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SOME EVIL RIGHT-WING MONSTERS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS
I was looking around the office a few weeks ago for Piers Akerman (can’t recall exactly why; probably to discuss our latest instructions from John Howard/Karl Rove/Big Oil/Zionists). “He’s not here,” said the chief-of-staff. “He’s in Melbourne watching football. I think he’s with some old Collingwood player.”
So I call Piers ... and he’s with Peter Daicos. Peter Daicos. The greatest of them all. Karl has never - not once - granted me this level of access.
A shocking oversight! I shall write Karl immediately. I should have taken care of your access levels sooner, but I was busy whipping my houseboy for putting my dupioni silk drapes in the dryer. He knows those are only supposed to be dry-cleaned.
Sigh. Sometimes it’s not easy being a fascist rightwing tyrant.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 04 at 12:03 PM • permalinkOh dear, Tim
When will you convert to the true religion of Rugby League
The false gods of Aussie Rules will lead you astray
The beauty of Blocker, the class of Johnsy, the gracefullness of Matty R, the skill of Beaver, the heart of Tommy - the list of League legends is endless
However go the Bombers
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 07 04 at 12:10 PM • permalinkAnd whose job was it to keep Murdoch in line, Blair—hmmmmmmm?
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 04 at 12:25 PM • permalink#6 Ash_ (fellow insomniac)
Although I’m a mad Rugby League fan, I do like my Aussie Rules
Many years ago, I was fortunate to be at the great MCG in the olden days when there were bench seats, to watch the Bombers win
I still have my red and black scarf and beanie
And my autographed serviette from the Grand Final Brekkie which I was also fortunate to be at (the ex worked for a Bombers sponsor at the time)
It was bloody wonderful - the atmosphere at the MCG was amazing
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 07 04 at 12:32 PM • permalinkI watched the video and I have to say that no matter how good whatsisname, er, Daicos is - and from what I can tell, he is very, very good - I, as an American, want to find room in real (ie, American) football for those referee guys and that two-arm motion for whatever that score signal they’re making. The totally white suits, the hats, the rushed two or three steps, the ever so slight pause, and that two arm motion absolutely rocks.
... and yes, I was being being deliberately provocative with that real football comment.
... even tho’ it is true.
... OK, that second one was deliberately provocative as well.
Heh.
It’s like I keep telling Wronwright, Tim, you must gain that essential promotion above the 32nd Degree. The good perks go with the big responsibilities and high rank.
The downside of high rank is that you’re expected to help test new technology for Q Branch (shudder).
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2007 07 04 at 04:36 PM • permalink#10 In the AFL, though thankfully not in all leagues, the goal umpires now wear sportier-looking ensembles colour-coordinated with the field umpires. Everybody loved them looking like Edwardian butchers except themselves, apparently. They still do the flightless bird mating rituals though.
Football comparisons are odious, but the first time I saw American football I thought it was appropriate, even beautiful, that the officials wore Collingwood jumpers, `Collingwood maggot’ being a stronger term of abuse than mere `white maggot’.
I can hear the commentary now as we listen to the “Dream Political Football” team’s big clash of 2007 .”(AFL version)
The (non ABC) Commentator gasps :
“I don’t envy the coach - who should he put on the Right Wing ? Akerman or Blair ? Both have great credentials and the left winger they face is likely to cop a terrible one sided bashing…”
“Look I have to say it’s not a fair match up! On the Left wing is poor Alan Ramsey, totally outgunned lonely and dejected clutching at straws he must have found in the canteen, while team mate Phillip Adams is doing something despicable in his Forward Pocket - and why on earth is he wearing that black skivvy ? Doesn’t he know the Broadsheet Blatherers true colours are red - or at least pink ! It’s hard work for the Blatherers as they try to defend the indefensible. The chances of the Broadsheet Blatherers scoring a goal seem remote as they can’t even make a coherent point against the Tabloid Terriers .....”etc..
Geeze this footy stuff has made me thirsty - where’s the bar ??? Go the Terriers !!!(and NSW !!)
So I call Piers ... and he’s with Peter Daicos. Peter Daicos. The greatest of them all. Karl has never - not once - granted me this level of access. - Tim B.
Aiiiiiiieeeeeeee. I knew I forgot something.
