<< CONSENSUS LESS CONSENSY ~ MAIN ~ BIG RAIN >>

THE BLAIR FRIDGE PROJECT

Enough of global warming - let’s hear it for local cooling! Email your most personal and intimate refrigerator images for a Cooling Gallery to be posted next week. Here’s mine, featuring pre-liberation Iraqi currency, a postcard from Guantanamo Bay, a can of wine, something called “Shito”, Campbell’s tins by Barney Greinke, and Danny Dolphin (“Julian O’Neill’s Latest Victim”):

image

UPDATE. A fine batch of hot reader fridges has already arrived; keep ‘em coming. Also, enjoy the very latest Detective Paco mystery.

Posted by Tim B. on 06/07/2007 at 11:54 AM
  1. Is Shito the Japanese equivalent of Shinola?

    Posted by Attmay on 2007 06 07 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  2. No. No.  It’s a subsidiary of Big Oil.

    Bushito.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 07 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  3. In Uzbekistan you can buy washing-powder called Barf.

    Do I win any money?

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 06 07 at 12:37 PM • permalink

  4. Well deny all you want Blairbots but I have living proof.

    A very young Yojimbo called that puppy an “icebox”.  Now it is simply a “REfrigerator”.  That term is probably waaay too ancient for most of you here but it is true.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 07 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  5. Crème of placenta soup, I’m not so sure… but the toad bisque gets me high!

    Jaggers! This is a radio-receptive stack of metal and electronic goods tall enough to be Sydney’s other tower. How can ordinary suburban folk with their lousy three-door, plastic-faced stainless steel-handled, kitchen-eating leviathan fridges compete with this kind of thing?

    Magnets just don’t stick!

    I blame it on Lileks.

    Posted by splice on 2007 06 07 at 12:50 PM • permalink

  6. #5:
    “This is a radio-receptive stack of metal and electronic goods tall enough to be Sydney’s other tower”

    Yeah you ought to be careful. People (of no appearance whatsoever) will be flying planes into it..

    Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 06 07 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  7. #6: That’s all about nihilistic envy built into a religion, Tea’n’Brit. Forget fridges, mate, they wanna bust us back to a camel dung economy even as they sell us barrels of oil.

    Back on topic, I’ve got an Esky half empty full of beer here, does that count? Where’s my camera…

    Posted by splice on 2007 06 07 at 01:15 PM • permalink

  8. You gots a FIAT fridge?  How quick does it do 0 to 100?

    Yak makes me yak, btb.

    #7:  You’re not working hard enough here, Splice.  Add more beer to Esky.  Pour.  Drink.  Repeat.

    Posted by SSG Pooh on 2007 06 07 at 02:26 PM • permalink

  9. Great, Tim. Now I have fridge envy to add to all my other inferiority complexes… My fridge isn’t NEARLY that interesting! I do have a fair collection of pharmaceutical magnets, though.

    Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 06 07 at 02:44 PM • permalink

  10. SSG Pooh......why pour?  That’s an extra step.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 07 at 02:46 PM • permalink

  11. Wine. In a can?

    *blink*

    No, I just don’t have anything to say to that.

    Posted by Sigivald on 2007 06 07 at 02:46 PM • permalink

  12. Ah, all the earmarks of an open thread! Time for a Detective Paco story. A long one, I’m afraid – will probably have to be broken up into four or five installments – for which I apologize in advance to Andrea and to all who find these stories to be a blown out truck tire on the comment highway. In mitigation of this offense, I offer the following:

    1) It casts Wronwright in the heroic mold for which God always intended him;
    2) It features a real-life historical figure, not too well-known today, but famous (or rather notorious) in his era;
    3) It’s the last story for awhile, because things are getting too busy at the office; AND
    4) It predicts who the next President is going to be

    For you Detective Paco fans (if you’re both still out there), I hope you enjoy it.

    Part I

    Wronwright had asked me to take a trip with him, so here I sat in the lobby of the Hotel Pennsylvania in New York, scanning the sports section of the New York Times. Joe Dimaggio was off to a great start, and there was a piece about the first televised baseball game in history, which had occurred a few weeks earlier. Oh, by the way, perhaps I forgot to mention it: the day was June 10th, 1939.

    You see, Wronwright had asked me to take a spin in the Tardis with him in order to stop by the mead stills in ancient Sumer. He wanted me to check out a problem he was having with “inventory shrinkage”, maybe try to tighten up security. Unfortunately, the gizmo on the Tardis that I took for the cigarette lighter turned out to be the chronologizer, and when I plucked it out of the dashboard, the Tardis came to a screeching halt in Central Park on the date noted.

    My ears were ringing from a long and detailed lecture delivered by my captain on the importance of following safety rules while engaged in time travel, and an expansive digression on the subject of “Tardis repairs, difficulty of”, when I noticed that it was getting a bit warm in the cabin. “Ok, Wronwright, ok. Next time, advertise for ‘Detective, Non-Smoker, Interested in Long Walks through the Time Warp, Object: More Efficient Bootlegging.’ Oh, you’ll get calls, all right, but probably not from private dicks; it’ll be loony doctors looking for volunteers to participate in their sleep deprivation experiments or for human guinea pigs to try out some new schizophrenia drug.”

    “Well, we can’t just sit here. I’m going to need to find some copper wire and new contact points if we ever expect to get back. Can you see where we are?” I looked out the porthole, and it was obvious that we had landed in a particularly lush portion of Central Park, well away from the pedestrian paths.

    I was good to go: with a fedora and double-breasted suit, I could walk down the street and no questions asked. Wronwright, however, was going to need some work: no hat, Reebok Pump basketball shoes, and a t-shirt from the 2006 Ohio Beef Expo. “Mister, the first thing we’ve got to do is get you outfitted.”

    “What do you mean?”

    “This is 1939. You can’t go walking around in that get-up. Let’s go see if we can find a second hand clothes store. By the way, what are we going to use for money? We can’t flash the lettuce we’re carrying.”

    Wronwright got up from his seat and retrieved a large strongbox from the recesses of the Tardis. He opened it and I whistled at the extent of his treasure trove. The box apparently contained every form of money coined by man throughout history. There were dollars and Mexican pesos and drachmas and stacks of ancient Roman coins, just for starters. Wronwright fished around, found a bundle of notes from the late-30’s, and peeled off a couple of hundred bucks. Something particularly interesting caught my attention and I plucked it out of the box..

    “Wronwright; this stack of fifty-dollar bills.”

    “What about ‘em?”

    “They’ve got Hillary Clinton’s picture on them.”

    Wronwright shuddered, snatched the bundle of currency from me and threw it back in the box. “I’ve taken the Tardis into the future a few times, too, Paco. There are parts of it that ain’t pretty. Let’s go.” We opened the hatch and peered into this strange new world.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 07 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  13. Part II

    We walked and we walked, amazed by the sights and sounds of Packard taxi cabs, cops swinging billy-clubs, and gals with masses of hair supporting delicate-looking summer hats, their gams wrapped in silk stockings with seams up the back. We finally washed up in front of the Hotel Pennsylvania. Just down the street was a sign: “Smilin’ Sam’s Second-Hand Suits: Better Than New”.  I suggested that Wronwright venture into the haberdashery, while I went into the Hotel Pennsylvania, sat on a couch in the lobby, and picked up the day’s edition of the Times which somebody had left lying around.

    A half hour later, Wronwright stepped into the hotel lobby, looked around nervously, spotted me, and made a beeline toward where I was parked. “So, Paco, what do you think?”

    What did I think? At first, I thought he was nuts, then I had to admit that he had probably been put upon. He was wearing an elaborate chocolate-brown fedora with a four-inch brim and a turkey feather sticking out of a bright gold hat band. His jacket had a brown and beige checkered pattern and hung down nearly to his calves, and the pants ballooned above the knees, and then tapered to a tight fit at the ankles. It was Wronwright, sure, but Wronwright in an explosion of zoot suit glory. He might have been Cab Calloway’s understudy.

    “What? What’s wrong?”

    I guess I must have been smiling; I know some of the hotel guests were. “Wronwright, you look like a Harlem hep cat bound for the Savoy to participate in a jitterbug contest. The ensemble’s a little flashy for walking around Manhatten in the daylight.”

    He looked crestfallen; even his turkey feather drooped. “I kinda stand out, huh?”

    “Like a peacock in a chicken coop. Come on. We’ll go see Smilin’ Sam and make an exchange.”

    We got Wronwright sorted out – he now looked like a reasonably honest clerk in the city waterworks department – and went back to the Hotel Pennsylvania to make our plans. We were seated on a couch facing the revolving doors. Suddenly, a tall man dressed in a blue suit and a gray homburg lurched through the doors; he glanced in near-panic to left and right, and then walked quickly to the main desk. From where I was sitting, I could hear the brief exchange between the man and the desk clerk perfectly. I looked furtively over my shoulder and could see the two, as well.

    The desk clerk greeted the nervous guy with his official hotel smile. “Good morning, Mr. White.”

    White muttered, “I’d like the key to my room, please. And I’m not in, ok? I’m not in? Not for nobody!”

    “Certainly, Mr. White. Here you are; #315”

    White grabbed his key and made for the elevators. A curious little episode, but I didn’t think much of it – until a couple of minutes later.

