<< BLOGGERS BUSTED ~ MAIN ~ POLLSTERS TOLD >>

SUCKER MARKET IDENTIFIED

The guilt-inducing set up:

The Film Industry is one of the highest greenhouse emitting industries.

And the sting:

For individuals we offer a suite of offset packages to make your personal fight against climate change as simple as possible.

Toni Collette will be powerless to resist.

(Via Maurie S.)

Posted by Tim B. on 04/11/2007 at 11:11 AM
  1. I really need to crack into this carbon credit scam scheme sales pitch plan. For the Earth, you know.

    Not the profit.

    Oh no, not the profit.

    Does anyone have Toni Collette’s number so I can offer her an, um, discount?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 11 at 11:25 AM • permalink

  2. Might I humbly suggest Personally Adjusted Carbon Offsets™ rather than Carbon Planet’s, obviously, inferior product? PACO™ guarantees that no trees will be harmed in printing your carbon credit certificate. (We use polar bear skins instead.)

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 11 at 11:42 AM • permalink

  3. #2 Bwahaha! That PACO corporation needs to be nationalised!
    I fart in the general direction of Climate Change.

    Posted by Observer on 2007 04 11 at 12:15 PM • permalink

  4. From Carbon Planet’s web page:

    3.2 How much do carbon credits cost?

    Carbon Planet is retailing Forests NSW NGAC carbon credits for AU$23 (including GST) per NGAC (i.e. carbon credit)

    So if I’m a rich former Vice President of the US or a former Presidential candidate married to an unattractive yet wealthy widow and I want to maintain my megahomes and vacation villas and luxury cars and private jets and so forth, I can do so without carrying any guilt by ponying up 1/2 of 1% of my wealth to purchase carbon indulgences.  But if I’m an average schmuck, I have to sit still on a chair in a dark room, hoping my exhalation doesn’t contribute too much CO2?

    How is that fair?

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 04 11 at 12:20 PM • permalink

  5. I see they’re apparently offering assinationhttp://www.carbonplanet.com/home/shop_lifetime.php

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 04 11 at 12:22 PM • permalink

  6. #3 It’s a global company. And there’s a PACO product or service for every situation.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 11 at 12:23 PM • permalink

  7. Worthy of Henry Gondorff.

    Posted by C.L. on 2007 04 11 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  8. Hey, I have 4 trees in my backyard.

    Carbon credtits!
    Get yer carbon credits here!
    Become guilt free,
    Rent a tree
    For fee,

    But seriously,
    how does that tree
    in Australie
    save the world through me
    giving an intermediary
    some easy money???

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 04 11 at 12:27 PM • permalink

  9. PACO™ guarantees that no trees will be harmed in printing your carbon credit certificate. (We use polar bear skins instead.)

    Polar bear skins? I hope they’re trimmed with baby seal fur and framed with genuine ivory.

    Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 04 11 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  10. #9 If they’re not, people buying carbon credits from PACO are getting ripped off. There’s no way PACO would ever sell something dodgy, is there?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 11 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  11. #10 None at all, Ash_. PACO offers a Personal Assessment of your Carbon Offsets.

    There is another way, though, to help the Entertainment Industry with its carbon problem.  Hand Madonna over to Al-Qaeda.  Either: 1) They, um, “take care” of her or 2) They immediately surrender on condition we take her back.  Either way, at least one problem gets solve.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 04 11 at 01:13 PM • permalink

  12. #11 Rbj, can we throw in Cher as well? Kind of like a PACO discount deal?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 11 at 01:16 PM • permalink

  13. Worthy of Henry Gondorff.

    I will admit to a demented appreciation of the talented grifter, the guy who can score with any con off any mark. But this stuff is downright pathetic with its targets the kind of hapless patsies that Barnum assured us were born every minute. Where’s the art in that? It’s kind of fun to see them take on the fatuous film industry, though. I wonder how much it costs for the average production to erase its carbon footprint. Must be a bundle.

    I, too, would be happy to plant additional trees on my property (or, go to Vegas where the lights blaze and the slot machines hum—ever felt the heat that comes off one of those things—24/7/365) if someone wants to send me the money.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 11 at 01:36 PM • permalink

  14. $23 for a carbon credit. Pretty cheap compared to nuking that ice pack that’s starving those fuzzy little otters. By the way, where does the money go? Algore’s mining company or to pay his share of the pollution fines for his Occidental Petroleum stock?

    Posted by GaryS on 2007 04 11 at 02:02 PM • permalink

  15. They need to change their name to P.T. Barnum Carbon Credit Ltd.

    Posted by Diggs on 2007 04 11 at 02:16 PM • permalink

  16. #12 Absolutely.  I would even suggest throwing in Rosie O’Donnell, but quite apart from being a Geneva Conventions violation, I do consider myself a gentleman and there are some things one just doesn’t due.  Islamic terrorists do not deserve that fate.

    Posted by rbj1 on 2007 04 11 at 02:27 PM • permalink

  17. #16, if we threw in Rosie O’Donnell, they wouldn’t possibly accept the deal. We can at least attempt to sell Madonna as some kind of Christian, as ridiculous as the idea seems. But Rosie? Al Qaeda aren’t completely stupid.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 11 at 02:37 PM • permalink

  18. I am really pissed off that I didn’t think of this.  Give me money… no more guilt!

    It’s like a confessional for the Gaia religion.

