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SO THIS IS FITZMAS
No indictment for Karl Rove, as Ankle Biting Pundits report:
So it ends (almost) not with a bang, but with a whimper. Fitzmas has been canceled, as Karl Rove’s attorney issued a statement that Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald will not be seeking an indictment of Karl Rove.
Perhaps the most despondent person in America today is Joe Wilson, who said he dreamed of seeing Rove “frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs”. Sorry Joe, you’re just going to have to settle for the Vanity Fair photo shoot, the big book deal you and Valerie got, and the adoration of moonbats everywhere.
That warming moonbat glow will make up for it: “Oh. My. God. We actually have a conversation with Joseph Wilson. With Joseph Wilson!”
UPDATE. Mark Coffey presents his Top Ten-themed progressive reactions to the end of Fitzmas.
UPDATE II. Instapundit has a Rove Roundup.
As I did proclaim right gladly in the ‘despair’ thread below… Once again, our Dark Master Karl drives all before him!
Note will be taken of the last minion to declaim his joy…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 13 at 10:04 AM • permalinkI wish it could be Fitzmas every day!
Posted by charles austin on 2006 06 13 at 10:49 AM • permalinkPerhaps the most despondent person in America today is Joe Wilson, who said he dreamed of seeing Rove “frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs”.
I have fantasies, too, Joe. For example, I sometimes dream of seeing your immaculately-barbered hair start falling out in huge clumps during a televised interview. Or visualizing Valerie sneaking out of the bedroom once you’ve dropped off, quickly dressing in some particularly slinky togs, and going off to meet Shawn Hannity. My favorite dream, though, is of seeing you finishing out your life working in the bakery section of a Super Wal-Mart, mixing yellow cake batter.
Or working in the goat section of a Nigerien specialty grocery store.
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 13 at 11:08 AM • permalink6/13/06 at the White House…..
Cheney (sipping cognac from his snifter): Good work, Karl. All is proceeding as planned!
Rove (polishing Cheney’s shoes): Yes, mighty Dark Lord of the Sith! What is our next step, sire?
Cheney: The next steps must be carefully taken. For this, we must make use of….. The Tardis!
Rove: I’ll bring it out front immediately, sire!
Cheney: And set it for….Acapulco!
Posted by Tex Lovera on 2006 06 13 at 11:09 AM • permalinkWhat? No frogmarch? I bet this was all just a Rovian plot to divert attention from the crimes of our murderous troops (who we support) in Haditha! I suspect the timing!
Posted by Randal Robinson on 2006 06 13 at 11:10 AM • permalinkI’d sort of forgotten about Jason Leopold’s claim last month that Karl Rove had been indicted in the Valerie Plame case and given 24 hours to “get his affairs in order.” It’s been 744 hours since that story appeared and we’re all still waiting.
(Hattip to #1Arron) Perhaps the most despondent person in America today is Joe Wilson. Jason is not frog marchin far behind Wilson as being the most despondent. Their both leading a parade of hysterical leftoids vomiting bile on the frog march to the NYSlimes news stands.Not so fast, Richard; I think they’re on to THE PLAN:
Classic Rovian Strategery is to send Jason Leopold out onto the battlefield essentially strapped to his horse, getting the progressives all a-tizzy, then
Hang Leopold out to dry: as nothing else proceeds from Leopold’s report, he’s somewhat discredited, the Left are puzzled and disappointed, a little, um, vulnerable. This is how you soften up your audience for the sucker punch….Keep people tracking this whole thing in complete suspense. Then, stage the Zarkawi assassination, which gives Bushie a boost, and lifts the spirits of wingnuts everywhere. Follow that with other “promising developments”, including quiet announcements that generals in Iraq are seriously considering troop drawdowns (won’t happen—there’s OIL at risk).
