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Maureen Dowd’s Great Australian Manhunt continues:
“When I was 20, I fell in love with an Australian hotel manager in Dublin called Rowan. After that, I wanted to emigrate to Australia but my parents made me go home instead.
“Now I’m here at last. And if they can take a strong, sassy, saucy woman, Australian men should please apply.”
Among the applicants:
If she can answer this question I’ll let her have me. How many blokes does it take to open a beer can? None. Maureen should of had it opened when she brought it to me. She better be able to cook and clean also.
You know what would make Dowd even saucier? A fall from a great height.
Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 02 28 at 11:32 PM • permalinkthats a shocking photo of her - look at the age wrinkes.. the arms….
Times up Mozza ! - forget men and keep some cats
Posted by knuckleheadwatch on 2006 02 28 at 11:35 PM • permalink#3 Yeah, you can drink ‘em pretty, but you can’t drink ‘em young!
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 02 28 at 11:41 PM • permalinkOn further reading some of those replies from Aussie “men” it sounds like she’d probably be doing us all a big favour if she first swept one of them off their feet, then swept them off overseas and removed them from the damn Aussie gene pool….
Talk about a bunch that sound a wee bit p*ssy whipped from their upbringings in feminist households blah, blah, blah!!!!!
very true Cas - you can see by the look on her face what shes really after is a good thwacking
Posted by knuckleheadwatch on 2006 02 28 at 11:42 PM • permalinkvery very true Vanguard ! I’ll use that one!~
Posted by knuckleheadwatch on 2006 02 28 at 11:44 PM • permalinkMind u i could probably handle what those aussie expats had going up in Singas on that insight program…. maid looking after the kids and cooking the meals, the wife off earning all the dosh, and u just left to drink, play sports and hang out with mates….
it might get a bit dull after a bit, but i could think of worse things to have to put up with….
Andrea Dworkin’s former husband is available.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2006 02 28 at 11:52 PM • permalink“she’s single-handedly responsible for raising feminism from the dead”
This is a joke, right? Did women suddenly become downtrodden again only to be rescued by her and I missed it?
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 02 28 at 11:56 PM • permalinkTell her she can have Bob Ellis.
With Margo Kingston - in lieu of the steak knives.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 03 01 at 12:02 AM • permalinkAny “union” that happens here will be a case of mutually assured desperation.
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 03 01 at 12:07 AM • permalink#15
The thing is Mike there are women in country towns in Aust with little or no access to birth control, family planning services etc.
There are also young women in Australia who are send back to the old country and married at 16 (wanna take a guess at their religion?)
There are also young women in Australia who are trafficed / conned into working as Prostitutes under debt servitude.
There are ALOT of real issues for Feminism to fix, but Modo is still fixated on the Monica Lewisky scandal of what 8 - 10 years ago???? Hello!!!
Posted by knuckleheadwatch on 2006 03 01 at 12:09 AM • permalinkCoulda sworn I saw her picture on alt.com…
Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 01 at 12:17 AM • permalinkI’m willing to bet she was only talking about American feminism. She (and many others who should know better) seems to have a very large blind spot when it comes to the treatment of women in Islam.
Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2006 03 01 at 12:23 AM • permalinkApplicants wanted, eh? Well, Maureen, I normally find batshit-insane activist types a complete turn-off, but send me some naked pics and wait by the phone…you might get lucky.
Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 03 01 at 12:35 AM • permalinkThom Lyons is the ONLY man for MoDo! A Green AND a war hero…?
” . . .a strong, sassy, saucy woman . . .”
Then watch “Las Vegas”. MoDo is just an ugly divorce waiting to happen…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 01 at 12:40 AM • permalinkHmmm- Well to do Americano woman = nice weekly allowance and a Green card for me.
It’s a dirty job but I’m puttin’ up me hand.Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 03 01 at 12:42 AM • permalinkHow about matching up David meeting up with MoDo? They’re about on the same level intellectually.
I’d suggest Bryla, but he’s already married.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 01 at 12:54 AM • permalinkWhoops! I meant “David HEIDELBERG”. Sorry!
