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SNOW IN ENGLAND, OF ALL PLACES
A 50-year-old home movie recently alerted Robert Fisk to the horrible realities of global warming. See, it once snowed in England when Robert was but a child, still dreaming of his first beating at the hands of Afghan waifs; but it don’t snow no more!.
Fisk’s scientific analysis (“it really was cold then”) ran last month in the Independent. Time to get out your Super 8 camera, Bobby, because this week the snow returned:
Britain was hit by travel chaos yesterday as much of the country was covered by a thick blanket of snow at the height of the morning rush-hour.
No idea if Maidstone, the scene of Fisk’s childhood snow encounter, was covered; if so, it wouldn’t be for the first time since that 20th Century Fisk home movie was shot in the 1950s. Here’s Maidstone in 1987:
Thus is global warming disproved, according to Fisk’s required level of evidence. By the way, would it kill the people in this Maidstone building to hang a cheery sign in one of their windows? Maybe something like “HELLO OUTSIDE WORLD! DYING IN HERE!” or “THIRD FLOOR - WHERE THE SEX IS” or even “COME HOME FROM LEBANON ROBERT! LOOK WHAT YOU’RE MISSING!”
UPDATE. Headline in Time magazine:
Measuring the Al Gore Effect
That effect has been measured often. Al Gore is currently visiting England.
(Via Ralph L. in the UK, who emails: “We have had the worst snow for ages.”)
By the way…..I wonder how many Mother Gaia™ worshipping envirotards are irritated by yet another example of their global goreming hysteria thrown back into their faces?
Many, I’m sure, are abusing a keyboard and ravaging their mouse in frustration as we speak.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 09 at 02:43 PM • permalinkAl Gore is currently visiting England.
Ba-dump tish.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 02 09 at 02:57 PM • permalinkAre you serious, murph? You get 5 cm of snow and the papers make it sound as though you’re buried up to your eyebrows?
I’m speechless.
Posted by Sonetka's Mom on 2007 02 09 at 03:20 PM • permalinkHe was at a press conference with Branson for that carbon reducing thingy contest. Dollars to donuts he flew over there on a private jet. And more dollars to donuts that Branson flew into OZ on a private jet for the Australian Tennis Championships.
No more mention of donuts for fear that a certain Dixie Chick might appear.
Sonetka’s Mom—
You get 5 cm of snow and the papers make it sound as though you’re [the British] buried up to your eyebrows?
5 cm’s? Oh pah. In Ohio we got 8 inches of snow (I think that’s maybe 20 cm). With 0 degrees F (which is, I don’t know, -20 or so C) temperature. This past Tuesday it took me 5 freaking hours to drive home. Grid lock everywhere. All my clever ideas to avoid the slow spots became emmeshed in dirty slippery slush. It was a quagmire right out of John Kerry’s imagination.
Damn I would have given big bucks to have driven a hover car that day.
Posted by wronwright on 2007 02 09 at 04:11 PM • permalinkThe only reason I can think of to film snow would be that it was somehow unusal.
If it were of the kids making snowmen or something then surely even Fisk would have the sense to put on long pants.
Posted by tabitharuth on 2007 02 09 at 04:35 PM • permalinkHere in Upstate New York, we’ve got close to 10 feet (3 meters plus) of snow in certain spots. It’s also colder than Hillary Clinton’s tit in a brass bra.
But somehow that makes skeptics like me into Holocaust deniers.
“Good morning, welcome to The Weather Channel and the daily Goretrack 2000 forecast. We’ll have cold temps and a wintry mix in Atlanta later today as Al Gore touches down for a global warming conference at the convention center - look for slow ‘n’ go travel downtown on your commute home. A downright summery stretch in the Tar Heel State comes to end Monday with an expected forty-degree plunge in temps as Al Gore fires up the volunteers at the University of North Carolina. And you folks from the Chamber of Commerce in Pittsburgh can breathe easy - that winter festival which was looking so touch-and-go just yesterday with unseasonably mild weather? It’s back on track for midweek as the former Vice-President jets in for an alternative-energy meeting with your city council, and brings with him an arctic front that will make those ice sculptures positively sparkle.”
But somehow that makes skeptics like me into Holocaust deniers.
Ellen Goodman is a nationally-syndicated columnist. And despite that, she’s such a vapid, air-headed, addle-brained, dull-witted non-entity that in the five-plus years of my immersion in the blogosphere, this is the very first time I have ever seen her cited in any way. How incredibly fucking pathetically lame do you have to be as a syndicated political columnist to accomplish that?
