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THANK SC—NCE
Global warming a religion? No way, writes Dave S.:
Nope, no religion here. Global Warming is pure science.
Thank Science someone is taking this threat seriously. I’m sick and sciencedamn tired of these skeptics. I mean, for Science’s sake, what will it take to convince them?
“Sciencedamn”. I’ll be stealing that.
I’ll be stealing that.
PW and I are waaaaaaaaaaay ahead of you!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 19 at 12:15 PM • permalinkPS: Science bless you, Dave!
Science bless this blog! Science Bless Tim and Andrea! And Science bless us, each and every one of us!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 19 at 12:16 PM • permalinkDo environmentalist dyslexics stay awake at night wondering whether there’s an ecneics?
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 19 at 12:17 PM • permalinkScience bless you, Dave S., you’ve done it again.
No, I haven’t. I was referencing a recent episode of South Park. Eric Cartman freezes himself and wakes up in the future, where the enlightenined futurepeople have abandoned religion and its violence in favor of dispassionate, rational scientific atheism. And, of course, are constantly at war with other factions of rational scientific atheists who disagree with them on points of scientific atheist dogma. During their battles they yell things at each other like “Science damn you!”
The whole thing reminded me of how we’ve discussed the religious nature of global warmists and other left-wing ideologues that pretend to be rational.
So, I’ll take credit for porting it into our milieu. ;-)
I believe they also believe in the Doctrine of Unsubstantiation.
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 19 at 12:59 PM • permalinkUh, docweasel, read before you comment, and his name isn’t Dan.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 19 at 02:20 PM • permalinkScience is dead! There is no science!
Only those with primitive medieval minds can still believe this superstitious skyscience claptrap.
Where are their heads at? Do they seriously think that in the last moments before oblivion science is going to come to rescue them?
Still. You’ve got to admire them for their blind loyalty and innocent faith.
I wonder if aaron_ experienced a ‘doh!’ moment just after he posted?
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 19 at 03:10 PM • permalinkRestore the Vernier Calipate! And kill this infidel!
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 11 19 at 03:15 PM • permalinkI contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer scientist than you do.
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 11 19 at 03:23 PM • permalinkIt’s not a religion! You just gotta have faith!
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 11 19 at 04:04 PM • permalinkHey, how about SBUH (Sc**nce Be Upon Him).
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 11 19 at 04:05 PM • permalinkLike docweasel and aaron_. Who among many other things seem to believe that South Park episodes are broadcast around the world at the same time they are in the United States.
But—but aren’t you one of our states? Oh wait… (checks map). Never mind, that’s Canada.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 19 at 07:14 PM • permalinkBut—but aren’t you one of our states? Oh wait… (checks map). Never mind, that’s Canada.
Canada’s not a state; Congress hasn’t granted that to them yet. They’re a possession.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 19 at 07:22 PM • permalinkI wish to register a complaint. It offends my religion to use the term s*****e and any representation of it by anyone is punishable by the removal of the offender’s head from their body. Please give in to the equality of my culture.
Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 11 19 at 08:45 PM • permalinkI represent the Church of Nuclear Winter. We still believe, as we did in the 1980’s, that the world is faced with catastrophic cooling.
Our solution to global warming is simple - bring on a nuclear winter by turning North Korea and another annoying middle eastern countries into glass until the temperature drops to an acceptable level. We keep on nuking until I can turn off the air conditioner.
To believe anything else is blasphemy. And those splitters who believed in the Earth getting colder in the 1980’s that have jumped ship - they are heretics. They are going to be tied to a stake and then cooked by concentrated solar mirrors.
Posted by mr creosote on 2006 11 19 at 09:13 PM • permalink1.618 :) and pythagoras
I’ve got some bad news Tim, Fairfax’s The Sun Herald is now a pro Islamic newspaper. Re this issue.
Talk about Islamic reporting! Check out the Islamic stories. eg. sheik gigi jipo and then the use of no burqa in image story, then educational images of scarves…. etc
This seems to run throughout the fairfax group (community news) with simulated multicultural life saving images and stories endorsed which is endorsed and funded by the NSW government and is manipulated to suit the current simululated lefty agenda or to appease them. This is not news reporting it’s simulating news with propaganda….
Fairfax has an Islamic journalist (female) seen on 9, who looks like a convert.#29 territorial possession
#30 Canada, territorial chattel.
We prefer the term “trade bitch”, if you don’t mind, Rob and kae. And sure, blame Canada, Andrea.Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 19 at 10:23 PM • permalinkAnd sure, blame Canada, Andrea.
