a choice between 300 and this? Hmmmm…

    Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 03 22 at 11:40 AM • permalink

  49. They’ve discovered Deep Thought.  Prepare the black helicopters - it’s time to pay someone a little visit.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 03 22 at 11:42 AM • permalink

  50. Grimmy

    I’m all for the CNG manning all EXIT points into Arizona!  Heh!

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 11:45 AM • permalink

  51. #47, #49:

    Yeah? you think you got it down to the bare knuckle truthiness?!?

    Well guess again! The Demon Seed walks among us!

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 22 at 11:47 AM • permalink

  52. #50, yojimbo:

    Yeah, funny how that would work like that huh? lol.

    But then, where would you get your pepper pickers?

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 22 at 11:48 AM • permalink

  53. Let’s see what we’ve learned recently from the moonbats:

    1. The Central Computer is in Texas.

    2. 9/11 was an inside job.

    3. The Jews control everything.

    4. The Jews, in turn, are controlled by a 91-year-old arthritic Jew living secretly in a walk-up apartment in Los Angeles.

    There’s more, but they would kill me if I told you.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 03 22 at 12:06 PM • permalink

  54. #52 Grimmy

    We are willing to negotiate on the pepper picker issue.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 12:16 PM • permalink

  55. #54 Is Paco proposing pepper picker programs?

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 22 at 12:29 PM • permalink

  56. Damn, TRJS beat me to the Forbin reference.  (A side note to my fellow commentariat of the female persuasion—Forbin Project is laughably dated and doesn’t really go anywhere plot-wise, but it does have Eric Braeden naked.)

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 03 22 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  57. Not that I care about Eric Braesen being naked, Achillea, I just wanted to mention that the books were FAR better than the movie.  :-D

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 03 22 at 12:43 PM • permalink

  58. #57 -

    Books?!  There are books?!

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 03 22 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  59. #46 Grimmy

    I’ve seen “Colors”, I’m not going anywhere near California…....

    Posted by Old Tanker on 2007 03 22 at 01:11 PM • permalink

  60. Something I just “learned” from my moonbat work colleague:  The USA has been at war for all but 15 months of its existence.  Why?  Because, its economy is entirely dependent on war and always has been!

    Me (calm): I think you’ll find that there have been greater periods of peace in the hist…

    Loony (interrupting): I’ve done the research! It’s true!  Until you’ve done the same you cannot say otherwise!  Have you done the research?  No!

    Me: *Sigh*

    Posted by murph on 2007 03 22 at 01:13 PM • permalink

  61. #55 I thought the question was; “is Paco proposing pickle packer programs?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 01:20 PM • permalink

  62. Paco pickle packer program proposals versus Paco pepper picker program proposals.

    Can’t we just all get along.
    I think we need a scientific consensus on this.

    I propose a Kyoto like convention on Paco pickle packing/pepper picking program proposals.  Its time has come.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 01:32 PM • permalink

  63. Let’s do it for the children.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  64. Murph

    How does the nitwit explain bleeping Europe?

    If you want to research “war ravaged” you have to start in the E’s and then page back to the A’s.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 01:38 PM • permalink

  65. #62
    Howzabout:
    Paco pepper picker pickled pepper packer program proposals.

    Then we can all join hands and sing Kumbaya.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 03 22 at 01:40 PM • permalink

  66. Worth bearing in mind that the internets are serious business!

    Care: NSFW (Profanity)

    Posted by MB on 2007 03 22 at 02:04 PM • permalink

  67. #65

    The Convention on the Paco pepper picker pickled pepper packer program proposal protocol.

    Micheal rowed the boat ashore…

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 22 at 02:30 PM • permalink

  68. Shoot. I’ve seen Gangs of New York and Deliverance. I know all about you weirdos east of the rockies.

    And Fargo.  Ye gods, Fargo.

    Posted by Achillea on 2007 03 22 at 03:12 PM • permalink

  69. When the Texas Vast Right Wing Neoconservative Joooo Computer takes over the internet, we’ll have to commit our blogs and comments to memory to preserve them for future generations.