    Have you ever gone almost seven decades back in time and seen somebody you recognized? No, of course you haven’t. But I have, and I can tell you that the feeling is nothing less than electrifying. A short, slightly overweight man in his early forties, nattily attired, and equipped with jug ears and full lips, pushed his way through the revolving doors and walked slowly toward the desk, his snap-brim hat pulled down low. An otherwise unprepossessing character – except for the fact that he had eyes that were colder and more soulless than a shark’s.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 07 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  14. Part III

    Wronwright was buzzing in my ear like a thirsty mosquito. “I guess a hardware store would have the copper wire. Now, the contact points . . .”

    Whispering loudly out of the side of my mouth, I cut him off. “Pssst! Wronwright! You see that mug?”

    Wronwright gave a theatrical sigh. “Dammit, Paco, if I’ve heard your George Raft impersonation once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. You haven’t been listening to me at all, have you?”

    “Just keep quiet and look at that guy, will you?”

    “Who? That man, there? The one who looks like a pint-sized Jack Klugman?”

    “Yeah. You know who it is?”

    “No, my circle of acquaintances from 1939 is pretty small.”

    “Then let me make you hep to the jive, my friend. That’s Louis ‘Lepke’ Buchalter!”

    “Who?”

    “Louis Buchalter, Chairman of Murder, Inc.; he was one of the most brutal paid killers of the 1930’s. He’s suspected of having been involved in over a hundred murders, many of which he carried out personally.” Wronwright’s eyes rounded and his lips twisted and his adam’s apple bobbed a couple of times; he looked like an owl that had just swallowed a piece of poisoned rabbit.

    We both watched as Lepke ambled over to the desk. He asked in a low voice, “Is White in?” The desk clerk – hotel smile forgotten – nodded twice. The clerk seemed to have forgotten White’s instructions pretty fast, too.

    “Wronwright! Buchalter’s here to knock off White!”

    “W-w-what? Who? Who’s White?”

    “The nervous guy who ran in here a minute ago and left specific instructions with the desk clerk that he wasn’t in for anybody. The hotel flunky just gave White away without a by-your-leave.” I furtively felt inside my suit jacket to make sure I had Shiny Sal, my stainless steel .38 cal. Ruger Police Service –Six revolver. “Let’s see. According to the historical record, Buchalter’s not going to be taken into custody by the Feds for another couple of months; that’s plenty of time for him to get in a few more kills. Man, what a great pinch this is going to be!”

    Wronwright grabbed my arm. “Paco, are you nuts? You can’t arrest that gangster! You’re not even supposed to be here, remember?”

    “But I am here, Wronwright. Have you any idea of the kind of professional satisfaction a private detective would get from nabbing the head of Murder, Inc.?”

    Wronwright spoke quietly, but very much to the point. “Paco, listen to me. Carefully. If you grab that guy and march him into a police station, how are we going to explain who we are? The best we could hope for is a long series of unpleasant interviews, first with the cops and then with a psychiatrist.  That’s in the first place. In the second place, you’ve got to be very careful about disturbing the space/time continuum. Remember that story of Ray Bradbury’s? I don’t recollect all the details – dinosaurs figured into it, and there was something about a squashed butterfly – but the point is, anything we do now could upset the future in ways we can’t predict.”

    I had to admit that he was right. I could see the headlines now: “Mobster Captured by Two Lunatics; Mayor La Guardia Expresses Thanks, Commits Heroes to Asylum.” Still, I couldn’t live with myself if I let Buchalter kill the man.

    “Ok, Wronwright. I won’t take him in. But even though I don’t know Mr. White, I know he doesn’t deserve to die at the hands of that assassin. I’ve got to stop the hit, at least. Just sit tight.”

    Wronwright heaved another sigh; he was the personification of Misgivings. “I know I’m going to regret this, but I’ll play along. What can I do to help?”

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 07 at 03:18 PM • permalink

  15. Part IV

    I glanced quickly around the lobby. Buchalter had stopped at the news stand to buy a cigar. Good: we had a few minutes. I saw a bellhop disappear around the corner; seemed to be about Wronwright’s size. “Follow me.”

    We stepped around the corner, too, and I got the bellhop’s attention. I gave him a knowing smile. “Say, bub, where does a man go to find a good time in this town?”

    The bellhop – a wizened, sardonic-looking man, bent over from years of hauling grips and steamer trunks – gave me a wry grin. “Oh, there’s lots of places, Mister. And lot’s of ways to have a good time”

    I maneuvered him over to a row of phone booths; all of them providentially empty at the moment. “Me and my friend, here, are looking for some female companionship, if you know what I mean?” I gave him a lewd wink. Wronwright tried a wink, too, but it came off as a nervous tic.

    The bellhop took out a notebook, scribbled a telephone number on a sheet of paper, tore it out and handed it to me. I smiled, thanked him, and then one-punched him into unconsciousness with a sock on the chin. Wronwright caught him. I pulled off his jacket and cap and handed them to Wronwright. “Here, put these on.” Then we stuffed the bellhop into a phone booth. I asked Wronwright for one of his ten-spots and pushed it into the bellhop’s pants pocket. I owed him that much.

    We hurried back to the lobby. Buchalter was gone. “Quick!”, I said. “Let’s run up the stairs. Room 315’s our destination.”

    We burst out of the stairwell on the third floor and found the room. Wronwright knocked on the door and called out, “Letter for Mr. White!”

    A nervous voice muttered, “Slide it under the door.”

    Wronwright, thinking quickly, said, “It’s a registered letter, sir. You have to sign for it.” I whispered to Wronwright, “Tell him it’s from the District Attorney’s office; that ought to pique Lepke’s interest.”

    Wronwright conveyed the message, and a moment later the door was opened, revealing the terrified face of Mr. White. I grabbed him by the lapels, yanked him into the hall, and pulled the door shut. Flinging him into Wronwright’s arms, I said, “Get him down to the lobby and stash him behind a potted palm or something.” Wronwright complied, and I was left alone with only a flimsy hotel door standing between me and the most ruthless hired gun of the era.

    I licked my lips, held my roscoe at the ready, and stood to one side of the door. It was like having a tiger by the tail: how do you let go?

    “Lepke!”, I shouted. “If that door opens without my say-so, I’m going to start shooting, and I’m not going to stop ‘til I’m out of lead!”

    An angry voice came from beyond the door. “Who are you?”

    “I’m not the law, if that’s what you’re worried about; just a friend of Mr. White.”

    “What was that business about a letter from the DA?”

    “Just a dodge so you’d let White open the door.” I looked at my watch; Wronwright should have had time to get White out of harm’s way by now. “Lepke! I’ll tell you how it’s going to be. You count to a hundred – slowly – then you’re free to walk out anytime you like. But I’ve got some advice for you. A few years from now, you’ll find yourself being escorted by the warden down a long hall, and at the end of the hall, there’s a room. In the room you’re going to see a big chair. My advice is this: when the warden asks you to have a seat, don’t sit down.” Unless I’d messed up the time thing Wronwright had been talking about, Buchalter had a date with the electric chair in 1944 – the only mobster boss, in fact, ever to be executed (legally, anyhow).

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 07 at 03:19 PM • permalink

  16. Epilogue

    I ran back downstairs. I didn’t see Wronwright or his new friend. I sat down and studied my nails, like a guy who was just killing time. A few minutes later, Buchalter stepped briskly out of the elevator, slowing down just long enough to give the baffled but very white-faced desk clerk a threatening look. Then he was through the door and out on the street. Gone from my life, and soon to be gone from this world.

    A few minutes later, Wronwright walked into the hotel lobby. “I got White out through a back entrance. He jumped into a cab and hightailed it.”

    “Did you find out why Buchalter was after him?”

    “That I did. It seems that White is an officer in the garment workers union. He’s been trying to put together a reform group to drive out the mob, and he’s been co-operating with the DA. The famous one, by the way: Thomas Dewey. The mob took offense and, well, you can guess the rest. White must’ve figured we were with Dewey’s office; he didn’t ask any questions, just seemed very relieved. Now can we go and find a hardware store?”

    We located a hardware store, and Wronwright not only found his copper wire, but a set of replacement points for a 1938 Studebaker that he discovered, to his astonishment, were identical to the original points used in the Tardis’ chronologizer. We went back to Central Park, sneaked into the trees where the Tardis still lay hidden, and climbed aboard.

    Wronwright turned the engine over, and while it was warming up, put the 1930’s money back in the strongbox. Even though we were on our way home, I could see that he was worried. “Paco, I really hope we haven’t created some kind of dangerous ripple effect in history.”

    He was getting ready to close the box when something caught my eye and I snatched out that bundle of fifties that I had examined earlier in the day. A smile crossed my face, and I handed the currency to Wronwright. “I think we may have rearranged things just a little, Wron, and for the better.”

    He examined the stack of fifties, and began to laugh. Each bill now featured a picture of Fred Thompson.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 07 at 03:20 PM • permalink

  17. Funniest thing I’ve looked at in a long while Blair. Watch your micro setting though, you could wind up with Placenta all over hell.

    Damn you, Paco. If you don’t start writing for profit, the Board of Directors at Paco Enterprises, Inc., could give you a vote of no confidence.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 03:44 PM • permalink

  18. OT

    Poor sad thing…

    Citing ‘Medical’ Reasons, Sheriff Sends Paris Hilton Home to Finish Sentence

    Guess one could surmise, that Paris, blew the joints.

