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SUBLIME TO RIDICULOUS TO COSMICALLY TRAGIC

Bunch of environmental conferences in Australia recently. Alan Oxley reports:

For the first time in Australia, Australia’s leading advocates of the Kyoto model were required to publicly defend the “official” UN science supporting Kyoto to their peers. They were not successful. Doubts about the UN science are increasing in Australia.

Meanwhile, the Kyoto Protocol is moribund. This was crystal clear at the UN climate change conference in Argentina last November. The US, Italy, China and developing countries decided Kyoto would not extend beyond 2012. Overtures by the EU to extend it were rejected.

Most greens pretend this did not occur. They also ignore something else. Most governments around the world are not persuaded by the claims that global warming presents a cataclysmic threat. It they were, they would not have walked away from the Kyoto Protocol.

Meanwhile, in Kyoto-exempt China:

Angry club-wielding villagers clashed with police in riot gear, overturned police cars and hurled rocks at policemen holed up in a local high school, villagers and local officials said by telephone.

The women were protesting against pollution from nearby chemical factories.

Get to work, Greenpeace! Take on the corrupt commie chemical companies! And now, some serious environmental news:

A deadly parasite has destroyed the second-largest producer of the internationally-renowned Sydney rock oyster.

And there are fears it may wipe out the entire Sydney rock oyster industry unless it is contained.

“The commercial oyster industry at the Hawkesbury is finished,” said Roger Clark, president of the Oyster Farmers’ Association of NSW.

This … this is … I’m sorry. I can’t find the words.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/11/2005 at 10:06 AM
  1. Look for dead silence from the Greens on China. 

    The oyster thing, though, is a point for legitimate concern.  It’s amusing to laugh: “oh, no, a funny-sounding animal we never heard of died”, but the similar near-destruction of the American shrimping trade caused serious economic hardship in several coastal states.

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 04 11 at 11:19 AM • permalink

  2. Tim, just go for a swim at the beach.  When your sinuses loosen up from the salt water, just swallow your snot instead of spitting it out.  You’ll womder why you ever paid so much for the same thing at a restaurant.

    Posted by max power on 2005 04 11 at 11:24 AM • permalink

  3. What?! Man, the rumours are true. Conservatives are all horrible philistines.

    If you don’t like oysters it’s because you haven’t eaten enough good ones. I proscribe a one-week course of long, forced all-oyster lunches. With EXPENSIVE WINE.

    Posted by ChrisV on 2005 04 11 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  4. PRESCRIBE. I meant PRESCRIBE.

    I prescribe myself a good night’s sleep. Starting now.

    Posted by ChrisV on 2005 04 11 at 11:32 AM • permalink

  5. Schucks, I like oysters.

    Posted by aaron_ on 2005 04 11 at 11:36 AM • permalink

  6. “The commercial oyster industry at the Hawkesbury is finished…”

    Another plot by the dread pharmaceutical industry!  They’ll have us all taking Viagra yet.

    Personally I blame John Howard.

    Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2005 04 11 at 11:49 AM • permalink

  7. One of the few reasons to prefer Sydney over Melbourne is the abundance of those oysters.

    Pacific oysters? Blue points? These are as nothing compared to the Sydney rock. I’d rather eat the shell of a Sydney rock oyster than the flesh of a lesser mollusc. These oyster-destroying parasites are the Hamas of NSW waterways.

    Posted by Tim B. on 2005 04 11 at 12:03 PM • permalink

  8. It’s all fun and games until a parasite wipes out the world’s tuna population. THEN we’ll see some handwringing. (And I’ll have a much higher grocery bill because I’ll have to buy real meat).

    As for China…well, honestly, what do we expect?

    Posted by Sonetka on 2005 04 11 at 12:34 PM • permalink

  9. I pro[e]scribe a one-week course of long, forced all-oyster lunches. With EXPENSIVE WINE.

    Good advice. I spent a significant part of the weekend taking such a cure. I apologise for my personal impact on oyster shortage in the West.

