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SPEEDY BILL
Labor’s Shortening begins:
Senior Labor figures are urging union boss Bill Shorten to enter politics immediately and lead the Labor Party to the next election.
The powerful NSW Right believes the Australian Workers Union secretary, who shot to national prominence at the Beaconsfield mine collapse, is the “great white hope” of the ALP and could well become prime minister ...
One influential figure said Mr Shorten’s handling of the Beaconsfield mine collapse and rescue mission was so good it proved the union leader “lives up to the hype”.
“He could be Hawke Mach II without the drinking or the womanising.”
Bob Hawke at twice the speed of sound! Or soundbite, in Shorten’s case. His “handling” of the Beaconsfield rescue chiefly involved standing near a hole for two weeks and talking about rocks; not a situation that called for a great deal of policy analysis, but apparently it’s all one need do to qualify as ALP leader-in-waiting.
UPDATE. Mark Latham on the NSW Right: “The so-called intellectuals of the NSW right are frauds ... The NSW right is a subset of the party’s broader structural problems: our trade union base is in steady decline, the party’s local branches and rank-and-file participation are an empty shell ...”
Shorten is actually least like Hawke in many respects.
He actually beleives in market economics, is a sensible practical policy thinker rather than an ideologue, and is the best thing Labor have for Australia to have a competitive two party system.
if interested see: http://weekbyweek7.blogspot.com/
Posted by WeekByWeek on 2006 05 15 at 08:36 PM • permalinkMr.Shorten’s “handling of the Beaconsfield mine collapse” is far from over,in fact in reality it’s only about to commence.Instead of just standing in front of a camera and repeating information provided by people who are actually involved in the rescue he will now face the challenge of how to do his Union Boss Thing and flog the mine owners and management without proving that the thing is so unsafe that it’s uneconomical to carry on mining operations safely with the result that the mine is closed and Beaconsfield,as a town,is closed shortly afterwards.
I wonder if he’ll then go on to follow Bob Hawke in becoming a speaker at Islamophobia conferences. see 16:40 session. And notice the other guests.
Let’s see; who was the last “great white hope” for the ALP who “could well become Prime Minister”?
Mark “mad as a cut snake” Latham, that’s who. No wonder the Labor Party isn’t taken seriously any more.
Posted by blandwagon on 2006 05 15 at 09:05 PM • permalinkGeez I coulda sworn Bill worked for Beaconsfield Gold Mines ergo the Mac Bank?
At least they’re both pink.
Posted by Jay Santos on 2006 05 15 at 09:17 PM • permalinkWonder how Beazley feels. On one hand he is ‘daring’ Howard to stay and fight him whilst his mates are openly nominating Shorten.
What about the policies? If politics in Australia was simply about appearance and perception then ipso facto, Laura Bingle or Eddie Maguire should be the leader of the ALP.
Something our ALP friends have forgotten are some of the demographic shifts that have been ocurring in areas previously Labour’s heartland. Whilst their policies may appeal to those living in inner city areas wishing for a free Tibet, those self employed, ‘aspirational’ voters, sneered at by the left are not going to vote for a Bill Shorten simply because he can wear a chambray shirt and mix with unionists at the same time.
If the ALP is short of one thing, it is union hacks.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 05 15 at 10:33 PM • permalink#6- the Silver Bodgie and Red Ken- what a colourful combination.
I’d love to have the copyright to the podcast of that little blatherfest- it’d slap upside the head a cup of warm cocoa for curing insonmnia.
Where’s Tariq Ali and George Monbiot though?
Karl’s falling down on the job a bit- the idea is to get all these mongs in the one room, then it’s time for the “tragic ceiling collapse, triggered by previously never encountered local earth tremors”.
Not to mention the hilarious comedy stylings of Omar Mazouk and his dancing dromedaries (not so much dancing as being flung into the air when they tread on a PFM-1.
“What is the most favoured hairstyle of infidels? No matter, as you have just sawn their sinful head off their shoulders, and their hair will no longer grow and inflame the passions of harlots.”
“Why do infidels drive large cars? So they can steal our oil and bomb our orphans, thus to suffer the wrath of Allah and his disciples. And they have small willies.”