On the same day Fitzgerald has capitulated to the enormous pressures Rove/Cheney/et al. have brought to bear against him, and dropped the 5,000 volt live wire indictment Rove investigation, script Bushie to make a “surprise” appearance in Bagdad, thus boosting Bushie’s ratings further (“what a brave man”, “this guy’s a Hero”, blah, blah, blather).
The presidential visit to Iraq overshadows Rove slithering out of the indictment spotlight and back into the dark hole of the national psyche, as the media, relieved to be offered more superficial crap to throw into the faces of a steppin-n’-fetchin’ American public, breathlessly covers such salient issues as Bush’s security detail.
Tah-Dahhhh!
[Camera pans to Rove bowing to thunderous applause in his head, as he savors yet another game within a game played as a diversion, behind the facade….]
Courage, D Kos stalwarts, justice is due mr. rove. When it comes, he will face a humiliating public reckoning.
by Enough Talk Lets Get Busy on Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 07:33:43 AM PDT
Not a bad plan. I salute you all.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 13 at 11:35 AM • permalinkThe Daily Kos is theorizing that this is all part of a Rovian plot to get rid of Dick Cheney. I kid you not.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/6/13/9339/59486
Posted by Randal Robinson on 2006 06 13 at 11:42 AM • permalinkYet hope hope springs eternal in the nutroots:
Does this mean Rove has been singing?
The Plame arcana suggest strongly that Fitz had the goods on Rove, so if in fact he is not indicting, it means he is going after a bigger fish, and that fish can only be Cheney. I’d give two Rove’s for a Cheney anyday.by Knut Wicksell on Tue Jun 13, 2006 at 03:45:55 AM PDT
Do read the Kos thread—it’s a hoot and a half.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 13 at 11:46 AM • permalinkRandal, we should talk first next time.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 13 at 11:48 AM • permalinkKyda, the thread I linked to is actually theorizing that Rove wants Cheney out so is orchestrating it via the Fitzpatrick investigation.
You can’t make this stuff up. After having their dreams dashed of a Rove frogmarch, they’re now dreaming of a Cheney frogmarch.
Hope springs eternal in the moonbat breast.
Posted by Randal Robinson on 2006 06 13 at 12:03 PM • permalinkOK, I think this is how it goes:
Level One: Lord Rove
Level Two: Cheney; Anonymous Super-Rich Jew
Level Three: George W. Bush; Diebold Corporation; Roswell survivor P3Gorax7.
Level Four: Markos Moulitsas; Al Gore; Rupert Murdoch; that guy you always see out of the corner of your eye but he’s gone when you turn to look; Tim Blair; “Osama bin Laden” (Fred McTavish); Sean Hannity.
Level Five: Tessio; Clemenza; Pentangeli.
Level Six: Wronwright, Paco, Stoop, McEnroe, and the June Taylor Dancers.
“Rove” is bad news but worse bad news for the “Hope the USA and Western Civilization Dies” lefties led by Harry (Thin) Reid, the US Senate minority leader who declared Alberto another version of Katrina because of Al Gore and global waning. Reality check for this bunch: Very little damage from Alberto.
My god people, was there any doubt whatsoever of Lord Karl getting off? This is Karl we’re talking about. Karl Rove. He’s
evil and he’s been evil since 1096 when he arranged the First Crusade so he could recover some old papers he left in Jersalemvery smart. He’s a master of technology includingthe orbital laser and the Tardisnew Dell Pentium III computer. He’s a master chess player who canplan 24 moves ahead and beat masters of the gamebeat my 73 year old mother, although he’s very gracious when doing so.If Karl gets indicted, it’s only because Karl wanted to get indicted. It’s what he does for fun. That and sending faxes to Dan Rather.
Posted by wronwright on 2006 06 13 at 12:46 PM • permalinkFeliz nada Rove! Feliz nada Rove! Means I want to wish you a merry Fitzmas! I want to wish you a merry Fitzmas! I want to wish you a merry Fitzmas from the bottom of my heart!