#16
If people like Ellen Goodman don’t cut that sh—out there’s going to be a civil war in the future. Because no right-minded person is:
1) going to take crap like that lying down just because they don’t buy into her pet theory (which can’t be denied since it’s never happened)
2) ever going to consent to being ruled by anyone or any class of people who would make that accusation in the first place. It would be too dangerous to ever allow someone like that to have power over you.
And while we’re on the subject. If Venezuelans don’t want to be living in the future suckhole of South America that Rebecca mentioned in a previous thread then now would be the time to do something about it.
Meanwhile, on board the Nisshin Maru, the whalers’ latest catch is being winched aboard…
WHALER #1
Hawww! Broo whale! Velly tasty! Jagaimo! Potato salada!’
he is joined by other whalers. As the whale is cut up they link arms and sing:
We are whaling….
we are whaling….
home again….cross the sea….
we are whaling…stormy waters….On board the Farley Mowat Captain Paul Wilson is watching this grisly scene through binoculars.
CAPTAIN WILSON
We’ve got them now, the bastards. Where are the tabs of acid?
(long pause)
The acid! Where is it?
BURNTOUT MOONBAT
Well….like….y’know….we were bored, man. And…..
CAPTAIN WILSON
You idiots! That was butyric acid! It’s toxic!
BURNTOUT MOONBAT
Yeah, but the hallucinations! Wow! Haven’t got that high since I sucked a fart out of a cane toad.
CAPTAIN WILSON
All right. So we’ve got no acid. In that case, prepare the sock puppets.
BURNTOUT MOONBAT
Can’t.
CAPTAIN WILSON
Why not?
BURNTOUT MOONBAT
.....We smoked ‘em.
CAPTAIN WILSON
You smoked the sock puppets????[
BURNTOUT MOONBATShit, man! We’ve been on this fucking tub six fucking weeks now! The chicks are all dykes! Nothing but ice out the window! Whaddaya expect us to do? Read?
CAPTAIN WILSON
You smoked the sock puppets. I can’t believe it. Well then. There’s only one thing for it. Launch the majestic duck of peace!
PRISSY MOONBAT
It’s frozen, sir.
CAPTAIN WILSON
Gaia preserve us! How are we to fight the evil whale-eaters? We have no weapons! All is lost!
PEACEFREAK MOONBAT
I’ve got an idea sir. I’ll be a human lantern. I’ll wrap myself in a large paper tube and stick a candle up my ass. Then I’ll float out to the Nissan Maru casting flowers upon the waters and singing ‘Morning has Broken’ in nine different languages.
CAPTAIN WILSONBrilliant. Asbolutely brilliant. Videographers, make sure you get that. Anyone else?
FRUITY MOONBAT
I’d just like to, like, talk to them, y’know? I mean we’re all people, right? Deep down. Despite our differences. We’re all the same loathsome failed species, damned for eternity. So I thought if I, like, maybe, took over that CD of whale songs we’ve been listening to, and cooked them some of my swede-and-mushroom dumplings….
CAPTAIN WILSON
Ah yes. The irresistable allure of vegan cookery. That might work. What an enterprising crew!
Meanwhile back on the Nisshan Maru, the Japanese whalers are still singing.
WHALERSBaby Baruga in the deep broo sea
Swim so wild and you swim so free
Chop off your head….
E-vis-cer-ate….
You’re just a little white whale on a plate….WHALER#1
Captain! Plotestor! On Starboard Bow!
WHALER CAPTAINAh so! Moonbat with candle up ass! Excellent! Prepare harpoon!
Measuring the Al Gore Effect??? More like measuring how much TIME staffers can blow Al in 3 column inches.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 09 at 07:32 PM • permalinkI spent my first 23 years in Hull, England and in very few years did we get truly good snow falls,which of course as kids we longed for. It mostly turned to grey slush and all we got were raw chapped knees from sleet and cold driving rain.To get good snow falls you had to go further north to Scottish highlands.
Oh, to be in England now that winter’s there.
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 09 at 07:51 PM • permalinkMaidstone in real time! Wow. It is that exciting.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 02 09 at 08:02 PM • permalink#8 Don’t forget you had to do it uphill, backwards, both ways.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 02 09 at 08:04 PM • permalinkSometimes I get the impression that ‘Mother Gaia’ does not like her number one currency representative here on planet earth. She seems to go out of her way to make a complete dumb ass of Al Gore, whenever she is able. I therefore wonder how she feels about the other spivs and touts who have jumped on the doomsday bandwagon. Oh well, we will see, maybe she will disable some of their globe trotting aircraft, stuff an oil pump on one of their limousines, or even blow Robert Fisk’s laptop computer up, while he is using it. The possibilities are endless.
