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STATE OF TERROR

Victorians are living in fear. Vigilantes have emerged. Citizens are turning against each other. An Orwellian mood of suspicion prevails. People expect a knock on the door from police. Those suspected of disobeying state directives are abused. Envy is rife and threatens to spill over to open hostility. Hysteria grows. Neighbour is pitted against neighbour. The situation is similar to the rise of fascism in pre-war Germany and Stalinist Eastern Europe, where people could not even trust their family. Respected community members worry they’ll be reported to authorities.

Unusually, the Age blames neither John Howard nor George W. Bush for any of this.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/14/2007 at 10:56 AM
  1. This just screams out for a creative tale from Paco. I tried to write one, but it sounded ridiculous.

    Paco, I bow down before your genius and far superior skills with a keyboard.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 14 at 11:16 AM • permalink

  2. I think its time that we all band together, and use as much water as possible, in protest against the appalling neglect of social infrastructure by the Labor state governments, and the “NIMBY” ferals who pop out of the woodwork whenever a new dam is proposed.

    Only by creating a crisis can we force the Government to act without having to kow-tow to the Greens and NIMBY’s.

    Do your bit!

    Posted by Kaboom on 2007 01 14 at 11:21 AM • permalink

  3. Look for a black market in grey water.

    Posted by rhhardin on 2007 01 14 at 11:23 AM • permalink

  4. Unusually, the Age blames neither John Howard nor George W. Bush for any of this.

    Well, that’s a mistake that I’m sure they’ll get around to rectifying.

    No water for roses!!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 14 at 11:43 AM • permalink

  5. Unusually, the Age blames neither John Howard nor George W. Bush for any of this.

    Well, that’s a mistake that I’m sure they’ll get around to rectifying.

    Once they remember that they can blame Glowball Warmening for the water shortage in the first place, therefore, John HoWARd and the BusHitler, all will be well . . .

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 14 at 11:59 AM • permalink

  6. Does anyone else see the irony of this story about a “turn in a water cheat” campaign getting ugly and pitting neighbor against neighbor concluding with the “dob in a water cheat” phone number?

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 14 at 12:11 PM • permalink

  7. #6 Spiny Norman, it was my intention to say exactly that before I saw your comment. However, probably The Age approves of the situation.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 01 14 at 12:19 PM • permalink

  8. #1 Ash_

    This just screams out for a creative tale from Paco. I tried to write one, but it sounded ridiculous.

    I believe that if I wrote a tale indistinguishable from one of paco’s (and I couldn’t, beyond my ability), it’d sound ridiculous to myself, even though others would enjoy it. You should have a go, the worst that can happen is nobody will comment on it.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 01 14 at 12:32 PM • permalink

  9. #8, how can anyone really compete with the Master, Paco?

    The first paragraph was good, but then it went down. I’d put in a metaphor such as “like a lead balloon” here, but I can’t think of a good one right now.

    Now you see my problem.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 14 at 12:41 PM • permalink

  10. A plutonium Zeppelin?

    Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 01 14 at 12:48 PM • permalink

  11. #10, see? I told you all that I’m not good enough to compete with Paco. You, however, come out with something perfect.

    If you all like, I could post my first paragraph, and you guys could complete it for me. All credit would go to Tim and Andrea though, so Tim could buy more lamb and Andrea could buy more of those dangerous step stools.

    By the way Andrea, never step on one of those that is resting on a mattress. I’ve never felt so unsafe. I’d rather sit behind this guy on a plane. It’s creepy, but I’d feel safer. Odd.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 14 at 12:59 PM • permalink

  12. I think it’s time for all Victorians to invest in Retrofitted, Inconspicuous Cleaning, Hydration And Refreshment Delivery Systems…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 01 14 at 01:18 PM • permalink

  13. Re #11, Why thank you very much, I’d like to thank the periodic table of elements and some kick arse 70’s rock music for this award.

    Long live the VRWC!

    Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2007 01 14 at 01:33 PM • permalink

  14. #12, it took me a few seconds, but now I’m on to you!!! I’ll invest anyway.

    #13, What 70s rock music? 70s was too long for Midnight Oil wasn’t it? They’re big on elements and how to waste them the fastest.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 14 at 02:30 PM • permalink

  15. I had to read the story to see if it was related to what is happening in Windsor, Ontario.

    But it was just the water police.