Posted by andycanuck on 2006 06 13 at 02:35 PM • permalinkKarl Rove is a frickin’ genius. An evil frickin’ genius. How evil, you ask? His home address is 666 Avenue of the Beast. Baskin Robbins has a special menu that only Karl can order from that has 666 flavors - all of them evil. He has 666 tattooed on his buttocks and when Patric Fitzgerald failed to indict him he dropped his trousers and told him to “kiss my sixes”
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 06 13 at 03:09 PM • permalinkIt ain’t over til it’s over. From Wilson’s att’y:
“While it appears that Mr. Rove will not be called to answer in criminal court for his participation in the wrongful disclosure of Valerie Wilson’s classified employment status at the CIA in retaliation against Joe Wilson for questioning the rationale for war in Iraq, that obviously does not end the matter. The day still may come when Mr. Rove and others are called to account in a court of law for their attacks on the Wilsons.”
Next stop, civil court.
The ‘bats at Raw Story are having a bad day, poor babies:
Karl Rove definitely leaked Valerie Plame’s name to Novak and another reporter. And Valerie Plame was definitely an undercover CIA operative.
If Rove was a Democrat, he would be in jail by now. We do not live in a nation of laws anymore. Our system has been hijacked by criminals…and they are called Republicans.
Tom3 | 06.13.06 - 10:29 am|The thought of the gloating look on that piggish Rovian face makes me simply nauseous. And the self-satisfied smirk of the Homo Simian is too depressing to even contemplate. I am going out for a long bike ride.
Via | Homepage | 06.13.06 - 9:39 amAmerica continues to become pathetic and irrelevant. I’m embarassed for all the fat stupid and lazy Americans that have no interest in politics…
Pickles McCoy | 06.13.06 - 1:32 pmFitzgerald is a loser; Marcia Clark could have got Rove indicted, his guilt in simple perjury is painfully clear. Maybe Fitzgerald needs to be investigated for corruption because he’s obviously been compromised.
rick | 06.13.06 - 1:17 pmPosted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 13 at 03:12 PM • permalinkMan this day just keeps getting better-Now Patrick Kennedy has pled guilty to DUI.
In five appearances before a grand jury Mr. Rove employed what one source called “his Jedi mind tricks.”
“But it was all for nothing,” the unnamed source said, “Since the lack of charges against him will only confirm America’s worst fears — that Karl Rove controls everything.”
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 06 13 at 04:47 PM • permalinkWhat a week…
Zarqawi killed, dems despondent
Americans didn’t do anything wrong while killing Zarqawi, dems more despondent
YearlyKos convention, Kos 0 for 20 in getting his candidates elected, dems too stupid to know the whole country is laughing at Kos
Patrick Kennedy pleads guilty to his first DUI, dems resigned (but ready to vote for Kennedy in the next election)
Haditha looks like it’s going to turn out to be yet ANOTHER media hoax, dems suicidal
Gaza beach bombing turns out to be yet ANOTHER Palestinian atrocity and not an Israeli act, dems despondent
Rove will not be indicted (for anything), Joe Wilson hysterical
On the bright side, we shouldn’t have to put up with any more of that snivelling Murtha who should be ashamed of himself for semaring American troops. Surely after the Haditha hoax, he’ll stop getting media attention.
Don’t count on it, JerryS. Murtha has announced that he wants to be the next House majority leader. Of course, he’s assuming the Doomicrats are going to take over the House in the next election. We haven’t heard the last of his fat mouth, unfortunately.
3 whut? last minion? wu wu er, YAY huzzah! {furtively looks around, hoping someone will be later yet}
37 Jerry
Surely after the Haditha hoax, he’ll stop getting media attention.
Ha! That would imply that learning had taken place. Is there some reason to expect that?
Posted by Huck Foley on 2006 06 13 at 07:53 PM • permalink[/But… I thought Dick Cheney was the evil puppeteer mastermind, and Rove was his henchminion. Damn, I need an organizational chart. quote]
Dave S.—it’s like alternate side of the street parking in NYC. Karl and Dick take turns.