    Fox News

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 03:59 PM • permalink

  19. Pacosan

    Are you sayin that Wronwright Is or simply looks like June Allyson?

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 07 at 04:04 PM • permalink

  20. Just don’t do a runner on us like last time, detective.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 06 07 at 04:07 PM • permalink

  21. Gosh, it never passed my mind until now. In reference to my OT post #18, the headline about Paris could mean…

    See Dick and____,or Run Spot____,or Jack and____.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  22. OH, my terrible manners...anyone for a Dirty Vodka, Martini? The martini whistle went off not to long ago, here.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 04:45 PM • permalink

  23. Oh, Shito, isn’t that a religion?

    Oh wait…

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 04:46 PM • permalink

  24. tap, tap tap...test. Is this thing on?

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 04:52 PM • permalink

  25. Oh well, I’m off to make a linguine alfredo and just for Paris, some Italian sausage as a side and a salad with shito.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 04:59 PM • permalink

  26. The money wouldn’t have changed, anymore than Paco and Wron would. Although the time-line which produced the Hildebeest bills was negated/revised/destroyed (take your pick), the bills themselves were not IN that time-line when it went *pop* and vanished like a fever dream.

    Just as Paco and Wron were in yet ANOTHER time-line, since the Law of Temporal Conservation does not allow you to modify (or even enter) your own past. You could have popped Buchalter six ways from Sunday and not changed a thing in your own reality, simply created another variation in the Multiverse.

    Nice story up till then, though.

    Posted by mojo on 2007 06 07 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  27. #11 Sigivald (way back up there)
    I’m with you. “Can of beer”? What IS that? What the hell IS that?

    Posted by m on 2007 06 07 at 05:29 PM • permalink

  28. Oops: “Can of wine”. . . .

    Posted by m on 2007 06 07 at 05:30 PM • permalink

  29. Pay mojo no heed, Paco.
    You completely suspended my disbelief.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 06 07 at 05:38 PM • permalink

  30. A David magnet?  Dude’s a fan!  Fine art, that. 

    Crickets and beans?  I knew that’s what I was eating when I visited Perth that time.  Crickets and beans.  Crickets and beans.  Damn!  That’s funny!

    Posted by reese on 2007 06 07 at 05:53 PM • permalink

  31. Don’t be a tease Tim, show us inside your fridge!

    Posted by Rafe on 2007 06 07 at 05:58 PM • permalink

  32. LOVED the story, Detective, especially the ending, and I don’t care which universe it is as long as it’s the same one I’m in.  And please, don’t let anything as trivial as work keep you away.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 07 at 05:59 PM • permalink

  33. Trust Tim to show us the most boring appliance in the world for everybody but him, and then ask us to send photos.  Unless, of course, the request can include any other interesting thing.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 07 at 06:02 PM • permalink

  34. I’m disappointed.  At the very least I expected to see a cat in Tim’s microwave....

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 06 07 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  35. I’m disappointed.  At the very least I expected to see a cat in Tim’s microwave....
    Posted by Kaboom

    When someone (unintentionally?) uses their nick in this way, I gotta laugh ...

    Posted by peter m on 2007 06 07 at 06:23 PM • permalink

  36. . Tim, my email it’s true.
    Is tim gay there’s a naked statue of a man on his fridge? He must be.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 06 07 at 06:45 PM • permalink

  37. How does canned wine stack up against boxed wine?  Inquiring minds want to know.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 07 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  38. M E M O R A N D U M
    From: VRWC Management
    To: Mr. Paco
    Re: Executive Concerns

    Dear Mr. Paco,

    While your numerous contributions to the VRWC are greatly appreciated, lately a number of members of the Senior Management team have expressed concern regarding some of your operations.  Specifically, we feel that some operations in the Powered Aircraft for Clandestine Operations division of Paco Industries present a risk of exposure that could endanger a significant portion of VRWC operations. 

    While we recognize the need for front companies designed to allow commercial operations while maintaining secrecy, there are some significant risk factors.  For the most part, the front company established for this particular division of Paco Industries does a lot of things well (We have to admit that the sale of ridiculously overpriced ice cream makers is a particularly ingenious touch,) there is one major problem here.  See if you can spot it.

    Sincerely,
    VRWC Management

    Posted by Vexorg on 2007 06 07 at 07:42 PM • permalink

  39. I have had about 6 weeks of being so far out of my comfort zone that it was like being on another planet. Short term memory is shot, nerves are shot, sleeping well is wishful thinking. I haven’t been able to read here every day for so long...it’s like being sick! But, the wedding went off without a hitch, the kids are safe in my spare room, my mum is on her way back to Colorado...& just as I think I have nothing left to do, Detective Paco comes along, makes me smile, entertains me...& reassures me that things are working ok in my world after all.

    Thank you, Sir. You have saved what little sanity I had left.

    Posted by KC on 2007 06 07 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  40. O/T:
    Keating turns on Rudd team:
    ... won’t get out of bed in the morning unless they’ve had a focus group report to tell them which side of bed to get out.

    The KRudder in a nutshell and exactly why he can’t respond to unfolding issues in real time ...

    Also:
    Rudd gaffes over Afghanistan troups (c/- FranKelly, who doesn’t give a damned link)

    Therese might get to keep the biz? :)

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 07:57 PM • permalink

  41. Ok Tim,

    I’ll see your can of Shito, and raise you one“improved" bag of Shito Mix.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 07 at 08:26 PM • permalink

  42. #41
    If it’s crap, someone might Shitsu.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 08:35 PM • permalink

  43. #37

    Depends on the type of wine and the micro-climate of its origins, but generally, once you get the taste for aluminium, it’s difficult to go back.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 06 07 at 08:38 PM • permalink

  44. So, Tim, are the full cans, or empty cans?

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 07 at 08:58 PM • permalink

  45. Is that where Osama’s bin Hidin’?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 08:59 PM • permalink

  46. The new Geothermia underground hideout Buick-sized fridge magnate?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 09:04 PM • permalink

  47. #41
    A new label from effluent Werribee?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 09:08 PM • permalink

  48. It’s amazing what people will stick in cans.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 06 07 at 09:09 PM • permalink

  49. #43
    Aluvinium ... mmm ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 09:10 PM • permalink

  50. Dude, there’s a wang hangin’ on your fridge.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 06 07 at 09:15 PM • permalink

  51. #40

    Ahhhhh Keating. He is the gift that just keeps on giving where the government is concerned. Now Gillard has come out and hit back saying he is confused about the new proposals. Old Paul cannot possibly resist the urge to return fire on that one. Talk about own goal hahahaha! Keep it up Paul - every time you open that yappa the government gains a point in the polls. Fun fun fun!

    Posted by rbresca on 2007 06 07 at 09:17 PM • permalink

  52. I just looked at my fridge to see if it’s interesting enough for a picture. It’s fascinating, if you’re into dentist appointments, expired coupons for chain restaurants, and a shopping list that contains such exotica as “ham” and “mayo.”

    Tim has convinced me that the fridge door is a palette, and a window to the soul. I will forthwith treat it as such.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2007 06 07 at 09:20 PM • permalink

  53. #48 Dan L.

    Hmmm… Artist’s Shit, 30 gr net, Freshly preserved, produced and tinned in May 1961.

    Hey!  I was produced in May 1961!  I don’t believe that I was tinned, though.

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 06 07 at 09:23 PM • permalink

  54. #42 If it’s crap, someone might Shitsu.

    The neighbor lady has one of those.  Yappy little critter.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 07 at 09:40 PM • permalink

  55. Wot! No canned cat meat?

    Is that how Noah crammed all of the animals into the Ark?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 10:09 PM • permalink

  56. OT Bolta on The Catch Up!

    Awaiting exploding heads.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 07 at 10:10 PM • permalink

  57. #56,

    Gore has already been accusing him of bias against the mussies.

    Simply because he mentioned that English hotels don’t have english speaking help.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 07 at 10:17 PM • permalink

  58. I know. Train wreck telly.

    Bolta: Isn’t it good that we have the lowest unemployment for yonks. (paraphrasing)

    Gore: But are these employed people happy?

    Where’s my titanium cluebat?

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 07 at 10:20 PM • permalink

  59. #58 now it’s the government’s job to make people happy. Oh my Lord. I need a nice steaming bowl of cream-of-placenta soup

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 06 07 at 10:33 PM • permalink

  60. #50 Dude, that wang is the size of a neutrino. And you managed to spot it? Took you how long?

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 06 07 at 10:35 PM • permalink

  61. OT - Looks like Newcastle is about to get a new tourist attraction.

    Posted by craigo on 2007 06 07 at 10:37 PM • permalink

  62. #54 If it’s crap, someone might Shitsu.

    The neighbor lady has one of those.  Yappy little critter.

    Yeah. Makes good soup.

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 06 07 at 10:38 PM • permalink

  63. I’d send mine in but I only just recently moved in here and haven’t had a chance to “decorate” the fridge yet. So it’s totally boring right now.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 06 07 at 10:43 PM • permalink

  64. #63,

    Andrea, send it anyway. We can use it as a “before”.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 07 at 10:52 PM • permalink

  65. #62
    Shitsu Miso?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 10:55 PM • permalink

  66. #65,

    gezundheit!!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 07 at 10:59 PM • permalink

  67. #57
    Libby Gore (aka Elle MacFeast) ... another Goreacle meeja whore ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 11:11 PM • permalink

  68. #58
    The Catch Up! ... Train Wreck Telly

    How about: The Cluck Up!