    What is it about Australia that the Sydney area can have an inch of rain in 24 hours (I know, I was there) and yet the reservoirs remain empty?

    Could it be government meddling in nature or government incompetence?

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 14 at 02:41 PM • permalink

  16. #10 Polonoium snuff ??

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 14 at 02:43 PM • permalink

  17. Ash, I don’t know if I could get a yarn out of this or not, but I tell ya one thing: if I had an unrestricted source of water and was being bothered by a bunch of nosy parker neighbors, instead of posting wimpy signs explaining myself, I’d build a big fountain in my backyard and commission a huge bronze statue of Aqua Man peeing in a chamber pot.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 14 at 02:45 PM • permalink

  18. We kinda figured you’d do something like that, paco.

    ;^)

    Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 01 14 at 03:44 PM • permalink

  19. Why can’t people be happy with green concrete in their yards?

    Posted by Rafe on 2007 01 14 at 03:55 PM • permalink

  20. I did find it somewhat amusing that an article bemoaning the problems of neighbour v neighbour disputes they post the “dob in” line at the bottom.

    Posted by curious george on 2007 01 14 at 03:59 PM • permalink

  21. OT, George Galloway mocked on UK TV. YouTube here; GG is in all of the vid, sex stuff starts at 4:20.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 01 14 at 04:05 PM • permalink

  22. As with most leftist punitive legal measures, it’s no longer about the original intent of the law. Now it’s about angry neighbors, forced by the law to watch their own lawns and gardens wither away because they couldn’t afford to install any government approved water collection systems, looking for payback against those whose gardens are still green.

    That’s what happens when you create laws with the expectation that everybody ELSE should follow them, so you can cheat without suffering any consequences.

    Posted by Tatterdemalian on 2007 01 14 at 04:05 PM • permalink

  23. Another OT (sorry, OTs seem to make up half my posts): Hilaly like Hitler, says prominent Muslim:

    SHEIK Taj al-Din al-Hilaly has done as much damage to Islam in Australia as Hitler did to Christianity, a prominent Muslim leader says.

    Too pissed off to comment on this.

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 01 14 at 04:24 PM • permalink

  24. It’s a dry jungle out there in suburbia. Peony envy is rife, and nobody has a clue how to hose down the situation. The Brackish Government met in crisis session under conditions of the utmost secrecy - the inner cabinet memebers only - known as the Water Closet.
    Reports were splashed around about mohawked marauders ignoring the various anti-siphoning laws, tapping into pensioners’ rainwater tanks and carrying off the spoils in huge tankers. A black market in water is now controlled by ethnic gangs, specialising in “rebathing” and forging of watermarks.
    The Closet knew there was only one answer to this menace: they had to find Mad Max, and fast!

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 01 14 at 04:28 PM • permalink

  25. Paco, I have nosy neighbours with way too much time on their hands (14-19 year old males), reckon you could knock something up for me anyway?

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 14 at 04:33 PM • permalink

  26. I love the envy and jealousy tales that come out in the Age. It’s the one reason I hope it keeps selling.

    Maybe someday, somebody clever will see its potential as a creative literary journal - all they will need to do is change the description, and voila!

    Posted by Ian Deans on 2007 01 14 at 04:34 PM • permalink

  27. #24 blogstrop, good one!

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 01 14 at 04:35 PM • permalink

  28. People expect a knock on the door from police. Those suspected of disobeying state directives are abused. Envy is rife and threatens to spill over to open hostility. Hysteria grows.

    Hell, that’s a normal day for a RWDB.  Disobey Karl and the men in black will come knocking.

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 01 14 at 04:53 PM • permalink

  29. #28: Disobey Karl and the men in black will come knocking.

    And the really scary thing about these guys is that they’re not wearing suits; they’re decked out in black, hooded robes, and they carry scythes.

    #24 Blogstrop: Excellent!

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 14 at 05:04 PM • permalink

  30. BTW, for those interested in really good writing, check out this fellow linked by Jules Crittenden.

    Posted by paco on 2007 01 14 at 05:08 PM • permalink

  31. He put his trained eye to the crack in the fence paling as the sun rose above the horizon like a poached egg slipping from the pan.
    The bearded target, clothed in a long robe of some kind, furtively entered the small back shed and emerged with a small circular mine-like object of grey, sinister metal.
    He attached it, warily looking around, to a sort of hose, and seconds later it burst into action, spewing what looked like water in a fountain of chemical death in all directions. 
    A look of weird satisfaction spread across his face like a smear of vegemite on buttered toast. 
    It was 6.14 am.
    The SPY [from the State Spy Youth Corps] instantly reached for his secure phone and reported this new danger to urban Australians, even though the target was his ol’ Dad..
    The Bob Brown Environ-Mental National Tactical Building [BENT] buzzed into protective life….

