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TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING

Bollywood stars Abhisek and Aiswarya Bachchan get the word out on global warming:

“Terrible, terrible things are happening to this Earth of ours and we want to use this platform to try to acquaint people about what it’s about and what they can do,” said Abhishek. “We’re using this opportunity to spread the word.”

Of what “opportunity” does Abhishek speak? Try this on for size:

The Unforgettable Tour, first announced in June, during the International Indian Film Academy Awards in Sheffield, England, will begin in summer 2008. It will consist of on stage re-enactments of popular Bollywood song-and-dance items ...

The tour will transit through 18 countries around the world with sizeable Indian populations and include stops at Vancouver, New York, Los Angeles, London, Cairo, Sydney, Singapore and Hong Kong.

Makes my own warmening jaunt look downright puny.

Posted by Tim B. on 08/18/2007 at 11:36 AM
  1. Hm.  Just the singing and dancing, and the snoring in the audience, is enough to raise carbon emissions to unacceptable levels.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 08 18 at 12:05 PM • permalink

  2. Terrible, terrible things are happening
    on stage re-enactments of popular Bollywood song-and-dance items ...

    Self explanatory I thought

    Posted by Pa Feral on 2007 08 18 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  3. The Unforgettable Tour. Never heard of it.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 08 18 at 12:36 PM • permalink

  4. Terrible things.  Horrible things.  Things that make you run screaming into the night!  Things that make grown men break down in tears, and not liberal men either!

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2007 08 18 at 12:57 PM • permalink

  5. What they are, I dunno.  I just ride the hysteria.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2007 08 18 at 12:58 PM • permalink

  6. Be fair, Tim. Maybe they’re walking.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 08 18 at 01:00 PM • permalink

  7. And nothing says “scientific research” like a musical dance number.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 08 18 at 01:06 PM • permalink

  8. Actually, I’d pay to see “Watson and Crick: The Musical”!  So long as they have the subplot of Crick being a very dirty old man and trying to feel up grad students.

    Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2007 08 18 at 01:10 PM • permalink

  9. I Can’t help but remember some director talking about the Indian film industry. The guy cracked me up when he said that if Rambo was made in Bollywood then Stallone would have to sing and dance in the Indian version.

    Posted by greene on 2007 08 18 at 01:39 PM • permalink

  10. If Richard McEnroe’s out there somewhere: Dude! It’s time for some more “Make Your Own Bollywood Movies”! Do you recollect the web site?

    Posted by paco on 2007 08 18 at 02:12 PM • permalink

  11. Never mind, Richard. I found it. Paco Productions presents: Bollywood Cowboys Against global Warming.

    Posted by paco on 2007 08 18 at 02:25 PM • permalink

  12. And don’t miss the second feature: “My Date With Gaia”

    Posted by paco on 2007 08 18 at 02:47 PM • permalink

  13. Or they could just, you know, stay home and do something about that Cloud Of Death they’re spreading over SW Asia…

    I’m just sayin’...

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 18 at 03:17 PM • permalink

  14. #9 Yes, that’s true, greene. I saw an Indian movie about one of the India-Pakistan wars and it had musical numbers in it.

    So there’s an Indian trench being attacked by Pakistanis and after the Indians fight off the attack, one of the leads is comforting a dying Pakistani soldier and the two are calling each other “brother” and the corpses get up and go into a dance number while the lead sings a song about war’s horrors. (It was a decent movie, too. I mean that.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 08 18 at 04:12 PM • permalink

  15. How many have to be aware of gorebal warmening before they stop this?

    Posted by Latino on 2007 08 18 at 04:34 PM • permalink

  16. What about Kevin07 the musical? The scene where he is shitfaced and gropping strippers will be a hoot.

    Posted by phil_b on 2007 08 18 at 05:04 PM • permalink

  17. There’s a rumor they’re going to remake “An Inconvenient Truth” as a musical.  Lots of clogging and square dancing.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 08 18 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  18. I’ve only seen one Indian musical. It was called Oh, Calcutta!
    Not quite what I expected from Bollywood, I must confess.

    Posted by Merlin on 2007 08 18 at 05:40 PM • permalink

  19. Plenty of bolly cash in this tour gig stuff

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 08 18 at 07:15 PM • permalink

  20. Sounds like another opportunity for Pacos entertainment subsidiary. Professional Actors&Choreography; Organisation.

    Posted by greene on 2007 08 18 at 07:31 PM • permalink

  21. #11 Paco, Mrs Skeeter wants to know if Paco Productions is interested in the movie rights to her next book.
    I used to knock Bollywood movies until I watched my first one; Bride and Prejudice.
    I now prefer to be entertained and amused by Bollywood rather than be enraged by Hollywood or Film Australia.

