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THAT'S WHY THEY CALL HIM CHIMPLER
Someone, somewhere, is right now fixing to blame this on George Bush:
The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.
Sorry, Tim, but paco and the rest of us have already worked this into Lord Karl’s operation plan (follow the thread down for tactical details).
No bonus check for you this month. Wronwright—this time, don’t pocket the extra. The Tardis wet bar needs restocking.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 22 at 12:29 PM • permalinkDon’t forget Jimmah Carter’s close brush with death due to an attack by a Killer Rabbit.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 10 22 at 01:00 PM • permalinkZoos have monkeys. Texas has zoos. Bush is from Texas…
Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2007 10 22 at 01:21 PM • permalinkAh, Jeez, Gary from Joisey, you’re gonna try to make us “connect all the dots” aren’t you? Give us a break. If the Leftards can’t do it for themselves, why should we have to labor?
Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 10 22 at 01:29 PM • permalinkThey attacked the deputy mayor? Oh gee whiz. It was supposed to the mayor. The mayor! I showed them the photo. It was a good likeness.
Well, they can expect a session with the hand agonizer (Evil Spock version) later today. We accept no mistakes.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 10 22 at 02:32 PM • permalinkTRJS,
Okay, so it was you. The liquor bottles seemed awfully low. The crystal decanter of Louis XIV cognac was almost gone. I was terribly frightened that Karl would ask for it on his safari to 15000 BC Siberia to bag a woolly mammoth. Can you imagine me having to tell Karl that he couldn’t have any? Fortunately he was satisfied with the Sumerian mead, blessed golden drops they are.
I don’t know how you got into my locked store room. It’s got a fricking iron and oak door, locked 24 hours a day.
STAY. OUT. OF. THE. TARDIS.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 10 22 at 02:43 PM • permalinkI don’t understand, I loved their music in the sixties, now look what they have stooped to.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 10 22 at 04:18 PM • permalinkI don’t know how you got into my locked store room.
That’s because I have the codes to operate this.
BUAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 22 at 04:24 PM • permalinkKiller rabbit? Night of the Lepus. Great cheesy movie.
Posted by rightwingprof on 2007 10 22 at 05:19 PM • permalinkNew Blackwater Employees
(Mickey, Peter, Davy and Mike)
Have a Theme Song!Hey hey, we’re the Monkees!
People say we monkey around.
But we’re too busy stalking -
We’ll put anybody down!That’s right, we’re the Monkees!
Victims never know we’re around.
We’re hopped-up Monkee ninjas -
We’ll put you in the ground!Now that! Is death by misadventure.
And also why whenever I am traveling in the wilds of Delhi I am never without a can of “Monkey-Be-Gone"® by the Primate Anti-Combat Organization.
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 10 22 at 08:52 PM • permalinkI am surprised the Indian parliament hasn’t gone the way of the Turks and the Chinese to complain about the US over this incident.
Monkeys live in forests.
Forests have bushes.
Bushes have been slowly cut back.
Monkeys now have no homes.
Now attacking people.Therefore, monkey death due to Bush’s cutbacks.
Blame America, people!
#16 - I am still hoping against hope that Aussie idiots will not concentrate on racist taunts this summer, just the usual well-thought out, intellectual jibes.
Indians live in Texas
Bush is from Texas
The Alamo is in Texas
The Alamo was attacked by monkeys....
....
Bugger, wrong Indians. No monkeys at the Alamo. How do I make this work? Gotta blame Bush some how. Help me people!All I can think is that:
NASA has facilities in Texas
NASA shot monkeys into space
Space monkeys landed in India?Posted by mr creosote on 2007 10 22 at 09:49 PM • permalinkIt is completely irresponsible of anyone to blame anything on Bush at this critical period of Australian politics.
I blame HoWARd. Now I understand his facial expressions during the Mass debate. He was practicing his “Monkees Attack NOW” commands on the front-bench heckling KRudd.
Cunning.
Posted by Hero Schema on 2007 10 22 at 09:53 PM • permalinkActually Hero, I think it goes like this…
- The print press are a pack of slavering baboons
- The ABC is overrun with poo-throwing monkeys
- Channel 9 is run by chimps, and are sadly missing the 800 pound gorilla that used to run things
- Sky, being the new kids on the block, has staff that have evolved slightly into neanderthalsThe Indian mayor was actually killed by a CNN camera crew that was desperate for a quote. Or a banana.
Any facial expressions that JWH pulled on the night were probably a reaction at the requirement to wear nose plugs to keep out the stench.
Kevin of course picked his out and ate them before going to air.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 10 22 at 10:15 PM • permalinkMaybe Roy got it wrong.It seems that Hindus worship monkeys as the manifestation of a God.Perhaps they were just expressing their appreciation of Roy’s God-like batting prowess.Then again maybe not. Either way they would have been well advised to have made their intentions totally clear because when the Indian team tours they can expect to reap the reward.
I guess I’ll have to add “Monkeys Kill Mayors", on top of this:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Bush administration has now been accused of trying to cover up good news from Iraq.
Posted by tree hugging sister on 2007 10 23 at 01:14 PM • permalink#2--Once Hillary gets elected, they’ll be flying monkees.
Will they fly out of her butt? And did you mean monkeys or these guys, because it would be really cool to have Micky and Davy fly out of Hillary’s butt.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 10 23 at 09:52 PM • permalink
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I suppose it could have been worse. The deputy mayor could have been trampled by sacred cows. And that would have been George Bush’s fault too.