Always!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 19 at 10:32 PM • permalinkWhy would we want that scienceforsaken place? All it ever produced was cold fronts, hockey, and Sciernceon Lightfoot.
Yeah, but on the other hand there’s Captain Tractor.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 19 at 10:33 PM • permalinkThen again, maybe I mean Mexico. Is this map upside down?
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 19 at 10:33 PM • permalink#21 Dave S.
Wow! You’ve got a chest like clams? And here I was davening to SC-ENCE for a chest like scallops!
Who knew?
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 11 19 at 10:38 PM • permalinkand still on “religion”, Bono’s devotees at $150 a ticket, were told to “fix world poverty by shining the light from their mobile phones into the sky” -at his Austrayan concerts..The Oz.
and o/t Clare Martin N.T. Chief and ex ABC Newsreader prior to her appointment was discovered by The Australian newspaper to have known 18 MONTHS before she instituted an inquiry-
that young indigenous girls were prostituting for petrol (sniffing you presume). She is the Indigenous Affairs Minister as well.#45
INTERVIEWER: And how much of that $150 price tag for the ticket goes to world poverty?
BONO: Well, you know, we have to hire the venue, teamsters, lighting effects. Those limos out the back, they’re not cheap you know. Plus there are my various houses and my sunglass fetish, airfares, motel rooms.
INTERVIEWER: So much to starving children?
BONO: Science only knows, at least 15 or 20 cents, I’m sure.
I’ve noticed a tendency for this blog to get rather silly. Now I do my best to keep things moving along, but I’m not having things getting silly. This thread is getting very silly indeed. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do. Except perhaps my wife. And some of her friends. Oh yes, and Captain Johnson… Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that’s beside the point! Now! Let’s have a good clean healthy Plastic Turkey thread…
(the above comment is wholly original and owes nothing to any oft-referenced pop culture source, up to and including South Park, The Simpsons, Star Trek, or any British sketch comedy show featuring uptight Colonels. Any accusations that this is unoriginal material being passed off as my own by declaration or omission shall be punished with soft pillows and a comfy chair, sciencedammit.)
Right! That’s silly again! Cut to the next comment in three… two… wait for it! ... one…
#49 Oh! I say, good show, Tim! Opinion Editor!
If you ever want my opinion, well…call me, eh?
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 11 19 at 11:03 PM • permalinkPart of the aforementioned South Park episode here. The Buck Rogers references are hilarious.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 11 19 at 11:14 PM • permalinkBlair said he didn’t have a position title as such – “in-house vigilante” will morph into something more “job-friendly” over coming weeks – but would be writing a column for the paper.
Hey! What’s wrong with “in-house vigilante”?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 19 at 11:22 PM • permalinkGotta be better than “outhouse vigilante”. Phew!
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 11 19 at 11:39 PM • permalinkCongratulations Tim!
btw, the South Park episode linked in #51 is the second part. The first is here.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 11 20 at 12:04 AM • permalinkThanks geoff!
btw, the episode linked in #58 is definitely not safe for work.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 11 20 at 12:14 AM • permalinkDoes this mean the Beatles are bigger than Chemistry ?
Posted by Rachel Corrie's Flatmate on 2006 11 20 at 01:06 AM • permalinkDang! Even the military has caught this warming science thingy. I contracted it off this link supplied by Tim.
In the Summer of 1962, two U.S. nuclear subs surfaced at the north pole. All of this arctic activity was to prove that nuclear subs could operate up there, and that ballistic missile subs could launch their missiles there as well. American, and Russian, subs have been operating up there ever since. They have also used their sonar to measure the ice thickness and report that the ice has lost 40 percent of its thickness in the last 20 years. This has caused problems for the polar bears, who feed on seals that surface near offshore ice flows or through breathing holes in pack ice. Some bears are forced to come ashore earlier because of the longer warm season. This is caused by a combination of global warming and the normal fluctuation of Arctic ice thickness.
And if Greenland is getting cooler on top, then that’s radiative cooling for you. Or cosmic rays. Or sunspots…but angry Gia it ain’t.
On Friday, Al Gore’s, Billy Graham style, evirongalism tour concluded in Perth. It’s estimated he spoke to 1000’s of followers, a couple of whom stayed awake.
On Sunday 300,000 heretics risked eternal damnation to the bowels of Physics 101 by cramming the Perth foreshore to worship the internal combustion engine at the Red Bull Air Race.
