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THANKS BRIAN
Queensland lefty Brian Bahnisch reviews the Stern report:
If the apocalyptic scenario envisaged by James Lovelock comes to be, Stern will be forgotten by the surviving breeding pairs who regenerate the human race in Antarctica, while the planet takes 100,000 years to repair itself. Stern’s comprehensive review of the scientific literature on global warming demonstrates that the Lovelock scenario is all too possible.
Select your breeding partners, surviving Antarctic humans! Judging by adoring comments, Brian won’t lack for partners himself:
• “Thanks, Brian. I believe this to be the first comprehensive post on Stern in the Australian blogosphere!”
• “Excellent post Brian. Thank you.”
• “Thanks for this Brian.”
• “Nice review Brian.”
• “Nice work Brian!”
• “Thanks Brian. I actually am quite alarmed by all this ... It’s scary. We don’t know what’s going to happen, but it could be very very bad indeed.”
Prediction: many children in the post-Antarctic human regeneration era will be named Brian in honour of their all-wise, future-knowing God.
Prediction: many children in the post-Antarctic human regeneration era will be named Brian in honour of their all-wise, future-knowing God.
Brian: I’m not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity!
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, fuck off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?
Prediction: many children in the post-Antarctic human regeneration era will be named Brian in honour of their all-wise, future-knowing God.
Well, considering that some multinational global hegemonic industrial complex of a conglomerate named PACO Industries has been taking over all the good land and building condos there, I rather doubt it. More likely it will be Paco, Karl, or maybe Junior Johnson.
As for me, I think I probably better attend the condo wine and cheese party my Ross Ice Shelf condo complex is throwing this weekend. The ladies there might be the only source for babies when the ultimate flooding comes. I sure hope they’re all babes and not like those heifers that marched in the
BeastsBreasts Not Bombs parade in San Francisco. Especially the one that had a blonde beard. eeewwwwwwwwPosted by wronwright on 2006 11 14 at 12:37 PM • permalink#5 Paulris: Our carbon offset certificates are well-known for their high quality and aesthetic appeal. Printed on genuine rag paper (U.S. bank note quality!), they feature an engraved picture of a smokestack with a cork in it, and lovely Gaia-style maidens dancing around it in various stages of classical deshabille. Printed in denominations of 50, 100 and 1000 Gorebloons, they are WHAT YOU NEED to prove your size 4, AA carbon footprint.
#9 wronwright,thanks for reminding me. Hey, El Cid, RebeccaH: what’s the current level of presales on the Penguin Downs complex? And what’s with the shooting gallery in the club house? Can we get liability coverage on that?
Maybe we should start up a dating service for panic driven, Antarctic bound envirotards. Might be that we could make a handsome profit while using the database to find ourselves some hot dates. I’ll fake being a leftie for a night!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 14 at 01:49 PM • permalinkWell yes because when I want verification of dodgy scientific doomsday predictions I turn to an Economist! Any one else remember that joke about the economist stuck on a desert island with a can of beans ...... ?
Posted by Just Another Bloody Lawyer on 2006 11 14 at 04:33 PM • permalinkMe, I’m staying right where I am. So the Olympic Peninsula becomes the Olympic Archipelago, I’m okay. Got boats, got guns, got ammo, and if those hysterical pants wetting ninnies think they’re going to provide the breeding pairs (pairs? that post apocalyptic scenario looks tailor made to abandon monogamy!) they won’t know what’s hit them. I might save a few gelded metrosexuals (if it’s actually going to be necessary to geld them - I suspect not) to slave in the arugula mines, but that’s it. Their genes won’t be populating the Brave New World.
Now excuse me while I place another internet order with Post Apocalyptic Conservative Outfitters - with luck there’s time for one more delivery before the waters rise. They have this jerky drier that can do an entire polar bear side at a time.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 11 14 at 04:43 PM • permalink#17 - You mean the one that ends with “FIrst, assume a can opener?”