    Posted by Dean McAskil on 2005 04 11 at 12:38 PM • permalink

  10. Sonetka, don’t go scaring me. I live on tuna salad sandwiches on rye toast for lunch. Tuna, scallions, celery, tomatos, mayo, salt and pepper. Mmmmm…

    Posted by Dave S. on 2005 04 11 at 01:25 PM • permalink

  11. We can do without oysters, I think, but there is legitimate concern about bees.  They do a lot more than just produce honey.

    And, yes, I’m a bee hugger.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 04 11 at 02:48 PM • permalink

  12. #5 -  Don’t think I’m going to let this thread go on any longer without groaning at that joke, aaron.

    Posted by Sortelli on 2005 04 11 at 04:23 PM • permalink

  13. Margo Kingston was seen french-kissing an oyster just prior to the outbreak.  Coincidence??

    Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 04 11 at 04:30 PM • permalink

  14. Must not ... make ... Rock Lobster ... jokes ...

    Must ... not ...

    Posted by Achillea on 2005 04 11 at 04:39 PM • permalink

  15. Make sure everybody has matching towels!

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 04 11 at 05:54 PM • permalink

  16. I know where there are still plenty of Sydney rock oysters….

    Posted by rog2 on 2005 04 11 at 06:20 PM • permalink

  17. Sounds like Tim needs to get moving on those genetically-interbred mollusc cows.

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2005 04 11 at 07:00 PM • permalink

  18. I think the Greens in China probably face the same fate as the jihadis in china, they are either shot or jailed or both. Not known for their political sensitivity those Chinese.

    As for the oysters I feel bad for the folks trying to make a living but I would not eat one of those slimey devils if you put a gun to my head.

    no sir…my ex and his Dad used to eat those things raw, they would just open their mouths and let them slide down their throats.

    gag a maggot.

    Posted by terryelee on 2005 04 11 at 07:53 PM • permalink

  19. Port Stephens and Moreton Bay still have plenty of Sydney Rock Oysters- the Hawkesbury is doomed, as I believe Phillip Adams once sounded just downstream of the Brooklyn Bridge, and that much effluent ambergris is too much for any ecological system to survive. If the worst case scenario comes, there’s always those Kiwi Bluffs- a little bland, but bigger than your head. (I have an oyster man on Bribie Is where I get a sack for $20, and no I’m not telling).

    Posted by Habib on 2005 04 11 at 08:23 PM • permalink

  20. Terrylee- that’s the best way to eat the molluscy manberry look-alikes: you can hear the buggers scream as they slide down your throat (also good training for when the cold and ‘flu season is approaching).

    Posted by Habib on 2005 04 11 at 08:26 PM • permalink

  21. I can see that after we deal with the moonbats and lefties and MSM we will have to deal with the oyster haters!  How can they masquerade as RWDB’s?

    Posted by allan on 2005 04 11 at 08:27 PM • permalink

  22. What annoys an oyster?

    Perhaps the import of QX affected relatives for breeding programs from the Northern Rivers of NSW.

    What annoys a taxpayer?

    Having to shell out compensation for ineptly researched decisions when they go wrong.

    Posted by Anabel on 2005 04 11 at 09:00 PM • permalink

  23. I’d like to see the QX that could take on this mo’fo; could have the makings of a pretty classy Jap monster movie- QX vs Oystera.

    Posted by Habib on 2005 04 11 at 09:29 PM • permalink

  24. Sydney Oyster Crisis!!

    Now is the time for the evil mad scientists in the world-threatening GM labs to get to work.

    While you are at it, evil mad scientists, could you make Sydney oysters about the size of a football?

    Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 04 11 at 10:30 PM • permalink

  25. If you’d ever tasted a Sydney Rock Oyster, you woldn’t joke about it. This is serious.

    If swallowing live snot-coloured molluscs isn’t your thing, try Oysters Kilpatrick.

    Sprinkle worcestershire sauce on oysters on the half-shell, add a small inch-square slice of well-cooked bacon, top with shredded cheese.

