<< "HUMAN INSIDE AN INJURED-CHICKEN COSTUME" ~ MAIN ~ STEAMING CROCK OF JUAN >>

TAKE TWO

Nothing wrong with the Ned Lamont/Daily Kos ad that a little script doctoring can’t fix:

Ned: Hi, I’m Ned Lamont, a flat-eyed plank of a man to whom you will not warm immediately nor over time. George Bush is wrong!

(Cut to wider shot)

Ned: As a small business guy, I can tell you that my wife bought all this furniture. My testosterone level has halved in the ten seconds I’ve been sitting on Laura Ashley’s personal couch here.

(Cut to window: Markos Moulitsas of famous Daily Kos fame seen leading gang of hyperanxious homeless people in door-to-door Ritalin search)

Ned: I understand that running for Senate can be tough on a family, especially yours, what with having to watch this stupid ad, and ... what the hell?

(Cut to door as Moulitsas bursts in while his homeless friends commit continuity errors in the background)

Moulitsas: Ned! We saw the commercial! We love it, and we’re all to here to volunteer!

Ned: This commercial? But we’re still shooting!

(Cut to panning close-up of Moulitsas—as close as federal self-worship regulations will allow)

Moulitsas: This is important. Look, everybody’s here, we’re ...

Ned: No, wait a minute. (Ned’s upbeat tone fades) You say you’ve seen this commercial? This very one? A commercial that is yet to be completed, let alone broadcast?

Moulitsas: Er ...

Ned: That just doesn’t make sense. In fact, it’s ridiculous. You’re telling me that all these people—including Joni Mitchell’s baby sister, currently having a grand mal seizure behind me—have seen a commercial that hasn’t even been made, and that this ... this ... this hallucination has somehow compelled them to invade my house? In order to volunteer? For a start, why wouldn’t you go to my campaign office instead? You know, where the actual work gets done? Nothing about this adds up at all.

Moulitsas: (downcast, looking at shoes; his friends fall silent) Well, I ... I guess we ...

(Cut to wide shot during extended, awkward pause)

Ned: (sighs, looks with disgust into camera) I’m Ned Lamont, and apparently I’m living in a some kind of time-folding, moron-infested parallel universe.

Moulitsas: (suddenly brightens, along with his supporters) And so are we!

Posted by Tim B. on 05/20/2006 at 01:52 PM
  1. Hi, I’m Ned Lamont, a flat-eyed plank of a man to whom you will not warm immediately nor over time.

    In other words, John Kerry Lite.

    No, wait a minute. (Ned’s upbeat tone fades) You say you’ve seen this commercial? This very one? A commercial that is yet to be completed, let alone broadcast?

    Yes.  It’s called getting ahead of the news cycle, an old leftist ploy.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 05 20 at 02:45 PM • permalink

  2. Comic gold, Tim, comic gold. Iowahawkworthy.

    Posted by paco on 2006 05 20 at 02:56 PM • permalink


  3. This is our Party Chairman howie dean. We call him blockhead…:).

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 05 20 at 03:08 PM • permalink

  4. We are all puppets of a socialist/communist party.

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 05 20 at 03:12 PM • permalink

  5. The only Lanont I’ve ever heard about is a buddy in Colorado solooked at the add to see who you all were talking about. Fuck-campaign season is starting - Fuck-I’ve got to get out of here.Fuck fuck fuck

    Posted by lmassie on 2006 05 20 at 03:38 PM • permalink

  6. Oh, ma-a-n, Tim, I am laughing so hard I scared the cat!

    Posted by ushie on 2006 05 20 at 03:40 PM • permalink

  7. Markos (who used to pronounce his name mar-CUSS) is part of that nutroots thingy all the cool kids are mocking about.

    Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 05 20 at 04:54 PM • permalink

  8. No wonder adherence to deconstructionism is a manditory element of modern liberalism.

    Posted by Grimmy on 2006 05 20 at 05:30 PM • permalink

  9. Aw, leave the guy alone.  He’s just a shadow of himself anyway.

    <inspired by Imassie #6>

    Posted by yojimbo on 2006 05 20 at 05:31 PM • permalink

  10. Mock if you must, but DailyKos reports that Lamont is CRUSHING Joe Lieberman:

    Ned Lamont is CRUSHING Joe Lieberman.  Lieberman’s expensive tent and lavish support and paid armies of staffers weren’t enough.  His side is incredibly dejected - their crowd of thunderstick cheerers, who cheered whenever a town went lopsided for Joe, have disbanded and are chatting.  The Lieberman supporters aren’t even dejected, they are bored.