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 01 at 12:55 AM • permalinkI got 2 words for the guy who takes MoDo out on a date: Dirty Sanchez.
You know if some guy, any guy, came around to a decent ocuntry like Oz openly trolling for ass like MoDo is, based on some unfulfilled wet dream he had 30 years ago, he’d be rightly rounded up as a serial pervert. What say you Oz? She’s not so bad that a set of handcuffs wouldn’t help!
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 03 01 at 01:09 AM • permalinkHmmm.
Speaking as an American I must simply say:
Thank GOD she’s down your way!
Would one of you blokes mind taking her off our hands?
Posted by memomachine on 2006 03 01 at 01:22 AM • permalinkThe thing is Mike there are women in country towns in Aust with little or no access to birth control, family planning services etc.
You mean they have no access to the word “no”? Heck, this is a problem. They’re the best birth control device in existence, and they’re free. I’ll ship a crate of “noes” down there pronto. Until then, advise the young ladies to use the aspirin treatment (take one aspirin, place between knees, hold knees firmly together to keep the aspirin in place).
PS: you might want to check the closets of your local progressive “feminist” group for the various noes and spines they’ve removed from young women throughout the years in their campaign to make every woman on earth available to any passing male (under pain of being considered “frigid,” “virgins,” etc.), despite the fact that studies have shown that women who don’t have sex are not, in fact, in danger of dying from some painful disease or going mad. We let this campaign of theft go on for too long in the US and we still have a huge problem with bevies of young spineless women who can’t say “no.” Don’t let it happen to your country!
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 03 01 at 01:23 AM • permalinkOr else you can simply take Ms. Dowd on a tour of these remote towns. She’s like the anti-sex at this point.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 03 01 at 01:25 AM • permalinkshe couldn’t even answer the damn simple question of what she was looking for in a man
Low standards?
Posted by nofixedabode on 2006 03 01 at 01:44 AM • permalinkHas anyone let her know that this spunkrat is on the market, and he’s got a really big clock.
Is this some schtick she’s doing to sell books or is she really that desparate? For cripes sakes, can’t you guys at least get her laid while she’s down there?
she’s single-handedly responsible for raising feminism from the dead No, I’m afraid what you’re seeing is the pale ghost of feminism past, Murray.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 01 at 02:13 AM • permalinkI thought Maureen was dead chic, sophisticated and contained. Everything that Australian feminists are not, of course. I agreed with some of the things she said on Insiders (eg about “slut” culture). I don’t read her work and I only might buy her book, so I don’t know what she generally writes about. I think it’s impossible to make a list of the things you look for in a bloke or you end up sounding like a contestant on Perfect Match. “I like intelligent men who like to go to the disco and also have a sense of humour, especially at the disco.” Habib, I think I’m losing my eyesight because I thought you said he has got a big dock.
Posted by Major Anya on 2006 03 01 at 02:15 AM • permalinkBy the way, Maussie might go back to the USA and tell everybody that all Aussie men are like Peter Fitzsimmons.
God help ya.
Posted by Major Anya on 2006 03 01 at 02:19 AM • permalinkSorry, it was Insight not Insiders.
Sorry, can’t get Glenn Milne’s hairdo off my brain.
Posted by Major Anya on 2006 03 01 at 02:22 AM • permalinkIf she can’t find a man, there’s this alternative. She seems to have all the qualifications.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 03 01 at 02:24 AM • permalinkSeriously, Oz, please keep MoDo down there.
What will it take? Money? Guns ‘n’ ammo? A nuclear aircraft carrier? A tanker of Kentucky bourbon? Your very own NFL franchise, complete with cheerleaders? Just the cheerleaders? PLEASE TELL US YOUR PRICE!!!!
For God’s sake, you’re our allies, ain’tcha?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 03 01 at 02:43 AM • permalink#51 PW:
To paraphrase the old saying, if Clooney is the answer then it must be a bloody stupid question. The answer is in fact Chuck Norris. :-D
Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 03 01 at 03:29 AM • permalink#49 The_Real_Jeffs
As it happens, we DO have a vacancy for a mindless, ugly, leftist relic of the
1870s1970s.Germain Greer has gone (horrors!) MONARCHIST after slobbering over QE2’s feet at the Palace last week.