    Posted by Alan K. Henderson on 2007 03 22 at 03:41 PM • permalink

  70. I have learned never to trust people that use the non-word ‘alot’...

    Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 03 22 at 04:24 PM • permalink

  71. Will somebody just tell me where all the internet pornography girls are? Texas or Brussels, dammit!?

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 03 22 at 04:55 PM • permalink

  72. References to the Forbin Project and Demon Seed - yep, this is my kind of place. 

    I’ve heard that HAL 9000 was initially involved in this, but unfortunately had to be shut down due to a rather nasty bug.  Sad, really.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 03 22 at 05:25 PM • permalink

  73. As a psychiatrist I don’t mind saying that this is a typical delusion often seen in schizophrenia. It is very sad that status is given to someone who obviously needs to be medicated.

    Posted by captain on 2007 03 22 at 05:42 PM • permalink

  74. solid reports it is in texas

    then next paragraph:

    solid reports it is in brussels

    or was that 1 of you jokers?

    I’m about to do a solid report and flush it away - I hope the internet doesn’t crash!

    What was funny recently was a gathering of about 600 people in Brisbane - some guys wore T-shirts:

    “It’s OK, I’m from the INTERNETS”

    many dressed in black with blood smattered over them - the weird looks people gave them were classic.

    Posted by peter m on 2007 03 22 at 06:14 PM • permalink

  75. #37 Mike_W “...the
    Royal Family being ‘bloodsucking alien lizards’.”

    Naw, all the alien lizards reside in the secret underground caverns (Sudden thought:  Ever hear of a secret overground cavern?  Hah! Didn’t think so!) beneath the Denver International Airport.

    Thought everybody knew that!

    Posted by Old Grouch on 2007 03 22 at 06:18 PM • permalink

  76. Wow!  That’s very much the same garbage that churches like Paradise Community Church and Hillsong have been shovelling at their customers since who knows when.  Some of them have bought the nonsense that 9/11 was an inside job and/or a Jewish conspiracy. 

    It’s not just the people who gather around the Greens who believe this - it’s the Family First crowd too.  Praise the Lord and pass the bong!

    Posted by ellen on 2007 03 22 at 06:27 PM • permalink

  77. #36

    What about the ones that run in front of your car?

    Or ambush you in the carpark?

    Posted by kae on 2007 03 22 at 06:34 PM • permalink

  78. Pickle/pepper packing people prefer PACOs pharmacologically proven pviagra.

    If you wanna pack your pickle pick PACOs.

    *****

    These people are most definitely crazy.

    Posted by kae on 2007 03 22 at 06:48 PM • permalink

  79. sigh…I miss the Freemasons…remeber when they used to control EVERYTHING?

    Now, just yesterdays men…(puts away secret skull ring and “101 recipies for goat”).

    Posted by anonymous guest on 2007 03 22 at 08:03 PM • permalink

  80. Aha! This is why Texas Bob is always late to threads - he’s out controlling the internet.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 03 22 at 08:21 PM • permalink

  81. #21 - so that is the secret of Tom Boonen!!

    Posted by Razor on 2007 03 22 at 08:56 PM • permalink

  82. #79 - my dad was a Freemason - used to head off to Lodge on a Monday night with his Dinner Suit on and apron in his case.

    They were supposed to be running everything yet I got bugger all!!  What happened??  Did the Joooooos do a leveraged buyout??

    But the my Great Grandmother was a Jew and we still got nothing nix nill zip nadda jack shit.

    This ain’t fair!!  Someone has got my share of the power and I want it back!

    Posted by Razor on 2007 03 22 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  83. #79, 82 Razor

    My father, both grandfathers and my mother’s mum were ALL masons. And an ex-boyfriend.

    What went WRONG?

    Posted by kae on 2007 03 22 at 09:20 PM • permalink

  84. I have it on a trusted source the computer is located in Werribee.  For the simple reason no one would suspect it being there.  But at the moment the hard drive is full of Werribee DVD porn.  We’ll let the relevant people (i.e. not you guys) know when the backups have been restored.  Erase this message now, you never heard this.