    Lieberman has $5 million of a smear and slime campaign coming.  This is a big win. Time to saddle up.

    The BIG WIN here? He got enough state party delegate votes to get his name on the primary ballot without having to collect 15,000 signatures from registered Democrats. Why, Lieberman might as well concede now.

    I scanned the comments to see if anyone was crediting the BIG WIN to Markos’ ad. No one did (no one even mentioned it—the less said the better I guess), but this was typical of the euphoria:

    Hey, every prediction I heard said that no way was Lamont going to get the 15% required to get on the primary ballot so 33% is amazing.

    Perhaps the first rumble of the Tsnaumi of ‘06 was today….and the second will come in the CA-50 on 6/6/06.

    Yo, DC! The barbarians are beginning to form at the Gates!

    The barbarians are coming! The barbarians are coming! Maybe Joe should change his campaign slogan to “après moi, le tsnaumi.”

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 05 20 at 06:09 PM • permalink

  11. The message I took from the commercial was that Ned Lamont appeals to weirdos with no individuality whose political sophistication extends to prancing about on the orders of some whey faced dunce like Kos.

    Am I missing something?

    PS. Note to everyone- Don’t forget to go to Kos’s site when Lamont’s inevitable humiliation occurs, gloating is wrong but necessary.

    Posted by Ross on 2006 05 20 at 06:44 PM • permalink

  12. It’s wonderful.  Either Kos gets Krushed, or the Democratic Party moves so far left it gets crushed.

    Posted by Warmongering Lunatic on 2006 05 20 at 07:06 PM • permalink

  13. I was worried that I was missing something, as each time I’ve tried to view the ad my pc siezes up.

    Then I read the comments here and realise that I don’t need to.

    Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 05 20 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  14. Nilknarf, my reaction was very similar to your PC’s.

    Posted by Ross on 2006 05 20 at 07:27 PM • permalink

  15. Can someone please tell me what Lamont’s campaign is thinking? I mean I can see taking Kos’ money and giving him a lot of web stroking. But putting his face in a commercial? Face it, outside of blogs, nobody know who Kos is, and that works well for him. Now the Leiberman campaign merely needs to mention “Oh and by the way, that weasely guy in their ad? That’s Markos Mousalaits (whatever), proprietor of The Daily Kos website, where he once wrote of the 4 dead contractors in Fallujah, ‘Screw ‘em’.”

    Oh yea, that’ll help.

    Posted by TomB on 2006 05 20 at 07:33 PM • permalink

  16. and apparently I’m living in a some kind of time-folding, moron-infested parallel universe.

    OK, we’ve accounted for wronwrights 9-21…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 20 at 09:52 PM • permalink

  17. #11 - Kyda, I went to Kos to check that out, and it’s hilarious. Here’s the numbers on Lamont’s crushing victory:

    Ned Lamont - 505 (33.4%)

    Joe Lieberman - 1004 (66.5%)

    Here’s hoping Democrats enjoy such crushing victories over Republicans in 2006 and 2008.

    The reality-based community, folks.

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 05 20 at 10:02 PM • permalink

  18. He got enough state party delegate votes to get his name on the primary ballot without having to collect 15,000 signatures from registered Democrats.

    In other words, he couldn’t find just 15,000 people in his own party willing to even nominate him?  This is the left’s idea of a grassroots juggernaut?

    Posted by Achillea on 2006 05 20 at 10:07 PM • permalink

  19. This is something the LL’s have been doing since 04.  Not losing as badly as was expected is declared to be a stunning upset.  That is the subjective reality they are comfortable with, and who can blame them.

    Beautifully done, Tim.  I’m still sniggering under my breath.

    Posted by saltydog on 2006 05 20 at 10:17 PM • permalink

  20. Achillea — Putting up a candidate who DOESN’T NEED the votes of the people is the DEFINITION of a good Kos candidate, such is his love for Democrats and democracy…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 20 at 10:28 PM • permalink

  21. warmongering lunatic — I’m a glass half overflowing kinda guy.  I’m holding out for a two-fer.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 20 at 11:06 PM • permalink

  22. WHilst I appreciate Tim and Allahpundits efforts, this ad is pretty much self satirizing. On the same page we have Ned Lamonts “underdog” commercial - which is just as funny, some genius has decided that it would be a great idea if Ned Lamont’s candidacy was pictured as a toy cocker spaniel yapping at a Joe Leiberman sign. Now I find most Karl Rove conspiracy theories as cazy as most sane people - but this time I just could not help thinking, surely the idea that Ned Lamont is a Karl Rove plant has to be more plausible than the idea that there are people this stupid.