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 01 14 at 05:27 PM • permalink

  32. The terrorists have many faces

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 14 at 05:50 PM • permalink

  33. Meanwhile drought stricken Tasmania mocks us by releasing 300 megalitres of water for a canoe race.

    This was apparently made possible with the utilisation of bizarre water hoarding facilities.

    I for one welcome our new overlords.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 14 at 06:24 PM • permalink

  34. O/T - Family picnic turns into riot due to gross overreaction—

    A football which struck a child last night sparked a riot at a southern Sydney park between two feuding Lebanese families who struck each other with lengths of wood and a saucepan.

    Fifty police supported by a helicopter descended on Cooks Park in Sans Souci at 6.45pm to control 60 young Middle Eastern men who were brawling and throwing rocks after a football hit a child attending a picnic.

    Police pursued two men in a car but they escaped. One man suffered head wounds after being hit by a large piece of wood…

    “It was just two Lebanese families fighting. I haven’t seen that many police in my life. It was a sight to see and I hope I never see it again.”

    The Australian

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 01 14 at 06:28 PM • permalink

  35. #33 - Andrew Bolt recently mentioned the same thing happened in Victoria.  I couldn’t find the reference but I recall the Government authorised a huge release of water from a major dam to simulate ‘environmental flows’. It amounted to 5% of Victoria’s water supply released at once.  Andrew commented along the lines that it shows there isn’t a serious problem with water at all and Victorians are being fed propaganda.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 01 14 at 06:35 PM • permalink

  36. Unusually, the Age blames neither John Howard nor George W. Bush for any of this.

    Why would they? It sounds like the Communist Utopia they’ve been yearning.

    Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 14 at 06:42 PM • permalink

  37. Meanwhile, here in the West. The government has stopped running last year’s bizzarely ridiculous TV ads claiming you could ‘save’ energy by running your air conditioner all day (note it was a ploy to mitigate the afternoon power demand surge) and now has ads saying it’s your public duty not to turn on your aircon in the afternoon. Of course, without pointing out this merely allows others to turn on same.

    I’m not sure what irritates me more, the assumption that I’m that stupid or the government’s inability to fess up to the fact they haven’t built enough power infrastructure.

    Posted by phil_b on 2007 01 14 at 07:01 PM • permalink

  38. #23 Zapper

    Also O/T but has anyone actually found a written English translation of what Hilali said?  All i can find are ‘edited’ snippets.

    Back On/T - remind me to set up a water tank business.  Trying to get one installed in Sydney is harder than finding a moderate Muslim in Lakemba.

    Posted by pommygranate on 2007 01 14 at 07:04 PM • permalink

  39. #34 Fifty police supported by a helicopter descended on Cooks Park in Sans Souci at 6.45pm to control 60 young Middle Eastern men who were brawling and throwing rocks after a football hit a child attending a picnic.

    Gives a whole new meaning to sans souci -‘without a care, free and easy’

    Posted by Barrie on 2007 01 14 at 07:40 PM • permalink

  40. #24 Blogstrop.

    “Water closet” and “forging watermarks.” Magic.

    Can you put something together about the seedier side of it all? Back alley aqua dealers dishing out “tastes” to desperate addicts who have ripped off a DVD player from a home to pay for a hit of water.

    On a serious note, the sooner government legislates that raincoats and umbrellas must have permanent built in guttering and mini storage tanks the better. Same for cars -straight into the radiator or a $500 fine.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 14 at 08:14 PM • permalink

  41. Muzzie: well, Hitler did kill a lot of Christians too.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 14 at 08:15 PM • permalink

  42. Update: oh that’s not what he meant? Never mind.

    Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 01 14 at 08:18 PM • permalink

  43. Live in fear of the water gods, because this will happen if you are greedy with it.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 14 at 08:22 PM • permalink

  44. Unbelievable. My Grandparents had better access to electricity and water than I do today. Thanks, socialism.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 14 at 08:28 PM • permalink

  45. #6 SpinyNorman, the Age intends people to use that phone number for good, not evil.