    Posted by Dan__W on 2007 03 22 at 09:30 PM • permalink

  85. #81 Razor

    #21 murph

    I read that the Flemish people of Belgium didn’t exist before WW2 but that the SS and the French collaborators got together and started a breeding program in southern Belgium to produce a super-race of people. They call them the Flemish people after the strange hybrid language they spoke (some had a german father/mother with a french mother/father etc).

    To this day I don’t trust anyone from Belgium or even northern France/north-western Germany. It’s just too dangerous and you never know if they are Flemish and just not showing it to you…

    ...so that is the secret of Tom Boonen!!

    Tom Boonen? Hell, that explains Eddy Merckx! Good gawd, he IS Superman!

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 03 22 at 09:37 PM • permalink

  86. Forbin Project? HAL 9000? Deep Thought?

    Feh.

    The truth is that P-1’s finally out of adolescence.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 03 22 at 09:38 PM • permalink

  87. Futility is irresistible
    Your arse will be laminated ...

    Posted by BIWOZ on 2007 03 23 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  88. Spiny - you are not wrong there.  Lance was great, but Merckx is probably the greatest ever.  What didn’t he win?

    Posted by Razor on 2007 03 23 at 01:43 AM • permalink

  89. kae - I believe I have discovered my victimhood on which I can rest all blame for the ills that beset me - loving wife, healthy kids, great business . . .

    Posted by Razor on 2007 03 23 at 01:45 AM • permalink

  90. Razor, I have red hair. I think that’s the jinx.

    Posted by kae on 2007 03 23 at 01:49 AM • permalink

  91. Hmmmm.  I smell a business opportunity supplying the incredibly scarce bold tags to the Texas supercomputer.  Let’s see - couple of bold tags per page X whole stored internet .... why, they’ll need hundreds!

    TFK

    Posted by TFK on 2007 03 23 at 08:35 AM • permalink

  92. I knew my wife was an extraterrestrial, but I didn’t realize my employers were also.

    I for one appreciate the check every two weeks from our insect overlords.

    Thanx for the info.

    Posted by trainer on 2007 03 23 at 09:57 AM • permalink

  93. #88

    #6 and #7.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 23 at 01:11 PM • permalink

  94. I couldn’t fault either choice.

    For what it is worth(and probably not much), I adopt the Bum Phillips method.

    They once asked him if his running back(Earl Campbell) was the best ever.  He responded with;  “I don’t know, all I know is it wouldn’t take long to call the roll.”  (even though I put it in quotes it is not direct but just from recollection)

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 03 23 at 01:16 PM • permalink

  95. And if that’s not scary enough what about this! GSM Locate You’re not safe anywhere.

    Posted by dodgybob on 2007 03 23 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  96. *strolls in wearing a black suit and a fedora*

    Thees ees a very nice planet, Meester Indymedia Peoples. It would be a shame for sometheeng to happen to thees nice planet you have here . . .

    Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 03 23 at 10:23 PM • permalink

  97. Tungsten Monk: D’oh! You’re supposed to use the neuralyzer on them, fool!

    Posted by Patrick Chester on 2007 03 23 at 11:37 PM • permalink

  98. This conspiracy stuff is a hoot! :)

    Everyone knows that the property rights to the planet were traded way to a consortium of intergalactic development companies by a man in May of 1953.

    This man, only known as Pedro, living, presumably in northern Spain, agreed to give up ownership of the earth for 2lbs of stinky cheese and a loaf of day old bread. Unfortunately, according to intergalactic property law, any member of any planet’s population can barter on behalf of the rest of the planet’s population, if he signs ISXF form 3249-w. This form was signed by this Pedro.

    Also, unknown to most folk, rights to our genetic material were bartered away 1 year ago by a guy that shall remain nameless, for a really cool new computer and a copy of Civ 4.

    Sorry, but I really wanted to play Civ 4 and my old comp couldn’t really handle the graphics.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 03 24 at 12:19 AM • permalink

  99. One of the few lucid comments:

    It is impossible for this much concentrated stupidity to actually be real.

    Therefore, I have to assume that 90% of the commenters here are just yanking our collective dick, or that those same 90% are dumber than a bag of shit-encrusted gerbil hair.

    Please, for the love of humanity itself, let it be the first.

    Posted by Patton on 2007 03 24 at 03:37 AM • permalink

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