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 11:26 PM • permalink

  69. #68,

    Do you think one of them will lay an egg_ ?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 07 at 11:28 PM • permalink

  70. My fridge is terribly boring as well. My Mrs. has a tendency to make sure everything is off the fridge.

    She especially took down the one, where I had cut and pasted letters from magazines, to glue together a threatening note.

    At the same time, while not a train wreck on the inside, she’s one of these persons that will have several of the same items opened at the same god damn time, for instance, coffee creamers, or packets of butter or margarine, or milk...Shit better get to work on another cut and paste note, ONLY this time, I shall put it on the inside of the fridge.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 11:34 PM • permalink

  71. #69
    They prolly have fowl minds ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 11:34 PM • permalink

  72. If someone, and you know who you are, is or will read this soon, all is fine and heading in the proper direction. Damn I almost said erection. Which of course has zero to do with a fridge.

    Actually nothing I’ve said in my posts today, save a brief in my last one, has a god damn thing to do with fridges.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 07 at 11:40 PM • permalink

  73. Bye.

    Posted by 1.618 on 2007 06 07 at 11:44 PM • permalink

  74. #71,

    Nah egg_

    that’s just the Bird Flu talking.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 07 at 11:45 PM • permalink

  75. Wonder if the Goreacle has heard of the new diet program;

    A Fridge Too Far.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 07 at 11:49 PM • permalink

  76. #74
    One cuckoo flu over the rest?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 07 at 11:54 PM • permalink

  77. #75 No, but I bet he’s seen that wonder of oriental technology, the Fridge Over the River Kwai

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 06 07 at 11:59 PM • permalink

  78. Not to be confused with that great Antarctic surfing movie, Fridget

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 06 08 at 12:00 AM • permalink

  79. #75
    The Goreacle has prolly slapped a turkey in the can before ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 08 at 12:02 AM • permalink

  80. #43 MM

    Ah, I see. “It’s a delightfully chipper young wine, with notes of cherry and plum, and a piquant metallic tang.”

    A friend of mine has an aunt who collects fridge magnets.  The woman must have thousands.  Every inch of her fridge is covered in the fool things, and she switches them out on a regular basis to keep things “interesting.” She also cleans them all every couple of weeks.  Yep, that’s exactly what I want to spend my spare time doing - dusting fridge magnets. 

    In OT news, some idiot law professor at Loyola University had this to say about poor little jailbird Paris Hilton: 

    "The time and resources needed to take care of a Paris Hilton are huge,” she said. “They have to make sure she is safe and her medical needs are attended to..."

    That explains her early release - Large Marge and Big Bertha must have been battling it out over her, and they were afraid she’d get torn apart in the process.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 08 at 12:10 AM • permalink

  81. #78
    Not to mention the epic about an Antarctic outhouse: Frigid Jones’ Diarrhea

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 08 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  82. Or the Clint Eastwood epic about the rescue of a bunch of med students in 1983 Grenada, “Heartbreak Fridge.”

    Posted by CraigC on 2007 06 08 at 12:20 AM • permalink

  83. There’s also that classic with Alec Guinness, Fridge over the River Kwai.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 12:31 AM • permalink

  84. Curses on you, JonathanH...:). 

    In that case...Clint again in, A Fridge to Far.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 12:34 AM • permalink

  85. rbresca—talk about gifts that keep on giving, Hillary just hired an ex-Federal Judge who was impeached and expelled from the bench for corruption as he campaign manager.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 08 at 12:35 AM • permalink

  86. For my money, there’s no greater documentary than Fridges of Madison County.  Who could forget the stunning footage of the large appliance department of Sears?  Or the heartbreaking scenes filmed in the back room of that run-down Salvation Army?  Art.  Sheer art.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 08 at 12:37 AM • permalink

  87. Timeline problems! The Ruger firearms company wasn’t established until 1949, so Detective Paco would be carrying a weapon from the future. And if you can carry modern weapons, why not a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range?

    Paco probably misread the label on the gun, and it’s really a Colt Police Positive Special.

    Your resident gun nut.

    Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2007 06 08 at 12:48 AM • permalink

  88. he he,

    this thread is getting really funny!!!

    Keep it up!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  89. #84,
    Hey El Cid,

    you owe me royalties!!

    cue #75

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 12:59 AM • permalink

  90. or that breakthrough stoner comedy “Fast Times at Fridgemont High”.

    I know. Lame.

    Posted by anonymous guest on 2007 06 08 at 01:02 AM • permalink

  91. As one might expect, the noble refrigerator is also represented in literature.  Who could ever forget An Occurrence at Owl Creek Fridge, Ambrose Bierce’s haunting tale of a man whose life flashes before his eyes as he opens the fridge and discovers that he’s out of beer?

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 08 at 01:10 AM • permalink

  92. In the Year of Darkness, 2029, the rulers of this planet devised the ultimate plan. They would reshape the Future by changing the Past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable. They created ‘THE KELVINATOR’

    A human-looking, apparently unstoppable cyborg known as the Goreacle is sent from the future to kill Sarah Connor; Tim Blair is sent to stop it.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 06 08 at 01:13 AM • permalink

  93. #92 I have one of them at home. So has my mum. Should we be concerned?

    O/T (if that’s possible)
    Has anyone else noticed that The Night Stalker is back on TV?
    I taped it the other night. Karl Kolchak never looked so babylike!

    Posted by kae on 2007 06 08 at 01:19 AM • permalink

  94. And who can ever forget that masterpiece “Terms of Infridgement”

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 08 at 01:21 AM • permalink

  95. #93 - Be very alarmed if it is holding power point presentations and consuming all foodstuffs in its vicinity.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 06 08 at 01:25 AM • permalink

  96. PBS is into another one of their Fridge Breaks.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 08 at 01:26 AM • permalink

  97. I think I have seen all of the Rnold Fridgeinator movies.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 08 at 01:31 AM • permalink

  98. #87: 40 watts? My car’s interior light is more lethal than that.

    Posted by Crusader-Rabbit on 2007 06 08 at 01:32 AM • permalink

  99. #89
    Ahem: donate ‘em to Andrea :)

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 08 at 01:33 AM • permalink

  100. O?T but the Kevinator has launched a stinging attack on Keating over his criticisms of him.

    Reads like the verbal version of being flogged by a bunch of tulips.

    “rolling colour and movement"

    The best bit is the red barrens defence of her policies.
    “"On what he was saying last night, it’s a bit confused. It’s not clear to me what he was saying.

    “The truth about Labor’s industrial relations system is it’s all about going forward.”

    And that bit of waffle is supposed to inspire confidence in her abilities as a communicator?

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 08 at 01:34 AM • permalink

  101. #83
    Guinness in a Fridge over the River Kwai ...

    Who’d’ve thunk?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 08 at 01:38 AM • permalink

  102. #100
    An icey response by the Kevinator.

    (Ref #40) a very delayed KRudder response, as usual: Gizzard beats him to the punch every time - Mr Spontaneity, pfffft!

    Proves Keating correct, yet again, f*cktard.

    JWH lapping up every minute of it.

    Keating! & Kevni - the musical comedy.
    When’s it coming out on DVD?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 08 at 02:00 AM • permalink

  103. #100 I would love to see Gillard and Keating go head to head - one of the heads wouldn’t be doing much talking haha! Keating is just so arrogant, he has no idea the damage he does when he makes an appearance and takes a shot at his old nemesis litte johnny. Of course people like Phillip Addams and the like get woodies but the rest of the population get out the crucifixes.

    Posted by rbresca on 2007 06 08 at 02:07 AM • permalink

  104. I have just learned that Burlington, VT, which is a leading center of Vermont moonbattery, is hosting a Naked Bike Ride (hell, no, it’s NSFW) this Saturday.  Pity I have to work - otherwise, I’d drive up there and take photos for our amusement.

    Naked bike riding - eeeew.

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 08 at 02:09 AM • permalink

  105. Paco/Wronwright! Sod the space/time continuum thing. Do what you have to do to keep Hillary off those notes. Oh, and to stop Julia from staging a palace coup and becoming PM in a year or so.

    The fridge at our house is covered with family photos. A window to the soul indeed as #52 observed.

    Posted by calliope on 2007 06 08 at 02:15 AM • permalink

  106. Er, Tim, where’s your “Let’s lookout for Australia” hotline fridge magnet?

    Posted by Brett_McS on 2007 06 08 at 02:26 AM • permalink

  107. #61 craigo, I’d normally go out and have a look at that, but it is pissing down outside.  Thanks for the info, though.  I don’t watch the news.

    Posted by Brett_McS on 2007 06 08 at 02:48 AM • permalink

  108. #104,

    Hey blue state,

    this guy has been doing it for years. And a lot more visually pleasing.