    Posted by Skeeter on 2007 08 18 at 08:08 PM • permalink

  22. Paco, I can’t get into the Bollywood site right now—something about wronwright and a hostage situation—but I want you to know, you’ve inspired me.

    And it will serve you right…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 18 at 08:19 PM • permalink

  23. #22 Richard: I eagerly await the next blockbuster from McEnroe Studios.

    #21 Skeeter: Paco Productions is always in the market for hot new properties. We’re currently tied up with our latest Bollywood blockbuster, Curry Sundown, but we’ll be needing new scripts soon.

    Posted by paco on 2007 08 18 at 10:21 PM • permalink

  24. PACO! in The Purloined Glacier!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 18 at 10:52 PM • permalink

  25. #24: Excellent, Richard! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of the little people who helped make me a star . . .

    Posted by paco on 2007 08 18 at 10:58 PM • permalink

  26. Paco! in A Farewell to Palms!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 18 at 11:00 PM • permalink

  27. Paco! in The Morning After…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 18 at 11:39 PM • permalink

  28. Paco Productions announced today that it would commence a hostile takeover bid for McEnroe Studios.

    Posted by paco on 2007 08 18 at 11:50 PM • permalink

  29. Paco! in Rabbit Test! the thrilling conclusion!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 19 at 12:15 AM • permalink

  30. Hey!  Have a look at Falsification Of The Atmospheric CO2 Greenhouse Effects Within The Frame Of Physics.

    It’s 114 pages but here’s the abstract.

    The atmospheric greenhouse effect, an idea that authors trace back to the traditional
    works of Fourier 1824, Tyndall 1861, and Arrhenius 1896, and which is still supported
    in global climatology, essentially describes a fictitious mechanism, in which a planetary
    atmosphere acts as a heat pump driven by an environment that is radiatively interacting
    with
    but radiatively equilibrated to the atmospheric system. According to the second law
    of thermodynamics such a planetary machine can never exist. Nevertheless, in almost
    all texts of global climatology and in a widespread secondary literature it is taken for
    granted that such mechanism is real and stands on a firm scientific foundation. In
    this paper the popular conjecture is analyzed and the underlying physical principles are
    clarified. By showing that (a) there are no common physical laws between the warming
    phenomenon in glass houses and the fictitious atmospheric greenhouse effects, (b) there
    are no calculations to determine an average surface temperature of a planet, (c) the
    frequently mentioned difference of 33 ºC is a meaningless number calculated wrongly,
    (d) the formulas of cavity radiation are used inappropriately, (e) the assumption of a
    radiative balance is unphysical, (f) thermal conductivity and friction must not be set to
    zero, the atmospheric greenhouse conjecture is falsified.

    The maths is way beyond me but here’s one thing I’ve learned.  The reason air warms up in a greenhouse is not because the glass lets in most wave-lengths of light and doesn’t let the long wave-lengths back out.  It’s simply because the sunlight coming in heats up the ground and whatever other surfaces are in there.  This heats up the surrounding air which then rises by convection.  The incoming cooler air is then heated in the same way and rises in its turn - and so on.  As long as no one opens the greenhouse door it will get hotter and hotter in there until the heat gained through sunlight shining in is balanced by the heat lost when the warm air bounces against the cooler glass.  This has been in the literature since 1909! 

    Another quote:

    “In summary, there is no atmospheric greenhouse effect, in particular CO2-greenhouse effect, in theoretical physics and engineering thermodynamics. Thus it is illegitimate to deduce predictions which provide a consulting solution for economics and intergovernmental policy.”

    Posted by Janice on 2007 08 19 at 06:03 AM • permalink

  31. Hey, I thought I had that Bollywood studio shut down.  I placed a padlock on the front gate myself.  I’d like to know how McEnroe gets past my full proof security systems.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 08 19 at 07:59 AM • permalink

  32. And by the way, I’d like to direct everyone’s attention to Janice’s intriguing discussion on the global warming thingy.  Do NOT access the links on McEnroe and paco’s comments.  They, um, possibly have viruses uploaded to porn sites.  And macrame knitting sites.  And stuff like that.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 08 19 at 08:02 AM • permalink

  33. #31, here’s a clue:  a hefty bribe and a wax impression. 

    And did you know the door to the shed where you keep all the cloud-seeding equipment is hanging open?  Is that all you kept in there?  Because, it smells suspiciously like mead, and there’s a hella storm in the Caribbean right now.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 08 19 at 10:14 AM • permalink

  34. RebeccaH—Wasn’t that big a bribe.  When wronwright infiltrates he REALLY gets into character: he’s cheap and easy….

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 08 19 at 04:23 PM • permalink

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