    Posted by anthony_r on 2007 01 14 at 08:51 PM • permalink

  46. Piss on it.

    I have been, for months, saving flushes by pissing into one spot in the back garden.

    I am considering developing this activity as a cottage industry. The other day, I carefully removed the first 6 inches of soil to reveal a “gold mine”.

    Urea. In crystalline form.

    Scoff if you must, but Urea has many advantages compared to traditional fossil fuels: it is non-toxic, clean burning, non-explosive, and is more economical than refined petroleum products. Urea can fit into the existing liquid based fueling infrastructure. Existing engines can be retrofit cheaply. The capital cost of urea fueling stations is significantly less than the cost of existing gasoline stations. With current urea manufacturing technology, urea has a “well to wheel” efficiency that exceeds gasoline. And urea can be stored as a solid or a liquid.

    Paco? Business Model?

    Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 01 14 at 08:51 PM • permalink

  47. Hey bud. Come here. Wanna buy some water? Shhh!

    I said, wanna buy some water?

    You wouldn’t believe it.A passing cloud just dropped it all into this here bottle.

    Top quality, stuff, bud, you know what I’m saying?

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 14 at 09:11 PM • permalink

  48. In Victoria we have the parking nazis, the speed nazis, the eviro nazis, the religious nazis, and now the water nazis.

    In Victoria, our watches are set for 1984, and I love Big Brother Bracks.

    Posted by Just Wondering on 2007 01 14 at 09:36 PM • permalink

  49. #46.  Being a chemistry illiterate, I’ve just googled ‘Urea fuel’.  Very interesting, and I’m astounded that given it’s many merits as a fuel for internal combustion engines there’s no public advocacy of this.  Cheap, safe, green and non-middle-eastern.  All good.

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 01 14 at 09:40 PM • permalink

  50. #46 - ...Urea has many advantages compared to traditional fossil fuels: it is non-toxic, clean burning, non-explosive, ...

    From globalsecurity—

    Urea nitrate is also considered a type of fertilizer-based explosive, although, in this case, the two constituents are nitric acid and urea. A common source of urea is the prill used for de-icing sidewalks. Urea can also be derived from concentrated urine. This is a common variation used in South America and the Middle East by terrorists. Often sulfuric acid is added to assist with catalyzing the constituents. A bucket containing the urea is used surrounded by an ice bath. The ice serves in assisting with the chemical conversion when the nitric acid is added. The resulting explosive can be blasting cap sensitive. Urea nitrate has a destructive power similar to ammonium nitrate.

    Clean burning?—

    MDSS - Hazardous Decomposition Products: Urea decomposes upon heating and can form products including ammonia, oxides of nitrogen, cyanuric acid, cyanic acid, biuret, carbon dioxide.

    Non-toxic?—

    Inhalation: Causes irritation to the respiratory tract. Symptoms may include coughing, shortness of breath. May be absorbed into the bloodstream with symptoms similar to ingestion.
    Ingestion: Causes irritation to the gastrointestinal tract. Symptoms may include nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. May also cause headache, confusion and electrolyte depletion.
    Skin Contact: Causes irritation to skin. Symptoms include redness, itching, and pain.
    Eye Contact: Causes irritation, redness, and pain.
    Chronic Exposure: A study of 67 workers in an environment with high airborne concentrations of urea found a high incidence of protein metabolism disturbances, moderate emphysema, and chronic weight loss.

    Posted by walterplinge on 2007 01 14 at 09:49 PM • permalink

  51. Hmmmm.

    Dob on me by A-Ha

    We’re watering away
    I don’t know what
    I’m to say I’ll say it anyway
    Today’s another day to find you
    watering away
    I’ll be coming for your water meter, OK?

    Dob on me, dob me on
    My water’ll be gone
    In a day or two

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 01 14 at 09:53 PM • permalink

  52. Hmmm.

    You know.  Considering how much empty space you guys have, why don’t you excavate some really big ass lakes to store water and provide some recreation?

    Or maybe a really really BIG inland freshwater sea?

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 01 14 at 09:56 PM • permalink

  53. #50.  OK, not safe to drink, but compared to petrol/gasoline/benzine seems a tantalising prospect, no?

