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SMURFY DOWN
Those commie Smurfs deserved to be bombed, writes James Morrow:
Everyone knows that the Smurfs are just cartoon-land’s version of the Viet Cong. Think about it:
They lived under a jungle canopy, where they lived a bucolic communal existence except when being tormented by their arch-enemy, Gargamel, who was always drawn with a vaguely Nixonian mien. (Gargamel always tried to go after the Smurfs in various flying machines, and even attempted defoliation if I recall my childhood viewing correctly).
Some of the main characters also further set up the analogy. Smurfette, for example, is nothing more than a blonde-haired, blue-skinned Jane Fonda: created by the evil Gargamel (that is, born in the evil U.S. of A.), went over to the other side and joined the Smurfs.
Among earlier comments on Unicef’s act of Smurficide:
* blogstrop: “Charly don’t smurf.”
* Susan Norton: “The fact there was only one female Smurf always seemed to me to be vaguely sinister.”
* Paul Zrimsek: “Only one female Smurf? The UN peacekeepers are going to have to take turns.”
* And Ernst Blofeld: “Making a smurf snuff film is totally bad-ass. Frankly, it gives me strange new respect for the UN.”
“only one female smurf”? That explains why those UN guys resorted to goats!
Posted by pick-your-pun on 2005 10 10 at 07:02 PM • permalinkI don’t know what color a Smurf turns when you choke it but I intend to devote the rest of my life to finding out.
I do know that when Smurfistan held its first free election in decades, they dyed voters’ fingers flesh-tone so they could tell who’d already voted.
Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 2005 10 10 at 08:50 PM • permalinkthe smurfs have always reminded me of the Jews of Czarist 19th century russia—living away in their little Shtetles (ghettos). Good ol Pappa and Grandpa Smurf (both sporting white beards)are the learned Rabbis charged with looking out for their young religious students—the rest of the Smurfs. Whilst Gargamel was the bad Czarist overlord who threatend them with constant pogroms.
But of course, we all know the markers of the programme had no intention of conveying such a sweet/innocent message.
“Papa Smurf, is there a prayer for Gargamel?”
“A prayer for Gargamel? Of course my son. There is a parayer for everything. (chants)May the Lord bless and keep Gargamel…far away from us.”
(With apologies to Fiddler on the Roof.)
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 10 10 at 09:59 PM • permalink.“Little known fact: Every war since Vietnam has been fought against the Smurfs.”
. Part of the Smurf snuff film from what appears to be Belgian TV
via Live Journal
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2005 10 10 at 11:05 PM • permalinkThat’s crazy talk! Everyone knows it’s the Teletubbies who are Cartoonland’s Viet-Cong.
Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2005 10 11 at 01:56 AM • permalinkThis may go down in history as
“The Battle of The Belge”.
Apparently the Belge are not impressed.
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Just wait till Tarquin and Jeremy from the ABC find out about this outrage example of smurfophobia.