    Grill till cheese is brown.

    Hmmmmm… Oysters…...

    Posted by Zoe Brain on 2005 04 11 at 10:55 PM • permalink

  26. Tragedy, Tim, it’s a tragedy - but you can have my share, I’m with terryelee and Max Power; if I want to eat snot I’ll eat my own, thanks!
    My Dad loved oysters and one year when I was a kid the familiy vacationed down the coast from Sydney where I got the oysters off the rocks for Dad while he was fishing.
    We also had abalone fresh off the rocks near the Victorian border, delicious! (We were camping and Mum asked Dad how to cook them, he said bash them on a rock in a sugar bag to tenderise them - no sugar bag, so mum sliced them very thin, dipped them in flour and quickly shallow fried them in butter, mmmmmmmmmmm.) Never had as nice since, the abalone in restaurants is usually from a can - yeecch.

    Posted by kae on 2005 04 11 at 11:46 PM • permalink

  27. There are few things more disgusting than eating raw oysters.  I liked oysters until I had to shuck a pailfull of them.  The horror, the horror!

    Allegedly true story.  The legislature of Washington state in the USA was preparing to vote on moving the capital from Olympia to Vancouver (across the Columbia River from Portland, Oregon), a much larger and more prosperous city at that time.  The bill was set to pass by an large margin when the opponents pointed out that if they moved, the legislators would no longer be able to get fresh Olympia oysters.  The bill was defeated by an overwhelming margin, giving up their fresh oysters was too much of a sacrifice for the politicos.

    Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 04 11 at 11:58 PM • permalink

  28. aebrain: The Kilpatrick is an amateur’s oyster topping. Oysters should not be desecrated by having some awful English sauce poured all over them.

    If you truly don’t want to eat your oysters raw the way God intended, check out the Ostras Del Diablo at Gauchos if you’re ever in Adelaide. Oven baked with bacon, cream, ginger, coriander, chilli and various other stuff. That’s a topping. Oysters Madras aren’t bad either.

    Posted by ChrisV on 2005 04 12 at 12:23 AM • permalink

  29. I think I might go to the Oyster Bar tonight. It’s half price night.

    Posted by ChrisV on 2005 04 12 at 12:23 AM • permalink

  30. Who puts cheese on Oysters Kilpatrick? Fromage fruitcake.

    (Sounds like some sort of weirdo Canberra mornay hybrid- disgusting).

    Posted by Habib on 2005 04 12 at 12:25 AM • permalink

  31. Chris V — Get ‘em while you can…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 04 12 at 01:34 AM • permalink

  32. Habib: The real question is, who puts Worcestershire sauce on oysters and cooks them? Once you’ve subjected them to indignities like that, slapping some cheese on top barely ranks as a crime.

    Posted by ChrisV on 2005 04 12 at 03:16 AM • permalink

  33. Oysters are good bait. You have to salt them to toughen them up a bit, though.

    I have heard that some weirdo’s actually eat ‘em, though. My father and all his mates are people like that. Once a month up at a mate’s oyster farm in Telligherry Creek.

    Takes all sorts!

    MarkL
    Canberra

    Posted by MarkL on 2005 04 12 at 05:01 AM • permalink

  34. “Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,
    We can begin to feed.”

    Posted by rexie on 2005 04 12 at 05:36 AM • permalink

  35. Speaking of moreton bay (Habib 19) if anyone is interested a lot of the oyseter farming licenses in the bay are underutilised and problems in Sydney may present a golden opportunity for expansion of the local industry if anyone feels like a sea change.

    Posted by entropy on 2005 04 12 at 06:06 AM • permalink

  36. I nearly bought one a few years ago at Amity on Stradbroke Is for 12grand, but it seemed liek too much hard work (and I would have scoffed the profit margin). A mate’s got the eel leases on a couple of major dams, and is making more dough than Michael Moore’s donut providor.

    Posted by Habib on 2005 04 12 at 08:38 AM • permalink

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