The debate is now over.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 20 at 02:45 AM • permalinko/t
Bolt has a story about the arrest on the Gold Coast of one Mohammed Islam, who was caught at the Surfer’s Paradise bus station with $120K in a suitcase and a mobile phone wedged in his rectum.
WTF!?
a mobile phone wedged in his rectum.
That would have been quite tricky in the early 90’s. Luckily technology has miniaturised most electronics.
Mohmammad Islam: Just asking for trouble with that name.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 20 at 04:38 AM • permalinkI’m with #48 in decrying how this thread has gotten too silly.
First we should wreck the US economy. Then we should wait a decade or two (or maybe more, say, a century) to see if global warming has been fixed/improved.Posted by Jim,MtnViewCA,USA on 2006 11 20 at 05:08 AM • permalink#68 murph
a mobile phone wedged in his rectum
Love the headline for that article: Terror link probed. lol
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 20 at 06:28 AM • permalinkanother o/t
6 men of unknown appearance, belonging to an organisation with unknown motives have been arrested in Germany for planning to blow up aircraft
Hey Dan, quit ripping off Southpark dude! I mean like that TOTALLY was on a recent episode already and shit.
/docweeeezel
What Science hath given, Science can taketh away.
..and on the seventh day, Science rested.
The Science of Abraham
The Science, The Son of Science and The Science Ghost. The Holy Trigonometry.
All creatures of our Science and King
ok, thats enough of THAT.
If Science is God, what does that make Satan? You are all soooooo going to Art…
#66 Murph: Bolt has a story about the arrest on the Gold Coast of one Mohammed Islam, who was caught at the Surfer’s Paradise bus station with $120K in a suitcase and a mobile phone wedged in his rectum.
WTF!?
It’s simple. He wanted to talk to the prophet in his native tongue. And do you have ANY idea how much a cell phone call to the afterlife costs??? $120K will get you about 3 minutes.
At Junk Science read all the latest Junk Science news.
Posted by stackja1945 on 2006 11 20 at 06:56 AM • permalinkIf you find that conventional science isn’t giving you the answers you need in your life, why not take a tip from Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and countless other celebrities and give Religiontology a try?
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 11 20 at 10:31 AM • permalinkBill Nye the Godly Guy has been canceled.
Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 11 20 at 10:41 AM • permalinkAbsurdly wasteful display will become less popular once people comprehend its origins in sexual selection, and its pathetic unreliability as a signal of individual merit or virtue
Except that conspicuous consumption is a particularly good indicator of access to material wealth, which, by providing access to better medical care and educational opportunities, improves the success of your offspring.
Somehow I think this supposed scientist got a bit of Marx in his Darwin.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 11 20 at 12:14 PM • permalinkEvo-psych can explain why we’re they way we are. Therefore, we’re not the way we are.
With science like this, who needs religion?
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 11 20 at 12:51 PM • permalink“Science is wheeled on just as God was once wheeled on, as corroborating evidence (from a superior source) for something upon which
the voice of moral reproof wanted to insist anyway.”—Matthew ParrisPosted by Paul Zrimsek on 2006 11 20 at 01:00 PM • permalink#94 Robert Crawford
Somehow I think this supposed scientist got a bit of Marx in his Darwin.
Spiked his own socio-economic theoretical punch, eh?
::gulp:: ::spit:: That’s f*cking vodka, man!
/Tommy ChongPosted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 20 at 02:08 PM • permalink#4 May SCIENCE be upon you, nay may it be with you, nay, nay, may it be right through you. May you be kept in natural ignorance for the sake of science.
Behold! Science is upon us and we must reject our evil ways! Reject our technology that science tells us is destroying our mother! Yea!! repent thee!, that knows’t not what ye do.
Bow down and throw away your tools of destruction, throw up! Even unto including language! For our science has told us so! We must follow the path of the hunter gatherer, but silently! Avoiding the ways of the devil knowledge.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 20 at 09:06 PM • permalink#29 #30 And I suppose you are expecting to get a rise out of the supine Canadians, eh??
Well, remember that South Park is an area of Carleton Place, a town just outside Ottawa. You see, we are taking you over, slowly but surely, without you guys noticing.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 20 at 09:14 PM • permalinkOh, mannnnnnn… scientific facts are like sooooooo arbitrary and sooooo judgmental….why can’t we set policy on science we feel is correct…?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 20 at 09:22 PM • permalink
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Speaking of religion, Stone takes aim at the deadliest one