So, ummmm, he walks into Tim’s
barTavern, the barkeep asks, “what’ll ya’ have”. Looks around and says…“what are they drinkin’?” Barkeep says, “Oh, that’s the local Writers Guild meeting, they are sipping Courvoisier”...looks at the barkeep and says, “Courvois’WHAT? Writers? Bow ties? Jesus, where in the hell did all these eggheads come from all of a sudden? Gimme’ a beer”...:).More scientific study is needed on the Gore Effect. First thing to know is: does he have to land, or will just flying him over a country trigger the cold spell? Because I’m thinking, maybe we could truss him up in one of those planes you can refuel in the air and simply jet him round and round the Earth non-stop. Of course, I’m basing this on IPCC predictions, but if Tim Flannery’s dire forecasts turn out to be right, that simply won’t be enough. Al will have to be cloned. Shouldn’t be too hard working out the number of Gores it takes to offset xWatts/metre squared of CO2’s radiative forcing. (yAG = -xW/m2)
Naturally, I am concerned about the dangers of an escaped coterie of Al Gores. Some scientists believe that if too many Als land at once it could trigger the next Ice Age. But if we are to beat this coming apocalypse that’s just a risk we’ll have to take.
Security detail, to the briefing room.
#38, spot on. Now hopefully people will see the Cultists’ real agenda: more regulation and higher taxes.
States see tax revenue in carbon tradeSTATE governments are preparing to reap millions of dollars in duty from any carbon trading system as they work towards a national scheme designed to cut greenhouse emissions.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 02 09 at 09:47 PM • permalinkIn late breaking news, Al Gore has been named the Winter Olympics mascot in perpetuity.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 09 at 10:40 PM • permalink#43
I know, I know. But this is life and death, people. I envisage something like the caged trolley they used for Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs. It may be that Al actually has to speak out against global warming for the Gore Effect to kick in, but perhaps we can circumvent this my hooking up a closed-circuit comm unit within the plane, so that the only person able to here Al Gore is Al Gore.
There is also the issue of how to properly dispose of the biohazardous waste once the planet has cooled. A good carbon sinking comes to mind, but others may have better ideas.
Like all grand schemes, I suppose, some controversy is inevitable.
Ellen Goodman is still getting published? Good lord, the things I never notice anymore. But that’s the way it is in America—once you get a syndicated column you’re SFL, no matter that you maybe had one good year and the rest of your career is drivel you came up with to make your deadline.
And no I am not regretting my decision to avoid the writing fame limelight and instead become an anonymous office flunky. Not at all. Really. Excuse me, I am going to hit myself on the head with a hammer again—it’s the only way to make the bad thoughts stop.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 09 at 10:45 PM • permalinkDminor—such is the power of the Gore that he can impose the Effect merely by touching a location on the map…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 02 10 at 01:59 AM • permalinkAs a born and bred Maidstonian, would it be possible not to mention the Fisk-link quite so freely ? We all know that the town’s been progressively wrecked by waves of Londoners since the 60’s, leading to it’s present status as the chav-magnet of Mid-Kent, but this is too much.
If you must do it, would it be possible to write it as “M********”, as then we could pretend that Fiskie belongs to, say, Mansfield?Incidentally, the piccie you’ve got there is a view of Maidstone East station looking west. The rather Stalinist office blocks in the middle are just on the other side of the River Medway, and the high ground in the background is Rocky Hill with Barming beyond.
The snow in January 1987 was a damn sight worse that the light dusting we’ve had just now, with helicopter food drops to cut-off villages and other exciting what-not: it came in on an East wind for a start, and if the wind blows from that direction then Kent is the first high-ish ground this side of Russia. I’d only started work the previous month, so this brings nostalgic memories of trudging into town in the snow, then huddling round the office heater, serving the occasional (and frankly idiotic)customer, and waiting for noon when we could ‘phone Head Office in snow-free Swindon and ask permission to go home…...Happy days. Happy days in M********.
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Tim, mentioning Fisk and sex in the same paragraph is quite nauseating.
But I’ll take it like a
manwomanmetrosexual, and move on.