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 13 at 08:33 PM • permalinkBTW, I saw Murtha on the late night news a few weeks ago (as part of the daily 3 minute Dubya beat-up, natch), and without the help of the chyron I would have gone away from that clip thinking, “eh, that idiot Ted Kennedy again”. Am I the only one who couldn’t tell those two apart in a police lineup, or have I just not been sufficiently inundated with Murtha’s fat face and gravely concerned look of grave concern?
“We all knew this was coming, didn’t we? I mean, come on. This is Rove we’re talking about.”
————————————————————-
Yes RebeccaH, this is Rove we’re talking about:
“Except for a lapse of several months, Selective Service records show presidential adviser Karl Rove escaped the draft for nearly three years at the height of the Vietnam War using student deferments [...] Despite the apparent lapse in his full-time status, Rove maintained his deferment.”
Poor Karl…now he’s getting draft dodger hand-me-down smears after it didn’t work on Dubya?
Truly, you can’t parody this stuff anymore. I still would like some less transparently stupid trolls, though, if possible. I’m beginning to think it can’t get any worse, even if we do put Stoop on the job. Whenever he returns, that is.
“Except for a lapse of several months, Selective Service records show presidential adviser Karl Rove escaped the draft for nearly three years at the height of the Vietnam War using student deferments [...] Despite the apparent lapse in his full-time status, Rove maintained his deferment.”
About a gazillion guys managed that, Hal ol’ pal, it was the luck of the draw, not an illegality. I dare you say, if you’re male, you’d have been scrabbling for deferments yourself. But, pay attention, we’re living in the 21st century now, Vietnam was over more than thirty years ago, and this is a whole new ballgame.
46 RH
But, pay attention, we’re living in the 21st century now, Vietnam was over more than thirty years ago, and this is a whole new ballgame.
Without mentioning names BUT John Kerry, Al Gore, Max Cleland, Jack Murtha, Wesley Clark, (although Wesley is still miffed that he could get that Brit to confront the Russians in the Balkans) and I guess by word, Hal, are still in cities like Hue, Saigon, Khe San and Da Nang. That is when they weren’t depositing CIA agents in Kampuchea (aka Cambodia).
Here’s a quote from one of the commenters on the original “partial apology” thread at TruthOut. (Hell, the comments section was so long and since I read through the whole thing I feel I’ve earned the right to call it TO, like the regulars do.)
Anyway, here’s the comment:
Personally, I’ve got egg on my face and I’m embarrased. I wore a tin foil hat with devil’s horns on it at work for a few minutes as a joke. Maybe I should have left it on.
RobC — You’ll have to wait on the Hummer. Wronwright did something to the fuel injection when he was waxing it somehow and now it gets entirely too good mileage for a RWDB ride…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 14 at 01:47 AM • permalink“Fitzgerald is a loser; Marcia Clark could have got Rove indicted, his guilt in simple perjury is painfully clear. Maybe Fitzgerald needs to be investigated for corruption because he’s obviously been compromised.
rick | 06.13.06 - 1:17 pm”Well, that’s the answer! Investigate (smear) the investigators!
Did any of these numbskulls ever read Kafka? Are they all giant cockroaches, perhaps? Jeez!
At least “Dem in VA” acknowledges the profound truth:
Rove is an evil magician who has absolute power
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 06 14 at 09:38 AM • permalink44 PW
I still would like some less transparently stupid trolls, though, if possible. I’m beginning to think it can’t get any worse, even if we do put Stoop on the job.
Complaints, all I get is complaints ... okay, true and valid complaints, but still, what can I do? If they weren’t HOW they are, they wouldn’t be WHAT they are, would they, huh would they? No indeed they would not. Plus some of them are kind of unruly. I’m minioning as fast as I can, is alls I’m sane.
Posted by Huck Foley on 2006 06 14 at 11:48 PM • permalink
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Heh, just hours after I laughed about this.
Some people just want to believe so badly.