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 01 14 at 09:58 PM • permalink

  54. #52.  ed, generally speaking, the reason there’s so much ‘empty space’ is that it never rains there.  Like, for decades on end.  Now a urea plant, now you’re talking…

    Posted by Olrence on 2007 01 14 at 10:01 PM • permalink

  55. #52. ed.

    You’ll find most of us in agreement here. The greenies got us into this fix years ago by making the idea of dams equivalent to feeding koalas into a blender.

    Pinheads.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 14 at 10:04 PM • permalink

  56. feeding koalas into a blender

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.  Granted that they’re cute, but from what I understand they are extremely unfriendly.  Any animal which combines the cuteness normally associated with stuffed teddy bears with a mean streak that would do a PETA member credit deserves anything it gets.

    Posted by fclark on 2007 01 14 at 10:13 PM • permalink

  57. O/T Robert Pollock in today’s The Australian has this to say about Gitmo.

    “FOR sheer irony it’s hard to beat last week’s spectacle of prominent anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan protesting against the US detention facilities at Guantanamo Bay from inside the prison that is Cuba. It’s not uncommon for asylum-seeking Cubans to brave minefields and shark-infested waters to enter the US naval base…. “.

    Apparently the food is pretty damn good and they screen Harry Potter movies (I know, I know, cruel and unusual punishment….)

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 14 at 10:13 PM • permalink

  58. #56 - Koala’s are unstable, chlamydia carrying, drug addicts. I am sick of them asking for money, too.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 14 at 10:24 PM • permalink

  59. Q: Why did the koala fall out of its tree?

    A: Because it was dead.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 14 at 10:44 PM • permalink

  60. What’s grey and turns red at the push of a button?

    A baby koala in a blender.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 14 at 10:46 PM • permalink

  61. There was a vox pop in the Hobart Mercury the other day - the question was: “Tasmania is not suffering any water shortages. Should there be more restrictions on how people use water?”

    Let me get this straight - there’s plenty of water - I pay for it with my rates - but do I think the government should stop me using it?

    Most people answered “yes”.

    Stop the insanity!

    Posted by Pig Head Sucker on 2007 01 14 at 10:48 PM • permalink

  62. OT (sort of)

    Not everyone gets punished in Victoria, cast your eyes on this:

    Up to 110 Serbian, Croatian and Greek fans were ejected from the Australia Open today after ethnic tensions boiled over into violence about 12.30pm.

    Serbs and Croats threw bottles and tried to hit each other with their national flags.

    Up to 20 police rushed in to stop the violence.

    “Earlier the Croatians had gathered in Federation Square, chanting their songs and lighting flares before they made their way to the arena.”

    No arrests have been made, and at this stage there are no reports of injuries.

    You can have a racist fight, light flares in a very public place, but if you water your garden…..

    Cripes!

    Posted by Nic on 2007 01 14 at 11:12 PM • permalink

  63. Ms Norriss told The Sunday Age. “It’s becoming like Big Brother and I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable.”

    So let me see if I have this right. Victorians have to water their peonies naked, but if they use too much, Steve Bracks sends someone round to turkey slap them?

    Posted by RexW on 2007 01 14 at 11:19 PM • permalink

  64. #62 Nic.

    Aaaah all that enriching diversity! So much to learn from imported ancient hatreds and culturally entrenched violence.

    The Police should facilitate such displays as they are “vibrant.”

    The rest of us should be ashamed that we suffer from British derived “stiff upper lip”, and are so dour, so patient, tolerant and law abiding.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 14 at 11:35 PM • permalink

  65. What the heck is going on?  Here in SW Ohio, we’ve had three straight days of rain, with a promise of two more, floods all around, and on the news there’s a report that Miami Township is running short of water and may not be able to fight fires.  What, is there some big global water thievery ring?  Who’s taking all the water?

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 14 at 11:37 PM • permalink

  66. Wronwright, I believe that you or MarkL may be able to help RebeccaH out with that one.

    Perhaps explain about the Precipitation And Condensation Organisation.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 14 at 11:49 PM • permalink

  67. Sad when you witness proud citizens being good ‘water hoarders’ when AFAIK industy consumes so much ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 14 at 11:59 PM • permalink

  68. #52
    Usual case of State Govts running down utilities.

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 15 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  69. I assume this guy will be the next star attraction at the highly acclaimed Melbourne Arts Festival.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 15 at 12:03 AM • permalink

  70. O/T More disastrous news on Global Warmening- Today’s SMH reports:
    “Ice storms that have been blamed for at least 20 deaths continued to lash much of the United States on Sunday as crews tried to restore power to hundreds of thousands and as slick roads spawned accidents.