Hmmmmm…. lets see….
Guns ‘n’ ammo, a nuclear aircraft carrier, a tanker of Kentucky bourbon? Tick (as long as all for the military)
NFL franchise. - ya gotta be kidding. Haven’t you heard that “Aussie Rules”?
Cheerleaders. Tick
Look, throw in Rummy on loan and we’ve got a deal. Of course, to replace GG we’ll have to trans-ship MoDo off to the UK, but you shouldn’t have a problem with that, right?
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 01 at 05:08 AM • permalinkHi, my name is Mohammed. I am looking for a anti Western red haired woman who is sexy, saucy and sassy….under the fetching blue Burqaa I have just bought. P.S. While you think men are unnecessary I think clitorises are unnecessary. Don’t worry if you have one I will organise for it to be removed before you enter the married bliss with a real man as is haf person bride property.
P.S. To prove my sincerity I have a dowry of $500 I can pay to your brother or uncle - surely your father is no longer alive. What offended by $500 I thought it generous given your age?
Yours Mohammed.
Posted by platey mates on 2006 03 01 at 05:58 AM • permalinkUmm, Paaaaco…
We might have a little problem with Wronwright. Minion-net reporting indicates that he saw your post No.20 and ran screaming for the time machine with his fangs out and hair on fire.
Random time coordinates were punched and we have not seen him since.
You might have broken him. Again.
Should we check out the bronze age mead factory upriver from Ur of the Chaldees??
Oh, and Habib (No.42), that suggestion is just wrong in so many ways…...Anyhoo, I checked out MoDo’s picture. Urk.
I just found out where hard-ons go to die!MarkL
Canberra#38: Absolutely inspired lyrics, Dave S.
#59: If I know my man, he’s out there right now, stiffening that upper lip, trying on one of those neat hats with one side of the brim turned up, pulling on those desert boots, and just generally girding his loins (twice would be advisable, considering the assignment), with the same grim resolution of those soldiers who charged at Gallipoli (although, admittedly, with poorer prospects for survival). Wronwright - a Real American Hero.
Two things you need to know about Maureen Dowd: first, she’s single-handedly responsible for raising feminism from the dead.
What’s her second trick? Journalism?
Posted by chinesearithmetic on 2006 03 01 at 11:59 AM • permalink#58, Mo! You might have something there. MoDo is definitely fishing in the wrong country. She should go to Saudi Arabia or some other
shitholelike that and advertise. Why, she could get dragged off to an alley and have all the action she can handle in no time! After all, they don’t know what their women look like, so they have no standards.Memo to: Paco
Subject: MoDoGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 01 at 02:11 PM • permalink#69: Pssst! Wronwright! Over here, behind the bullet-proof glass.
Stop pounding on it, you’re going to hurt yourself. Listen. This gig will absolutely make your career. Karl will completely forget about those little episodes involving helicopters and time machines (including that time you went back to assassinate Adolph Hitler and killed Rudolph Hitler by mistake; true, it was a crushing blow to the production of German bassoons, but of somewhat dubious military value). No matter. You will be The. Man.
Here’s all you need to do. Put on the Aussie gear, give her the famous Wronwright grin (you know the thing; that come-hither Errol Flynn leer), take her out to a likely-looking swamp, first making sure that this woman is nowhere in sight, then introduce her to the biggest crocodile you can find. A cake walk. And Medal of Freedom? In the bag.
Are we sure she’s even into men??
On Insight the other night she was making so many insulting generalisations, it was hard to keep track. Her claim about American women’s shallow obsession with their looks and plastic surgery, with which she obviously disapproved, was a generalisation of particular interest, considering she once dated actor Michael Douglas and has he had, like, tonnes of plastic surgery!
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Watching Insight the other night, for all the mouthing off she was doing, she couldn’t even answer the damn simple question of what she was looking for in a man….
now she just seems to have narrowed it down to maybe an Aussie male has she… all becoz of one she met 20-30 years ago???? in Ireland??? i think a bit like Germaine Greer, aussie blokes would be well advised to give this sassy, saucy fruitcake a wide berth….