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STANDARD VACATION

It’s twelve days and counting since we last heard from Iowahawk:

Off to Mexico for a spell, chasing a story for Garage Magazine. I must remain tight-lipped, but can tell you my assignment involves Ed “Big Daddy” Roth, Pancho Villa, nuclear radiation, lost treasure, Mexican carnival sideshows, Tom Wolfe, alien autopsies, satanists, tequila, John Wesley Hardin, chupacabras, Aztec blood sacrifice, Mexican outlaw biker gangs, my dad, Pershing missiles, porn shops, peyote, Billy the Kid, eating brains, and a cursed hot rod.

I am not making any of this up.

Pray for me.

Posted by Tim B. on 10/31/2007 at 09:02 AM
  1. If he’d found a one-legged lesbian midget, it would be my kinda holiday.

    Posted by CB on 2007 10 31 at 09:11 AM • permalink

  2. “Mexican carnival sideshows”

    I take that back, I am so there.

    Posted by CB on 2007 10 31 at 09:12 AM • permalink

  3. I don’t believe the part about tequila; Iowahawk wouldn’t drink that stuff, he’s too smart.

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 31 at 09:16 AM • permalink

  4. What, twelve whole days and that’s all he’s going to tackle? Sloth!

    Posted by paco on 2007 10 31 at 09:17 AM • permalink

  5. I reckon he’s attempting to put 1,000,000 450cubic inch V8s into the Pyramid of Cholula as his entry for the 2008 “World of Speed” at Bonneville

    Posted by cwxyzallen on 2007 10 31 at 09:25 AM • permalink

  6. What, Disney World again??!?!?!

    Posted by SoberHT on 2007 10 31 at 09:46 AM • permalink

  7. He hooked me at “Big Daddy Roth.”

    Posted by Apostic on 2007 10 31 at 10:30 AM • permalink

  8. I sense danger for Iowahawk.

    Especially if he eats the food.

    Posted by Ash_ on 2007 10 31 at 11:02 AM • permalink

  9. Eating brains?

    What’s he doing? Hanging out with Alton Brown?

    Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 10 31 at 11:07 AM • permalink

  10. Eating brains?

    What’s he doing? Hanging out with Alton Brown?

    Heh.  Saw that yesterday.

    Oooh.  Here it is on YouTube.

    Posted by Apostic on 2007 10 31 at 11:14 AM • permalink

  11. Mexico?  Old or New?  ‘Cuz Billy the Kid is buried in Ft. Sumner.

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 31 at 11:21 AM • permalink

  12. Correction: this one has the brain sampling in question.

    Posted by Apostic on 2007 10 31 at 11:23 AM • permalink

  13. (With a look of disappointment, wronwright quietly and ever so subtlely places the photo album of his trifecta Jamestown/Yorktown/Washington DC dream vacation back into his briefcase).

    Posted by wronwright on 2007 10 31 at 12:03 PM • permalink

  14. He ate the worm.

    Posted by murph on 2007 10 31 at 12:10 PM • permalink

  15. Mexico?  Old or New?

    Possibly New Mexico, Rebecca, since Iowahawk mentions Pershing missiles, and White Sands Missile Range, in New Mexico, is where they tested the Pershing I and Pershing II missiles (scroll down to the Pershing links, I can’t link the photos).

    Maybe Iowahawk is trying to boost a booster to improve the performance of his car?

    Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 10 31 at 12:25 PM • permalink

  16. Or, as Iowahawk usually refers to it, ‘Thursday’.

    Posted by Parker on 2007 10 31 at 12:35 PM • permalink

  17. Is he going to Mexico or to Nuevo York ?

    Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 10 31 at 01:26 PM • permalink

  18. I wonder if he will find the hard boiled egg yolks i buried at White Sands when I was 3

    Posted by missred on 2007 10 31 at 02:33 PM • permalink

  19. He left out the Meskin Pirate Radio Stations…

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 31 at 03:07 PM • permalink

  20. Hey, it’s just after 5PM here. In honor of Iowahawk I’m going to have some tequila.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 10 31 at 05:13 PM • permalink

  21. ErnieG, and it’s Halloween!  Have two!

    Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 10 31 at 06:04 PM • permalink

  22. I did.

    Posted by ErnieG on 2007 10 31 at 06:20 PM • permalink

  23. It’s what Hawk’s not saying that’s most revealing. He’s going to meet up with Uncle Joe Grandi to pursue retrospective action against the originators of the Mexican Wave.

    He has my full support.

    Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2007 10 31 at 07:56 PM • permalink

  24. A long-lost Big Daddy Roth car, the Orbitron, was discovered recently in Mexico.

    Posted by DeliLama on 2007 10 31 at 09:12 PM • permalink

  25. Maybe he’s in search of a Religious Vision?

    Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 10 31 at 09:45 PM • permalink

  26. I warned him of the pitfalls of timeshare vacations.

    Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 10 31 at 10:15 PM • permalink

  27. #1
    He’s joined the one-legged black lesbian dwarf throwing sideshow act?

    Posted by egg_ on 2007 10 31 at 10:27 PM • permalink

  28. Speaking of midgits, I caught a few minutes of Barney the lefto pinko dinosaur which my daughter was watching as cute colours on the tv, when across the scene walked a midgit couple.  I nearly fainted!

    This was during a program showing how the normal kids (1 token black kid, who could dance better than the token white kids)incoporate the wheelchair bound kid into a game of hide and seek.

    They also had some old bird using sign language to some kid in the background.

    The only minority things missing were:

    asian kids / adults
    a lesbian couple
    a gay couple
    a kafiya wearing kid
    a native IndianAmerican
    a hippie

    Do they feature in upcoming episodes?

    Just how many minorities does this show cater to?

    Poor Iowahawk, sacrificing himself for the greater parody.

    Posted by peter m on 2007 11 01 at 02:39 AM • permalink

  29. I survived.

    Barely.

    Posted by iowahawk on 2007 11 02 at 01:05 PM • permalink

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