    Waves of freezing rain, sleet and snow since Friday have caused at least 11 deaths in Oklahoma, six in Missouri, two in Texas and one in New York”.

    I hope all our American friends here are OK and not adversely affected….
    This global warming is getting worse - in fact, if it gets much worse, we’ll all freeze to death!

    Posted by Bonmot on 2007 01 15 at 12:34 AM • permalink

  71. Oldies getting green in the UK

    Green power for the oldies in the UK

    Read about the 85 year old bloke giving up his car for a bike! To save the world!

    Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 01 15 at 12:43 AM • permalink

  72. #69 MM.

    I loved the bit, I am an artist so it’s not like I’m wasting water for nothing.”

    Mmm ....performance artists, the systematic cleansing of performance artists from sociey is a type of performance art I might patronise.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 15 at 12:57 AM • permalink

  73. OT This globalisation index indicates that Australia is now ranked among the world’s top 10 most desperate and depraved nations because of having McDonalds and stuff.

    Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 01 15 at 01:37 AM • permalink

  74. #73 - Desperation and depravity. Sounds like the last 10mins before the pub closes.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 01 15 at 01:45 AM • permalink

  75. #74, that 10 minutes is hell.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 15 at 01:51 AM • permalink

  76. #37
    AFAIK one of the worst States known for propping up its grid with diesel Gen-sets.

    A few years back, when ‘Greenhouse gases’ became the rage, Tony Blair, very vocal on the issue, was well known for a similar lack of capacity, augmenting his network similarly ...

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 15 at 03:36 AM • permalink

  77. It’s utter bollocks that Australia is a dry continent. Fly over the Fitzroy river at this time of year and it’s kilometers across. I’ve read it’s the biggest undammed (free flowing) river in the world.

    The Ord river was dammed and 90% of the water goes to waste.

    What’s needed is bigass pipelines from where the water is to where it’s needed.

    At the last WA state election the Liberal leader wanted to do this and got pilloried by the media (c***s).

    Posted by phil_b on 2007 01 15 at 03:42 AM • permalink

  78. # 48,
    The incorrigible busy-bodies and Nimby green Gestapo types who gained control of local councils in the 70s and 80s have graduated to the Victorian State Government.
    They have aspirations to go further.

    Posted by chrisgo on 2007 01 15 at 03:49 AM • permalink

  79. #69 - McGowan’s a performance artist, eh? What name does he perform under?
    Far Ken Eejit would be my pick.

    Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 01 15 at 04:01 AM • permalink

  80. In Brakistan the Cabinet
    A water ration did decree:
    En-forced, by dobbing,fine and threat
    And gardens brown for want of wet
    Did not a sprinkler see.

    Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 15 at 04:25 AM • permalink

  81. Australia doesn’t have a shortage of fresh water.

    In the 80s and 90s, then WA Labor government minister for water resources Ernie Bridge proposed a pipeline to bring a super-abundant fresh water supply from the north-west, through the arid, but arable, centre to the south-west of WA.

    Mr Bridge’s data showed, that every day we allow 14 times the capacity of Sydney Harbour to flow into the ocean from WA’s northern rivers.

    Memory fades (unlike the rest of me, unfortunately), but I do recall that the South Australia government was interested in tapping (sorry) into the pipeline to alleviate their water supply problems. Just look at the mess they’re in now.

    Of course, it all came down to money, the ever-handy “conservation” and political issues. Too expensive. $3 billion. The water authority in WA is this scheme’s (or any overarching scheme’s) most rigorous opponent - a condition that seems to afflict other state governments as well (see links below).

    Mr Bridge founded the Watering Australia Foundation which formed branches
    in other states. They too met with overwhelming opposition from water authorities, “conservationists” and political interests while enjoying the strong support of “ordinary” Australians.

    And still today, copious amounts of fresh water flow unimpeded into the oceans around the driest continent on earth while people “live in fear” of the water nazis. Does this make any sense to anyone?

    Interview with George Negus

    No shortage of water

    The Bradfield scheme

    Well-researched and documented large-scale schemes to address our water supply problems have been around for decades, yet not one government, of any hue, has been moved to action. I wonder why?