(wronwright finds access permission slips signed by Karl for Tim, paco, RebeccaH, and Michael Lonie currently employed as bookmarks for the new Harry Potter book).
Oh well. I’ll be finished with this book pretty soon. Then I’ll slip them under their doors.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 04 at 09:16 PM • permalinkWron, what did I tell you about keeping track of documents from Karl? Let’s just say my whip hand isn’t a bit tired.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 04 at 09:30 PM • permalink#24: Well, hurry it up, bub. If that’s my pass to witness the public horse-whipping of Joe Wilson, I don’t want to be late. And one of those permission slips should be for my ringside seat at the shaving of Valerie Plame’s head; I certainly don’t want to miss that - I promised Scooter Libby I’d gather it up and have Mrs. Paco knit him some socks.
Ash
I’ll see your snake, and raise you two trucks.On the way in thismorning at about, oh, 6am, it was still dark.
On the Walloon-Rosewood road I had passed quite a few trucks. I was thinking that I’d passed about 4 or 5 gravel trucks and that there were a lot on the road.
I saw truck number 6 up the road from me, heading toward the quarry (I think).
There was a car, the truck, and a few cars behind the truck.
Then, about 100m from me I noticed something wasn’t looking quite right, the lights of the car behind the truck weren’t BEHIND the truck, they were BESIDE the truck. The car was overtaking the truck.
Didn’t he see me?
I braked heavily and pulled onto the shoulder and slid along, I really didn’t have anywhere to go. I could see dust and smell rubber.
As the car was almost upon me, the truck passed by and the car pulled in behind the truck.
When I recovered after a few seconds I looked around me.
There was a culvert/creek/drain in front of me, I’d stopped just in time.
Worse than that, there was a man walking on my side of the road, he was only metres further on from the culvert.
What if I had hit him?
I didn’t even see him, with the headlights of the oncoming car and truck shining at me and concentrating on what I was going to do if the car didn’t move… the car was beside the truck. It scared the shit out of me.OK, so that was at 6am-ish. I am so angry with that other driver for scaring the be-jeezus out of me. I hope the walker is OK.
Then, it’s not even 6:30, I’m driving along Moggil road. An empty dump truck pulls across and out in the dual section just along from where Mt Crosby Road joins Moggil road.
Usually it’s my first chance to pass slow traffic, however he pulled into the right lane, so I couldn’t.
Ah well, he’s going pretty fast, probably won’t slow down until he hits the hill in the dual section outside the aged home further along, opposite UQ Pinjara Hills.
Approaching the dual section, I am behind the truck, in front of the truck is a bus. I need to get past the bus. As the lane on the right hand side opens up (from nothing), I indicate and flow into the new lane.
The dump truck’s right wheels creep across the line marking the left lane from mine.
I figure that he’s just drifted and will move back.
By this stage I am beside him.
Bugger me if he begins to indicate and move into my lane.
I am travelling in the section marked as an island by paint, before the actual island starts, and braking heavily.
I blast my horn.
He realises that I am beside him and, from half into my lane, with me braking heavily and heading for the keep left sign in the middle of the traffic island, he pulls back into the left lane, and actually crosses that lane and pulls off the road in the driveway/roadway leading to the aged home.
I kept going.
What could I say but “I think you should look beside your truck before you change lanes. If you can’t see, fix your mirrors.”I will probably get killed on my way to/from work!This is probably how I will die. Shouting at some idiot driver.I didn’t get any of their ID or numberplates, it was too dark and the truck and the car kept going on the Walloon road, maybe I should have stopped, and the truck on Moggil Road pulled over but I kept going, nowhere for me to pull over to.
I have to sell my house and move closer to Bris.
Mr Daicos prefers dinner guests who don’t lick him.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 05 at 12:44 AM • permalink#27 kae
Good heavens - you were bloody lucky there! What a horror start to the day!
Now you need to go and buy some Lotto tickets
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 07 05 at 12:58 AM • permalink
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Tim,
As someone who once considered thinking about considering thinking about entering Melbourne University to do law, you should sue Karl.Sure, it would have you tortured and maimed, but it’s the point nah, the principle of it.
Hang on, phone’s ringing.
...
Nah, Tim, you’re right mate, don’t stress about it, Karl will forgive you.
/Carlton supporter.