“A Jew, a Catholic and a Protestant walk into a bar. They are rightously incinerated by the hand of Allah via the help of semtex for being unbelievers and polluting their bodies with alcohol.”
“My sister has a blemish on her face. How do I know? The strumpet removed her veil while having an asthma attack, and I retrieved my family’s honour by slicing her up with a scimitar, and feeding her impure remains to the goats. Thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience.”
Shorten has presided over a dramatic decline in union membership in the mining industry. I’m sure he can do the same for the ALP.
#18 That’s about it wraps it up rainbow, but if you want to be an MP you need to be second or 3rd generation.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 05 15 at 11:46 PM • permalinkNot to mention lawyers who aren’t very skilled at law. Every level of legislature is brimful of the venal parasites, especially Labor administrations where they draft idiotic law with gusto, secure in the knowledge that when they’re rightfully tipped out on their flabby arses they’ve written a lucrative consultancy into statute.
(Pretty bloody brilliant putting a former ambulance-chaser like Julia Gillard nee’ Woodpecker in the health portfolio- they might as well draft Chopper Read as Attorney General).
Well, we know he can stand in front of a gaping, deadly hole, so he should be comfortable running on the ALP platform…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 16 at 12:41 AM • permalinkA simple solution to the ALp’s leadership woes is to adopt the philosophy of Grant Thomas and Paul Roos - rotating leaders.
Give them all a six month trial - Beazley, Rudd, Shorten, the Woodpecker. It is the kind of bullshit promoted in some schools too, where the ALP base is strongest, where school captains are replaced with a broad leadership group.
They are supposed to have a socialist base - how about practising what they preach.
Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 05 16 at 12:47 AM • permalinkYou’d think the ALP would have learnt their lesson about desperate leadership selection and “great white hopes” from the Latham catastrophe. Apparently not.
Posted by James Waterton on 2006 05 16 at 01:18 AM • permalinkThe powerful NSW Right believes the Australian Workers Union secretary, who shot to national prominence at the Beaconsfield mine collapse, is the “great white hope” of the ALP and could well become prime minister ...
Brought to you by the people who brought you Mark Latham.
Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 05 16 at 02:20 AM • permalink“His “handling” of the Beaconsfield rescue chiefly involved standing near a hole for two weeks and talking about rocks; “
Tim, how could you! As a de-frocked guess-ologist (aka geologist), I can assure you that Lord Shorten of Beaconsfield spake nuttin’ of rocks whilst at Beaconsfield.
The closes he got to rocks was coprolite
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 05 16 at 04:39 AM • permalink22. richard mcenroe
““Well, we know he can stand in front of a gaping, deadly hole,”“
I hear Bob Brown may have a similar position open for a bright young lad….
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 05 16 at 08:22 AM • permalinkblogstrop — Didn’t the UK already do that? At least the Italians had the good sense to vote for a porno star…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 16 at 09:32 AM • permalinkHoward’s little party loves shortenin’, shortenin…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 05 16 at 11:18 AM • permalinkThe ... Australian Workers Union secretary ... is the “great white hope” of the ALP
Does “great white hope” have a different meaning in Oz? In USA, it’s explicitly racist. Max Schmelling, I think the guy’s name was, 1940s, an aryan stuporman who was supposed to whup Joe Louis, but couldn’t.
Not a nickname of good omen, innuddawoids.Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 05 16 at 04:09 PM • permalink38
urk! Well, I certainly fucked THAT all up, now didn’t I? Wrong year (1911, not 1939), wrong champ (Jack Johnson, not Joe Louis), wrong challenger too (Jim Jeffries, not Max Schmeling). PW is quite right, and I am quite wrong, careless, and sloppy.
Max Schmeling personally was apparently quite the class act. His fans, however, or at least way too many of the American ones, were apparently a whole different cup of urine.Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 05 17 at 05:26 PM • permalinkDespite being wrong about all of that, I persist in insisting that the term “great white hope” was explicitly racist in its origins. Not so sure about its applications, but yeah, that term comes from a bad place.
Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 05 17 at 05:28 PM • permalink
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When I first heard Shorten on the radio I was immediately reminded of John Halfpenny, union supremo of the 70s. The style of speech and the content were both disturbingly similar.