    Posted by SandiM on 2007 01 15 at 04:25 AM • permalink

  82. Thanks for the compliments. Penguin #40, you asked for it!
    Max & Bracks Pt II
    “We found him, Boss.” Bracks put down his Waterman pen and surveyed the craggy visage presented to him by the security men. “We found him holed up in a faded, over-the-hill, decrepit, shadow of its former self hotel in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney.”
    “Sounds like a description of himself” said Bracks. “You don’t mean …”
    “Yes. The Hydro-Majestic.”
    “Please, Mr Premier”, Max pleaded. “If this is about the incident where I was pulled over by a Water Use Inspector, and, under the influence of too much water, I abused him and water workers everywhere, I abjectly apologise. I remember screaming at him: It’s the Dew, the Dew is everywhere!”
    “No, Max. We want you to come in from the chilled refreshments bar. We have work for you. Important work, that only you can do.”

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 01 15 at 05:05 AM • permalink

  83. #82 Blogstrop.

    Tip top! The Hydro-Majestic cracked me up.

    The Interceptor, last of the V8’s, sucks distilled water.

    Posted by Penguin on 2007 01 15 at 06:10 AM • permalink

  84. #33 – “Andrew Bolt recently mentioned the same thing happened in Victoria.  I couldn’t find the reference but I recall the Government authorised a huge release of water from a major dam to simulate ‘environmental flows’. It amounted to 5% of Victoria’s water supply released at once.  Andrew commented along the lines that it shows there isn’t a serious problem with water at all and Victorians are being fed propaganda.”

    Walterplinge, I think Sydney Water is pulling a different stunt.  Every time it rains I check the BOM satellite picture of the rain intensity over Warragamba and when it gets to my area and is still as intense I check the rain measure in the backyard.  Whatever it shows on my rain measure the media will report that only about half of that fell in the catchment area yet similar intensity rain areas around the metropolitan area will be reported as having rainfall similar to my results.  Furthermore, news helicopters used to fly over the Warragamba Dam and show the actual water level, I haven’t seen any such footage in ages.

    Yes, I know, I’m paranoid but that doesn’t mean that Sydney Water is not up to something simply in order to drive up the price.  There was a report last year that Sydney people were so successful in conserving water that Sydney Water was out of pocket by millions of dollars.

    Posted by Crossie on 2007 01 15 at 07:46 AM • permalink

  85. #24, 31, 82 et al

    The Hotline has been swamped with complaints, a veritable shower of people just gushing to complain; they’re trying to stem the flow,  but no one gives a dam!

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 15 at 09:13 AM • permalink

  86. Canberra’s population is tortured by massive permanent water restrictions while their loony government (but the one I’m afraid they deserve no less) annually releases more than twice the city’s annual water consumption for “environmental flows”. 

    What can you expect from clowns who are so culpably neglectful of fuel reduction in the bush that surrounds the city that they allow their citizens to be engulfed by firestorms?

    Read and weep.

    http://www.icrc.act.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/21766/Terry_Dwyer_Submission.pdf

    (sorry Andrea, the linky thingy doesn’t work for me).

    Posted by Ubique on 2007 01 15 at 09:23 AM • permalink

  87. #84: Crossie

    Yes, I know, I’m paranoid but that doesn’t mean that Sydney Water is not up to something simply in order to drive up the price. There was a report last year that Sydney people were so successful in conserving water that Sydney Water was out of pocket by millions of dollars.


    It really is frustrating for folk here in Sydney. We get some good bouts of rain only to watch it roaring down the streets and gutters without making an elephant’s zit of a difference to overall figures for Sydney’s dams.  Water levels seem to remain about the same or have dwindled some more.

    It’s worth noting, though, that the rainfall catchment area for Sydney’s Warragamba Dam is a big one. Which makes me ponder how the Authority arrives at its figures for the rainfall report in the first place. Presumably it’s an average of observations by a sufficient number of weather stations dotted around the countryside.

    Sydney’s summer storms sure do pour down God’s gallons of water and tear up trees, but there’s no flood unless you’re right under one as it passes over. And lately, all we can add to those is what amounts to a few days here and there of short showers and disinterested drizzle that drift nearly everywhere but never really get going. That’s the sort of rain that makes the town and surrounds look nice and green and saves time manning the garden hose. A green drought, as it’s known in the bush.

    I’m guessing the numbers look dodgy because they are based on broad averages across a large catchment that supplies a very big puddle.