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 11 14 at 04:46 PM • permalinkStern Review II, The Turnaround: The Icebergs Conquer Morocco.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 14 at 06:26 PM • permalinkThey won’t want breeding pairs of anything that thinks. It is thinking and making choices that these people feel is the whole problem. I.e., it is the very nature of man that makes man unnatural and, therefore, a plague on the earth.
The unthinking, such as the virotards, won’t be breeding, either. They’ll have drowned long before, being too damn stupid to step back from the rising tides, much less rising sea levels.
Doomed. And gloomed, too.
I left my blog excursion comment (1.618).
http://larvatusprodeo.net/2006/11/13/the-stern-review-the-situation-is-serious/#comments
It’s the very last one!
Blogg excursions are fun!
Continued..26#
The chunk that collapsed into the Weddell Sea in 2002 was 3,250 sq kms (1,255 sq miles), bigger than Luxembourg or the U.S. state of Rhode Island, and I’m thinking we Aussie’s, could sell it off and put duplex homes on the ice site and market it as a waterfront property for the retirees.He made a boo boo in his spelling I had to correct it, you know you are all correcting mine, so I’ve learnt something here.. tee hee hee
http://larvatusprodeo.net/2006/11/13/the-stern-review-the-situation-is-serious/#comments
Too late, too late by far to claim the antarctic
My reliable souces inform me.
http://www.nexusmagazine.com/articles/SecretWar1.html
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 11 14 at 09:37 PM • permalinkI DEMAND my global warming. I’m long on Kansas rice futures…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 14 at 10:08 PM • permalinkI’m long on Kansas rice futures…
And the Club Med proposed for Anchorage…
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 14 at 10:36 PM • permalinkBetter make that Fairbanks, SwinishCapitalist. Anchorage is currently at sea level, and will be inundated soon enough.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 14 at 10:52 PM • permalinkbtw, Bolta has a cracker of a post on Al Gore’s visit to Australia coinciding with some rather odd weather conditions:
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 11 14 at 11:06 PM • permalinkBummer, TRJS!
This is what I get for trying to be cute with other people’s geography.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 14 at 11:09 PM • permalinkMonty Python have already produced his hagiography “The Life of brian”.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 14 at 11:29 PM • permalinkOn the bright side, I doubt anyone will pull the typo of “Brain” while typing his name.
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 14 at 11:32 PM • permalink#7 kbiel, your onto something here. We can put together a complete travel package, from Perth, one way. We could make donations to the greenie publications so they would
advertise usmention us in editorials.We could publish glowing reports of the egalitarian community
freezing to deathbasking in the sun. I’ve got a map on my fridge of Antartica. This is a good idea.We would relieve them of their capitalist, Gaiaiaia oppressor guilt by taking their money and .... etc. for a more creative writer.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 14 at 11:37 PM • permalink#47 WC - have you tried to actually pronounce “Gaiaiaia?” It comes across disconcertingly like ululation.
In fact, I defy you to try it and tell me it isn’t ululation.
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 11 15 at 01:45 AM • permalink#46 Grimmy, the thing to remember about pms is that when a few women are in the one place, there is often a tendency for hormonal cycles to synchronise with the dominant female.
This means that you’ll have only a few days a month to deal with it, but it will be all the women at once.
Good luck, and keep a large store of chocolate on hand. You’ll need it.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 11 15 at 07:10 AM • permalinkmurph, it’s no joke. That’s paco soliciting the Christmas shopping crowd. Don’t laugh. I’ve heard he’s selling carbon credits like a baker selling eclairs.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 15 at 10:02 AM • permalinkCarbon credits? Aren’t those what our parents told us Santa would leave in our stockings if we were naughty?
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 11 15 at 01:51 PM • permalink#49: That’s right! #10, above is right out of Paco’s All-you-want-for Christmas Orderbook!
BTW, thanks to whoever it was here who enlightened me on the subject of recursive acronyms. Now I am “one up”.
Maybe we can all try to get cheques from our companies/employers for the Carbon Funds: funds for carbon?
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 16 at 12:02 AM • permalink
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...or it could be good. Or it could be indifferent…
Priceless. “I have no idea what’s going to happen, so we must do something! Silence, denialist!”