    Ugly Naked Green bike riders. Like you said eeewww.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 02:49 AM • permalink

  109. When you’re down and out.....when you’re on the street
    Open up my crisper, girl...eat my silverbeet
    I’m on your side....when times get rough
    and all your milk turns sour…
    Like a fridge over troubled water, I will lay me down
    Like a friiiiiiiidge over trouuuuubled waterrrrrrr......I will layyyyy meeee doooooooowwwwwwnnnnnnnnn.

    art garfunkel/off

    Posted by JonathanH on 2007 06 08 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  110. #4 - A very young Yojimbo called that puppy an “icebox”.  Now it is simply a “REfrigerator”.  That term is probably waaay too ancient for most of you here but it is true.

    Not me. I remember the iceman in his leather apron, hauling a block of ice off the back of his horse-drawn dray using giant tongs. Mind you, this was in rural Australia.  Really sophisticated families not on mains supply (usually on the 32 volt system) often had an Electrolux kerosene fridge. They were either too warm or froze everything, and a couple of times a year there’d be a newspaper report of one exploding and burning the farmhouse down, because the wife let the kero level drop too low.

    Of course, an icebox was really modern compared to a Coolgardie Safe.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 06 08 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  111. Who the fuck defrosted Keating......

    I told you all before that when you go to the FRIDGE make sure the door is closed and SEALED...0#%::@#!* idiots...#@***....RING RING ...Hello. yeah ..YES i know he is wandering around down at the ABC..what..Look just keep him busy,..What do you mean he waddled of to SBS...fuck a duck

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 06 08 at 03:22 AM • permalink

  112. Paco, you are one talented writer and should seriously consider doing so professionally. I’d stand in line to buy your first novel.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 08 at 04:12 AM • permalink

  113. Who the fuck defrosted Keating

    He wasn’t defrosted, he got washed of the Sydney Harbour Fridge in todays downpour.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 08 at 04:18 AM • permalink

  114. #111
    He was shallow-buried in a glacier during the last ice age, they’re blaming global warming but it was just seasonal melting ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 08 at 04:20 AM • permalink

  115. Paco, you are one talented writer and should seriously consider doing so professionally. I’d stand in line to buy your first novel.

    I think I will wait until they print the afridged version.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 08 at 04:20 AM • permalink

  116. Ugly Naked Green bike riders

    Pogria, thats one hell of a lot of bicycle racks in that pic.

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 08 at 04:30 AM • permalink

  117. Whhooooooeeeeeoooooooo...Warning to all shipping,Icebergs have been sighted,Keating type bergs known as Growlers are menacing economys in the area,We recommend all ships beach themselves just like those guys at Newcastle.

    Posted by sparrow on 2007 06 08 at 04:31 AM • permalink

  118. O/T but the Volker enquiry seems to be making a few people uncomfortable.

    30 years jail for $100m of dodgy contracts.
    Galloway in trouble? Note he calls the elected Iraqi government illegitimate.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 08 at 04:32 AM • permalink

  119. #116,

    you shouldn’t be looking that hard surfmaster!!! ;-)

    Just a thought, everyone out there who’s going to send pictures of fridges to Tim, You’re not busy morphing into psuedo Dali’s, Warhol’s and Whitely’s before you click the shutter are you?? hmm, hmmm!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 06:04 AM • permalink

  120. Aiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy.

    paco!  That is NOT how it went.  Or at least not how my memory has it.  Where are all my many acts of heroism?  Did I not repair the contact points and brought us back?

    (wronwright wrings hands, hoping no one of importance is reading Tim Blair today)

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 08 at 06:44 AM • permalink

  121. #119. Pogria, nope. I just took a couple of pics of the fridge as is. And I took them before kaboom’s comment at #34.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 08 at 06:54 AM • permalink

  122. When are we going to see the wronwright memoirs? I, for one, want to read the truth about the VRWC’s most misrepresented hero.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 06 08 at 06:58 AM • permalink

  123. #121,

    Did you remember to get the cat out?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 06:58 AM • permalink

  124. We let Grandpa ride his bike naked once.  Took three days to untangle his balls from the chain.

    Posted by SSG Pooh on 2007 06 08 at 07:35 AM • permalink

  125. 89 Pogria

    you owe me royalties!!

    Yeah yeah. You aren’t by any chance married to Jonathan H, are you?...damn!

    OK last try...Dirty Fridgy..."feeling lucky today, do you punk”? ‘Open the door on this fridge, that will be your last’. “Make my day”...’clean it, punk’.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 08:43 AM • permalink

  126. #125,

    El Cid, how about we do “Freaky Fridgy” and you and I can swap bodies.

    You can look like like Anna Nicole.

    What will I look like?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 08:51 AM • permalink

  127. Speaking of Paris Hilton...

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 08 at 08:57 AM • permalink

  128. Seriously, wronwright, what hold does this paco character have on you? Don’t tell me it’s those black and whites of you and Paris Hilton? Look, nobody knew what they were doing that night on 13th Century Hoichu peyote.

    BTW, whose cruel idea was it to kidnap Paris in the Tardis and dump her in a Venezualan solitary cell for 6 months, then return her “75 hours” later? Poor girl was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. If I hadn’t written that report for her, God knows what might have happened to her mind.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 06 08 at 09:01 AM • permalink

  129. Well, I thought fridgeridoo, so I went to youtube and typed in musical refrigerator, and found this. So it’s ontopic. This is much more fun than that dreary stemcell thread.

    Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 08 at 09:04 AM • permalink

  130. #129,

    Hi Dean.

    That walking fridge with the RTA light on top was pretty cool.

    I was expecting the Devil Girl to subdue the earthlings with Dr Flexi Jerkoff’s “Evil Sex Ray”.

    The expanding landing gear reminded me of Dale Arden’s comment, “it’s a good likeness”.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 09:24 AM • permalink

  131. 126 Pogria

    El Cid, how about we do “Freaky Fridgy” and you and I can swap bodies.
    You can look like like Anna Nicole.
    What will I look like?

    Ummmm, since you have indicated that by swapping bodies that, I will “look like Anna Nicole”, the inference is that YOU at this moment, DO have a body “like Anna Nicole”.

    Point one. Lets’ not swap bodies.

    Point two. I will still look like ME.

    Point Three. A tired, sweaty and with a very pleasant smile, Anna Nicole.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 09:28 AM • permalink

  132. #126 Pogria: #125, El Cid, how about we do “Freaky Fridgy” and you and I can swap bodies.
    You can look like like Anna Nicole.
    What will I look like?

    Imagine a cross between The Rock and Snuffy Smith.

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 08 at 09:32 AM • permalink

  133. El Cid, if it makes you feel better, I’m like Anna Nicole during her decline.

    I’m tired also.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 09:33 AM • permalink

  134. Texas Bob,

    I know what The Rock looks, but I’m in the dark about Snuffy Smith.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 09:36 AM • permalink

  135. #134,

    looks “like” PIMF

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 09:37 AM • permalink

  136. 133 Pogria

    El Cid, if it makes you feel better, I’m like Anna Nicole during her decline.

    Oh, you said Decline...gosh for a moment, I thought it Recline....:).

    And no, I don’t “feel better” as I’m terribly sorry, you are tired.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 09:45 AM • permalink

  137. Memo from: Richard McEnroe’
    To: wronwright
    cc: Paco

    Subject: OEM parts and why they’re good

    Unfortunately, since wronwriIIIIIIIIGHT (I’m fine, I’m fine)saw fit to use 1930’s American car parts to repair then Tardis, it has since been spotted moonlighting as a Havana taxi cab.  Support Services are complaining that it’s a real pain getting the smell of cheap rum and German sex tourists out of the upholstery.  Our Dark Master Karl has penciled you in for another interview in the Black Room; please bring your own iodine this time.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 08 at 09:46 AM • permalink

  138. #134 Snuffy Smith
    Here ya go Pogria!

    Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 08 at 09:59 AM • permalink


  139. #136,

    Naaah El Cid,

    simply “retired”.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 10:06 AM • permalink

  140. #138,

    Thanks Texas Bob!!

    You’ve stirred my memories. I have seen Snuffy before. A long, long time ago.

    oops, on second thought, not THAT long ago :)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 10:10 AM • permalink

  141. 140 Pogria

    simply “retired”.

    Ahhh well, see that’s a whole different pot, of Yak Soup. Tim’s favorite, I believe.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 10:21 AM • permalink

  142. he he he,

    It’s been fun El Cid.

    Have a good night all. It’s late over here.

    I’m off to sleep, perchance to dream.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 08 at 10:31 AM • permalink

  143. Yes indeed...time for another cut and paste terrifying note plastered on the FRIDGE.

    I WAS going to take a pic of my FRIDGE with my shotguns arranged on top and my pistols, slung in the door handles...BUT.

    I can’t find the friggin camera, wifey. GEEZUZ H. KEYRIST. Wait, maybe the damn thing is IN, the FRIDGE. SHIT!

    Goodnight Pogria. Pleasant dreams.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 11:26 AM • permalink

  144. For those, that MAY steal my FRIDGE idea, I hope you can live with yourselves...:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  145. Speaking of things that Shouldn’t Ever Be Put In Cans (we were, weren’t we?), check this out.

    Yuck

    My fridge pic is coming, but it wont’ show the copy of the Rules of Singing the Blues I keep posted there. 
    They include: You can’t sing the blues if you drive a Volvo or ski.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 06 08 at 12:23 PM • permalink

  146. Texas Bob, you look like a cross between The Rock and Snuffy Smith...wow, such MANLY men...<heavy sigh>...no wonder so many of us just love Texas!