    Me: Mother I have sinned.  I drove my Hummer to work twice last week.

    Priestess: Buy two carbon credits and accuse Bush of an atrocity.

    Me: Thank you Mother.

    That’s it.  You can now move on guilt free.

    Posted by Keith on 2007 04 11 at 02:52 PM • permalink

  19. Keith, I share your regret.

    If only I’d seen the potential in this years ago…

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 11 at 03:02 PM • permalink

  20. We can at least attempt to sell Madonna as some kind of Christian…

    ‘Fraid not. Madonna embraces Kabbalah. And as long as we’re speaking of…Climate change concert star Madonna accused of hypocrisy

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 11 at 03:12 PM • permalink

  21. I hope they’re trimmed with baby seal fur and framed with genuine ivory.

    Sorry, Rob, we can’t get the ivory any more so we’ve switched to rhino horn hair. The seals are still on, however. And re. PACO™ and the otters, what do you think we feed to the polar bears? And sales rep rbj1 will be pleased to help you.

    Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 11 at 03:16 PM • permalink

  22. Kyda, I did say attempt! After all, the al-Qaeda members may have never had Madonna music inflicted on them.

    If that’s the case, they’re lucky bastards.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 11 at 03:18 PM • permalink

  23. I’ve been working my way backwards and didn’t realize the Madonna story had been covered in a previous thread. Apologies for the redundancy.

    Kyda, I did say attempt!

    True, Ash. We could show them a picture of her up on that cross if you think it would help.

    Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 11 at 04:25 PM • permalink

  24. Take a gander at this line from CarbonPlanet’s page listing their carbon credit packages.  It’s in reference to their Starter Pack:

    This is a great option for those who want to see how they feel when they buy carbon credits and to think about the issue some more.

    How classic is that?  See, it’s not about how well carbon credits work or how truly meaningful they are (if at all) in addressing so-called “global warming”  - it’s about how it makes you “feel”.  That’s all it ever is with liberal do-gooders (as opposed to practical do-gooders) - how does it make you feel?  It doesn’t matter if it helps a single soul, but if it gives you a nice, solid case of smug (hat tip to South Park) then it’s worthwhile.

    Posted by kcom on 2007 04 11 at 04:48 PM • permalink

  25. The climate change-cum-global warming industry is already enormous and very, very lucrative.

    Did a quick search on Carbon Planet (established in South Australia in 2005) and its two founders, Ross Williams and David Sag, neither one of whom has much in the way of a scientific or environmental background - the former in economics, research and training and the latter most recently in computer graphics and design.

    What is of interest is their website response to the question “Is Carbon Planet a charity?”:

    No. Carbon Planet is not a charity. Carbon Planet is a business whose mission is to enable every individual and organisation on the planet to eliminate their global warming impact. When we started Carbon Planet, we had to decide whether it was going to be a company, a charity, or a non-profit organisation. We chose a company structure because it could be financed by investment, would require less paperwork, would be a more flexible entity, and because it one day might make us some money…

    Posted by ann j on 2007 04 11 at 06:33 PM • permalink

  26. Is Toni Collete still around?  She was supposed to slash her wrists after Howard won the last election.  Liar.

    Posted by Do not beat around the Dubya on 2007 04 11 at 07:10 PM • permalink

  27. “This is a great option for those who want to see how they feel when they buy carbon credits and to think about the issue some more.”

    This also sounds a lot like a drug pusher trying to get someone hooked on his product.  Just take a bit and “see how it makes you feel.”  No strings attached, of course.

    Posted by kcom on 2007 04 11 at 07:16 PM • permalink

  28. kcom, I’d say it would be very good at making you feel poorer.

    Posted by Dminor on 2007 04 11 at 08:02 PM • permalink

  29. Hell, my movies save so much money on wardrobe they don’t need credits…!

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 04 11 at 08:09 PM • permalink

  30. #25, from memory, Dave Sag was a radical leftist and student politician at Adelaide University in the 90s. Interesting that he’s ended up fleecing gullible leftists for their cash.

    Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 04 11 at 10:06 PM • permalink

  31. #24

    This is a great option for those who want to see how they feel when they buy carbon credits and to think about the issue some more.”

    How classic is that?  See, it’s not about how well carbon credits work or how truly meaningful they are (if at all) in addressing so-called “global warming” - it’s about how it makes you “feel”.

    And it’s doing something.

    Posted by kae on 2007 04 11 at 11:09 PM • permalink

  32. Kyda, the cross would definitely help.

    Especially if we tell them that we were crucifying her for their sins.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 12 at 02:08 AM • permalink

  33. Interestingly, the price of carbon credits in Europe is rapidly approaching its correct market value: Zero.  These guys are rip-off merchants.

    Posted by Brett_McS on 2007 04 12 at 05:18 AM • permalink

  34. #20: A Jew. A fake Jew, but to al-Qaeda, a Jew.

    Hmm…

    Posted by Rajan R on 2007 04 12 at 06:12 AM • permalink

  35. Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.

Members:
Login | Register | Member List

Please note: you must use a real email address to register. You will be sent an account activation email. Clicking on the url in the email will automatically activate your account. Until you do so your account will be held in the "pending" list and you won't be able to log in. All accounts that are "pending" for more than one week will be deleted.