    Posted by splice on 2007 01 15 at 10:42 AM • permalink

  88. Hmmm.

    Frankly I’m wondering if the most precious resource of the 21st century isn’t water and not oil or natural gas.

    I’ve also wondered if it might not be necessary, here in the USA, for a new national program to create a national water grid.  Interestingly we have a national power grid, transportation grid and just about everything else grid, but not a water grid.  In general terms water resources are managed by local or regional authorities.

    So it’s entirely possible for farmers in Idaho to go three consecutive years without any rain at all and forced to exist under extensive drought conditions while Washington state drowns under excessive rainfall.

    I’m starting to wonder if a system of inter-state and intra-state basins and transfer pumps/pipes wouldn’t allow the shifting of massive quantities of water from one portion of the US to another, and provide a new category for Chicago’s commodities exchange. 

    Such a system would probably repay itself in short order, even though the costs would probably be measured in tens of billions of dollars, as flood and drought damage would either be ameliorated or eliminated entirely.  Additionally the growth of many major cities and industries are constrained by available water supplies.  By creating a national inter-state system to transfer water and a means of buying/selling water through the commodities exchange, this would allow states, cities and regions suffering undue drought conditions to purchase water as necessary.  For those areas inundated with excess water, and so facing potential flood damage, the ability to sell excess water into the system would help reduce the damage and provide an income to offset the costs of repairing what damage occurs.

    *shrug* makes sense to me, but then again I’m not in Congress.

    Posted by memomachine on 2007 01 15 at 12:31 PM • permalink

  89. #88 ed: Silly boy/person/other!
    It’s because you’re not in Congress that you’ve retained your ability to think.

    Posted by SandiM on 2007 01 15 at 01:08 PM • permalink

  90. Max Pt III
    “We need some really hard hitting ads for TV, Max” the Premier went on.
    “You know how we treated those Christian Ministers over the past couple of years. We want the population to feel real fear of the consequences if they transgress these greenie-enviro-religious laws we’re evolving. The A-G has done the groundwork, put in some activist judges, but now we need to ram home the message. I’m thinking of ads where a transgressor has to carry a rainwater tank on his back while being taunted and lashed by those on both sides of the street. Then he’s crucified on it, atop a dry, rocky hill. Or how about beefing up the image of our water inspectors, make them into savages who’ll tie up the offender with his own garden hose, dismember him, rip the living heart from his body?”
    Max smiled. “Chief, it’s what I do! When can I start?”
    “Right away. At last you’ll be using your talents for Good!”

    Posted by blogstrop on 2007 01 15 at 04:08 PM • permalink

  91. 330,000 people in the Midwest wihtout power due to ice and snow; meanwhile, here in Maruhland, it’s a balmy 68 degrees in non-commie measurements.

    Some dopey broad drank herself to death in a water-drinking contest yesterday.  Yup, she actually drank so much water she died.  I imagine in VA she’d also be fined.

    Posted by ushie on 2007 01 15 at 06:11 PM • permalink

  92. #21 Muzziezapper, a fine demostration of the superiority and greater sophistication of British culture over the Americans. Now if we can only find a superior French example.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 15 at 07:41 PM • permalink

  93. #48 But you don’t have the language police.

    Note that there is no English version of this page.

    Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 01 15 at 07:51 PM • permalink

  94. # 85

    #24, 31, 82 et al

    The Hotline has been swamped with complaints, a veritable shower of people just gushing to complain; they’re trying to stem the flow, but no one gives a dam!

    I agree entirely egg_. This whole issue is a complete tapestry.

    Posted by geoff on 2007 01 15 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  95. #94
    :)

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 15 at 10:52 PM • permalink

  96. #92 Wimpy Canadian. Yes, it is rather appalling, isn’t it. I only knew about it because I saw the show was hosted by David Tennant, the current Doctor Who. (And I’m sticking to that excuse.)

    Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 01 16 at 03:34 AM • permalink

  97. #24 LOL.
    But why not the Brack market?
    (memories of Get Smeart’s “Craw…not Craw, CRAW!!”)

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 16 at 08:17 AM • permalink

  98. oops I mean Get Smart…

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 16 at 08:18 AM • permalink

  99. #82. dammit will you STOP blaming the Dooooooos for everything!?

    Posted by carpefraise on 2007 01 16 at 09:12 AM • permalink

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