    On the page where these ads appear there is this rather plaintive endorsement.

    ” Please forward these ads to your friends. The success of the campaign depends on our ability to spread messages like these virally to friends, family and networks both online and offline. What would the launch of a blog be, without a bug? Comments are buggy… thanks for the emails, working on ‘em and they’ll be back. “

    http://nedlamont.com/blog/168/on-the-air

    Posted by genwolf on 2006 05 20 at 11:20 PM • permalink

  23. Comments will be back as soon as they’re sure they won’t be 90% hysterically laughing RWDB’s…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 20 at 11:25 PM • permalink

  24. Hmmm.

    Just when you think things have gotten as crazy as they’ll ever get.

    Kos comes strolling in.

    Posted by memomachine on 2006 05 20 at 11:34 PM • permalink

  25. There was something about Kos on video that reminded me of someone else, and I couldn’t quite place it. Then it hit me:  the stoned college kid in the car from the movie SuperTroopers. As anyone who has seen the movie knows, the bug-eyed kid has just ingested a bag of shrooms and a bunch of pot.

    Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2006 05 21 at 01:30 AM • permalink

  26. Not losing as badly as was expected is declared to be a stunning upset. 

    John Kerry got the second-highest vote total in US history!

    Posted by Dave S. on 2006 05 21 at 01:41 AM • permalink

  27. The clip I’m talking about with the Kos look- and behave-alike is here. Tim Blair in his MX-5 makes a guest appearance. Play the first eight minutes.

    Posted by Ernst Blofeld on 2006 05 21 at 02:50 AM • permalink

  28. That post was so funny that I almost forgot what I was going to say. From “It’s Not Shaping Up To Be A Party For Lieberman” by Kevin F. Rennie, Hartford Courant, back on January 22, 2006, at
    http://www.courant.com/hc-renniecol0122.artjan22,0,1685433.story?track=mostemailedlink

    Greenwich millionaire Ned Lamont is strongly considering a challenge against Lieberman for the Democratic nomination to the Senate. Lamont, whose active interest in politics has been limited to developing a dead-on JFK imitation, a run for the state Senate in 1990, service on the state’s pension advisory board, raising money for Bill Clinton and working with the liberal think tank the Brookings Institution on budget issues, may have found his unlikely moment.

    Did you catch that—“a dead-on JFK imitation”—(I mean, aside from the “dead Kennedy” allusion)—is there a New England Dem pol, besides Joe Lieberman, who DOESN’T practice imitating JFK? And sometimes I even ‘ave me doubts about Joe.

    Posted by ForNow on 2006 05 21 at 05:07 AM • permalink

  29. Oh great, another Kennedy wannabe.

    Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 05 21 at 07:52 AM • permalink

  30. Actually, ForNow, what I caught in that description was “Greenwich millionaire”.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 05 21 at 08:41 AM • permalink

  31. But he’s a Man of the People! He Cares About You! Just don’t get on his manicured lawn. (The Kos Kids were careful to stay on the paved path, because they knew what would happen if one blade of grass was besmirched by their plebeian feet.)

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 05 21 at 10:57 AM • permalink

  32. “Yes, I am a millionaire with no real political credentials… but I am also a Man of the People!  And to prove it, here’s what I think you all look like!”

    And I say this having only seen frame grabs (old computer, sue me), but doesn’t a big deal Democratic organizer and fundraiser like Kos know any black people?

    OK, granted, a black person creeping around a Greenwich millionaire’s back yard is gonna wind up in a landfill faster than a Freedom Rider in Alabama, but still…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 21 at 12:23 PM • permalink

  33. Somehow I doubt that ‘Ned’ is as much of a ladies man as JFK (well, not even John F’n Kerry, probably).  So what part of the ‘dead-on’ imitation does he do?  I’m betting it’s the multiple drugs, from the looks of him. 

    I still think the commercial looks like an incredibly gay Up With People meets Burger King weirdness with a sort of sexually ambiguous ‘guy’ on a couch. 

    I don’t even want to think about how he became a millionaire, given all those hyper kids behind him.

    Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 05 21 at 12:39 PM • permalink

  34. #33, obviously Kos himself is the token diversifier.  No self-respecting black person would be caught dead in that hyperactively nerdish political ad.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 05 21 at 03:28 PM • permalink

  35. Did someone mention john kerry? Well Flipper, Flopped again…

    John Kerry Supports, Opposes Border Fence

    News Max

    Posted by El Cid on 2006 05 21 at 03:57 PM • permalink

  36. The East coast answer to the former Mr. Huffington.

    Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 05 21 at 10:32 PM • permalink

  37. Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.