    Posted by KC on 2007 06 08 at 12:32 PM • permalink

  147. #87.

    Timeline problems! The Ruger firearms company wasn’t established until 1949, so Detective Paco would be carrying a weapon from the future.

    Not to mention a serious violation of the Sullivan Act!

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 06 08 at 12:38 PM • permalink

  148. #138, Texas Bob, I remember Snuffy Smith, but I did not until now realize that his wife Loweezy wore a hijab.  Which just proves the Muslims were in Appalachia before the Appalachians were.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 08 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  149. #26 Mojo: I was engaging in what Rebecca would call “poetic truthiness”.

    #120 Wronwright: Whaddaya mean? Didn’t you stand before the very hotel room door concealing a dangerous killer and trick him into letting his hostage open it, when you could have stayed behind in the lobby eyeing this dame? Did you not manfully say to Smilin’ Sam, when we took your zoot suit back, “Listen, buster, you tryin’ to pull a fast one on me? Gimme some regular street clothes!” And didn’t Smilin’ Sam - who, in reality, was the late Smilin’ Sam’s 70-year old widow, Norma, who had inherited the business - lose two of the three arm wrestling matches with you and have to make the exchange? Sheesh! These characters; always trying to pump their roles!

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 12:52 PM • permalink

  150. For a change of pace, ‘a whale’s natural release’. Nice photo though (SFW).

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 06 08 at 01:27 PM • permalink

  151. #138 Texas Bob: If I had it all to do over again, I swear I’d have named my kids Jughaid and Tater.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 01:32 PM • permalink

  152. O/T

    Looks like the congress critters have forced the retirement of Gen. Pace.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 08 at 02:15 PM • permalink

  153. Speaking of Clint movies…

    Heartbreak Fridge
    Every Fridge Way But Loose
    The Fridges of Madison County

    Posted by charles austin on 2007 06 08 at 02:17 PM • permalink

  154. My apologies, I see from actually reading the thread that The Fridges of Madison County was already included.

    And Heartbreak Fridge.

    And Every Fridge Way But Loose is really reaching.

    Oh, never mind.

    Posted by charles austin on 2007 06 08 at 02:24 PM • permalink

  155. I liked that foreign flick, “A Fridge Too Far”.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 08 at 02:25 PM • permalink

  156. Oops, I see Porgia beat me to it at #75.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 08 at 02:28 PM • permalink

  157. Sorry I’m so late to the thread.Fine job detective paco.Next time you need a period firearm you can borrow my great grandfathers Colt.Can’t lay my hand on it at the moment but I think it’s a nickel plated Police Special .38.He was a small town southern policeman who actually arrested one of Al Capones men while the gangster was visiting one of our part time working girls.He then had to escort him via train back to Chicago single handed.True story.Of course,I’m sure the aforementioned gangster was promptly released upon his return.

    Posted by greene on 2007 06 08 at 02:33 PM • permalink

  158. #158: Now, that’s an interesting story, greene. Hope their were no repercussions for your great-grandfather. Incidentally, I saw a movie a few years back about one of Capone’s relatives (a cousin I think), who was an honest lawman in a small town (somewhere in Kansas, I think), and actually had a couple of run-ins with the employees of his more famous relation.

    I’m sticking by my story that Detective Paco’s Ruger .38 would have gone back with him to 1939 - same as his hat, his suit and his cigarettes. The physics of fantasy is at least as negotiable as the physics of global warming.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 02:43 PM • permalink

  159. Well, I still have my father’s 38 Special.  While it’s not a special 38 I can lay my hands on it.

    Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 08 at 02:56 PM • permalink

  160. CHINESE WEDDING NIGHT

    A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a
    virgin too, but she doesn’t know that. On their wedding night, she cowers
    naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the
    darkness.

    He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. “My darring,"he
    whispers, “I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I
    give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss
    ask. Whatchu want?” he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which
    he hopes will impress her.

    A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her
    request. She eventually shyly whispers back, “I want to try something I have
    heard about from other girls… Numbaa 69.”

    More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone
    he asks her…

    “You want… Garlic Chicken with corrifrowa?”

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 03:42 PM • permalink

  161. #158: GAAAH! “I hope there were no repercussions . . .”

    #161: Good one, EL!

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 03:55 PM • permalink

  162. 159 paco… Sir,please don’t take my suggestion as literary critisism.I love detective paco.And no, my great grandfather lived to the ripe old age of 86.He never suffered any ill effects from the arrest of the gangster.I suspect if law enforcement in Chicago conducted themselves like GreatGrandpa there wouldn’t have been much of a mob problem.To illustrate his code of honor.My Grandfather,(his son) once threw a young man of his acquaintance through a plate glass window for cussing him about his dad.Greatgrandad promptly arrested both of them .Then bailed his son out of jail the same evening.

    Posted by greene on 2007 06 08 at 04:14 PM • permalink

  163. #160 Okay yojimbo.... I had to locate the aforementioned pistola. It’s a Colt Army special .38.It’s an antique so I usually keep it put in a safe place.For family security there are a wide variety of firearms that I can lay my hands on.My favorite being my turkey shotgun loaded with 3 1/2 magnum loads.

    Posted by greene on 2007 06 08 at 04:22 PM • permalink

  164. #163: My dear fellow, no umbrage taken whatsoever (if umbrage is the word I want). And all criticism is welcome. We writer coves are hardly infallible.

    The story about your great-grandfather arresting your grandfather and his friend is hilarious. That is rock-solid integrity.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 04:30 PM • permalink

  165. #165: My dear fellow . . .

    Wait a minute; last time I wrote that it turned out the addressee was a woman. Delete and insert “madam”, if appropriate.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 04:33 PM • permalink

  166. 166 paco… Male here 6’5” 205 lbs.I’ve made that error as well more times than I care to contemplate.

    Posted by greene on 2007 06 08 at 05:02 PM • permalink

  167. #167 Male here 6’5” 205 lbs

    Hmmm. Next time Detective Paco needs some additional muscle to deal with ruthless gunsels, maybe he ought to take you along.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 05:25 PM • permalink

  168. #168 paco.... In an homage to Patrick oBrian.Regarding your occasional need for additional muscle.....I remain sir, your obedient servant...etc.etc.

    Posted by greene on 2007 06 08 at 06:35 PM • permalink

  169. OT but one for Melbournistan Blairite cranks: the latest “mind, body, spirit" festival is on at Jeff’s Shed in town.

    I would normally suggest that we stay away in droves, but I just had a call from a friend of mine who went last night.

    There tend to be some freebies at these things, and at this latest edition of the festival thee are people giving out bags with information about islam. My friend got a bag, a book and a disc. (Not sure if it’s a cd or a dvd - I’ll find out next week when she’s over).

    Gotta get in with the moonbats and luvvies, I guess.

    I went to one of those things years ago to check it out, and all those kirlian photography stands, the fairy-hunters and scientologists did my head in.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 08 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  170. #170, I’d go for the good of the team, but I have a feeling I’d need to take a weapon with me to stop from being accosted by moonbats. I’m not sure I could cope without killing.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 08 at 09:38 PM • permalink

  171. Ash_

    I’m not sure I could cope without killing

    Maiming is good, as well. When someone has to piss through their arm, or when they must have someone constantly wipe the drool from their mouth, while sitting in a chair, it does focus what mind they have left, to when the could do the normal.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 08 at 09:48 PM • permalink

  172. #170 Nilknarf: Bummer. I don’t see anything on steam lodges and astral travel. And what are “tantric” relationships? Sounds kinda illegal, to me.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 10:00 PM • permalink

  173. #173 paco, I always thought they were the ones where you didn’t have sex and just got all spiritual with your partner.

    After reading this, I’m now thoroughly confused myself.

    Tantric teachings embrace the concept that everyone has an intrinsic potential, realizable through the experience of tantric practices. In the Eastern religious thought, Tantra is a pathway to spiritual attainment. In the Western mind, we can consider it a doorway to achieving our ultimate potential – a joyful life, sharing love, celebrating everything. The Divine Union is a powerful tool to help us get there.

    Anyone who can make sense of that paragraph will earn themselves a skippy badge.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 08 at 10:54 PM • permalink

  174. Held annually since 1989, the MindBodySpirit Festival is Australia’s longest running and most respected wellbeing event. It attracts predominantly women from middle to upper household incomes between the ages of 20 and 45, who are genuinely interested in wellbeing products and services.

    I take it these things are crawling with silly bints like that doctor’s wife who quit her job to become a self-proclaimed Ambassador of the Environment.  I’d love to go to something like this for laughs.

    Must-attend seminars and the catalog descriptions they forgot to add:

    Vibrational Essences - A Guide to Gaia-Friendly “Personal Massage Devices” (wink wink nudge nudge)

    Uncovering your Past Lives through Dreams - Once An Asshat, Always An Asshat

    Conceiving Naturally - Insert Tab A…

    Medical Qigong Kinesiology - No, We Don’t Know What The Hell It Means Either, But It Sounds Really Cool And New-Agey, Doesn’t It?

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 08 at 11:01 PM • permalink

  175. #20: Just don’t do a runner on us like last time, detective.

    No, dminor, nothing like that. It’s just that there are a number of time-sensitive projects I’m working on, which means fewer pointless meetings, which means fewer opportunities for me to compose my bits. You see, quite a bit of my stuff represents an attempt on my part to keep amused while sitting through meetings, roundtable discussions, the occasional bun toss, etc. Take the weekly senior staff meeting, for example: half a dozen bores (including myself) sitting around a table, gassing on about this and that, recycling stale cliches. Are we faced with a nettlesome problem requiring additional research? Then we must “peel the onion.” Are there easy tasks that can be accomplished quickly? Permit me to “pick the low-hanging fruit”. Productivity low? Time to “squeeze the orange.” After an hour or so of this, I’m in danger of pitching head-first onto the table to the accompaniment of a fanfare of my own snores (a fortissimo). Picture that scene from The Wizard of Oz - the one with Dorothy and her pals in the poppy field - and you will have a very accurate picture. So, I jot down notes for plots and dialogue to keep my mind occupied. However, as I mentioned, there might not be so many opportunities for a while.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 11:04 PM • permalink

  176. #175: Uncovering your Past Lives through Dreams - Once An Asshat, Always An Asshat

    Literally, LOL!

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 11:07 PM • permalink

  177. Nilknarf Arbed

    As far as I know Tantric sex is sex where the bloke doesnt spoof and stays hard for ages.(I recall that from my teenage years as “trying to get to third base") Leading to what I also recall from my teenage years as a condition known as blue balls. (ladies dont believe it when the bloke says its fatal)

    Nearly every “serious” tantric site says the same thing, “its not about sex” before it carries on about sex.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 08 at 11:21 PM • permalink

  178. Picked a good day to sit up. Thanks for the laugh, Detective Paco.

    Heap good medicine.

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 06 08 at 11:27 PM • permalink

  179. #178 Thanks, frollicking.

    Whatever happened to just getting your rocks off? Or am I missing something and gussying it up with spiritual gobbledygook makes it somehow more worthwhile?

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 08 at 11:38 PM • permalink

  180. #179: Mental Floss! Good God, man, if I had it in me I’d write a story every day just to make you feel better. So glad that you could join us! God bless you.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 08 at 11:41 PM • permalink

  181. Nilknarf Arbed

    I believe its popularity has to do with “would you like to reveal your inner goddess though the powerfull and ancient traditional non-sexual art of Tantra” working much better than “You look like a good sort, want a root?” in certain inner city areas. (and most uni’s)

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 08 at 11:57 PM • permalink

  182. OT: Poll in todays West Australian newspaper puts the Coalition a massive 13% ahead of Labour here in the West.

    Rudderless will be in a right royal flap.

    Posted by phil_b on 2007 06 09 at 12:04 AM • permalink

  183. Tantra versus what I’m currently doing…

    Well, I think I’ll stick with the practices I enjoy at the moment. At least they work.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 12:06 AM • permalink

  184. #179: Incidentally, Mental Floss, you simply must come back to us. When you left, the collective blog IQ dropped a good 15 points. When I returned after a hiatus, it dropped another 15. So you can see what we’re up against.

    Posted by paco on 2007 06 09 at 12:16 AM • permalink

  185. O/T, but Tasty nonetheless.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 12:23 AM • permalink

  186. Pogria, would it be wrong of me to admit how hard I laughed at Paris getting put back in jail?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 12:41 AM • permalink

  187. #187,

    Ash_ I reckon you’d only be the first in a long line waiting outside the confessional :)

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 12:55 AM • permalink

  188. #186,

    I realise that it actually is on topic.

    She’s been sent back to the “cooler”. he he

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 12:56 AM • permalink

  189. #186/187

    I will never, ever get tired of those photos.  Not so hot now, eh, Paris? 

    Her brief stint of house arrest sounded pretty good to me, actually.  Fruit baskets, catered lunches, cupcakes delivered courtesy of some fawning idiot of a bakery owner, no responsibilities, no pressure, nothing to do other than hang around a palatial mansion - what do I have to do to get that gig?

    Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 09 at 01:03 AM • permalink

  190. #188 Pogria, I’m sure that there will be some representatives from one of PACO Industry’s subsidiaries selling snacks and drinks along the line. They’ll make a fortune off the five hour waits to get into the confessional.

    #190 Blue, you simply need to be an ugly, untalented slut with parents who run a mostly over-rated hotel chain.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 01:20 AM • permalink

  191. #191,

    Damn! Ash_

    I’d better hurry and get one of those concessions quick smart!

    One week on that line and I’ll be as rich as um, mmm, oh yeah!!! Paris Hilton!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 01:31 AM • permalink

  192. #192 Pogria, there’s fortunes to be made!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 01:35 AM • permalink

  193. Ash_,

    those concessions will be far more lucrative than smuggling camera phones up your bum into prison to take “exclusive” pix of the crossed-eyed twat.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 01:42 AM • permalink

  194. I too confess, my glee at seeing “stupid spoiled whore” sent back to jail was a little unseemly.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 09 at 01:48 AM • permalink

  195. More comfortable too Pogria.

    Even though I hear that you only get 5% of what you make when you work for PACO Industries, but I could have heard wrong…

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 01:48 AM • permalink

  196. Ash_

    Thats 5% AFTER you pay for stock, insurance, fees, charges, stamp duty, medical coverage, unemployment insurance, superannuation, and protection money.
    Dont think of it as “low wages” so much as “incentive to work harder”.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 09 at 01:58 AM • permalink

  197. #195,

    Mole, three whacks of the “punishment plank” for you.

    #196,

    Ash_

    even 5% will make us rich beyond our dreams.

    Although, I believe we should advise Paco Chavez that we have certain rights under our “work choices” laws.

    One being, a lesser tax rate than that which he deems suitable.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 02:03 AM • permalink

  198. Oh, well that’s okay then TFM. As long as I get insurance and medical coverage, I don’t think I need to pay the protection money.

    Though I suppose PACO Industries also has a subsidiary that would make me want to pay protection money…

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 02:04 AM • permalink

  199. #155
    Nice grouping, sure it’s appreciated.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 02:14 AM • permalink

  200. #187
    Don’t pay much attention to the brat, but after hearing of the charges and that she screamed to her mum that it was ‘unfair’ that she was returning to gaol/jail ...

    How about giving the brat a mature choice in curtailing her liberties: 45 days in gaol or a lifetime driving ban ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 02:20 AM • permalink

  201. egg_, I doubt a lifetime driving ban would teach her anything. She can just hire a chauffer.

    Jail will have quite an impact on her social life though.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 02:25 AM • permalink

  202. 199. Um, the not sure how to break this but the protection money is your health insurance, medical cover AND superannuation all rolled into one. The piranah brothers offered a most compelling package.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 09 at 02:37 AM • permalink

  203. #202 ash
    Thanks for the insight, I was hoping she’d see (prison?) as the lesser of two ‘evils’ ...

    God help her kids, if she ever has any ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 02:51 AM • permalink

  204. Ahhh, in that case, TFM, I better pay the protection money. It seems like a wise investment.

    Egg_, the best chance Paris Hilton’s possible future kids has is for their dad to be some really intelligent guy who then files for sole custody. But that won’t happen, because very few intelligent guys would sleep with Paris, I think.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  205. Apparently the poor liitle thing is ill......syphilis, perhaps??

    Cheers
    RodC

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 06 09 at 03:06 AM • permalink

  206. O/T but worthwhile
    I see Prime Minister Harper of Canada has refused demands, by some senile pop “star” called bongo or something, for an interview to discuss aid to Africa.  Seems that once great country might again have a leader with balls, the last being probably W.L. Mackenzie King

    Cheers
    RodC

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 06 09 at 03:28 AM • permalink

  207. O/T (if it still has one) But Mr Fisk appears to be re-writing a bit of history to suit his arabic masters.

    Heres his take on the 6 day war.

    No#1
    A few of my favourites from the article.
    “..it was Israel which attacked Egypt after Nasser closed the straits of Tiran and ordered UN troops out of Sinai and Gaza following his vituperative threats to destroy Israel.”

    Closing off a countries only sea lane whilst threatening to desroy a country IS a declaration of war in most peoples books.

    No#2
    “..Le Figaro carried an article announcing that “the victory of the army of David is one of the greatest of all time”. Believe It or Not, the Second World War - which might be counted one of the greatest of all time, had ended only 22 years earlier.”

    I think a victory over a number of fronts simutaniuosly IS one of the major victories Mr Fisk?

    No#3
    “Only the president of France, General de Gaulle, moved into political isolation by telling a press conference several months later that Israel “is organising, on the territories which it has taken, an occupation which cannot work without oppression, repression and expulsions -”

    See the Evvvilll Joooos got to deGaule as well.

    No#4
    “..with the exception of one small Christian paper, there was in the entire French press one missing word: Palestinians.”

    Thats because the “Palestinians” as a construct werent even accorded a seperate status till AFTER Arab armies got their collective asses kicked.

    The fact that a newspaper prints his anti Israel garbage is all I need to know about which paper to avoid ever buying.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 09 at 03:37 AM • permalink

  208. #208 Rod C, according to the news tonight (ch nein), Bono and Geldof are unhappy with the G8 summit.

    Apparently $71bn in aid isn’t enough for Africa, with half of it to come from America.

    The poor cat got a fright when I shouted at the tv.

    Oh, and as for Paris bleating on about how it’s not fair?

    Dude, you did the crime, now do the time. As for the sheriff who took pity on her and sent her home to comfort, is it possible he can be sacked? No wonder the judge is pissed at him.

    Talk about a publicity whore.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 09 at 04:21 AM • permalink

  209. #209 Nilk Never watch nein, only the abc -at least I know they’re not even pretending to be unbiased.

    $71 bil.... lot of dosh.  Lets see
    anc $20 bil, kenya pres $5 bil...... etc etc.  Wonder how much goes in organisational and administrative expenses???

    And as for our other topic -publicity as an adjective...?? Perhaps, but you could do totally without it in this case.

    Cheers
    RodC

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 06 09 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  210. #209,

    Nilk,

    Bono and Geldof between could almost match that dolllar for dollar.

    Those two should set an example and put up or STFU!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 05:12 AM • permalink

  211. Off Topic, but relevant.

    Kae is not posting because her server is on the fritz and no-one will fix the problem because of the long weekend.

    She may be off line for a couple of days.

    I thought maybe you could all send her a cheerio. She’ll be stoked when she can read through all the posts and know that you haven’t forgotten her!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 05:19 AM • permalink

  212. #211,
    Bono and Geldof between could almost match that dollar for dollar.

    Damn, I lost “them”.

    Found it!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 05:23 AM • permalink

  213. #211

    Dunno about goldorf-was he ever really big time?
    bongo, though.... he might go close. But do we truly believe they will really dip into their own pockets?? leftist dogooders, remember. Do as I say and so on.

    Cheers
    RodC

    Posted by Rod C on 2007 06 09 at 05:24 AM • permalink

  214. Hiya, Kae! Hope you don’t suffer too much from withdrawals.

    Nah, Geldof was never the squillionaire that Bono is, but I’m pretty sure he’s done quite nicely out of being anti-poverty. Better than he ever did with the Boomtown Rats at least.

    Not that that was difficult.

    A quick google of bono taxes brings up this, this and this one.
    I find the last link quite interesting indeed.

    Hypocrisy, thy name is Bono.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 06 09 at 05:40 AM • permalink

  215. As I said earlier Nilk,

    They should put up or STFU!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 06:03 AM • permalink

  216. Bonzo - free afterhours sunglasses (shades) for all of Africa?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 06:31 AM • permalink

  217. I just learnt a New word!!!

    Gorenography.

    This is the disgusting garbage that young leftards hide under their beds to retrieve when mates come over for a bit of “oh yeah, mmmm baby, show me your melting peaks, oh god, make those polar bears starve!!!

    As opposed to,

    Gorerotica,

    the tasteful depiction of pitiful Penguins looking across the vast expanse of ice and wondering “will we make it back to our beloved ocean or die trying?”

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 06:48 AM • permalink

  218. MentalFloss

    Wonderful to see your fingertips, my good fellow.

    Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 09 at 06:55 AM • permalink

  219. #218
    Yeah ABC RN refer to it as ‘global porn’

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 07:09 AM • permalink

  220. Arthur Miller’s ‘A View from the Fridge’

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 07:16 AM • permalink

  221. #220
    ABC RN Counterpoint, that is

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 07:19 AM • permalink

  222. MentalFloss is here?

    (wronwright subtely stuffs Sumerian and Akkadian tablets under sofa)

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 09 at 07:35 AM • permalink

  223. My fridge has little magnets from countries my wife has visited.  She makes a point of buying them and has about 40 so far - nice effort.

    Re Paris - that photo of her crying is PRICELESS.  The stupid bitch drove drunk 3 times and could have killed many innocent people.  She needs her arrogant selfish bitch face to be taught a major lesson in humility and respect.  I don’t care about her fame - just her “F U” attitude to the law.  The judge has nicely sorted her out.

    Well done!

    re movie title - I scanned through but didn’t see:

    “Debbie does The Fridge”

    remember him?

    hehe

    Posted by peter m on 2007 06 09 at 07:45 AM • permalink

  224. Apparently Bonzo tried to turn this historic Martello tower (a la Fort Denison in Sydney) into a restaurant ... class act, not.

    Instrumental pluckers.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 07:51 AM • permalink

  225. #223
    OUCH!! There eight minions living under that sofa Wronwright! I was just doing their annual squalor inspection.

    However, I’m pleased with the vast numbers of empty Sumerian mead amphorae you keep bombarding them with. Makes for a lovely bit of squalor, that does.

    MarkL
    Minionmeister to the VRWC

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 06 09 at 07:52 AM • permalink

  226. Tim’s off skiiing.

    Are we going for another thousand???

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  227. #195

    frollickingmole, a local radio station (Canberra 104.7 FM) has a pair of loons on in the morning - quite funny.

    They have been running with the Hilton gaol thing, starting off with what they called ‘The Shawskank Redemption’ when they found out she was toting a Bible around. Their take was that it was having a huge impact, because millions of people were saying “Look! Why is that skank carrying a Bible?” Jokes aplenty have been made, ranging from:

    slap!
    waaaah!
    ‘Congratulations Mrs Hilton, it’s a slut!’

    to one about video cameras.

    Once she was in the hole, their commentary was renamed ‘The Shawskank Chronicles’, and piss-funny it was. I am looking forward to what they saw come Tuesday morning.

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2007 06 09 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  228. #227,

    Ski-ing.

    two i i’s

    too much cab-sav, burp, sorry.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:00 AM • permalink

  229. #227, I’m game if you are.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:09 AM • permalink

  230. #229 - skiing - is that like sport in an outdoor fridge?

    Posted by surfmaster on 2007 06 09 at 08:20 AM • permalink

  231. #230,

    Ash_

    Swinish, Grimmy and I did it last week, so, you’re on. I think Swinish and I were hallucinating afterwards. So, be forewarned.

    #231,

    Surfmaster,

    has to be indoors, my idea of outdoor sport is, doing it with the window open. Burp. Still feeling the cab-sav. Onto the JD now.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:26 AM • permalink

  232. Hallucinating is fine Pogria.

    It’ll distract from the eerie quiet around the house when Jesse and Matty are away.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:29 AM • permalink

  233. BTW, how’s the battle of the “bulge” going Ash_?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:36 AM • permalink

  234. 228. MakL

    I like it. At work all I get is bits of radio national. Not a lot of entertainment there.
    Shawskank redemption bwahahahaha, I like it.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 06 09 at 08:37 AM • permalink

  235. She’s going good Pogria. She’s definitely going to be a soccer player.

    She enjoys kicking me, but mostly when I’m trying to sleep.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:38 AM • permalink

  236. Mark L

    keep us updated.

    Shawskank Redemption and Shawskank Chronicles, is the funniest thing I’ve heard in yonks.

    I’ve kept visitors in stitches tonight solely on that post of yours.

    Hence the excess of cab-sav and JD.

    Anyway, that’s my excuse.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:41 AM • permalink

  237. #236,

    Ash_

    my boy was always making himself known whenever there was an audience.

    The loose tops I wore, ( that you’d be starting to be aware of) would suddenly shoot off in all directions.

    Scared the hell out of people.

    They thought I was hiding an animal under my top.

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:47 AM • permalink

  238. AFAIK ‘Shawskank’ originated on Jay Leno, but a good’un all the same

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:48 AM • permalink

  239. LOL. Pogria, when certain things have expanded to needing an H cup, there is no such thing as a loose top.

    It’s shitting me beyond belief.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:49 AM • permalink

  240. How’re the night time trips to the loo?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:51 AM • permalink

  241. They’re not too bad, because we have four bathrooms in our house, so I never have far to walk.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:52 AM • permalink

  242. Hang on, this is a FRIDGE thread.

    How’re the night time trips to the fridge?

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:52 AM • permalink

  243. The fridge is never full enough.

    My boss was over for dinner, but he’s doing a food run for me now. He’s a good man. He’s getting chocolate, otherwise he’s going to get hurt.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:53 AM • permalink

  244. Bloody Hell!!!

    I hope you don’t have to clean all those toilets!?!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 08:57 AM • permalink

  245. Of course I do!

    The gentlemen who reside here don’t do cleaning, unless they don’t think they have any choice.

    Matty’s single and he’s almost finished house training if any ladies here are interested!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 08:59 AM • permalink

  246. Kae needs a bloke to do bloke things!

    Chocolate never did it for me. I needed bread, cheese, olives, gherkins and salami.

    The only sweet thing I craved were peanut butter and honey sandwiches on multigrain bread.

    I still can’t keep peanut butter in the house ‘cause I’ll eat the jar within two days. mmmmmmm, peanut butter, oaoaoaooarrrrggghhh.

    My son can’t stand it!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 09:05 AM • permalink

  247. LOL. But Matty is in Melbourne, not Brissy!

    I need chocolate. Lots of it. It sounds as sick as it is, but I was dipping raw 2 minute noodles into Ice Magic last night. It was sooooooo gooooooooooood.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 09:06 AM • permalink

  248. I know a recipe for “chocolate spiders”.

    You melt some choc, whatever type you like, and mix a packet of those deep fried noodles you buy in the supermarket. Drop bundles of them onto a tray and “Bingo” you’re in heaven!!

    Posted by Pogria on 2007 06 09 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  249. I really like the sound of that!

    I pretty much just mugged Jimmy at the door. He bought lots of chocolate!

    I love having a boss who loves me!

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 09 at 09:18 AM • permalink

  250. Page 1 of 2 pages  1 2 >

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.